Log 152 ~Willing Cause For Occasion~

It doesn’t need to be noble, unique, or even a tragedy, I finished NaNoWriMo, and all I got is a YouTube video, so confetti, and a shirt I had to pay for but doing something like writing 50,000 words or getting out of bed. Willing Cause For Occasion.

Saturday, November 30, 2019

Log 152 ~Willing Cause For Occasion~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a billionaire right now, and you would think that would be enough. Yes, I have been listening to a lot of my motivations lately. If you recall last year or the year before, I got heavy into Fearless Motivation, Fearless Soul. I began “studying” Eric Thomas, Tom Bilyeu, and with this year Dale Carnegie. Now being honest, Lady Luna, I started reading and listening to him because of Dennis Hof. The thing is, with all of these works and teachers they require, Purpose, Discipline, and a Lack Of Sleep, SIGH.

Yesterday My Lady, I tried, and you know I’m always on the cusp of quoting Master Yoda. Anyway, I was reading, and when I began to read the same sentence twenty times in a row well. Now it’s not like I didn’t pay for it, I missed around a half-hour of wrestling. Don’t ask me what I ate for the last two nights? A bag of Goldfish crackers a kid left, six muffins, and four while I was in bed. There were two bags of sour gummy bears that I packed and two cookies. Is this what my life is worth, I ate Thanksgiving Dinner before working Black Friday and again I can’t stand my Day Job. So why do I try so hard at something I detest but do so poorly on things I enjoy. Yet last night, Brooke Logan plus Cherry. I’m still Family-Friendly SIGH; if you look any of those names up, you have only yourself to blame. I wish I could share, but I know better.

So as for today, why did I bother getting up at all? I mean, I got out of bed, put on my boots instead of my slippers, and then what? I played TWD so I could finish the Daily Challenge. My Dæmon has been outside and has eaten breakfast. I even made the bed today. I am stopping myself from crawling back in. I played some Pac Man; it’s been bothering me since seeing in at the Day Job. I counted up my savings, $625.00 since Indiana Gone’s Wedding. How I climbed in the shower this morning, is a miracle, besides being sore and my ear still hurting. Now I find myself talking to you. My whole point is with my motivations I need something to drive me, well, after NaNoWriMo. It’s not going to be Christmas, but staying on the cusp of survival or counting my sins, isn’t helping.

Life, Willing Cause For Occasion.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 151 ~Will’s Story Later On~

I want to tell you I got a solid eight hours of sleep if anything I want to start reading again and recounting what I learned at night, instead of going over old stories, and what about my life story? “Will’s Story Later On.”

Friday, November 29, 2019

Log 151 ~Will’s Story Later On~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now and a liar, I suppose. Today I’m not sure how many I told from being out of a particular product. How about that someone else will pick up a bunch of Barbie dolls. It could be the smile I had to wear. Never mind the one on feeling any better. Now Lady Sophia, I am a fiction writer, well not today, story over and done with yesterday. I should still sign in with NaNoWriMo, I owe them a lot, making it.

Bills are only stories of the people you owe. Don’t ask me where that came from Lady Sophia. I’ve said this before, but I still NEED to get Indiana Gone a Birthday gift and one for her Wedding. Money is the story of things you did. Well, that explains how little I’m paid or not at all. There’s also the fact that I’m not that proud of those things. My life to this point is, if anything, one long list of bad reviews. So you ask me can I do better and I spend one month attempting that. M Anime asked me to tell her the story about Indiana Gone’s Wedding. I couldn’t even share that story of love or my “COURAGE.” Still, I have plans to be that father who reads stories to his kids at night. Besides telling My Dæmon, I love him every time I leave the house; I can’t even say Good Morning to my “Pancake.”

What stories can I tell you then? Last year it was the ant invasion, this year it’s my ear being stopped up. It could be that my leg hurts as the Dæmon is sleeping on it still. I wasted the whole day napping because Black Friday sucks, and no, I wasn’t shopping. Like Carol from The Walking Dead, dealing with younglings is not my forte. Keeping track though I finished a 50,000-word book, neither is staying on task. I’m still watching TWD Reactions. I’m thinking about being “corrected” by Fandom Spotlite, aka The Governor. Do you know what I wished for this day? I wanted to start writing up bios, starting with the scientist from The “Wrist” Of Playing Chrono. Oh yeah, that’s another reminder that somebody tried to friend me on Facebook for my writing. But, I’ve lost followers.

Of course, that’s another story or Will’s Story Later On.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 141 ~Making Money Is Always Necessary~

One guy pimped women, another shared stories, and if you asked me what my dream job is, I’d like to combine the two, more so have a brothel of storybook heroines “Giggity,” but women want the guys on the covers. “Making Money Is Always Necessary

Monday, November 19, 2018

Episode 141 ~Making Money Is Always Necessary~

Fifty-Ninth Rule Madam Justice

How To Make One Million Dollars; the perfect question for this week but I can answer how not to, stacking boxes for four hours, hard-tagging shoes for a couple more, buying McDonald’s, and killing off what remains of the ant population both outside and in. On the other hand, somebody is making millions, billions probably not lifting a damn finger and my fingers today black keys, black “ants,” and perhaps being a black man is hard enough, but I don’t want to get all racial in this piece, how else does one Run This Town?

Didn’t somebody once say that it takes money to make money, not if you’re a woman; is today going to be a political issue; I need something with which to ignore the coming holiday known as Black Friday. Can you imagine the people we would be if money weren’t always the issue, perhaps it would be more so if I had plenty of it but I would trade the problems of never having enough for the single concept of wanting that much more? I think I’ve spoken plenty about what I would like to do to get it; I just put another 1800 words down for my novel titled Pay Two Plague. I still want to acquire a brothel, and why I don’t have the body, and a harem takes time, “B III’s” face could sell anything, the whole world loves him, okay this street.

So am I making any real plans, you know that despite writing down my goal every single day there are times I forget about it, I think it’s what they call, the forests for the trees, struggling for the day instead of September next year (goal date). I would honestly have something to celebrate because the most I have to look forward to this week would have to be free food and several others are looking at that with gratefulness in their hearts. I’m sure my pests are all kinds of grateful ha, and as for me, I am thankful. Mostly it’s that moment I’m leaving the day job, and I didn’t get fired, when I finish the bare minimum writing, for not having to live a few hours though I’m still breathing on my pillow, of course, Madam Justice.

I’ve said this before, that I wish I had the same drive that has me rushing out of the house for the day job in every other facet of my life but instead I’m like one of these little ants crawling, ingesting poison, watching other’s like me dropping, with some dark face glad for my demise. Someday I’ll stop talking about this, like Detroit: Become Human, NaNoWriMo is only a month and the worst day in store history will end but like The Purge *sigh* Making Money Is Always Necessary.

“If Purging really worked if everyone actually got better wouldn’t we stop needing it?” Penelope Guerrero, The Purge (TV Series)

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 140 ~Will Be Back Soon~

As the song goes, “shut’em down, open up shop,” that’s my life I need to abandon this farce and go for something else and ain’t I writing a book, probably storing energy for an uglier load of trash, Black Friday. Will Be Back Soon

Sunday, November 18, 2018

Episode 140 ~Will Be Back Soon~

To Will:
How To Make One Million Dollars, ignore everything that’s not making you money with of course the exception of writing and boy did I screw up there because I’m on time, that means I’m late. Speaking of which the day job, I wish I could go back to being the person that was early, the person that said yes to everything, hell the person that semi-okay and keep in mind this is the job you hate, a land of fear, and this week it will be a million times crazier with Black Friday.

Sometimes I wish I could find the place where I parted ways with happy, but that would only be opening myself up to let the world destroy me once again and do you think you could take another drop like that? I’ll say this much; I think you’re finally starting to rediscover that rage, and you should be mad at me, the General Manager, the population that claims one thing and spits out another. Much like you will continue to do because somebody has to mind the store, the bag of flesh you pretty much are for the moment to again keep up with NaNoWriMo and yeah Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
Failed
3. I Will Review Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
Failed
4. I Will Review Depredation By Natalie Bennett
Failed
5. I Will Finish Dancing In The Dark By T.L. Martin (Goodreads)
Failed
6. I Will Catch-Up Fully With My New Novel “NaNoWriMo Challenge”
Completed

Back to 17.5 F but I’m not patting myself on the back by any means and I know better than to ask you to bring us to some decent grade, this week the goal if anything is to survive and yet always striving for something better. No that’s for the heartless hinds then again Black Friday and all that’s honestly what you will be, not predator nor prey but cannon fodder wishing to rise no more. Yeah but you look like that now, pretty much like shit wanting nothing more than to be back in your bed or the shower if it didn’t look like a graveyard, like your writing these same Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Review Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
4. I Will Review Depredation By Natalie Bennett
5. I Will Finish Dancing In The Dark By T.L. Martin (Goodreads)
6. I Will Continue “NaNoWriMo” 12,600

All the things that you need to say and do, and already you are looking like an empty shell, giving everything to your son, the store, the story, and the sadness and there is nothing left for you is there; like this week however you know what the people will ask. Find it and you’re afraid that it won’t be there, that’s what this entire life feels like nowadays that you walked into a store at Closing Time, the midnight hour, Black Friday and everything is only a wreck, and the only wreath is the one on your tombstone that reads Will Be Back Soon.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 146 ~Staying In The Black~

Black all around us, I do mean words on the page, the time, along with my day job making all sorts of money because according to my paycheck I’m not in the slightest and yet I carry on with this farce of a book. “Staying In The Black” a while longer.

Friday, November 24, 2017

Lesson 146 ~Staying In The Black~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Tomorrow is another day, and I just don’t know, okay maybe I do know, but I don’t want to admit it, and I won’t give it words because I am so exhausted my fault of course besides work. As musical inclined as I am “Everyday I Write The Book,” and I’m nearly there if you can believe that; according to NaNoWriMo, I need an estimate of 2,200 words to finish on schedule and then what comes next.

I honestly have no idea, Lady Sophia, as it is most possibly the worse thing I have ever written and you know that’s saying a lot, not to mention I feel me and Dante Alighieri should have a conversation, seriously I feel half dead already. Should I be proud that I have given up nearly everything on this whim, that may never see the light of day, but that’s just it isn’t it, not just my life I am wasting anymore you know when you create characters and really when you know how people blather in everyday life incessantly. Am I indeed a coward, you’re damn right I am, but I am trying because with my story I am doing.

There was a movie that said I think when you save a life, you must take responsibility for it, the same as when you create a life, what sort of parent will I be, of course you know who to ask when it comes to that. If anything living is quite a cost, you pay with blood, sweat, and tears, and I could tell you plenty about that with everything that has happened this month, dammit I survived Black Friday and regardless of my wasted efforts, I have done what I set out to do at least for today. Maybe I shouldn’t worry so much about tomorrow, but you know me, so does “Indiana Gone,” and I can’t turn back now, I can’t give up, seriously Sophia I’m this close.

We’re talking six days, and there you have it, set life, yeah, I couldn’t say that with a straight face if I think this book is every going anywhere besides some long lost file right? It’s already so late, and you know tomorrow will be another long one which means getting up early, sad that waking up to my day job is how I am always Staying In The Black.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 145 ~The Bang Stops Here~

Don’t they know, it’s the end of the world… so what should they rather be doing in reality, how many people will die tonight looking for a gift; maybe this is why I have a dog but I want/need a wife too and the thing is… The Bang Stops Here

Thursday, November 23, 2017

Lesson 145 ~The Bang Stops Here~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
No Fear, it’s only the end of the world as I assume it is every day and for the majority of them, I can’t say I would be proud at the end… then again should I be proud of the things I tell you? Anyway, sitting here on the eve of Black Friday, I just wish I could take my mind off of it, hell if an asteroid was making its way here, I would want to roll off, or maybe just look up at it and smile as everything ends.

Achilles: “Go home, prince. Drink some wine, make love to your wife. Tomorrow, we’ll have our war.” ― Troy (2004)

Can you think of anything else you would rather be doing, if the world couldn’t be saved, standing on the edge of oblivion and annihilation, okay so maybe I’ve had an idea of standing on the front lines and fighting the good fight? At the end of the day though, literally I would just want to be with someone, preferably intimate but with as many times as I have contemplated suicide, and port in a storm as they say. Better a bang than a whimper because I’m all sorts of scared, how best for a man to die like a man, why not an act of love rather than one of hate or futility, a hope for life, not death?

Now have I dreamed up any scenarios about this, more often than not I plan on being the one to survive, offering young ladies shelter from “The Purge”, “The Walking Dead”, whatever ending life seems to have in store for us. If I were a family man I’d like one more night with my wife and then go out protecting them in a blaze of glory, hell even make it like “Twilight: Breaking Dawn” Edward and Bella… are you going to judge me on that one Diana? If I didn’t have anyone special and the world was over the rules would be no more rules and you know I have “Ravishment” fantasies but if it was someone special… which one excites me more you think?

To be the last one so close to someone, I would even go out in the ways of “Pompeii”, except Milo and Cassia only kissed, personally I wanted to say didn’t fuck but for once I’m not in the mood, Black Friday and all but if Chloë Grace Moretz happened to stop by this night well, The Bang Stops Here.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 140 ~Glass of Instant Smile~

Have you ever seen anything so sloppy and I only wish I could say I was on something which would just be something else to add to my long list of problems I have been having today but why didn’t I give up, at least not yet? “Glass of Instant Smile”.

Saturday, November 18, 2017

Lesson 140 ~Glass of Instant Smile~

Hey Lady Lu,
No Fear, no to everything else too, but instead of saying that you know what you do, put on a smile and even then people ask why are you so happy. Sometimes there just isn’t an answer, it’s like asking which plague is next and didn’t they get worse with each question, which each demand that comes.

So what’s wrong, Black Friday is up this coming week and I’m not ready; at least with The Purge I could defend myself but this is madness. Speaking of madness, what was I thinking to spend all that money on absolutely nothing, my glass of instant smile I figure but what has a smile ever gotten me and aren’t I sure I have asked that question before. NaNoWriMo is coming to a close soon and how much writing has there been, how much have I done today to help out with the ever-growing total required.

How about the fact that I can’t control my own body, I want to say stress or maybe I’m just a pervert, which of course never really bothers me until I get that “release”. On top of that, it would explain my depression today, after I wasted several hours doing nothing and then I fell asleep, didn’t even to take my 5-hour Energy today because I got so much sleep. Oh how about the fact that I lost the placebo effect because I drank some Powerade and then went to sleep, I really need to look up what that’s supposed to do if anything honestly.

Now, these all might sound like “First-World Problems” to practically nothing at all, makes you question why am I complaining to you at all right Lady Lu? What would “Indiana Gone” think of me, speaking of which she will be leaving February 24th so who else will I be watching movies with besides the dog?

Do I a Wambulance, if anything I need a life, but for some reason, I just can’t be like everyone else, and trust me I’m fighting, I’m trying, I’m pushing but for once there is neither fear nor hope. So what have I learned, as is “The Last of Us” endure and survive, grin and bear it, and maybe I should really consider drinking, Starbucks, more energy shot or maybe a Glass of Instant Smile?

I Will Have No Fear