Tag: Wedding

Chronicle 362 ~How Fatherhood Should B~

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Father’s Day was over a week ago, but I’m time traveling… (19th). The hard part of my day is over… Texting my father. The hardest part? Missing my son. And between PetSmart and what I pay ladies, I ain’t sleeping with? “How Fatherhood Should B,” NOT

Tuesday, June 28, 2022

Chronicle 362 ~How Fatherhood Should B~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but without family? You know how I wrote Rule #13, “Power Is All That Matters.” Love?

Well, you know I could delve into my many playlists. “What is Love?” Or how about “Power of Love.” “What’s My Age Again?” Ok, I’ll stop. Don’t feel much like celebrating anyway. Father’s Day was like what, nine days ago. Or today counting time traveling? Hell! It could be. It could happen. And speaking of which, could I ever be the Daddy I once was. I will instead be the one who’s crying than our children. They don’t have to know. Tears are tears. I can only hope I’m the type of Daddy they want to spend time with. I don’t want to be a man that can expect some far-off text because it’s a holiday. Braxton could never say Happy Father’s Day to me.

But I would feel it. B was/is my firstborn, my son. And I was his Dad. Is this what fatherhood would be like? I didn’t know until it was. Only my rules; that Love Power. Would I be one to clean up after Braxton? A little different with two-legged children. Inevitable though. Like sharing music, movies, and a few manuscripts. Someday they’ll understand what B III meant to me. To be how I used to be. But always their Dad. And I didn’t know if I would be any good at it until Triple B showed me how. You would think it’s the other way around. My father got better at it when it came to my sister. Would I? Against All Odds, My Love.

Because that’s what fatherhood should be? B was never a Dad, but he was the best man I’ve ever known. And if we could have sons who loved as such. Daughters who accepted nothing less. For a time now, I’ve been thinking, if B comes back or there’s his sister? Either way, I’m getting the sign that I should be the man I was when it came to him, Love. Minus the indifference, wrath, and depression. The thing that killed B and then after, ok. I keep repeating myself, but you’ve heard me say that fatherhood is the epitome of manhood. And I am a Daddy, but I’m so much more as it comes to us. You’ll show me. But Braxton? How Fatherhood Should B

Gospel 362 ~Though Routine, War Never Changes~

513 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 355 ~To B A Friend~

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Truth, I don’t have any guy friends. I mean that outright know, see every day, etc., I’ll serve as an alibi when they start making their daughters’ boyfriends vanish. As far as my own kids… I was/am B’s father, but he was also my BFFF. To B A Friend.

Tuesday, June 21, 2022

Chronicle 355 ~To B A Friend~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but to buy a friend? I don’t have many friends. How many groomsmen did I have?

Triple B, of course, would have been my best man. What? He likes big heaps of food. Bigger Yabbos. And with the biggest mouth I’ve ever seen, he wouldn’t find a ring the least bit appetizing. Next to our family, he’s the only one to score 21 Blackjack scale-wise. Now how did that happen? Love at first sight? The only time you’ll hear me say that about a guy. Well, next to us having a boy as well. I could give you many examples of B being my friend. The one I always go to love, a million times over, him watching me sleep. But when did we become friends? Was it even my choice? Braxton had four people and ended up choosing me. What!

Now you baby girl could have any man on the planet. Hell! Any woman on earth too. So how and why did you choose me? Should I ask such a question with… um, my life? Love with everything, I should get back into the swing of things because I have no idea how I could do this again. Not that I would want to. I fall in love, we get married, and that’s that. Always and forever. I can’t say it was how I was raised, but it’s what I’ve always believed. So you’d never have to worry about me making friends with women, ha. Hell! Braxton was/is my only guy friend. I call Carolina his Aunt for a reason. Cherry, M Anime, pretty but…

Let me keep digging the hole I’m in, right. “Running Up That Hill,” as the song goes. Or as the kids are saying these days. I want our kids to see me as their father, friend, and favorite parent. Okay, that last one is asking too much. When it comes to my Olds… I’ll always love my momma, but we’re not friends. Are you seeing why B III’s so important? And to think I could go out and find such a friend again in this life. But I found you. And I’ll never take that for granted, my love. But haven’t I? I need to be a better friend, hmm. Be more like Braxton, who hated everybody? Like father, like son. To B A Friend.

Gospel 355 ~Adaptation… Compromise, Adapt Or Die~

506 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 096 ~Something New, Something B~

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I want to say that dogs are much easier than women. With B, until his dying day, it was “Get in the car, Braxton.” How much of that is offensive, if any? Anyway, he was mine the moment my Olds moved. “Something New, Something B,” Not looking for love

Tuesday, October 5, 2021

Chronicle 096 ~Something New, Something B~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but this isn’t Futurama. Of the Pop Culture I’m into, this isn’t one. But “Seymour Asses?”

No, I’m not talking about work. As much as I would like to show you all that I do… Hell, I know you like it. I’m more of a Dennis Hof and his dog Domino sort of guy, Baby Girl. Only, Love my heart hasn’t been anywhere near my business in quite some time 247 Day. Braxton’s death, I know. How many dogs do I know that have met their end some way? Braxton wasn’t any dog. He’s My Son. Fifteen years. Longer than the despised Day Job. My love, longer than I’ve known you, which isn’t the smartest thing to say, honest. Dearest, are you going to go out and get a new husband? Okay, so I’m sounding like an ass at the moment, but what else is new?

Nothing else. Every Saturday, I walk into PetSmart and realize I’m a selfish bastard. One who walked out without his son on January 31st. Hate, Stupidity, Fear, even more. Even when getting pet emails too. There’s no room for more paperwork or new dog treats. Braxton’s are running out. Some new collar, leash, bedding. Hell B III’s room remains B III’s room. Braxton’s home exists. I don’t want to go back to mowing the lawn, so there’s a play area. Um, I do it for our kids, but they aren’t running the length of the fence barking at any neighbors. Uh, how do I know? Me leaving my Study would be something new. I left my Olds a new man, a father. I walked from the altar with you. Somethings.

Someone, my Little B, isn’t replaceable. You Baby Doll, our family, I’m hoping myself In Your Eyes. I can’t imagine another woman walking towards me to be my wife ever. Humans are what we are. Yeah, I look for my phone how many times a day and to get a new one. I remember panicking when I thought I had lost my pendant with Braxton’s ashes. The same with taking off a wedding band. What kind of man does that? Somethings mean forever or darling the feelings behind them. Love You and Me always and forever. Happiness and grief; before Braxton died, I would say the heart gets bigger. Without him, it’s like love’s bleeding out. I need more or healing. Something New, Something B

247 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Log 302 ~Willing DJ Or Band~

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I haven’t heard a fat lady sing, so this life isn’t over yet… I don’t think so, but to be fair, I haven’t been listening to music lately. Don’t have to block people at work and need to be on guard at Walmart. “Willing DJ Or Band,” my future

Tuesday, April 28, 2020

Log 302 ~Willing DJ Or Band~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I burned through my songwriting long ago. Also, I owe my Granddad a hundred bucks, but he said, and I quote, “I don’t know you.” The feeling is mutual, so one less person invited to our wedding. Last week I spoke some about parties and what is a wedding but a celebration of love? As always, I remain a traditionalist so short of a church I want everything a wedding entails. Yeah I’m short groomsmen, My Dæmon is my Best Man, I got my Mom and my sister. Yet here I’m wondering DJ or Band.

The isolation isn’t getting to me but more the lack of music. I’m always listening to something, or so I thought. With no people to block out and nowhere to go well, those voices are fading away. If I want to be sad, here’s a song God Help The Outcasts. Okay, is this going to be a list of my favorite songs? Considering I want to spend my life with you, that will take forever. Still, while I’m on the subject of weddings. I told you about how I still regret not dancing with Indiana Gone at her wedding. Somehow though, I imagine dancing with you on the road to “Drunk On You.” If you asked me to pick our wedding song, though? I’m like a mixture of Howard and Yuri Orlov when it comes to manipulating events. So um, do you want to watch Containment (Katie and Jake) “This Love” or YouTube (Katie and Jake) “If I Lose Myself.”

Okay, back to writing before I start crying; real love songs make me cry Baby Girl heh. I wrote a year’s worth of poetry and added Ellie Goulding’s song “Love Me Like You Do.” Writing is my first love, my firstborn, my second, and you Baby Doll. “You’re My Latest, My Greatest Inspiration.” What about my novel, though, The Eve of a Cherry? Moondust (Stripped) by Jaymes Young, this song is so us when I’m writing. With all those, I love this in one-line, “I’ve buried my love to give the world to you.” The song that explains me and my writing the most though comes from Tupac’s Ghetto Gospel:

“If I upset you don’t stress, never forget
That God isn’t finished with me yet
I feel his hand on my brain
When I write rhymes I go blind and let the Lord do his thang” ― Ghetto Gospel, Tupac

Yeah, I’m weird to take a road trip with, right? So what about the question… lightsaber duel, poetry reading but music, Willing DJ Or Band.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 111 ~Will In The 1500s~

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I’m living in another time as another man, and don’t ask me about 1500 unless you’re talking about the miles traveled in two days of my life, but where does one even find the time. “Will In The 1500s,” and more

Sunday, October 20, 2019

Log 111 ~Will In The 1500s~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but would that be enough to fix you? Will, there are so many things I want to say right now. I understand, though, you are exhausted after your journey. Now before you go bawling your eyes out as per usual, I want you to know something. I’m proud of you. I want you to see all that you have accomplished before you let something like SOL get you down. From Thursday to right here and now, who would have thought you were capable? Fuck your feelings (LANGUAGE); let’s deal with facts, don’t we always.

You traveled over 1500 miles total, here to Rockford. Will you crossed paths with people from all walks of life. In a strange city, with only one friend, “The Bride” you went about, well not living. Do you see how quickly negatively enters? Anyway, you went to a wedding. Instead of being embarrassed and yes there was a bit of that, you regret not dancing. You finally hooked up that dashboard, smartphone holder for the trip back. How many of your fears did you look square in the eye and say, “Bring It On.” You found the strength you never knew you had, and you pushed forward. Not to say that the trip wasn’t without losses, but even now, you’re making a plan. Tomorrow you’ll bring your Firstborn back to the house. Alas, there’s always this Will Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Firstborn Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Going To Survive The Week
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”
    Failed

Number Five, the most significant accomplishment, you’re not dead. Okay, let’s bring on the misery. Everything you brought for two days, and you’re upset with losing a damn shirt. It was your favorite NaNoWriMo T-Shirt, but still. Hell, how many traffic laws did you break on all those highways? You wouldn’t get up on time, and searching for a loss shirt made you later than getting to Rockford. The house doesn’t look ransacked, but you would know everything about hiding things. Even now, we’re still talking, and what time is it now? I could go on forever and a day about things you did wrong, or more like think you did. It’s all in the past. Don’t worry; I won’t ask you to look up the 1500s. You’re no longer a history buff except when oh yeah Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Firstborn Deserves
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Reducing My Inbox To Zero
  6. I AM Finishing “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”

Again I’m so proud, but you’re still worried about 1500 problems that could happen. There’s Past, Present, and Future but ending, Will In The 1500s.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 104 ~What Paper WILL Do~

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Every day I ask myself what I want to write tomorrow; I suppose that’s why my blog is no good, too busy living in the past, and the future, but hell, I was up at six, and only my furry kid is next to me. “What Paper Will Do?”

Sunday, October 13, 2019

Log 104 ~What Paper WILL Do~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I’m never going back again. Neither are you, being that boy who thought $200.00 was enough. Hell for $300.00, you wanted a little ass and nice tits. Will that was only eight years ago, and you know what you’ve feared ever since. Just takes two little words, “you’re fired.” One more reason you’re a writer, you’ve seen what the right paper can do with the wrong words. The right paper, the right time, but the wrongest words possible. Is Negan a suitable role model these days?

Anyway, after those school days were done, why should you fear any writing? Let’s start with how you ended last night, the Governor, aka Fandom Spotlite correcting me about Fair Use. If anything, I’m ashamed I sounded like Trump both not knowing or straight-up lying. Now I brought up school, and grades didn’t lie. Yes, you know you can’t live in the past, but that’s the thing. I go walking into a store, and still, people look at me “strange,” and then they have to speak. STUPID is still a dirty word and FAILURE is worst than Fuck (LANGUAGE). Of course, we have this list of six impossible things that you look at every single week. It never goes away, and even now, you wonder what you’re going to do now. Well, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Firstborn Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Preparing For Indiana Gone’s Wedding
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”
    Failed

Number five for the win and the bare minimum. It’s no secret even now you’re a scrooge and still so hoity-toity. Grandma might have had a point about your pride. Make no mistake; you deserve five-stars. Nevertheless, you’re willing to settle for three, Courtyard By Marriott. Now you’ll go for two as green paper trumps reviews. Again you could be wrong because your comfort is one thing but spare no expense for your Firstborn. Why not bring him along than leaving him with strangers? The place could have five stars and still wouldn’t be good enough for him. On the other side, you have never succeeded in being the father he deserves. Every piece of paper has called you a failure or the person writing is a liar. Only you are with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Firstborn Deserves
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Going To Survive The Week
  6. I AM Finishing “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”

I know what I want from you. Will, you know what you want from yourself. It’s never a secret, it’s here and black and white. You understand the power above everything What Paper Will Do.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 097 ~To Trip Up Will~

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One foot in front of the other or let’s say burn rubber but not your soul: sometimes I wish I had a motorcycle, but this is coming from a man that never learned how to ride a kid’s bike and now road trip “To Trip Up Will.” Hm

Sunday, October 6, 2019

Log 097 ~To Trip Up Will~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you could use a private jet. At least you’re honest about things like this. Unlike those that preach their own Prosperity Gospel. One of the things that trip you up as a businessman, you don’t lie. How many times, did I mention Dennis Hof last week? Anyway, either he told the truth, or he said nothing.

First things first, you have to start getting ready for “Indiana Gone’s Wedding.” Here’s a confession, you’ve never taken a road trip before. What about this one to your Firstborn? He’s not coming along. Now, this will be the second time you’ve left him, and the first wasn’t voluntary. You don’t lie, and the reason you had to leave him was because of THEM. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Only yesterday, well today (Saturday), I was talking about the things that get me into trouble. One chat with those people, and everything was gone. You’re scared to death about going to this shindig. Still, Indiana Gone is like a sister to you and your Firstborn’s aunt or godmother. It’s an adventure, like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 041 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” B III Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Gaining One Patron Or One Model For Patreon
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing Again, The Art of the Pimp: One Man’s Search for Love, Sex, and Money
    Completed

Yes, sitting at one, but that’s not hard to say. What about this, my beef with Suicide Prevention. Long story short, grandma died, and my “father” said I was going to the funeral. You starved yourself for three days before seeking out help. The police show up. Well, what happened next SIGH. You’re spending two months and change at roach-infested InTown Suites (SHUDDERS). Hell if you didn’t want to die before and of course there’s more to that story. You learned a lot of lessons, but no, you weren’t born but somehow tripped into life.

I didn’t mean to be so depressing, but the point of all this is the starting line. Will this is the first trip you have chosen to take. Every other trip has been an accident of some kind. From the job, you fell into, to the work that some would see you hell-bound. How your Firstborn won’t allow you to fall ever. What about the 98%? You can’t trust your Olds, your managers, A&W, potential models, anyone else? No wonder you spend most of your life on your knees. For damn sure you’re of no service to god. Only Will, you got Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” B III Deserves
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Preparing For Indiana Gone’s Wedding
  6. I AM Finishing “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”

You’ll have to run and drive. To Trip Up Will

I Will Have No Fear