Log 198 ~In Exchange For Will~

Don’t get me wrong, as I still plan on having a business of my own, but for now, it’s time to start making some moves with the money I got, and how do they say, gain the whole world and lose your soul. “In Exchange For Will.”

Wednesday, January 15, 2020

Log 198 ~In Exchange For Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, or should I say I have 769,100,000 Pounds Sterling. Now, why would I ever need to know that? In the quest for S E X, I’ve looked up the letters, RICK, CHD, PFE, and was excited for EROS when I first saw it. I agonized over my car last year; not anymore, this is the week. Anyway, I shell out for my Dæmon without question. Whatever It Takes, to keep his health up, of course, I’ll pay the vet. How people say, they change in the name of God but the man that I must become.

I can’t stress this enough, but I’m only speaking the truth. If it becomes a sin, to be honest, then my motivations aren’t worth anything. I’m not a Republican and especially not the President. Someone said the truth would set you free, and I’m not religious either, but unlike last week, I will let it go. The expense of keeping my kid alive, I never question such a decision. It’s only an annual check-up, and everything is fine with him. Again I am traveling through time; today is Monday. Of course, I need to get a refill of his medication before his appointment. Speaking of things, I need to check the Stock Exchange. Instead of letting my money sit in the “Death Star,” I could put it in owning a business. My focus is on Sin Stocks. You know those with Adult Entertainment, condoms, and pills for men. Sometime this week I’ll invest even more.

Why don’t I invest more in being a “good friend?” Do you want to know why I know the exchange rate from dollars to pounds? More adult entertainment, MILF Dos is one of those “California Girls,” but Cherry is across the pond. My Motivations ask, what do I want to be proud of today. Well, I woke up at 1:30 AM to have this conversation with you as always. So if I’m going to talk it might as well be worth something, so I told her I’d stop “giving away” money. I’m smarter with “Specs,” but I know the effect she has on me when she gets close. Cherry isn’t close physically, but money pushes some people away, but with enough? Now that’s something I won’t apologize for, the things I’m doing for more money.

Money, Power, Women, my life exchanged, In Exchange For Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 114 ~Will Did It Highway~

Here in my car, I feel frightened of all; even with my locked doors, I might not even live; yeah, that’s a song I don’t know really, let alone an attempt to rewrite, but at least I wasn’t driving all over today. Will Did It Highway yep

Wednesday, October 23, 2019

Log 114 ~Will Did It Highway~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Billionaire right now, and I’ll never drive again. Yes, I’m being dramatic and lying, but its been touch and go for a while. Back to the matter at hand, though, October 16, a day where I am surprised I lived. Inspector Echo, that was my first time driving on the highway in years. How’s that for a confession? Now, of course, I’ve been on the highway. My “father” taking me to get the car, The McWane Science Center trip with Indiana Gone “Star Wars.”

Anyway, driving on the highway; not since I was back in high school, do you know how many years that was. What’s my age again, as the song goes? Okay, to get to Indiana Gone’s wedding, it was fourteen hours avoiding my fear or ten and a half going headlong. Hell, do I love that woman, she would probably say yes I do. I can’t say I have any other IRL friends. “Okay,” is not speaking to me, and I’m always trying to see Cherry’s boobs. My Firstborn is having a tantrum; what did they have him sleeping on there? I don’t risk my friends’ lives and besides the most depressing drive is getting to work every day. Who needs the highway when my Day Job is killing me daily? I don’t even need the car to get to that bit of Hell. Still isn’t that the dream, staying home.

I realized only now that I checked the mailbox and didn’t have any tickets. Last week earlier today, I almost crashed into someone. I left early Friday morning, but you know I’m an old man, a blind one, I could have been a dead one. You know I always want to limit lives lost. Didn’t I say that the word “MERGE” ranks right up there with Stupid and Happy? Indeed, I was grateful whenever Siri said for some hundred miles to keep straight. Of course, that didn’t account for gas breaks; how many close calls did I have? Even when I got to the hotel, I took a left instead of a right because I had so much anxiety, and I was exhausted. What about the humiliation of my mother calling when they ran my card in Rockford? More on that Friday I suppose Echo.

For now, I’m sorry I was so afraid, but yes Inspector Will Did It Highway.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 107 ~Must Go Faster Will~

Last week I talked about the open road, got my driver’s license renewed, found my way to my kid’s hotel, and even visited with my Olds, good thing I got the car fixed, but where am I off to now? Must Go Faster Will.

Wednesday, October 16, 2019

Log 107 ~Must Go Faster Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Billionaire right now, so sorry Bernie Sanders I want mine. For now, I’ll settle with being fearless, the impossible dream I know. Hell, what I did today I would have at one point said was impossible. A rite of passage if you will, like losing your virginity, getting a job, or getting married. The things I will do for a woman as always. So what is it I did today besides make my Firstborn look like a hippie, or is it Bohemian? You know I wish I could tell you, it’s too humiliating Inspector.

It’s something to the tune of Franklin Clinton’s first “job.” Am I the only one who walks into a bank and thinks how to take one down. No Inspector Echo, but I would have been paying somebody all sorts of money when I was downtown today. If anything, I would have died well dressed, and let’s not get started on my driver’s license photo. It’s how I felt at the time, all wide-eyed and panicked, which explains why I’m not sleeping. I’ve seen everything today, and even my Olds didn’t scare me as much as my actions. You want embarrassing, asking everyone about my shirt. Scared to put on my Firstborn’s collar because he hates getting dressed. Was he tacky at TheDogStop that the ladies gave me another collar for him? It was free, but nearly wrecking today on the highway wouldn’t be I know.

I’m still “trying” to read How To Stop Worrying And Start Living. Strange I was living by one of the principles, imagine the worst, accept it, improve it too. I’m sitting there thinking, the worst thing that could happen is I die. I’m not suicidal, Inspector Echo. It was sort of like GTA when flying a plane. Taking off and landing, that’s the hard part. Once you’re coasting along, well you have time to reflect. I won’t lie to you Inspector Echo I’m still scared. The thing is I didn’t die, and I know what I did must be done. I know if I expect to have a wife and a family if I want to get anywhere in the world. My little boy faced his fear so why can’t I? Eric Thomas talks about running towards the fight, and I’ve been running away forever.

Sorry, if I want the world, Must Go Faster Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 100 ~Will Man, Real Man~

I told myself last year that a car would be the least of my troubles because I would be a millionaire and today I’m “complaining” about being out on the open road, and you know I’m a Scrooge when it comes to shoes. “Will Man, Real Man”

Wednesday, October 9, 2019

Log 100 ~Will Man, Real Man~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Billionaire right now, and have I ever mentioned, not a car guy. Inspector Echo, I swear when I “live the dream” I won’t have a dozen cars. Hell, I have made it a life goal that I’ll never leave my house again when I’m successful. Now, this is coming from a man that wants to own brothels, a strip club, a studio. Let’s not forget those modeling agencies both here and in Europe. The keyword there is man. I’m Will man, not a wheelman, and being real man SIGH?

I feel used and abused, damn near robbed, the people you can’t trust. How about something out of the Game Of Thrones, the things we do for love. Indiana Gone is one of my best friends, but love? You know I despise most of the people at the Day Job. I am no fan of Mazda at this second. So here I am being robbed to reach one. I’m Losing to be a loser at the other. Okay, Rule 15 states “I Take My Own Lumps” at Mazda. It’s called being an adult isn’t it Inspector Echo? I want to have a Bobby Hill moment and say “I quit.” Don’t get me wrong I am taking responsibility, what’s wrong with the car is my fault. Waiting to go to my friend’s wedding, I’m to blame. Not having the courage to escape a job that I can’t stand, yeah that’s all me Inspector Echo. Still not even a little bit, not even at all am I, as stated before, a wheelman.

I’m only Will, but the thing is I’m looking for more. Being a greedy S.O.B and that’s not changing anytime soon. You know I talk about my Firstborn all the time; am I the best daddy ever. I say it every week, the answer is no, but I want to be his hero. Only when it comes to the women in my life? Now and then, I miss wanting to be the knight on the white horse. The truth is, I want to know acceptance as one of the horsemen of the apocalypse. Why not something out of Disney Prince Ali Ababwa? Then again sticking with music, running is the story of my life, Run boy run, and I’m running on empty no doubt Echo.

Apologies because of all I am, Will Man, Real Man?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 048 ~Being The Will Man~

How can I expect to fly, when I hate driving, hell I like hiking, but regular walking is a chore, and the most used piece of flooring in this place is between my bed and my drawer where I keep my phone; “Being The Will Man” still reinventing him

Sunday, August 18, 2019

Log 048 ~Being The Will Man~

To Will:
I AM a Millionaire right now, and hopefully, you aren’t a car guy. You’re thinking of being A Will Man (A Real Man) this morning. Now that is a talk for another time, a big one. Yes, you are horny already, you should start naming every temptation. From let’s say 6:55 AM to 8:50 AM hmm? Haley Pullos liked your Straight A’s To XXX comment… are you a fuckboy or what (LANGUAGE). You now know who Elsa Jean is, porno research. You still have to download Riley Reid’s movie. I could go on.

If anything though it is better than caring about cars. One more bit of stress right, though “Indiana Gone” is a good friend. A long drive to her wedding but you’re a man of your word. Okay, so we’re not going to talk about Alice Little? You still remember you have to publish your book. When’s the last time you worked on editing? Not that I’m any better. Last night I got lost leading Ethan Mars through the tunnels, Heavy Rain. Maybe that’s it; you don’t have any idea where you’re going. You have a list of life goals, but you have no plan of making it there. Of course, when it comes to your firstborn, failure’s not ever an option. When it comes to any that you care about, you do what it takes to get there. At the same time, though what about you? Another Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” B III Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing The Five
    Completed
  5. I AM Bringing My Email Inbox To Zero
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing Reading The Fallen Genesis A Deadly Virtues Prequel, Tillie Cole
    Completed
  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” B III Deserves
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
  4. I AM Reviewing The Fallen Genesis
  5. I AM Bringing My Email Inbox To Zero
  6. I AM Finishing Reading Raphael By Tillie Cole

I’ll admit I could have gotten three. Four if I was a good father somehow someway. Five if I wasn’t looking at porn and trying not to spend money. Now here you are, reinventing the wheel as the song goes. One more list of things you won’t do Will. You said you’d wake up at 4 AM and you crashed in bed. I would have driven for Chinese Friday. Still, the kid needed his nails trimmed. Is it that you’re lost or there is no place you want to go? If we spoke about all the things that scare you about driving. Again, you go to work; you get stuff for your firstborn. You even go vote, and you maintain your sanity (movies, Chinese, BBQ). It’s the worst experience, driving someplace you rather not be at all. Somewhere at the end of the day, not being humiliated is a win. That’s Being The Will Man.

I Will Have No Fear