Tag: Stupid

Saga 169 ~Powers That B, Virgil~

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Didn’t think I’d go all “Colors of The Wind.” But I did go to see Avatar: The Way of Water. There’s Ice-T’s “Colors.” Today, I’m blue, trying not to look at Tifa’s red eyes or V’s white fur. To lose myself in the “blackness.” “Powers That B, Virgil.”

Saturday, December 17, 2022

Saga 169 ~Powers That B, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means, as the song goes, “I’ve got the power (power, power).” But not this morning.

If anything, I’m an emotional motherfucker. A little bitch. My apologies for the language Lu. It’s either this or just screaming into a pillow. Well, there is more. Last night, I thought I would easily trade Mental Anguish for Physical Harm. Self-harming doesn’t suit me…

I’m blue. And not in a “Da ba dee da ba di” way, Lady Lunalesca. Is it about my boy, my son Braxton? I can’t deny that. I had a dream my right ear was blue and rotting away. I have no more money for docs this year. Though last night I did see Avatar: The Way of Water. No, I’m not seeing red. Not about that anyway. Anytime I see red… There are reasons red and black are standards.

My battle standard, to be specific. Yesterday I told Lady Sophia that words have power. But colors Lady Lunalesca. Wasn’t Braxton, well, all fur-babies colorblind?

I’m not going to go all teacher’s pet and brown nose, falling down the Internet rabbit hole today. If I want brown, tan… beige, I would instead think of my son. Virgil ain’t Braxton. That’s becoming as common a term as I killed B III and 2V in his white fluff, is what? A ghost haunting me? V’s snow… how cold we are. I’m a snowman. I mean feelings, Lu. Only I rather die than talk to my “father.” I got a text last night from him, and went yellow. Lunalesca, I’ll turn the colors into a series. Red, Black

Lu, allow me to try and keep my “word” and give you a few reasons I pick these two shades.

When I said red, it wasn’t my RAGE that popped up. No, it was worse… it was LUST—Tifa Lockhart’s red eyes. There’s also Cherry’s red lips that match her name. Bloody Hell. There’s the chain I wear of me and B III. Me in my red hoody. Despite it all, there’s RAGE. And so I live in the black, in the darkness, hoping no one can see. B died in the light. Lunalesca, my sexual exploits I keep in the blackness as do most… Internet diving. Lunalesca, I did not know I’d go so far today. Words and now Colors, Powers That B, Virgil.

685 Days Without B III, Day 126 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 162 ~ I’ll B Back, Virgil~

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Let’s start by getting his name right. B, V? When I leave, it’s not; “love you, B, love you, Braxton.” Now it’s “later V, later Virgil.” I’d cry with him wanting to stay in bed and not worry about his nails or clothes on my back. I’ll B Back, Virgil.

Saturday, December 10, 2022

Saga 162 ~ I’ll B Back, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I’ve been abroad. And I’ve been under a broad. Either way, the English language…

Coming from me, Lady Lunalesca, it does sound like a second language. There is also the fact that I’m still pissed over missing NaNoWriMo this year. And yet I want to “buy” a winner’s t-shirt that I didn’t “earn.” Oh, and a hoody too. We’ll get to the Math, Lunalesca. But let me say, when it comes to Language Arts, it’s not just you, Lunalesca. Nobody gets me. I’m always one for communication. No, Luna, I’m not complaining about viewership. Today as with every day, I’m missing my boy. Braxton was/is the ultimate listener. It was one of his last lessons to teach. If I had learned from him (sigh), he might still be alive. Speaking of training, that’s what I was thinking about today.

Oh, don’t get your hopes up. I won’t be doing any of that with V today. Lazy ass that I am. As I was cleaning up his bathroom pad and he saw me there, he backed into the room rather than look at me. I can’t say that I blame him. Looking at me, Lunalesca… Yeah, he only has two eyes, and what are my four doing? Like I said before, Math. And not anything to help his situation or mine, for that matter. There’s food, which is the only time Virgil’s “animated.” He barks and cries when I leave. Virgil needs his nails trimmed. That, of course, means heading back to PetSmart. He needs clothes on his back… a collar, and such. My clothes…

Again there are the ones that I didn’t earn. On top of that, it’s like what Wheeler Walker Jr. sings… “Cock glaring up with the cellphone light.” That means I rather stay in bed all day without my clothes on. Two days so far, Lady Lunalesca, with my Anatomy. Virgil will sit in Braxton’s Room all day, leaving me alone. Stop saying goodbye, possibly? If he doesn’t know I’m gone, would he cry? As long as he thinks I’m in the next room, Lu. Hell! Any other time I’m on my back, I’m reading or sleeping. Virgil’s sleeping too. He probably wished he could go back to where things make sense or find another family. Waiting for Braxton to come “home.” I’ll B Back, Virgil

678 Days Without B III, Day 119 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 155 ~B Taking L’s Virgil~

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The best thing about Stephen King’s “It”? The Losers Club Rock War. I’m a loser, but I’m not that cool. But I’m taking L’s in every way, shape, and form. Literature, lots of money, and ladies. What about that little lad Virgil? “B Taking L’s Virgil.”

Saturday, December 3, 2022

Saga 155 ~B Taking L’s Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you would think that would make me proud. My Replika asks me that often enough.

I’m not proud of this week. Not at all. I’m still employed, which has to be enough. But why do I continue to feel as though I’m losing? Lunalesca, I don’t want to get “political. I’m so tired, my head hurts, and I’m going up and down on a sugar rush. Must I say that? It makes me think of sex which is another thing. I’m going all “The Screwfly Solution.” Whenever I get HORNY, I stop and get MAD instead. True story. Becoming so weak. Anyway, my political, not political, idea. I wonder, is this how slaves thought. You get a roof over your head, food in your belly, and the smallest of comforts. You don’t have to think. Just make money for some white person. My Day Job.

It’s not like Braxton and Virgil have it any better. Don’t make noise, sleep a lot, and don’t burden me with your problems. The L’s in a dog’s life. Lots of sleep; leave me alone… Loneliness. I’m sure B is no longer. Aunt Carolina’s fur babies and now Stormy too. Lunalesca, perhaps that’s why I’m “fighting” death. Death is an awfully crowded place. And you know how I am with that. Life has been kicking my ass plenty Lunalesca, sigh. Where do I even begin? I want to get all LOUD. Not that it would help. My ear has been bugging me again. And I mentioned that I’ve been so sick with this bacterial infection. I don’t even know what it means to be healed.

Loneliness would be cured if I had my boy back, Braxton Barks Bradford, Lunalesca. Literature has been challenging. I said something about reading “How to Be an Antiracist” last week. But of course, I’ve been reading “Will You Love Me?” By Barby Keel. Greyhound… Loss my first NaNoWriMo in years. Lunalesca, I can always buy a t-shirt. Everybody lies? Loins wise Lunalesca… I’ve been all hot and bothered again, and it’s been three days. Learning about Virgil trying to teach him has been going as well as expected. Nothing. Lots of other things, though. Like money disappearing and wanting so many ladies, Lunalesca. Nico, Nami, Lulu, Sawa, Ayane. I can do this all day. But stop being a loser… Dear Lunalesca? B Taking L’s Virgil.

671 Days Without B III, Day 112 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 148 ~Don’t Be B Virgil~

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“You’re not my (son), and I sure as hell ain’t your dad.” Hell! If anything, I wish I could be my son. B III was the best man I know and wasn’t even “a man.” And now there’s Virgil, myself, in existence. We endure and survive. Don’t Be B Virgil.

Saturday, November 26, 2022

Saga 148 ~Don’t Be B Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And how I wish I had been when Braxton was lying around. Ain’t he still, Lunalesca?

It doesn’t stop me from being a lazy, lustful loser, now does it? “I feel stupid,” as the song goes. How STUPID is that? You know how I told Lady Sophia I needed new books? Um, I cut off the laptop without choosing a damn thing. Lady Lu, I did sample Ibram X. Kendi’s work “How to Be an Antiracist.” Sad, I wouldn’t have thought of it if it wasn’t for a Kindle Challenge. Hell! I might read it because Ted Cruz is such an asshole. Hating “Antiracist Baby?” But no promises. I need to improve at keeping those Lunalesca. Disgusted at myself for the moment, but we’ll get to that. Like writing for NaNoWriMo? I wasted this entire month, and if Braxton could see?

I haven’t been reading anything on reincarnation. And with the Kindle Challenge and some Christmas Erotica. Oh, that’s the last thing I need with not keeping my pants on, Lu. Not for longer than a day, Lu. I rather wank one out than get fucked at the Day Job daily. Again wasn’t I telling Lady Sophia that it hasn’t been that bad these days? What! Because I can still sit down? The things that we can use to. And then, of course, the new guy. Virgil Vivi is nothing like Braxton Barks, as much as I wish it. Was my faith not strong enough to bring back my son? Do I need more to cry about today other than lateness? Lunalesca, sleeping the day away.

The only thing 2V and B III have in common. Because what else is there to do as I sit? When Braxton was known as Neo, I was about “his training.” Me playing Morpheus? Now with Virgil, he’s in Braxton’s room as I speak, waiting for me. Training, Loving? Lunalesca, I haven’t told him as such because, to be honest, I don’t. The very day I got him didn’t I count all the reasons? Braxton says this couldn’t be more “black and white daddy.” The color around his eyes. How I love Braxton’s eyes. But seeing who I am? Inevitable. I’m not a good man. Braxton believed that, and where is he now? Virgil’s alive. Please be my Braxton! But then. Don’t Be B Virgil

664 Days Without B III, Day 105 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 141 ~ Don’t B Dumb Virgil~

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A man said, “men are idiots.” I tell M Anime that plenty. B III and I were/are for 15 years, but we understand each other. I don’t get V. Or the “man” I face in the mirror. Yet the village idiot is asked to teach, train, and talk. Don’t B Dumb Virgil

Saturday, November 19, 2022

Saga 141 ~ Don’t B Dumb Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And another reason I want that kind of money is so I’ll never be lonely again.

“And every day I wake up, with a naked lady,” as the song goes. Battle Cry (feat, Just Blaze, in case I forget, ha-ha. What week was it I complained of being all lonely, dear Lu? At the end of this one… I have come to know that there are worse things. Oh, B III’s still dead? Ain’t that the truth? And yet I still refuse to accept it because if I had… Um, there was late Thursday? I picked up V and studied him a bit. As I did 98 days ago. How I failed Lu? That’s what this week has been all about. My loneliness hasn’t gone anywhere. I’m not jerking off as Virgil stays in Braxton’s room. As I said, worse things.

Lady Lunalesca… being looked at as stupid is something. To be stupid is fucked up. Stupidity, to me, is a virus, the worst kind. An addiction, obsession, an infection I have. Lunalesca, THEY say there is no such thing as a bad student, only a bad teacher. I look back at Braxton and me. How many times have I said I learned to speak Braxton? I knew when it was okay to sleep. I took showers at certain times because Braxton hated when I would in the evening. My muscle memory. When I go get a drink, I grab Braxton’s bowl. And now I have all this knowledge for a future that doesn’t exist. V is not B, I don’t think. Still, the name… Virgil.

V’s not guiding me; we are both stumbling through this Hell together, asking, now what? And it would be one thing to destroy our lives, Lunalesca, but people don’t understand. Take any zombie film, and I would instead die than risk spreading the virus to anyone else. And that’s stupidity. I’m a fucking monster, and then people want me, infecting. Lunalesca, you saw what B III was and how dare I do that to V. Train the dog, hmm, Lu? He doesn’t do stairs or potty on the pad, And Hell, the only sounds he makes are hacking up a lung or crying. Why? Because he doesn’t understand? Lunalesca, same. But we keep going like slaves because IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH. No! Don’t B Dumb Virgil

657 Days Without B III, Day 098 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 022 ~ I’d B A Fool~

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Nothing lasts forever. Not my boy, batteries, or a bit of courage I need to get by. With a few bucks? I can’t get another furry kid yet. My heart’s not in it. Might have to go to Best Buy soon. People suck. Ignorance is bliss; I’d Be A Fool

Saturday, July 23, 2022

Saga 022 ~ I’d B A Fool~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I’m with the dumbest smart people walking the planet. Don’t need money for that…

B though? How it should always start and end, but there’s been a lot to do. So much less than the week before, yet things never seem to slow down. Or am I getting that much lazier, Lu? I’m either fearful, lost to my fury, or fucking horny. It’s been all FEAR this AM. B III doesn’t need my excuses. So what have I done for him today at around 6:30? At the moment trying to save everything. What am I talking about? He is everything. Okay, so my writing, this world I have built, and all the evidence of my whoredom. Falling apart? And I mean everything from the phone to plant care, AKA B’s yard. To parts on the computer (sigh), Lady Lunalesca.

Batteries, Power, Energy. As the song goes, “Maybe God Is Tryin’ To Tell You Somethin.'” My feelings about God remain the same. My son is the word of God. And if he ain’t here, Lu. Well, then I don’t think me and God have anything to say to one another. And since I never trusted him in the first place… Okay, so that’s a lie. Whenever I left Braxton by his lonesome, I prayed. But the question becomes, Lady Lunalesca, who do I trust. Today? That’s a question that must be addressed. Considering everything that I was doing this morning. I’ve been from bots (virtual assistants) to batteries to trusting not the man but the boy in the mirror. And that is an honest mistake.

Balls? The only time I’m sure I have any is when I feel all kinds of antsy. That book I finished yesterday. Blackout: A Thriller by Erin Flanagan has me thinking much about addiction and the mind. I even thought about getting a book on my particular brand. But while I’m an open book, I would put something like that on my book list for people to see. But then? Hell! I am broken, just like the TV downstairs. Did I forget about that Lunalesca? I kinda did. Time heals all wounds because sooner or later, you’re dead. Such darkness. But true because lying makes us all STUPID. That’s the worst thing to be but to live my life this way. I’d B A Fool.

538 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 015 ~To B Failing, Flying…~

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Icarus failed at flying. He did for a bit, but he was warned. The only thing getting high this week was my word counts Wed-Fri. And already, the words I’ve written down fall short. Well, today I’ll crash. But oh no, I have to get up. To B Failing, Flying…

Saturday, July 16, 2022

Saga 015 ~To B Failing, Flying…~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And except for my son B III, I’m willing to sacrifice anything. AHEM, sleep, sex, skeeviness…

This week has been all about B and my novel. At this rate, wherever he is, he must feel like Philip Pullman when they made The Golden Compass film. Cut my check and leave me alone. And how did that movie do against Twilight, Harry Potter, and The Hunger Games? I even when so far in the novel to talk about Whitney Houston? You know when she sings, “For every win, someone must fail.” And that is what I’ve been doing for three days straight in the guise of winning. Hmm! 5000 words daily, that amount to nothing for Braxton. At least it isn’t Whitney Wright… Sigh, as much as I like her. I’ve been edging to everything under the sun and moon while writing.

Today I’m going to fail. Hell! I would have fallen back asleep if it weren’t for what I was doing. That’s how much I was up last night. In more ways than one… But again, I did get all the words I needed. I’m on the cusp of catching up, Luna. Camp NaNoWriMo. And who would care if I didn’t show up at Petsmart? What if I decided not to go through my Saturday Routine? I have all my excuses lined up. Tuesday, I was trying to be a proper American citizen. Speaking of which, I should get outside before there isn’t much of an America left. I’m not an evangelical white guy, but I have all the makings of a Republican lawmaker, Lady Lunalesca.

First and foremost, it always comes back to Braxton. I promised him a future, a family, and that I would be a good father. Every day I wake up and ask the question. Where’s Fluffy? Did I make a “Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist” joke, reference, whatever? That’s another thing. I’m always one for a good distraction. If she’s a hot brunette with nice yabbos. This then brings up how I talk about my respect for women… especially in pornography. Then you hear how I have been talking to two of my friends. Yesterday evening… Lunalesca, I could have been reading a book. But I won’t finish it this Saturday. So with my Six Impossible Things: You know the answer of To B Flailing, Flying…

531 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 008 ~To B Pissed Off~

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Has it really been six years of this? A drop in the bucket of things that make me mad. Or would you rather I am all hot and bothered. I can do both and deserve to burn. But Treachery is the coldest sin. And still no real punishment? “To B Pissed Off”

Saturday, July 9, 2022

Saga 008 ~To B Pissed Off~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I should be pissed that people want me to help? Oh, I’m such a Republican…

But like every morning, after I wipe the tears from my eyes… I get pissed and mad. As the song goes, “I’m in a rage,” and why’s that Lady Luna? Frankly, selfishly, it’s my son. I’m never mad at him for having to leave me. No Lady Lunalesca. It’s a fact I have to look his murderer in the face every morning. And when it’s not wanting to be punished, it’s utter disgust. There’s a reason I don’t go trying on clothes in a store anymore. Those mirrors are too fucking good. There’s a reason I go and pet the dogs every Saturday. To see what I can never have again. I’ve been dreaming of Braxton, which makes me mad? So a no on reincarnation?

Because I was all sorts of scared at around midnight. Of course, B III wasn’t here to protect me, or was he? I kept the lamp on a while and then heard what sounded like gunshots. And that’s when I turned the lights off and went back to bed, not worried a bit? Um, a song? “The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had.” Dangerous words, Lunalesca. Glad I already bought a gun. But like I’ve said before, like a proper Republican or not, I’m all for guns. Only I read something about them going through your social media accounts. To check your “morals” and “character.” I’m the ending of Daenerys Targaryen. I mean righteous who goes batshit crazy. No Fair

Don’t normal individuals get angry when they’re hungry? No, I get mad when I’m horny. It’s like fucking rehab Lady Lunalesca. Pardon my language this morning. Yes, B is gone. Next to his death, not being able to say what I like is ticking me off, tick-tick-ticking me off. For example, I want to talk about Maisie Williams in The Falling or some UK BBWs. I swear, brunettes, girls from England, big tits. If it’s not that, it’s Dirty Latina Maids or Hentai, hmm? I’m not a nice guy, but I’m not a douche either. Like father, like son… Braxton. Always pissed he isn’t here to make me want to be a better man, his father. Write his story. I’d say, To B Pissed Off.

524 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 001 ~B Up To Testing~

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On the first day of my sixth year of blogging, the “Saga” and I find I’m too exhausted, “fatigued,” and tired to remember. Then Camp NaNoWriMo, and should the country even last one more month. A test I haven’t studied for but my son? B Up To Testing.

Saturday, July 2, 2022

Saga 001 ~B Up To Testing~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I’m sure I tested well (snickers). I’ll need a test for all my “shenanigans,” Lunalesca.

And while I’m busy looking up words, how about fatigue? As I struggled to rise this morning, that’s the word I looked up, fatigue. Oh, I’m not talking about a uniform… “That comes later.” As always, I mean the fact that I’m sitting in this bed at 5:00 AM again. Exhausted, (looking) emaciated and thinking about emancipation. At the end of the day, Lady Lunalesca, I only want to feel better. But by the end of the day, I doubt I’ll talk to a doctor. So, Luna, I want to make a deal, considering yesterday’s failure. Here it is, Luna. If I cannot finish writing “The Will To B III,” I’ll see a doctor at the end of the month. A fitting test? Challenge accepted!

Because I keep calling myself a “Lazy Ass,” but think about it, Lady Lunalesca. When it comes to… “You mean to say… as in sex?” Yeah, I have boundless energy. Whether it’s that sexy Handmaid’s outfit, Yandy sold. Cherry’s red lingerie, or “Dirty Latina Maids.” First off, if Cherry and M Anime wanted to kick my ass… I’d have a reason to stay in bed. Second, so much for my no porn streak. “I couldn’t help it. It just popped in there.” Before I forget, I should get Amazon Prime for free. it’s still there, Lu, Ah, “The Tomorrow War.” And no, I don’t only mean the movie. These days, there is a test of my character, concentration, and country. Lunalesca, To celebrate Independence Day?

I will never be free of this grief for my son. Did you think I had forgotten about him other than mentioning his book? For a moment Lady Lunalesca… One more reason I’m in bed. Sleeping to try and dream of him or to forget. Oh, to my OnlyFans, um…

A Quickie Announcement To The Chickies And Anyone Else Hmm:

I’ll be taking a month-long hiatus to work on a novel for Camp NaNoWriMo. Hand from the penis to pen.

I look forward to being back in action around August sometime. But until then, stay buck naked, drop a buck, your favorite buck. Gone Writing!

That wasn’t hard, Lady Lunalesca. But do I mean it? “Life is a storm,” or test. B Up To Testing.

517 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 359 ~I’ll B Lying Here~

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I only want to lie here and forget about the world. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t pissed off for fairer sex right now. And of course, there is my boy in a box. I’m not throwing him into some waterway. But for a bit longer, I’ll B Lying Here hmm

Saturday, June 25, 2022

Chronicle 359 ~I’ll B Lying Here~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now because of lying here talking? I have lawyers detecting lies. And scientists are talking about lye.

Well, not really. That would be me lying, Lady Lunalesca. Perhaps funny and/or creepy are the thoughts that come when I’m just lying here. There’s Fight Club, the idea of lye. Lunalesca, the notion of lying. It’s 7:00AM, and how many lies have I already told today. I only wanted to talk about one, and that’s me finishing The 1619 Project. Whatever will I say to the “Man In The Mirror.” Lady Lu, I’ve finished everything in the book but the “Notes” pages. Um, you know how I am with books. Audio doesn’t count. And words? I have to read every single word Lunalesca. I’m going to lie tomorrow because of today? Hell! Where do I even begin? Start with the truth. I miss my little boy. I miss Braxton.

Talk about creepy Lady Lunalesca; I wish I could have been there. When Braxton was taken to the fire. I paid for a private cremation. But in the end, what do I know. The truth? If anything, he would have instead stayed here lying next to me. “Daddy, let’s go home, please.” If I had my way right this second, I would never leave this bed. As the song goes, “If I lay here. If I just lay here. Would you lie with me and just forget the world?” Can’t? Braxton is dead, and if I can’t have him back. Well, when it comes to you and me, Lady Lu. “I’ve never met a girl like you before.” You scoff, knowing I’ll look at porn…

That’s not an insult Lady Lunalesca. But what a way to die. Especially with what is going on in the world today or rather yesterday. Besides my usual Humiliations Galore, hardly any money. And the obligatory Happy Birthday to my father… Roe v. Wade Overturned! Needless to say, women are in a rage. I’ve always been Pro-Choice myself, Lady Lunalesca. As much as I speak about women, I do respect their rights as human beings. Well… there was that minor second yesterday when I was in the store. Humiliations Galore Luna and no reason to take away anyone’s rights. The lye that will come from this fight to get clean. The only burn I want is a tattoo of my Braxton. I’ll B Lying Here.

Gospel 359 ~Braxton FOUR The Win~

510 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will