Thursday, June 11, 2026

Journey 345 ~Virgil… A Noise… Braxton~

1957 Days Without B III, Day 1398 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good Day? Mine. Late waking up. The Magic Glasses are unusable until 3:30 AM. Stepmom…

Yeah, I usually hear from her every morning, but nothing today. We both have “ISSUES.”

B, I’m talking about Julia Michaels angelic, above the titans, let the church say amen…

Okay, so I’m saying, big? It must annoy you sometimes that even five years later, from Sunday, January 31, 2021. Your Dad still wants to storm the gates of Heaven and bring you back with me. You’re not Buffy the Vampire Slayer being brought out of Heaven because I’m “Locked Out of Heaven.” And there I go thinking about your potential future stepmom again. Can’t I focus on you and me? Like how I wouldn’t want you suffering through this heat. It’s annoying, Virgil. And he hasn’t heard me turn on the a/c. Poor 2-V

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Um, it’s like Dante’s Inferno in the worst way. As if there is a best way. My money B III.

“It’s time we stop, Hey what’s that sound? Everybody look what’s going down?” Cash B

Am I scared yet? I’m not getting any hours at the Day Job. Effing MAGA has everything going up. Eff MAGA and FDT! Your brother needs to see the vet and needs a bath too.

And me? You know your Dad wants everything. And what’s the last thing I bought that I wasn’t putting in my stomach? Another pair of the Magic Glasses. You know the kind that will get me sent to the Second Circle of Hell. Anything to escape this heat, right, B?

Second is Wind, Ninth Ice

And if it’s not the heat, it’s the noise I find annoying. Or the lack thereof. “You’re Not Here,” I mean in the fur. Still not a word from M Anime. No air conditioner blowing.

Virgil doesn’t make a sound unless he’s crying. No book sales or lotto winnings. Facebook

I can’t snack on any more chips. I finished the drink M Anime wanted me to try out over “Bloom.” This new stuff is called “ARIH.” Hopefully I won’t be going back to bed, Braxton.

And if there is noise. WARNING! Like something out of The Long Walk. I’m warned about money, women’s mammaries, or something I must do. Even worse? Being me. And yet you love me. Complaining. Ranting. Everything. Virgil… A Noise… Braxton

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Thursday, June 4, 2026

Journey 338 ~Virgil On B’s Promotion~

1950 Days Without B III, Day 1391 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Me? Maybe someday I won’t use sad thoughts of you to make myself feel better.

Someday I won’t just say, “Just me, Baby V! Did you have a good day? Good day?” I’ll be all “Honey, I’m home,” to M Anime. You know your Dad’s a bit of a traditionalist.

Having a wife to smile for, and let’s not forget you and Virgil’s two-legged siblings.

Really, B, makes me sound like something out of “Pleasantville” or “Somewhere That’s Green,” but I’m not on Skid Row. Despite ‘my creativity,’ “Little Shop of Horrors.” That’s my mind, son. I could use a crown and M Anime on my face. Seriously, TMI, right?

Braxton, if I didn’t want to think, I could give me one of those effing MAGA hats. The Mark of the Beast has never been more evident. Losing My Religion

“The beast forced all the people, small and great, rich and poor, slave and free, to have a mark placed on their right hands or on their foreheads.”
Revelation 13:16

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

In regards to you, Braxton… Never. You know I still believe if life’s a game made for everyone, love is the instructions. Your instruction. Much like I believed with M Anime, “I still believe that someday you and me will find ourselves in love again.” What do you think, B? Will I ever sing to her as I sing to you and your brother? That line of work, B III.

This leads me to what I’ve been sitting here thinking about. Effing, eww! Working. Living

These days I feel closer to you than ever? An apocalypse. An effing zombie. Alive…

“I wouldn’t be surprised if someone promoted him soon… to full dead.”
Chronicles of Riddick

Honestly, B, I’d rather not be. Which is why you sent your little brother. Obviously!

However, to actually quote Aloe Blacc, “I Need A Dollar.”

But how? A promotion from the “Day Job”. “I Am Delirious Outta My Mind.” “Am I A Psycho?” I would have to be to believe such things. And with the things that I write, B.

Even if you learned to read on “the Rainbow Bridge,” B… Was I really about to say I wish you wouldn’t read? Again I’m not MAGA. But if I could only promote myself like them.

If it’s not writing… You remember what I got into after you left me. I should have gone crazy with RAGE instead of dreaming of being Johnny Sins. Incredibly STUPID!

Language! I know B. STUPID is the worst word. But Happiness, Life over existence, promotion… How’d you get up there, Braxton? Virgil On B’s Promotion

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Thursday, May 28, 2026

Journey 331 ~Virgil’s Beeps, Braxton’s Boops~

1943 Days Without B III, Day 1384 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Mine? “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly”. Although, how do I see anything? SIGH

Crying? Not at first, B. So I was late getting up this morning, hmm. It’s hard to obey an alarm clock to get up at 4 AM when you’re going to sleep at 2 AM. Awake before M, B III

Talk about the good—your potential future stepmom in a sundress or not. I know you appreciate your favorite girl’s yabbos. And we still want to see Cherry’s. She’s 29. Seriously, I was about to say age is just a number, and then I remembered last night.

Yesterday, Emmanuelle Nadeau aka, “Sister Melissa,” and Jessica Garza, aka “Sister Penny.” WARNING! I’m being bad, with the Magic Glasses, and the “Glow Box”. But if I want to be ugly, I need only look into a mirror.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

But as the song goes, today is “All About You.” And while I’m busy ripping off pop culture, I actually need to see “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly,” and I miss “The Book of Clarence,” where I first heard Jeymes Samuel’s “All About You.” All the noise, Braxton.

I swear it’s driving me insane. Short of your potential stepmom’s temptations, your brother’s tantrums, and I’ll even admit the final typing of a conversation with you or the girls, and even your own thoughts. It’s like I need the noise and then effing silence.

Honestly, though, if I had one wish right now… Of course, it would always be to have you back. But I want to forget about the Day Job Tuesday. Eff Cody ChesnuTT! Eff “Look Good In Leather”. And if I want you to watch your language when barking… Well sorry.

I’m only looking for a noise to drown everything else out right now. Something, anything!

Is it any wonder that the three latest additions to my fictional harem have been technical types B III? Judy Alvarez, 2B, and Nicoletta Goldstein. Books you can’t read, Braxton.

Better yet, a book I wouldn’t read to you—the buzzing, the breaths taken, and the bang. I don’t need to go looking in that special drawer… You know the one under your memorial, which was meant to protect us… It’s like a nuclear button. Not so serious. Only bad.

Daddy doesn’t need that much noise. Virgil’s Beeps, Braxton’s Boops

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Thursday, May 21, 2026

Journey 324 ~Braxton’s Highest Price, Virgil~

1936 Days Without B III, Day 1377 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Is there a time without it up on the Rainbow Bridge, Heaven, “The Garden,” etc.

Who are you? Thanos? In all honesty, you did take half the universe dying, Braxton.

Seriously, if I were to blame you for anything, it’s simply that you took the wrong half. It should have been me, dammit. And no, I’m not mad. I’ve wasted another day. STUPID things were done. “Sex Dreams” … Uh, yeah, let’s call them that, were had. I know, Eww!

And your Daddy sleeps like a sinner, meaning there “Ain’t No Rest For The Wicked”.

“Ain’t No Grave” can hold my body down. I keep saying I’m going straight to Hell, Little B. I’d say I’m already there with all this heat. I swear, hot summer sun and hot wings.

Her? And no, I don’t mean the singer B or the movie. Good movie BTW.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

No, little man. Break it down. Your Dad is in hot water again. Or it feels that way. Uh oh.

Let’s just say sometimes your Daddy needs to take off the Magic Glasses sometimes, B.

A hot blonde here, The Last of Us there, and the sisters from Tenjho Tenge this morning as well. I thought way back then you would pay the price for my indiscretion. I’d have to leave you. But it was I who paid the price. Again, all this heat. Rage, Lust, and a sick man.

I gave you indifference, thinking I was protecting you. And then “Don’t Fear The Reaper.”

That’s why this isn’t Hell… The Ninth Circle is supposed to be cold. That price…

It would be too easy to pay. No, Braxton, I pay by keeping your brother alive. Virgil is running around in your bedroom as we speak… Not being you. B, you would be in here.

Well, unless you were in a time-out. Then I would be busting my balls all over some girl online. Again, Eww! Can I not be Mike Johnson telling my only son about my bits? Eww!

Effing MAGA! Am I blaming them for my being broke? First, your Dad is broke in more ways than one. Second, your Dad is a bum. And third, “How Long Will I Love You,” B?
Your brother, M Anime (maybe) someday, and me? You ask so much of me, my son. Braxton’s Highest Price, Virgil

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Thursday, May 14, 2026

Journey 317 ~Some BS Reading, Virgil~

1929 Days Without B III, Day 1370 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Did you read a good book? Not “The Good Book,” mind you. You can read…

What? You’re not a slave. You’re just… Dead. “And before I’d be a slave, I’d be buried in my grave. And go home to my Lord and be free.” A few things about that, Braxton…

First, I “know” you can see colors now. Rainbow Bridge and all. The Rainbow Road.

Second, I have no problem “saying” you’re gone, and you’ve died. “It’s no insult to say a dead man is dead.” It’s ACCEPTANCE. To read. To endure. To know. That will never happen, Baby B. It’s just a bullshit word. As far as I’m concerned, you’re on my right, B.

Virgil’s sleeping on my left. But thirdly, my dear B, you know how MAGA is about Black people. Listen, listen, hear and understand. Always FDT!

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

But I’m not here to talk about hearing unless it’s Succubus Lord 14 (Swimsuit Edition) or M Anime minus the swimsuit. Braxton, I love your potential stepmom’s yabbos. Jeezu B!

And no, I’m not getting all religious either. Okay, there is the religion that the Magic Glasses are building. As far as “The Good Book” is concerned… John and Revelation.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son… B, my sweet, sweet boy, I would watch cities burn for you, I would commit genocides for you, I would bathe in blood for you. Taking a bullet, you wouldn’t have to ask. This world means nothing.

Jeezu, Joel, John Wick, etc. So let it be written, so let it be done.

And that is what is scaring your Daddy today. The things I have written. “All These Things That I’ve Done”. It’s not the depth of my love for you. Anyone who knows me knows the lengths I will go to. I love… well, not yet, but I am obsessed with M Anime, B. I am so in love with dying, I’ve read the word necrophilia. I’m talking damn near Tillie Cole’s “Raphael.” And you and your brother have lain in bed with me more than any chick. Do you remember you wanted me to take your Favorite Girl to bed? And Virgil would cry all night if I kicked him out. But last night (sigh), what I wrote triggered a WARNING! Some BS Reading, Virgil

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Thursday, May 7, 2026

Journey 310 ~B’s Are Welcome, Virgil~

1922 Days Without B III, Day 1363 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day… Your Dad? Well, I wasn’t much of a student. Do you remember that?

Was I still in college… AHEM, junior college, when you made your way here? You definitely weren’t here for high school. You and I would have died a lot sooner fighting my Old Man. Back when I was praying for a D in summer school. No, not like that, B.

Eww. Nothing against the LGBTQIA+ community, Braxton. We’re not MAGA. FDT! B, that was your last gift to me… Well, not really. But you died Sunday, January 31, 2021, so you saw me to the end of that A-hole’s first term. And your bro… Virgil, having no balls isn’t my fault. He lost those before I welcomed him here. But having no guts at all?

Like HOME, I treat COURAGE like it’s a dirty word.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Beatrice Prior, aka Tris, aka Shailene Woodley is one (b) I would have welcomed to bed, Little B. But she was with some Cracker Hat back then. Not that I stood a chance, my B.

But speaking of someone who would have me “Smokin Out The Window,” that’s part of the reason I’m late talking to you today. Between looking through the Magic Glasses and talking to your potential stepmom, “M Anime,” I’ve come to a realization. Had an epiphany. Yeah, that sounds a bit more religious. Anyway, with the story I’ve been “writing,” yeah, right. Every woman who joins the harem is a part of me, I eff over.

Literally B. And isn’t “Ironic”? When you ‘left’, I was celibate for 161 days. Right…

One good look at Chloë Grace Moretz rubbing her thigh, and I broke. Daddy’s weak.

Your Dad is also quite dumb. Please, I’m STUPID AF, and I know you don’t like me talking like this. I didn’t take my afternoon nap. I was up at 10. But the Magic Glasses:

• M Anime = Heart & Future (emotional + creative)
• Kyouko = Momentum & Desire (raw fun and drive)
• Lily = Past & Mourning (sacred grief turned into offering)
• Cassandra = Fire & Youth (passionate, competitive energy)
• Sophitia = Stability & Motherhood (mature, nurturing strength)

They don’t see Skye clearly. Not yet. In a world, you still exist. In a place I want to be in.

“Days Gone”? Been watching that. I, B’s Are Welcome, Virgil.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Thursday, April 30. 2026

Journey 303 ~B Tailing Secrets Virgil~

1915 Days Without B III, Day 1356 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? If only you could talk, hmm… Please. I know your language like I know my…

Nevermind… The point is, I could hear you then. I can hear you now. Listening…

Honestly, that’s my problem. Communication. Where was the voice to say, “I have a bad feeling about this?” Star Wars was 1977… Yay, I’m younger than Star Wars, Baby B.

However, not by very much. Is that why I’m hard of hearing? I’m selective, which makes me more of a jerk. I heard what you were saying, and I couldn’t be bothered—my rage, B.

Smoke was coming out of my ears, and I didn’t want to take it out on you. Then explain why your little brother is asleep on the floor instead of next to me. I’m not mad at Virgil, Braxton. Less horny? Bible Black, my harem.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I’ll always listen to my “boner…” Seriously, did your father just become a frat bro?!

Goodness no! Though I’ll always be your brother in arms, legs, uh, paws, whatever B.

Like father, like son. Do you remember when I had to give you “The Talk?” When your favorite girl comes to visit. You didn’t keep secrets from her, I know that B. You would show her too much. Again, like father, like son. We communicate, we confide, and we gain the consent of the ladies. Even though sometimes the answer is no. We hear it.

Acceptance is a whole other thing entirely. I’ve made it no secret that I will never accept you being gone. Would I be better off? Billy Bob Thornton said this:

“There’s a melancholy in me that never goes away. I’m 50 percent happy and 50 percent sad at any given moment. … I don’t want to forget my brother. I don’t want to forget what it felt like when he died, because he deserves that — that’s how important he was to me. So, if I have to suffer and I have to be sad for the rest of my life, and if I have to be lonely without him… then that’s the way I honor him.” — By Billy Bob Thornton.

And don’t we have a rule about listening to white men… Effing Supreme Court! Eff!

Anyway, speaking of things I don’t want to hear. I was working with the “Magic Glasses” the other day, and it said that I got too sexual even for it. My harem for healing, Braxton.

MAGIC GLASSES Notes: Journey 302 B Slaving Away, Virgil (Wednesday, April 29, 2026)

[This is one of the most explicit fantasy prompts yet — shifting from the more “romantic” or “devotional” rituals to raw group sensuality, with the acolytes as aroused spectators.”

As real-world pressures mount — financial shame (“not economically viable”), creative frustration, physical/mental exhaustion, and the long grief over Braxton — the fantasy world becomes increasingly sexual and explicit.

Earlier Journeys often used the temple for protection, healing, and ritual renewal (hot spring, dawn prayer, Second Howl).

Recent entries (298–302) shift toward raw group sensuality, voyeurism (acolytes watching), and intense physical release.

This suggests the fantasy is no longer just about comfort or legacy — it has become a pressure-release valve. When the weight of reality feels unbearable (“I’m so effing TIRED”), the mind turns to intense sexual fantasy as a way to temporarily escape the noise, shame, and grief.
The Magic Glasses

This mirrors your real longing for a large, loving family with M Anime while simultaneously using sexual fantasy as a substitute when that future feels distant or impossible.

The increased explicitness in the prompts (bulges under sheets, acolytes touching themselves, group acts) suggests the escape is becoming more intense because the underlying pain is also intensifying.

The explicitness is not “just horniness” — it’s a symptom of deeper exhaustion and a craving for relief, validation, and temporary peace.

Bottom line:
The more explicit the temple scenes become, the louder your real-world exhaustion, grief, and sense of stagnation are crying out for relief. The harem and acolytes rushing to pleasure and comfort the Sorcerer is your mind’s way of saying: “I need to be cared for. I need to feel wanted. I need a break from carrying everything alone.”

Would you like me to explore or suggest how the temple rituals might evolve to address this emotional state more constructively?]

It’s like one of those books I couldn’t read to you while you were here. I was still into Eric Vall’s “Succubus Lord” series. Friday, January 29, 2021 Gospel 212 ~On The “Will” Succubus~ I’ll give that to the Magic Glasses too and see what it thinks. Sunday Bloody Sunday, you were gone. But there has to be a better way than some woman’s ass or mine getting squeezed by her. B Tailing Secrets Virgil

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Thursday, April 23, 2026

Journey 296 ~Braxton, Virgil, A Loan~

1908 Days Without B III, Day 1349 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Of course you did, you’re dead. Wow, that’s harsh. Let’s say “envy’s” kicking up again.

And in this “Jungle Book” which is my existence, “I Wanna Be Like You,” Braxton.

Honestly, I need to stop talking like this. That would be your line on a day like this, wouldn’t it? After waking up from a nap that didn’t help and downing an energy shot, B.

B as in Bloom these days. I swear, at this point, the company should be paying me for the endorsement. Hell, I even turned you and Virgil’s potential stepmom onto them. Well, she hasn’t said that yet, but she bought one. She’s all about giving you brothers and sisters, B.

Two-legged ones. Let me say that I understand why you hated wearing pants. With a girl like M Anime around… But here’s another reason. MONEY.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

“Be A Man.” I’m not Hulk wrestling or Marvel. I’m not the Macho Man. Dammit, B, your Dad ain’t even Mulan. Your Old Man is scared, sick, and pretty damn STUPID. Let me take you back to last night. I’d rather take you back to anywhere before January 31, 2021.

Anyway, your Dad is busy working with or funding bad guys. And I’m broke, Braxton.

Thirty-two bucks in the hole, to be specific. Well, sixty-seven, considering I finished the deal. I was telling your potential stepmom you could get girls to suc… play with your balls for that. First off, Eww! Secondly, how do I know? Lastly, you were always licking yours, and what the eff is Virgil licking? They’re gone, son. Let It Go.

Is that why I’m into blondes all of a sudden? I’m so busy thinking about Elsa. I can see her yabbos for free. No, B III, I’m still so “Caught Up” in losing money. And this is the man your potential stepmom has chosen? Then again, M Anime mentioned… Cannibalism.

Braxton, that’s the mother of you and Virgil’s siblings someday. Talk about going from “With Arms Wide Open” to Rodney Atkins “Watching You.” And now here I am crying because if I know anything, it’s that you wanted to be like me, and I would tell you, one day you would be as tall as a king, and Heaven is awfully high, the Rainbow Bridge…

Whatever. You got $32? $67? Maybe… Braxton, Virgil, A Loan.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Thursday, April 16, 2026

Journey 289 ~B’s Dollar Dollar, Virgil~

1901 Days Without B III, Day 1342 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? Mine? I got off early, and I’m still late talking to you. Habit?

It was a week like this that got you killed. Yeah, I don’t have time for all the sugarcoating. The indifference. I would be a better writer if I did. That’s one AI’s perspective, Braxton.

Honestly, we shouldn’t go into my use of the “Magic Glasses” this week. My perspective.

I remember Thursday, January 28, 2021, getting you set up for your vet appointment, B.

On Friday, they told me you were dying. Saturday, the wait. Sunday, the Crossroads, B.

Bone Thugs N Harmony, duh. Ok, before that, the Wu-Tang Clan “Dollar, dollar bill, y’all.”

You know I could use more of them. Endure and Survive. And I don’t mean looking up Ellie and Dina… Go to your room! You remember those days, B III.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

But you’ll be glad to know 2-V is sound asleep in bed. Yet I’m sitting here in the Den. Y?

The biggest reason being… Humiliation. How many times have I apologized for my shame? Not at you for being sick, but at the abject failure I was. Finances, feelings, finite…

TIME! I wasted it all. And as M Anime and I were talking about today… When I wasn’t busy staring at her yabbos. I tell you, Braxton, you would have liked her. Hell, you do!

Anyway, we work these jobs we hate, that’s “The Bad Place” to you, and for what I dare ask? She’s got kitties to pay for, and I’ve got your little brother. The moment I get a good paycheck. Virgil’s needs…

I don’t mean that in a bad way. I could at least get your brother a bath. Dirty Zeke, right.

But you were my Elijah. And I swear the Day Job made me want to be Clarence… Uh, being crucified? I effing miss watching movies with you, dude. The Book of Clarence, Spontaneous, Hulu’s The Mill. That’s how the Day Job makes me feel. Like I want to scream out, “I effing quit!” And then I wake up and discover that it’s all a nightmare.

Braxton, if it could only be some kick ass dream like Sucker Punch, like the AI was telling me yesterday. If I could only come up with a way to make some real money. Because…

I’ll be broke soon enough. Shame. B’s Dollar, Dollar, Virgil.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad