Log 104 ~What Paper WILL Do~

Every day I ask myself what I want to write tomorrow; I suppose that’s why my blog is no good, too busy living in the past, and the future, but hell, I was up at six, and only my furry kid is next to me. “What Paper Will Do?”

Sunday, October 13, 2019

Log 104 ~What Paper WILL Do~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I’m never going back again. Neither are you, being that boy who thought $200.00 was enough. Hell for $300.00, you wanted a little ass and nice tits. Will that was only eight years ago, and you know what you’ve feared ever since. Just takes two little words, “you’re fired.” One more reason you’re a writer, you’ve seen what the right paper can do with the wrong words. The right paper, the right time, but the wrongest words possible. Is Negan a suitable role model these days?

Anyway, after those school days were done, why should you fear any writing? Let’s start with how you ended last night, the Governor, aka Fandom Spotlite correcting me about Fair Use. If anything, I’m ashamed I sounded like Trump both not knowing or straight-up lying. Now I brought up school, and grades didn’t lie. Yes, you know you can’t live in the past, but that’s the thing. I go walking into a store, and still, people look at me “strange,” and then they have to speak. STUPID is still a dirty word and FAILURE is worst than Fuck (LANGUAGE). Of course, we have this list of six impossible things that you look at every single week. It never goes away, and even now, you wonder what you’re going to do now. Well, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Firstborn Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Preparing For Indiana Gone’s Wedding
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”
    Failed

Number five for the win and the bare minimum. It’s no secret even now you’re a scrooge and still so hoity-toity. Grandma might have had a point about your pride. Make no mistake; you deserve five-stars. Nevertheless, you’re willing to settle for three, Courtyard By Marriott. Now you’ll go for two as green paper trumps reviews. Again you could be wrong because your comfort is one thing but spare no expense for your Firstborn. Why not bring him along than leaving him with strangers? The place could have five stars and still wouldn’t be good enough for him. On the other side, you have never succeeded in being the father he deserves. Every piece of paper has called you a failure or the person writing is a liar. Only you are with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Firstborn Deserves
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Going To Survive The Week
  6. I AM Finishing “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”

I know what I want from you. Will, you know what you want from yourself. It’s never a secret, it’s here and black and white. You understand the power above everything What Paper Will Do.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 213 ~Fanging Innocence, Not Will~

Does the wolf ever smile, does Jason, I would be ever so much worse if I were Freddy, but I tend not to loiter on Elm Street, but a man will dream, and since I’m not grinding my teeth, this isn’t Hell but as for Heaven. “Fanging Innocence, Not Will.”

Wednesday, January 30, 2019

Episode 213 ~Fanging Innocence, Not Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, it’s not by grinding my teeth in the middle of the night (more like after work), eating fast food all the time, or growling at the whole world though indifference is worse and why fear monsters, when there are always people.

My first sin is wanting to be like other people, well no I have my preferences… being the lone wolf, giving in to primal urges, and should I even mention the “Harmonic War” that’s something I haven’t thought of in a long time. Jacob Black went rogue, chased a girl that didn’t “want” him” and dare I speak “waiting” for Renesmee… probably less of a sin than wanting his body; not like that, hell I see plenty of that in erotica, and I’m not gay or skeevy, thank “The Hostage” I do mean the novel.

Let my second sin, please be that I couldn’t control my temper, punched a wall, a locker, and kicked a chair, you know, when I think I’m getting over my “aversion” for other black people, leave it to my general manager or a “stone” girl to bring back my rage. No blood from stones THEY say but is the innocent any better… Chloë Grace Moretz; beautiful, beastly, biting, might explain my mouth now, you think?

So is a third sin not thinking before I speak, zombies aren’t supposed to talk, no we only feed on the living, and for some that means brains, and even now I look at myself as being too good for that, still not writing my review of Depredation By Natalie Bennett. Now the body one more reason I want an apocalypse, a purge, a plethora of DVDs from The Innocence Of Youth collection, or the Vault Girls, little words and I have such a big mouth apparently, and my will…

No, that’s huge, my fourth sin is my pride, I think of how my grandmother would say I was full of it, and how whenever I got into trouble I expected to get away with it because I was small, silly, something no one could be bothered with, no wonder I looked for the big crimes. What is it about such a need for attention that people willingly destroy themselves or go looking for reasons to annihilate beauty, brains, and bucks, it’s almost as if we’re under a witch’s spell, so am I afraid now?

Always and never because people create monsters, werewolves, vampires, zombie’s and witches to hide their true selves but of course it’s people who are the best monsters and what am I Inspector Echo, only a man asking for forgiveness, but my “fangs” say it all; no Fanging Innocence, Not Will

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 014 ~Privacy Concerns Of Pride~

Pride is energizing while humiliation is exhausting and I got more than a dose staring into all of those mirrors today or was it the panic attack; I haven’t known such fear since watching “stuff,” on my “father’s” computer. Privacy Concerns Of Pride.

Sunday, July 15, 2018

Episode 014 ~Privacy Concerns Of Pride~

To Will:
Give Me One Reason to feel PRIDE, and I have 38,990 words for it, I put my mind to it, and though I was a tiny bit late with each day I didn’t give up, I didn’t ever give up, but Saturday honestly sucked. How’s the start of your week, last week it was all about names and you couldn’t remember one girl’s name standing right in front of you, how about the Panic Attack you had reading about your responsibilities and bravo changing your schedule and leaving it on your boss’s desk.

I don’t mean to be such a dick and speaking of which today you have to do something about yours; over one hundred days made you hungry, a hunter, hardcore, and you toss it all away on some mom’s mammaries? Too Much Information TMI as the kids say but the thing is what I’m most proud of I believe is crap but I got it done even if nobody sees it but that’s what we do every day. The stuff you did today was all failures, “success in progress” and even if nobody sees this the fact has you put it out there for you, in hopes that you can be better like Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Failed (Day 001)
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
Failed, Yard Needs Cutting, Punishments, Bath Time
3. I Will Visit The Library The Entire Week
Completed
4. I Will Complete 50% Of “Legacy of Succession” by Anna Edwards
Completed
5. I Will Post A Review For “The First Purge”
Failed
6. I Will Write For “Apocalypse Rush” Nine Thousand Words Minimum
(Total 24,400) Completed (38,990)

Knocks me down a peg or two, fifty percent is an F if I’ve ever seen one and at this rate 99 1/2 won’t do; you have to head straight to the top, you are not meant to be live like this, and it’s time, to be honest. Funny how humiliating it was to barge into other people’s business today, housekeeping and all, I remember how sick I was using the bathroom there, but the point has you put yourself out there all the time, your hopes, dreams, and beliefs. How about women, how much time do you have for that, if you can put one in her place that will be enough for this week, well no, in fact, I expect more from you as always Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Tell Off “Zibby” If She Calls Me Out My Name (Liberal Arts)
4. I Will Not Get Fired
5. I Will Post A Review For “The First Purge”
6. I Will Complete “Apocalypse Rush” (50,000 Words)

I am proud of you Will that you survived today despite everything, you many consider today an act of cowardice, and I’m always saying have no fear, and you continue to believe it. As the song goes, “it seems to me that maybe, it pretty much all ways means no” and if your boss doesn’t hear so good well yell out as you did today, “Housekeeping” because it’s time you did that in your life despite Privacy Concerns Of Pride.

Do Your Worse Because I’m The Man Or I Hope…

I Will Have No Fear

Cat Man, Black Man, Wow

Wakanda Forever, to think I’m a black man that doesn’t like my people most of the time but this movie was a fun time in every sense. Though I am not one of the blind followers, but who’s reading, just see Black Panther. “Cat Man, Black Man, Wow”

I’m not sure there is enough praise, from astounding to zen-like for Black Panther and I choose wow. How could I do this movie justice and would it not be adding my admiration to the chorus of so many others? I could also go for all the drama and ideology from some regarding this movie and let me start by saying that just being an African American man has nothing to do with it and I can’t call myself a comic book nerd, just saying.

If anything as much as Chadwick Boseman and Michael B. Jordan did in this movie, you have to give it up for the ladies; sexy, seductive, and sensational, and personally, I’m having a hard time deciding between Lupita Nyong’o as Nakia and Letitia Wright as Shuri. Bring everybody to see this kid-friendly but enough to keep a grown man on the edge of his seat not to mention all of the stunningly beautiful visuals. As for the “Tolkien White Guys,” they were superb as well though there is one significantly glaring aspect that I think everyone is ignoring but what can I say Wakanda Forever.

Okay Fandango has been appeased so let me get a little more real with the rest of you, first and foremost I’m not your typical black guy, the only other Chadwick Boseman film I’ve seen is Marshall, and that’s because I got free tickets. I saw Captain America: Civil War because of all the hype surrounding it but Black Panther I’ve been excited about since the announcement came around. I don’t find myself agreeing with “my people” half the time, my whole life I haven’t been black enough but that’s another story, and finally, Black Panther gets one of his own, nearly devoid of other heroes, end credits, stay put.

Again there were plenty of heroes in the whole life of Wakanda, dare I say one too many maybe but I’m getting to that, but in all, I’m proud both as an African American, a Marvel fan, and just a moviegoer, I saw it twice. In case you’ve been under a rock, Black Panther is the story of the newly crowned king of the futuristic African nation Wakanda, T’Challa/Black Panther.

That right there blew me away which is indeed a sad fact, since the reason we want kids to go out and see this movie is the portrayal of positive black role models and showing a side of Africa even fictional that shows greatness and nobility. It’s a thin line considering how depictions of Africa are often but to add this incredible sci-fi universe and continue to embrace the traditions of the people and continent, incorporating all of it together.

As I am with the ladies, which battle I found more epic has me split. The ritual fight scenes and environments, yes CG but it didn’t matter I was mesmerized, and those fights might have been more incredible than Black Panther’s suit no offense. The Casino scene though, a great battle but just the idea of three black individuals and not that it hasn’t shown up before but T’Challa, Nakia, and Okoye just pounding away on a bunch of criminals, no suit, no guns, and no freaking mercy. Now the final fight and oh yes spoiler alert that’s what took me out of the movie a bit though and I can’t say this enough, but it was astounding and with a humorous moment or two.

There was plenty to laugh at most of the jokes were on point, maybe one or two just today’s pop culture such as “what are those” and the video Shuri was recording that you know would end up on YouTube. I think I’m starting to decide more on Shuri now, funny, intelligent, hot as Hell, though I know many women will side more with Danai Gurira/Okoye for her strength, I swear is there anything that Danai Gurira can’t do, guns, swords, spear, etc. I can’t leave the quiet moments out with Angela Bassett/ Ramonda/Queen Mother trying to protect both of her children Shuri and T’Challa or how about Daniel Kaluuya/ W’Kabi, Winston Duke/ M’Baku, there was not one single bad performance in this film honestly.

There were lessons to, that I think some might miss based only on race, for example, Wakanda’s policies reminded me of this America First mentality, and that the youth can and will lead, and how can one man be free if all men are not free. Personally, I saw myself siding with Erik Killmonger for most of the film, maybe he didn’t have the best ideas to “save the world,” but he made his points.

Now, this is where the rubber meets the road I have two facts that need to be made clear, the first isn’t so terrible but the second is going to make a lot of people mad like that’s anything new. Just know I truly enjoyed this film, I plan on getting it as soon as it’s available, hell speaking of points I could see it (without 3D) for free, and I paid twice. Also if you don’t want any spoilers, time to turn away and I might make someone mad.

My first point which isn’t much, black on black violence, a usual talking point for the alt-right and no I’m not talking about the ritual combat which I found to be exhilarating, heroic, and noble; I mean the civil war. In a movie that has brought about so much black unity in reality, that showed 4 out of five tribes in Africa united there still was a war, Black Panther and Killmonger were one thing, but again it’s demonstrated that black people all over can’t get along because of our differences. Now King T’Challa at the United Nations pushed for unity across the globe which was one of the best lessons, but I wonder about the battle of the three tribes is it just forgotten?

Okay, the highest point is the final battle the objective was to keep Wakanda’s weapons from getting out, Black Panther had to reclaim the throne in the long run I understand, those that sided with Killmonoger needed to be defeated and hello ladies. The thing is who was stopping the weapons, who was “saving the world,” who risked himself and fulfilled the primary objective… survey says; Martin Freeman/ Everett K. Ross, the white man. Just once, just one freaking time I want any minority to save the world, to protect themselves without a white man playing the pivotal role, and I’m sure there is some movie that it’s happened but ladies and gentlemen this is not it, despite my praise.

Everyone was playing there role I understand Shuri wanting to fight alongside her brother, Nakia and her love, Okoye and her troops but seeing as how they left the Queen Mother, hell give Angela Basset something to do with it. In all a fabulous movie by Marvel, allow me to sound like a little kid and say I want to be Black Panther, okay more like Killmonger, so Wakanda Forever, Cat Man, Black Man, Wow.

Lesson 146 ~Staying In The Black~

Black all around us, I do mean words on the page, the time, along with my day job making all sorts of money because according to my paycheck I’m not in the slightest and yet I carry on with this farce of a book. “Staying In The Black” a while longer.

Friday, November 24, 2017

Lesson 146 ~Staying In The Black~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Tomorrow is another day, and I just don’t know, okay maybe I do know, but I don’t want to admit it, and I won’t give it words because I am so exhausted my fault of course besides work. As musical inclined as I am “Everyday I Write The Book,” and I’m nearly there if you can believe that; according to NaNoWriMo, I need an estimate of 2,200 words to finish on schedule and then what comes next.

I honestly have no idea, Lady Sophia, as it is most possibly the worse thing I have ever written and you know that’s saying a lot, not to mention I feel me and Dante Alighieri should have a conversation, seriously I feel half dead already. Should I be proud that I have given up nearly everything on this whim, that may never see the light of day, but that’s just it isn’t it, not just my life I am wasting anymore you know when you create characters and really when you know how people blather in everyday life incessantly. Am I indeed a coward, you’re damn right I am, but I am trying because with my story I am doing.

There was a movie that said I think when you save a life, you must take responsibility for it, the same as when you create a life, what sort of parent will I be, of course you know who to ask when it comes to that. If anything living is quite a cost, you pay with blood, sweat, and tears, and I could tell you plenty about that with everything that has happened this month, dammit I survived Black Friday and regardless of my wasted efforts, I have done what I set out to do at least for today. Maybe I shouldn’t worry so much about tomorrow, but you know me, so does “Indiana Gone,” and I can’t turn back now, I can’t give up, seriously Sophia I’m this close.

We’re talking six days, and there you have it, set life, yeah, I couldn’t say that with a straight face if I think this book is every going anywhere besides some long lost file right? It’s already so late, and you know tomorrow will be another long one which means getting up early, sad that waking up to my day job is how I am always Staying In The Black.

I Will Have No Fear