Episode 279 ~Make Me Smile, Will~

Easy Street, that’s the perfect way to sum up my day, no day job shift, food in the fridge, and 2,600 words for my novel, and I’m not sleepy, as my motivations say, your purpose is the thing that stops time, so look at my face. “Make Me Smile, Will.”

Saturday, April 6, 2019

Episode 279 ~Make Me Smile, Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, bottle up this feeling I’m having right now. Dare I call it HAPPINESS. I was listening to this Brainbuddy recording the other day. It was talking about dopamine “pleasure” knowing control in the body. Now I’m no doctor, and that’s okay. Still considering everything that flows in and out of people. The moment I got to work and realized I didn’t have to stay today, wow.

Felt better than any orgasm, and when leaving work makes me feel like this? Talk about 7 Minutes In Heaven, The Rapture, or The Divine Comedy. A spiritual experience, never known in the church. This morning I was struggling to throw all the best I could at the universe. I did my “Morning Routine,” got some fresh air with B III, did the Law of Attraction hypnosis. Now I didn’t fall asleep per se; I set my alarms just in case. After all that, I was still fighting my emotions. About my day job, my “father,” life in general, it was touch and go there with NO FAP. My stress level was going all over.

So like I’ve been doing every day, my dominant positive thought has been “I Have A Million Dollars.” That’s it “I AM Rich,” “My bank account is full,” “There is more than enough.” Fighting off the bad vibes. As for today, my work shift got canceled. I didn’t have to see my “father” at all. I even had enough to get myself a treat. So do I take this as the Universe responding to my wishes? I AM grateful for this day. Triple B is staying healthy, my million has arrived, and more is coming. I got a good night’s rest. Let the Universe hear me; it’s on my side isn’t that right Lady Luna.

Yesterday was hard, so of course, I needed to do some significant asking. Yes at the end of “some” days, the good outweighs the bad. Only I choose to believe that a genie is watching my back. Um, I still admire Will Smith. Is there anything else that makes me want to smile today. How I imagined my bedroom, my private shower, having my home theater. There was a guy today who even said my car must run pretty fast.

No time machine but like Terminator 2 Judgement Day I face the future with hope; Universe, Make Me Smile, Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 231 ~The Last Smile Will~

Some people make plans of how they’ll change the world, I have to find ways to shrink, don’t smile, keep your hands busy so they don’t become fists, new playlists to keep me centered. The Last Smile because how did one so many years ago turn out

Sunday, February 17, 2019

Episode 231 ~The Last Smile Will~

To Will:
How To Make One Million Dollars, be that kid you were once before; Glen Iris Elementary School. When you had a good head on your shoulders. Yes, I know you are taking responsibility, only remembering facts. Teeth on stairs, bat on the jaw, “father’s” voice in your head bouncing around those white walls.

“Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.” ― Iron Mike Tyson

Hell, you didn’t even have a plan back then, you were merely HAPPY … now that’s a word for you. Last week with every conversation you’ve had with the girls you feel worse, hurt more and get uglier by the day. You think if you lost your job tomorrow; if the world comes crashing down that, there is no way you would recover. Because everything you utter, if anything would make your smile perfect. Compared to this madness? Think positive, yeah that’s those few seconds of ecstasy you feel, glaring at some girl’s tits. This week it was a cosplayer though last night it was the MILF’s curves. This morning you’ve forgotten which girl and speaking of Six Impossible Things:

  1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
    Failed
  3. I Will Review Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
    Failed
  4. I Will Review Depredation By Natalie Bennett
    Failed
  5. I Will Read “Lolita” Vladimir Nabokov
    Completed
  6. I Will Edit One Chapter Of My Newly Written Novel
    Failed

How many times must this be repeated, as much as this list, at least you’re looking at a 17.5 F but anyway. The greatest thing in life is to be loved, if not be liked, barring that, respected. If not, invisible, and if the human race won’t this small thing allow, be feared. Strange you never thought about TRUST. That’s a big word for a Dominant like yourself and why you live in fear of letting that monster out. So you stay in the invisible, sounds like that cult mantra from The Purge but there’s no final release only more pain. Anger, Rage, Hatred, that’s why you don’t bother. Because you could walk around with the perfect smile, and the world would look at you like what? You’re nothing, and then when you are acknowledged. You want to be the joke, a father, a Dominant or these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
  3. I Will Review Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
  4. I Will Review Depredation By Natalie Bennett
  5. I Will Read “Deception and Chaos” (Chaos #1) by S.M. Soto
  6. I Will Edit One Chapter Of My Newly Written Novel

Maybe you should change the question. From How To Make One Million Dollars, to how to make yourself smile Will. Not that you will because you have six months left, to get that million, half a year wasted. Sounds a lot better than; even your age makes you feel ashamed. Better that, than some girl’s tits, horror story, or any other purpose you can dream. Your motivations continue to say everyone’s goal is to be happy, don’t look back, but what makes you feel that. Like this list, you can’t even remember you only grin and bear it, the gnashing of teeth. One day you will smile again; back then wasn’t The Last Smile Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 340 ~I’m Your #1 Fan~

It’s probably a sin this didn’t work out the way I was picturing it, why I’m not a reactor, and even less of a reviewer am I right; fame and fortune and women, how many of my sins come back to that, my ultimate fandom. I’m Your #1 Fan.

Wednesday, June 6, 2018

Lesson 340 ~I’m Your #1 Fan~

Forgive Me Echo,
Can You Love Me Again, at least before I go to Hell, in the meantime a brother has to stay warm however he can and for today’s sin, if you’re paying attention, it’s been all about my fandoms, Quantic Dream “Detroit: Become Human,” “The Walking Dead”, etc.

Now several of these actually consist of multiple sins, but I’ve chosen to focus on four, and no I do not include Treachery, though I’m sure I’m guilty of that as well but what am I the number one fan of; I mentioned my mother destroying TMNT once *sigh* if she knew me now sadly.

“I got news for ‘hem… There’s gonna be hell to pay. ‘Cause I ain’t daddy’s little boy no more.” ― Nada/Roddy Piper, They Live (1988)

FRAUD, fake it to you make it they say and everyday Inspector Echo, I want to, I “try,” but I’m nothing to them, and I can’t even stand to look at my face in the mirror sometimes, I’ve disappeared, I’m not me anymore, or worse, them. It would have been okay to be daddy’s little sports fanatic, or a religious nutcase, to stay the butt of all their jokes. I was telling “Cherry” I can’t wipe this smile off my face for anything, a crime.

Maybe that’s why I bathe in blood… not for real Inspector Echo but give me “The Purge,” The Walking Dead, the riot in Detroit: Become Human, like those androids yes I wholeheartedly agree VIOLENCE is one of the universal languages. Much like music, it’s taken me years, but I understand the let’s say, physical conations in rap music and rock, but how many fights have I been in; next time…

Speaking of which ANGER, thinking and doing but that rage I swear sometimes it just overtakes me and sometimes watching other people indulge… to think if I said watching people engage in sex, I’m into voyeurism (Consensual), people would call me a peeping tom. Anyway, what I like about anger it’s like wearing an executioner’s mask or something akin to The Joker, but again I hate smiling, and in my rage, I become something different, more or less human, right?

LUST, of course, is my favorite because I can equate it to everything, today I wanted to more or less create a list of fandoms but as I said Detroit Become Human (North, Chloe, Kara), The Walking Dead, The Purge, “The Hunger Games,” “Divergent,” I could go on. Now, of course, this is a big subject, and maybe I don’t want to ruin something else… I mean The Walking Dead is losing Rick Grimes and possibly Maggie (NO), and I’ve already spoiled Detroit Become Human watching other people’s walkthroughs honestly.

“Mama don’t like tattletales.” Nada

So what do I need forgiveness for, Inspector Echo please forgive me for not enjoying other people’s fandoms, sports for one; I’m sorry I’m not just a fan of mine but I become Annie Wilkes obsessed, I’m Your #1 Fan.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 194 ~You’re Never Fully Dressed~

Shouldn’t it all start with a smile, my own being a mask and hers being just another bit of gift wrapping and don’t I have a habit of wrapping gifts for myself, but it’s not “the day,” Valentine’s or even Christmas? “You’re Never Fully Dressed.”

Thursday, January 11, 2018

Lesson 194 ~You’re Never Fully Dressed~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
No Fear, but I ain’t smiling either, who knows maybe tomorrow, let’s just say at the moment my new year’s resolution is in question, though I have bought plenty for a potential submissive, none of it leather. To be honest, I have never cared much for leatherwear. I’m one for soft, silky, skimpy, sexy, or should I be more specific maybe?

Does it make me weird that I prefer women dressed to buck naked, not that I have anything against nudity mind you, and it’s probably a lot more bizarre that I have two lady friends telling me I have an impeccable fashion sense? If it worked for Emeric and Ivory in Pam Godwin’s “Dark Notes” why can I not indulge myself, I for one don’t believe a woman’s place is in the kitchen or even the bedroom but by my side. Okay so who am I trying to kid with the outfits I purchase for a submissive, I don’t plan on leaving bed for some time with the right submissive.

Currently, my pornographic passions have focused mostly on CastingCouch-HD and Brutal Castings; perhaps it feeds three of my most prominent fetishes, voyeurism/exhibitionism, BDSM, and Interracial. It’s the clothes though; no secret I have always been one for a girl in a short skirt, or a summer dress, but now it’s, even more, dresses and lingerie, and I have been racking my brain trying to figure out why. I have a few professional model Pinterest, honestly enough but the idea that a woman just can’t wait or I can’t, clothes covered in cum, and especially using a girl’s panties or bra to tie her up *sigh*…

I never understood the whole cover every part of a woman up, does that make it more tempting, to me I both like and despise a tease, girls who deliberately entice men and then mad when men mention it. Now I’m not saying any guy has a right to put his hands on a women unwarranted (Ravishment will be another discussion) but, you know what nevermind, the media must be getting to me these days.

My point is I like women’s clothes, on women, it’s like the wrapping before you get the gift but sometimes the wrapping itself can be beautiful with a smile because when she’s with me being honest, You’re Never Fully Dressed.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 140 ~Glass of Instant Smile~

Have you ever seen anything so sloppy and I only wish I could say I was on something which would just be something else to add to my long list of problems I have been having today but why didn’t I give up, at least not yet? “Glass of Instant Smile”.

Saturday, November 18, 2017

Lesson 140 ~Glass of Instant Smile~

Hey Lady Lu,
No Fear, no to everything else too, but instead of saying that you know what you do, put on a smile and even then people ask why are you so happy. Sometimes there just isn’t an answer, it’s like asking which plague is next and didn’t they get worse with each question, which each demand that comes.

So what’s wrong, Black Friday is up this coming week and I’m not ready; at least with The Purge I could defend myself but this is madness. Speaking of madness, what was I thinking to spend all that money on absolutely nothing, my glass of instant smile I figure but what has a smile ever gotten me and aren’t I sure I have asked that question before. NaNoWriMo is coming to a close soon and how much writing has there been, how much have I done today to help out with the ever-growing total required.

How about the fact that I can’t control my own body, I want to say stress or maybe I’m just a pervert, which of course never really bothers me until I get that “release”. On top of that, it would explain my depression today, after I wasted several hours doing nothing and then I fell asleep, didn’t even to take my 5-hour Energy today because I got so much sleep. Oh how about the fact that I lost the placebo effect because I drank some Powerade and then went to sleep, I really need to look up what that’s supposed to do if anything honestly.

Now, these all might sound like “First-World Problems” to practically nothing at all, makes you question why am I complaining to you at all right Lady Lu? What would “Indiana Gone” think of me, speaking of which she will be leaving February 24th so who else will I be watching movies with besides the dog?

Do I a Wambulance, if anything I need a life, but for some reason, I just can’t be like everyone else, and trust me I’m fighting, I’m trying, I’m pushing but for once there is neither fear nor hope. So what have I learned, as is “The Last of Us” endure and survive, grin and bear it, and maybe I should really consider drinking, Starbucks, more energy shot or maybe a Glass of Instant Smile?

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 090 ~You’re Never Full Dressed~

Smiling hurts but when you choose to be the hero or even the villain, that’s exactly what you’re signing up for pain; everyone is fighting and smiling about it. “You’re Never Fully Dressed” without a smile as the song goes why my cape is a bedsheet.

Friday, September 29, 2017

Lesson 090 ~You’re Never Full Dressed~

Hey Lady Lu
No Fear and no smile either but instead a question; what is the purpose of a cape for the internet can be quite obtuse or maybe that’s just me to be sure.

I think I told you before I never really buy clothes, in fact, the last time I actually went clothes shopping was when I didn’t comply with the dress code at work and “Indiana Gone” keeps me decked out in black t-shirts; weird for a girl that can’t keep her clothes on. What about the fact that she’s always wearing a smile for me which in a way leaves her better off; when’s the last time I’ve worn a genuine smile or she’s just bias, other people not so much. A smile is just part of the mask I wear, hell damn near a necessity, you wear a coat because it’s cold, I wear a hoodie because it helps, I wear a smile to not get fired or to pretend.

So back to my original question what is the purpose of a cape, I must admit I like the idea of “cloak and dagger” you can hide a weapon, you can protect yourself with one arm, you can protect your identity. When I say that think about how both heroes and some villains have adapted it and while I don’t have any real respect for bullfighters you have these skinny guys hiding soft flesh behind a cape, the bull obviously would think he’s stronger. It might help me look more like a gentleman, as much as I would like some girl to start wearing my plaid shirts, my jacket, or want to steal my hoodie all I have is my smile but you don’t know how hard it is Luna.

Dr. Strange wears the Cloak of Levitation, but my cape, this freaky ass smile as Negan would say, allows me just to stand and then to put that smile on other people’s faces as they tear me down… You want to know why I don’t have to buy anything, my bedsheets are my new cape, and writing to you is slightly easier and how about my music, can I fly?

So what have I learned today because no Lady Luna I can’t fly, despite a new follower here or there, or how these words fly… no, they crash but at least I don’t have to speak them because we know right You’re Never Fully Dressed.

I Will Have No Fear

Mind The Soylent

Heavy the head that wears… well, I have no crown to speak of as of yet but my mind is more than full of things that I can’t let out, truths that no one can feast upon and as if those ideas are eating themselves. Mind The Soylent indeed

Always keep a stiff upper lip
or a smile to zip
the answers to all the things you said,
all the things you said as if I ship

this crown that I pursue
like theses, white walls grew
to encompass the world and universe too
but the pillows on my bed

say off with my head
in league with the red queen
making me wish Soylent Green
was people, to stop a good old fashioned killing machine

which I had in mind

Copyright © 2017, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

ROAR Excuses

“Let no man forget how menacing we are, we are lions!” Troy – and people now hunt them for sport, taking away that roar and not just what was once thought the fiercest of the beast. “ROAR Excuses”, what are my reasons to not speak

He roared and lost his jungle
reminding me, what’s mine no more
So I grunt and I grumble

They oinked and mooed
but this is what I came for
How was it all I knew

as it rustled and was cut down
Am I not moved to my core
And I wore a frown

only for her to speak without a clue,
really… no, my smile found its way to the floor
“Skeevy, inappropriate, stupid, that’s you”

Then my cries became mumbles
My eyes they did tumble
Maybe I just needed food
After, my tongue shall not be moved
No one wanted me around,
unless I pretended to be a clown
a mine not enjoying the view
Yet there was nothing I could do
with the voice, I had before
as the lion can no longer teach me how to ROAR

Copyright © 2017, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Frenching Heaven

I’ve heard it takes so many muscles to smile and so many to frown but how many does it take to kiss her, how many to even look at her and frankly it doesn’t matter how many it takes to love her. Frenching Heaven, to have such strength…

See Me Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=midtJiNbM9w

Kiss, kiss, kiss…

So I smile wide
Better not to invite a suicide

Does that make you frown?
If I could have you now…

But there are only so many muscles
Love me like you do… even God struggles

Copyright © 2015 Second Circle Creations, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Inspired By: Yuffie Kisaragi … Final Fantasy VII, Ellie Goulding “Love Me Like You Do” Fifty Shades of Grey Soundtrack

Turn Me

The world turns us every day but we never really think about it but a petty girl, a feeling, a lover can spin us around in so many ways, be it to catch a kiss, to stay, to play and so on. Turn Me, with something as simple as a smile and I become

It might be my turn

Yeah, but are you still waiting

For the words I’m not saying

Pretending I don’t know

 

There’s so much left to learn

As if I’ll turn off the edge of the world

Only you’re right there girl

Doesn’t stop me from falling though

because I can’t see the edge

So why not stay in bed

 

I might fail to return

But I’m wide awake

One step, two, another, okay

There you go

Who knew that angels could land?

Yet I can barely stand

 

Talk to her… talk to her

Pretty, beautiful, just say something

“Hey, I was wondering…”

Love stories; yeah I think so

Someday you, me, we, yes please

 

Or so I yearn

To see you turn my way

And say

“Whoa”

Stay with me

 

Because I know it’s my turn

To frown… to smile… I love… you knew

Love me like you do

From head to toe

 

Copyright © 2015 Second Circle Creations, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

 

Inspired by: Brittany Anne Pirtle – Emily… Power Rangers Samurai, Seether Ft. Amy Lee “Broken”, Glee Cast “Wide Awake” (Katy Perry), Johnny Gill “There You Go”, A Great Big World Ft. Christina Aguilera “Say Something”, Sugar Ray “Someday”, Sam Smith “Stay With Me”, and Ellie Goulding “Love Me Like You Do” Fifty Shades of Grey Soundtrack

 

See Me Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxRSqUqTSG0

Brittany Anne Pirtle - Emily… Power Rangers Samurai (Turn Me)