Gospel 334 ~Knowing Hell You Fear Heaven~

I remind myself it’s not just another day. “I wish I could say something classy and inspirational” for Memorial Day, but I know it’s Day 120. The defender of my kingdom, a “Real One,” is dead. “Knowing Hell You Fear Heaven,” what’s better than a dog?

Monday, May 31, 2021

Gospel 334 ~Knowing Hell You Fear Heaven~

Hundred And Ninetieth Rule

Madame Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but THEY say that money is the root of all evil. I don’t believe that, Madam Justice.

I love my son, and with that, as Sade sings “No Ordinary Love,” I would carry out evil. Indiana Gone and I would “joke” about our children, but really any parent of a fur baby would say the same. Anyone would fight, steal, and kill to keep them safe, Madam. Interestingly, I would call this place Hell, which it is now because I didn’t know how good I had it. I’m sure I’ve talked about how cold it is. So cut off the air conditioner, duh. I can’t imagine what it would be like to feel right again. Little B beside me once more. Madam, to have such love? To give such love? I would instead have my grief and nothing more. Am I afraid?

Haven’t I said over and over that not much frightens me anymore? Well other than falling into Depression (Fourth Stage of Grief). I’m sure I’ve mentioned Dante’s Inferno, and each stage is like one of the Nine Circles. For Dante, it was Treachery, mine, Acceptance. So give me all the 404 errors or dubious musings; yesterday, the horror, the horror. Madam, the whole world could know about my “Stuff and Thangs,” I lie here unashamed. Worst of all is a broken what, “vow?” If I were getting paid, I would have done so, and yet? I haven’t, Madam Justice, but you must understand I’ve never gone so long like this. The man I see on the screen knows such bliss but knew even greater. Braxton

Once you’ve been a Dad, a brother, a best friend, a hero, how do you ever go back to a man? I won’t ever regret a single day I spent with my son, even the last one. It’s been 120 days for those keeping score at home. How could I ever think that meeting that little ball of fluff was a mistake? Madam, such a thing was evolution but now why do men fear death? It’s like the prisoner who has been institutionalized and now fears for life without walls. How about when Rogue took Captain Marvel’s powers, and she is back to Carol Danvers. Braxton is a blessing and the Devil I knew, my Daemon. Nothing greater for me

Knowing Hell You Fear Heaven

120 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Gospel 327 ~Fire, Iron Evaporate The Enemy~

I could use a drink, but I’ve stopped with the Jell-O shots for now for some reason. Plus, I’m not a girl that just turned 21, ha-ha. I don’t want to sound like an old man with all the liquids, but I am a warrior. Fire, Iron Evaporate The Enemy, hmm.

Monday, May 24, 2021

Gospel 327 ~Fire, Iron Evaporate The Enemy~

Hundred And Eighty-Ninth Rule

Madame Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now but not from the Vaccine. Must I keep talking about the COVID-19 Vaccine? How about my son?

I would indeed talk about good things than my enemies. Hell, Madam Justice, there are enough tears and blood in the world without me adding to the flood. Now, of course, I did earlier on this “Saturday” morning. Yes, it’s the return of time travel. Monday sucks! I suppose it could be worse; is there a knife in anyone’s ribs? Am I behind bars? THEY say the pen is mightier than the sword, or how about a finger, the press of a button. Don’t I owe it to B to know how I killed him? There were far too many tears on that day, Madam. Then the tears fell to the flames thanks to the fucking ASM. My second betrayal; giving way to Anger, dammit.

A confession is more for Inspector Echo, and I’m sure I’ll tell her this as well. Sometimes a tear gives way to laughs. Copious Cleavage, Titanic Ta-tas, Supersized Slobber knockers. Thank you, Shelby, from Girlfriend Reviews. I’ve had my tears for B earlier, um yep. I told Indiana Gone the other day about all the marriages and babies I see all around me. So much life, and I do want to be a father again. Who knows, there might be some puppy right now nursing waiting for me. Madam Justice, I cannot prophesy. However, I’m talking to you from the past, and all I can be sure of is war. Fire and Blood, Winter is Coming, Ours is the Fury. Hate is inevitable, Madam Justice.

It’s not like THEY want anything else from me, at least from the email I got this morning. Talk about “stuff and thangs,” and I can’t stress this enough, I’m a monk, but why, hmm? I would say spit it out, but there’s a reason I don’t talk to people at the fucking Day Job. Do you think that my language has changed over time? I’ll keep my mask regardless. Maybe I should get into drinking Madam Justice. I did buy some Jell-O shots from Walmart. Yeah, I’m still mad at them for cheating me, but alcohol fixes everything, right? No, the fact remains as the song goes, “I’m only human after all.” I love Braxton, wanted a goddess and Fire, Iron Evaporate The Enemy.

113 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Gospel 320 ~Leash Your Demons, Never Tame~

Braxton’s leash is free and remains unused for what is now 106 Days and counting like all of his other things. Meanwhile, there is no stopping the mighty dollar, my mourning, or my mooning. Leash Your Demons, Never Tame.

Monday, May 17, 2021

Gospel 320 ~Leash Your Demons, Never Tame~

Hundred And Eighty-Eighth Rule

Madame Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now. I have my boy, and I own a brothel. It’s fun dreaming…

Let’s start with the first; if I had a billion dollars. Of course, the song is If I Had A Million Dollars, but I dream big, or still of Braxton. The money doesn’t matter much anymore, not after B III. If I want to try again, though… All I’ve read on fur babies says it’s natural, betrayal; Madam Justice, not betrayal but guilt. Let’s meet in the middle and call it Treachery. But like all my sins, I am one to downgrade myself to greed. It’s one of the reasons this week I want to focus on getting my tattoo of B III. It will be expensive, I guess, but Braxton’s life? B’s worth everything. With anger, I blame greed. Money is the root of all evil, The O’Jays sing.

So why couldn’t I save him? I’m beginning to move more and more into Bargaining, but you know I don’t want to. It’s like Dante making his way through the circles of Hell, and what is the next? More beats, more breaths, and blankets full of tears. Today’s date 106. Hell, I couldn’t stop Braxton even when he knew he was dying. What a horrible thought? Do you think he accepted that while everything in him told him to keep going? Fuck Madam Justice, I’m one fucked up human being, but the thought of hurting my child, I could never. It’s still so weird that on one side of the coin, I’m free. On the other without my Cerberus to guard me, I’m a monk.

This, of course, guides me to my worse “sins” I gave up Dirty Diana, I believe Thursday, February 4, 2021. I haven’t done “stuff and thangs” since Thursday, December 24, 2020. It’s when I wanted to be a better father, and I should have gifted B with a mother, right? I’m only a man (snickers.) I saw someone ask (Onlyfans girl) when did she think of herself as an adult. I can’t tell you like she did when she said she bought her own house. My Olds took out a mortgage. They pay some of the bills. I have a job, hobbies (stuff and thangs.) Yet I am Braxton’s father? To leash the horny fanboy. Become someone Braxton’s proud of. Trying Madam Justice, I’m trying. Leash Your Demons, Never Tame

106 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Log 219 ~Will Changes His Tune~

Well the hum drove me out of the Den once again, no Far Cry 5, watching wrestling from bed and letting people know about my problems; as I told someone today, it’s another day. Will Changes His Tune

Wednesday, February 5, 2020

Log 219 ~Will Changes His Tune~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, or so I “know,” the Law Of Attraction is what it is and such. Now I’m not jumping back on the positivity train. Every day, haven’t I said something about the humming? Well, that makes it hard to listen to Don’t Worry Be Happy. Inspector Echo, it’s getting to the point that I don’t know what to do with myself if I don’t hear that buzz. I’m also not one to join in the Super Bowl festivities. Yes, it’s still Sunday and am I jumping three days ahead now, not tonight.

If anything, I don’t want to get up earlier than I have to again. Somehow or another, I was able to tear myself away from my latest acquisitions to talk to you. Why do I need more noise in my life? You know, half the time, breathing is a little much for me to contend with, but here I am. Only isn’t that what I was telling the neighbors this evening? Inspector Echo, that’s how bad it’s become, that I’m reaching out to strangers for help. The truth is, these are my neighbors, but didn’t I ever learn stranger danger. Don’t remind me of how my grandmother scared me STUPID that I’d get kidnapped. I remember for a few weeks, I slept with a whistle around my wrist. Nowadays, it’s a ton of hardware and a bunch of alarms about the Day Job, avoiding lateness.

Yet didn’t I say I wanted to change my tune, and this is sounding a lot like the usual. How I miss the silence “My House” once gave so willingly. At least this morning, I was panicking for another reason. The car was frozen over, and I had to fight through the ice. Still, more of the usual Inspector Echo, how I do whatever it takes to get to places that I can’t stand. So, of course, this afternoon, all I did was lose myself to a dream. Imagining the place I want to be instead of making inroads there. If it’s any consolation, I did come up with a few ideas for further conversations. Now, if I wanted to hear anything right now, it would be dead silence. I think now the problem could be the plumbing, so I want to snake the toilet.

I’m sorry, was that too much, these problems, what about solutions; Will Changes His Tune.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 212 ~Will Of Computer Illiterates~

Last week I talked about sweat and blood, and I’m “man enough,” to admit there were tears of frustration and considering it’s taken me two whole days to get this conversation done. Will Of Computer Illiterates yeah I want to sleep more

Wednesday, January 29, 2020

Log 212 ~Will Of Computer Illiterates~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can pay people to do things. It would be nice to have my own “FOS” (Friends Of Spinelli) or “FOW.” Yes, once upon a time, I watched General Hospital, the women are beautiful. I’m also a big fan of Studio Fow, and you can look that up at your peril Inspector Echo. Only I’m not ashamed of once liking Soap Operas or my obsession with Adult Entertainment. My fixation, passion, I’ll even say mania, I’m surprised I found time to talk to you.

No, that’s not an insult; I give my energy, time, money, and even my books when it comes to a pretty face. Is that what inspired me to watch the Royal Rumble, yes, a catfight might do it for me sometimes. Could it be the reason my computer is slowing down? I should probably run System Restore, but not until I solve the current issue. Today I wanted to talk about the perils of adulting. It could be my bum ear, my hands that feel like I might have pulled something. Well, that will be my leg at the Day Job, no doubt. What about the constant humming? Didn’t I say once I was learning to live with the drone? I’ll admit I was wrong when it came to that. My biggest problem today is I’m trying to be “The Man” and still acting like a little boy. Yesterday (Sunday), everybody was mourning a GREAT man in Kobe Bryant, SIGH.

Again I’m not mocking, but not crying either, and several people died, it’s sad, but I’m not reading about that anymore. What I am studying is Cherry’s poetry, again and again. A man doesn’t want to fail a woman. So since 1:00 PM this afternoon, I’ve been working on a project for her and failing miserably. Remember when I was playing Far Cry 5, another Clutch Nixon mission “The Lord of The Wings?” Inspector Echo, this is so much worse. I’ve talked women out of their clothes, but I can’t break a page? I don’t have the time to look up the differences between a geek and a nerd. However, unlike so many bullies thinking, wearing a pair of glasses doesn’t make you either. I’m a horny guy thinking if I can’t do this small thing well, I’m not much.

Sorry, Will Of Computer Illiterates

I Will Have No Fear

Log 205 ~Willie Don’t You, Oh~

Well, those aren’t tears, and I still believe I need more sweat and blood, and I’m trying, and no, I’m not whining or crying, but today has been exhausting but I’m starting back at square one and it ain’t fun. “Willie Don’t You, Oh,” wow, am I right?

Wednesday, January 22, 2020

Log 205 ~Willie Don’t You, Oh~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but how much would I give to have twenty-four days again? It hasn’t even been twenty-four hours yet, and you know these will be the HARDEST, yes pun intended. So apologies for what I did. For having to fight so hard today and for this week, and my usual humor. As always, my “code” is “just the facts, ma’am,” so (Sunday) night; I blew it as it were. So now that’s somethings crying, I see no need to so, the positives.

I found out I still have what it takes to write. Well, that comes from the same “obsession” that slew me last night. We do what we love Inspector Echo or we should. Is that why I BLANKED myself, as the song goes, isn’t it ironic. It’s reinvigorating in some ways. You know I was beginning to believe that it’s starvation that makes you want anything. My motivations always speak on being hungry because it drives you, fair enough. It’s like though having a bottle of water, makes me want the ocean. How much have I looked up, and I’m still not looking at twenty-four hours yet? I’m not one for philosophy, but I am thinking, not overthinking but flowing like water. You know there’s a better way to say that, but it’s like fishing.

My mind is clear, which, of course, is always a direct result. It doesn’t last for too long, but nobody gets how I find my peace. I’ve said before, I breathe naturally, I’m happier, the hunger drives me, but I’m not a beast. Not this moment anyway. Especially with both Cherry and M Anime going through hard times. There are tears, and the last thing I need to be doing is whining. Don’t get me wrong; I still want what I want, but now isn’t about me, Inspector Echo. You can’t give with an empty cup and if a “certain” chalice is full? Philosophy and now politics, the rich only want more always. It all comes back to BALANCE, and that is something I need to master. Now that’s another sin, either I starve, or I feast, I’m lazy, or I grind, always an extreme.

So I do regret what happened last night, the day I worked today, and then I got lazy, no reading. Only I’m not going to weep; Willie Don’t You, Oh.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 198 ~In Exchange For Will~

Don’t get me wrong, as I still plan on having a business of my own, but for now, it’s time to start making some moves with the money I got, and how do they say, gain the whole world and lose your soul. “In Exchange For Will.”

Wednesday, January 15, 2020

Log 198 ~In Exchange For Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, or should I say I have 769,100,000 Pounds Sterling. Now, why would I ever need to know that? In the quest for S E X, I’ve looked up the letters, RICK, CHD, PFE, and was excited for EROS when I first saw it. I agonized over my car last year; not anymore, this is the week. Anyway, I shell out for my Dæmon without question. Whatever It Takes, to keep his health up, of course, I’ll pay the vet. How people say, they change in the name of God but the man that I must become.

I can’t stress this enough, but I’m only speaking the truth. If it becomes a sin, to be honest, then my motivations aren’t worth anything. I’m not a Republican and especially not the President. Someone said the truth would set you free, and I’m not religious either, but unlike last week, I will let it go. The expense of keeping my kid alive, I never question such a decision. It’s only an annual check-up, and everything is fine with him. Again I am traveling through time; today is Monday. Of course, I need to get a refill of his medication before his appointment. Speaking of things, I need to check the Stock Exchange. Instead of letting my money sit in the “Death Star,” I could put it in owning a business. My focus is on Sin Stocks. You know those with Adult Entertainment, condoms, and pills for men. Sometime this week I’ll invest even more.

Why don’t I invest more in being a “good friend?” Do you want to know why I know the exchange rate from dollars to pounds? More adult entertainment, MILF Dos is one of those “California Girls,” but Cherry is across the pond. My Motivations ask, what do I want to be proud of today. Well, I woke up at 1:30 AM to have this conversation with you as always. So if I’m going to talk it might as well be worth something, so I told her I’d stop “giving away” money. I’m smarter with “Specs,” but I know the effect she has on me when she gets close. Cherry isn’t close physically, but money pushes some people away, but with enough? Now that’s something I won’t apologize for, the things I’m doing for more money.

Money, Power, Women, my life exchanged, In Exchange For Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 191 ~Will I’m On Fire~

I tend to be a bit of a hothead for many reasons, but even Hell comes in different temperatures, or so I was taught, people talking too much and crowding my space, getting angry, and women. “Will, I’m On Fire” still

Wednesday, January 8, 2020

Log 191 ~Will I’m On Fire~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which is good because the heat is on. For the record, though, that’s one more thing I don’t pay for yet. I’m also reminded of NBA Jam the phrase “He’s On Fire.” Do you remember so many years ago that was the worst thing, going to Jeremy’s house to lose in either that or Mario Kart? Now I’m busy dealing with the likes of Faith Seed in Far Cry 5. Well, at least I didn’t die last night, in the game. You know the rule about facts, though, and I am burning up this “Monday” morning.

I know all about letting go vs. holding on, but breaking a few decades of bad habits isn’t easy. Yes, I gave LP the cold shoulder and what did I say last week, no more stewing, but I boiled over. That man deserved to get burned, but while nobody else has given this a second thought possibly, here, I am. Am I still tossing away money like there’s no tomorrow? My “father” would say I’m spending money like it’s burning a hole in my pocket. Last week it was all about Cherry, and then came M Anime. Of course, I burned up over that with Dear Future Wife in my way. If I’m not on fire about a woman, then at least I’m warm, staying wrapped up in blankets sleeping. Well, I’m back up at 1:30 AM this morning, hoping life returns to; what, normal? Now you know what that is; Inspector, I deserve BETTER.

Not to sound like Joseph Seed, but have you seen the world? Australia is burning up day by day. The country is on the edge of war because of Trump. A girl on Twitter @lilearthangelk was selling pictures to raise money, and now she’s being chased around. Wasn’t that what I was doing to M Anime, getting all hot and bothered by her and then ranting? As the song goes, moving cool. What about cold hard cash, but I don’t know how much of that I got until I get the car fixed. It feels so safe here in this warm bed. Yesterday taking a shower, let’s say I had a preview at my directorial debut. That’s not dirty; there’s so much beauty in the world, but thinking of HER?

Hot in here or just her; Will, I’m On Fire.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 184 ~We Breaking Up Will~

Happy New Year and I do mean happy because if I’m not well, no, I won’t give in to negativity so then what’s the point of Inspector Echo, just the facts ma’am and I’m not that old. We Breaking Up Will

Wednesday, January 1, 2020

Log 184 ~We Breaking Up Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but you’re not a gold digger. Well, at least no more than I allow. Anyway, to answer your question, we probably should but no. Are you a hard habit to break Inspector Echo, of course? Do I have far worse addictions? I’m on edge as we speak, considering it’s still New Year’s Eve, Tuesday. It’s pretty awkward when I said I’m not going to beat myself up anymore. I can’t afford it; I mean, it costs me a billion dollars. I’m not a SUB or SWTCH, so time to DOM up.

Still, I better enjoy today while it lasts because on Wednesday, so okay. First thing, I’m back to dying on Far Cry 5. The angels killed me once, but more so, I blew up my truck. What about those Vietnam Lighters? Next, seeing as how it’s a brand new year, I need to get the car fixed. No more walking blind with my eyes shut, if that makes any sense. Can I be afraid of my “father” forever? The Day Job, of course, continues to be humiliating but only because I allow it to be so. I indeed have a choice, and one of them is to tell my boss to quit touching me like always. No, not like that, but I hate those touches. Now, what did I say about “Edging,” I’m wasting time, I could get more sleep if only I would buckle down and do the work?

So what will your job be if I’m not going over every single humiliation I endure. “Just the facts, ma’am” and no Inspector Echo, I’m not that old, not yet. If anything, I’ll tell the truth and then let it go, no more stewing. One of the things that make me a good Dom is I know the other side, a Sub; it’s like the light side and the dark side of the force. I’m a little gray. Now that’s a good example; my “beard” was gray. Not how I feel about it, only honesty, and no more. I’m getting old before my time, and while Cherry (cue homer drool) is into that, I’m not her type. What, I won’t be ashamed of desire, but I won’t revel in it either. I have a new year to see Inspector Echo.

Happy New Year, none of this We Breaking Up Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 177 ~Will Wait For You~

Merry Christmas, but the TRUTH isn’t a gift many people want but we all need, only as I asked myself, did I honestly need to say all of this on such a “magical,” “holy,” “capitalistic” day? Will Wait For You, and Happy Holidays

Wednesday, December 25, 2019

Log 177 ~Will Wait For You~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I’m waiting to see that man in the mirror? If anything, I told myself I would be dreaming in bed tonight. A full eight hours, 11:00 PM to 7:00 AM, but at the moment it’s 10:55 PM. I guess I couldn’t wait, and no, I’m not going to sing the chorus of “I Don’t Want To Wait.” Now before we get into what I said Christmas Eve, ahem Merry Christmas to you, me, everybody. I’ll still not a man of faith Inspector Echo, but you know I’m always running. Escaping my past, one day somehow?

Okay, so that leads me back into yesterday, Ha, Ha. I was talking about songs that I’m still getting over, and those are only some of my many humiliations. You’re asking me, must I do this today or again shouldn’t I go to bed? You remember Sunday, July 02, 2017, Lesson 001, Look Who Grossed Up? The beginning of my new blog, a conversation with Lady Luna. The more things change, the more they stay the same. I couldn’t sleep then either all because of what I said to a woman. These past few days, I’ve been commenting on another blog. I have the right to exist; that’s my mantra at the Day Job. Only I shouldn’t have talked to that woman like that and at work? It’s like breathing is an insult to everyone, even me, dear Inspector Echo.

Humming Her Humiliations Playlist:

  1. Something Just Like This
  2. Oops (Oh My)
  3. break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored
  4. Touch My Body

So which is it, and I waiting for Santa, Jesus, some pretty girl, can’t I save myself? Flipping the coin, what is it that I want and I can give you the same answer as always. I want to write a bestseller, take the cash and move to Nevada. Inspector Echo I’ll work with Dennis Hof’s crew or set out alone. Brothel, strip club, hotel, movie studio, modeling agency, more. It’s not like Santa is going to drop a few million in my bank account tonight. Jesus has never given me peace of mind. I’ve fought his followers, starting with my “father.” Girls of the world ain’t nothing but trouble but money, power, then the women, but tonight’s Christmas wish.

11:35 PM, don’t regret tomorrow, LIVE, Will Wait For You.

I Will Have No Fear