Tag: Balance

Saga 287 ~Virgil, Braxton’s Words Away~

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I don’t want to read more bad news. Day Job says you’re worth this? The GOP continues to be racist. Another brother dies, or is it some kids? Some people are above the law. My boy is still gone. And there’s always porn. “Virgil, Braxton’s Words Away”

Friday, April 14, 2023

Saga 287 ~Virgil, Braxton’s Words Away~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But I would never stoop to building a “man cave.” A Study, Library, a Gaming Room.

Hell! After reading “Fifty Shades of Grey,” you know I want to build the “Red Room of Pain.” Being a billionaire and all. One day I want to own a brothel. But enough of that. Which is something I’m sure Cherry intends to say. And I’ve talked to Braxton’s Aunt. Only most of these days I’ve been distant. And it’s not like reading is taking that long. It would be a lot more enjoyable if Braxton were here. I was on the loveseat this morning. Oh, don’t get your hopes up. I wasn’t reading but practicing meditation once again, Sophia. More to the point, I wanted to get away from Virgil. That’s the only reason I bothered getting up at all. He took the bed.

What? I didn’t have the heart to move him, so that’s something anyway. Besides Sophia. Does Virgil want to lay beside me as I read about how much I miss Braxton being by my side and not him? And at this rate, I can discover plenty of books about losing furbabies. Well, as long as the Kindle Challenge holds. It was all “fun and games” until Kindle dictated what titles they wanted you to read. It’s kept me away from Triple B for sure. Either that or, as the song goes, these “pornographic passions. Did I mention getting back on Audible, so I could get a book that had cost $34.79? I got it for free with a membership. It’s “Fairy Tale: Succubus, Book 7.”

Because with eyes, at least, all I’ve been reading is “good,” bad, and ugly news. It’s effing everywhere. Last night, I told Braxton’s Aunt I’m always tired. “Close Your Eyes.” There’s always “Oh, ah, ah, ah, ah! Get up, come on, get down with the sickness!” If you want to know where I was the last few minutes. TMI, right? The world, I am, sick. Thursdays are the only time I can tell Braxton about it… I don’t even remember what I told him yesterday, to be honest, and today. There’s so much writing left to do. How much for the Day Job? And what if I say something STUPID? There’s “GULP.” And then Braxton’s books. Let Virgil have the bed. Virgil, Braxton’s Words Away

803 Days Without B III, Day 244 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 280 ~Braxton Reads To Virgil~

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This is the first poem/song I’ve written in forever. I need to write the “Balance” App a good review… As I have no idea where this came from. Focus? When am I not focused on porn? When I’m crying about my boy. And my country? Braxton Reads To Virgil.

Friday, April 7, 2023

Saga 280 ~Braxton Reads To Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. Yeah, when pigs fly… Oh, really? Well then, when dogs read. But Braxton was much more.

“He’s My Son.” But, “he doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” Isn’t that great? I’m crying at 7:20 AM. At least the tears kept me from reading the alarm clock for the 3 hours I wasted. It’s a miracle to get up on time for anything but Hell. Um, “Isn’t it ironic, don’t you think?” Okay, I’ll quit with all the songs, but they beat the Bible slightly? It’s “Good Friday,” Lady Sophia. And even though I want the miracle of Braxton coming back… I won’t be reading the “Good Book.” You know, like the Republicans who are saying today “Good Riddance” to two black lawmakers. First, I didn’t realize that was the title of a song. Second, To the Tennessee GOP Ahem: FUCK YOU!

You see, it wasn’t all porn I was reading as I dried my tears and wasted time today. But since we’re on the subject. When are we not when it comes to my horniness every day. (Sigh) Internet Porn, Ahem:

Money Talks to Jessi Stone. Another, Jessie, likes to roam. At Dong’s Diner,
Rasberry, to Residents a drink, be wary. OnlyFans but Magy’s vag.
Magical but in a bag. Dollies’ hands. The Savior’s man. Momo’s tits while Dani’s sick. Dirty maids, not today. But on the floor, there’s lingerie.
And Ukraine a Stormy way. With little pricks of presidents, Blonde Melody, and BBCs.
Parker’s boned, but Tennessee? M Anime, the news today? Getting harder anyway.
And Fuu amongst the samurai and Retweeting all the hentai, and the final fantasy of Cherry’s body longed to see

We Didn’t Start The Horny

What the eff! I have no idea where that came from, Lady Sophia. I meant to make a “We Didn’t Start The Fire” reference. I guess I lied about the music, huh? But with all the “adult” themes today. Be it porn or politics (sigh). I meant to tell you everything I wouldn’t be reading today but now? Other than the fact I’ve spent an hour rewording this song… Why? Let’s say… I care about Virgil Vivi and don’t want him abandoned. If I said everything, Sophia. As I’m sure, Braxton tells Virgil, which is why Virgil is hiding in here. Braxton, my little ghost dog? Braxton Reads To Virgil

796 Days Without B III, Day 237 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 023 ~To B This Empty~

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My novel with B is halfway full, but my head is half empty. That’s a lie because what am I filling the other half with. Furbabies, forgetting about the Day Job (or trying to. And how effed up I am or my friends talking about it. Only To B This Empty.

Sunday, July 24, 2022

Saga 023 ~To B This Empty~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, meaning full of cash. What are you full of? Which monsters nurture your fear. Your mourning? Monday.

For all, that’s begun filling up this week. You know you’re empty of all the good in the world. And as I said yesterday, it starts with Braxton. Do you even have a container? I mean, a heart? No, that remains broken. A Republican ideology, harden all you know. Harden… Giggity, and you will get to that. Don’t have the power to resist temptation. Anyway, while you’re on the subject of power, should we talk about the phone battery. There’s the laptop battery that was ready to give you a heart attack? Pathetic! Hopeless! Now you can blame me for the fridge not being as full as it should be. So I’m no better. Yet if you want fullness, look at Little B’s yard today.

  1. I WILL BE Finishing, Blackout: A Thriller, Erin Flanagan
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Staying Ahead Of Camp NaNoWriMo
    Completed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Oh no! Ignore your son and go look at some Yabbos, right? When I looked at those addiction books yesterday and read about the symptoms. There are three things. Financial pain. How much do you pay for subscriber-wise or anything with sex, hmm? Then there’s the Day Job. This is more a confession for Echo. Jerking off before leaving. Then there’s family and friends. Besides, the indifference to this existence. That was a direct cause of Triple B’s death. Too much XXX while ignoring him. There are other friends. One immediately gives me a hard-on whenever she messages. Then there’s the one you were messaging this morning. You have all the respect in the world for women, but such horrific stories are actual turn-ons. Fuck!

  1. I WILL BE Finishing, The Power of Pets: 7 Effective Tools To Heal From…
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Staying Ahead Of Camp NaNoWriMo
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Speaking of your hands being empty of your tallywhacker, or so you hope. (Sex brings such colorful language). What about Six Impossible Things? If that isn’t one book fail, ha. You continue to think about Blackout: A Thriller. For everything, it was about. It’s the thing that’s keeping you so grounded in fighting addiction. (cough) for three days (cough). Yeah right. And now you want to fill your mind with more pets dead and dying. Doesn’t it beat sex, though? Well, in America. Death is always more acceptable than sex. Anyway, it’s why you’re not reading erotica. Um… Succubus Lord audiobooks… Ten was my favorite, so you know. It’s a balancing act, being half full, half empty. That’s existence, that’s real. To B This Empty

539 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Log 205 ~Willie Don’t You, Oh~

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Well, those aren’t tears, and I still believe I need more sweat and blood, and I’m trying, and no, I’m not whining or crying, but today has been exhausting but I’m starting back at square one and it ain’t fun. “Willie Don’t You, Oh,” wow, am I right?

Wednesday, January 22, 2020

Log 205 ~Willie Don’t You, Oh~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but how much would I give to have twenty-four days again? It hasn’t even been twenty-four hours yet, and you know these will be the HARDEST, yes pun intended. So apologies for what I did. For having to fight so hard today and for this week, and my usual humor. As always, my “code” is “just the facts, ma’am,” so (Sunday) night; I blew it as it were. So now that’s somethings crying, I see no need to so, the positives.

I found out I still have what it takes to write. Well, that comes from the same “obsession” that slew me last night. We do what we love Inspector Echo or we should. Is that why I BLANKED myself, as the song goes, isn’t it ironic. It’s reinvigorating in some ways. You know I was beginning to believe that it’s starvation that makes you want anything. My motivations always speak on being hungry because it drives you, fair enough. It’s like though having a bottle of water, makes me want the ocean. How much have I looked up, and I’m still not looking at twenty-four hours yet? I’m not one for philosophy, but I am thinking, not overthinking but flowing like water. You know there’s a better way to say that, but it’s like fishing.

My mind is clear, which, of course, is always a direct result. It doesn’t last for too long, but nobody gets how I find my peace. I’ve said before, I breathe naturally, I’m happier, the hunger drives me, but I’m not a beast. Not this moment anyway. Especially with both Cherry and M Anime going through hard times. There are tears, and the last thing I need to be doing is whining. Don’t get me wrong; I still want what I want, but now isn’t about me, Inspector Echo. You can’t give with an empty cup and if a “certain” chalice is full? Philosophy and now politics, the rich only want more always. It all comes back to BALANCE, and that is something I need to master. Now that’s another sin, either I starve, or I feast, I’m lazy, or I grind, always an extreme.

So I do regret what happened last night, the day I worked today, and then I got lazy, no reading. Only I’m not going to weep; Willie Don’t You, Oh.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 183 ~Time To Work Sparky~

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At the closing of the year *sigh* I’m exhausted, and I will be, but maybe this year I will try something different, perhaps this year I will live instead of just surviving, no more usual. “Time To Work Sparky.”

Sunday, December 31, 2017

Lesson 183 ~Time To Work Sparky~

“We are the spark, that will light the fire that’ll burn the First Order down.” Star Wars: The Last Jedi

To Will:
No Fear and we’ll start here and end here only to begin again; to be honest fireworks scare me and let that be the last deep dark secret I share with you because you will be a much braver man. Perhaps today is a day for grand declarations and if I have to think of one for you, Will you won’t just be a man you’ll be the man, and you’re doing great.

Do you even remember how you spent last New Year’s Eve because I don’t, but already, you’ll be out amongst people, you’ll have a friend that has two legs and while you’ll be exhausted tomorrow morning as the kids say nowadays, YOLO? I know it doesn’t sound as exciting as watching religious propaganda… what some of those movies are awesome, yet another secret but anyway that was a good night, and there is no reason not to think the best of this one. Speaking of which I don’t expect you to get over fear in one night, we’re talking decades but again, today is the first day of the rest of your life, just yours.

“I don’t know where I’m going
But I sure know where I’ve been
Hanging on the promises
In songs of yesterday

And I’ve made up my mind,
I ain’t wasting no more time” ― Whitesnake

There are too many statements that all contradict each other, maybe we should stick with the words of Whitesnake’s “Here I Go Again” because this is what you’ll have to do. I want you to feel the fear, don’t knock it, fear, anger, hate, yes I sound like Star Wars which just goes to show, don’t forget who you are and who you will become. Just like hope, kindness, and love, there is a balance to grow, which brings me back full circle my friend.

“The opposite of war isn’t peace, its creation” ― RENT

You won’t just be the spark, I want you to be a freaking infection, pain, a virus; I want you to go off, to explode, and from the craters that you create from yourself for once. I want you to build, be the angry man and give them a reason to look down on you. Yeah, let them see because just when they think they’ve won yet again, you’ll blind them with your bright future.
Yes, you just won’t be a firework, you just won’t be a spark, not just the tip of the sword, this is going to be your year. Okay, how many times have I said this and it is my wish that you will never have to repeat it now go on Time To Work Sparky.

I Will Have No Fear, Have A Happy New Year