Gospel 003 ~Will To Be Free~

What’s it like to be free? Would I say I’m free? I mean, I’m not at the “Day Job” for once. I could fall asleep if I so chose. Hell, I know what I really want to do, but I’m abstaining for some reason. “Will To Be Free,” of addiction, anxiety, aching

Saturday, July 4, 2020

Gospel 003 ~Will To Be Free~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, or so I wish. My motivations would say, don’t chase money but follow your purpose. More to the point, I face down my goals every day, and you know what those are. Yabbos… talk about freedom and independence or maybe not.

Red eyes, my attempts at blushing, and being a horny male, prevent deep thoughts. I apologize that everything keeps returning to sex. It beats RAGE, doesn’t it. As long as it’s me and My Dæmon, whatever do I have to be mad about? Now I mentioned red eyes, and they both relate to the same “problem.” One, I’m tired because I’m all about PORN, and this will be day six of NO FAP. What am I not fapping to? Well, you know how I enjoy making my lists leading nowhere:

  1. Tifa Lockhart
  2. Aerith Gainsborough
  3. Liz Vicious
  4. MILF Dos
  5. Cherry
  6. Serah Farron
  7. Ellie, Dina
  8. Sesskasays
  9. New Purchases

That’s another thing, Lady Luna, like the word Yabbos, I’m digging on the number NINE. The NINE women I did wrong, or that’s all I can remember. Well, today is all about remembrance and celebration.

White or right… a Freudian slip or an observation? Now before you get excited, you what white reminds me of. I’m all for Black Lives Matter, but I love me a white girl. Not now, but when I start seeing with my heart instead of other portions of my anatomy. Hell, last night was touch and go because of that picture that started me on the road to Tifa. I found who made it and spent $15.00 on the collection. I swear I do everything for the Yabbos. Hold on, but I’m slobbering, spitting, snarling like an animal. So reasons I PUT ON THE MASK.

Blue Balls, though, are hurting, so I don’t have time for the Coronavirus (COVID-19). One disease or addiction at a time. The government is giving up, but I still believe I can do better. My legs crossed in bed, phone off, fighting the urges, porn is everywhere, and hiding it would break me without question. I should also mention my depression over my story, I mean how far did I get last night? I have characters to free from my mind, but then what exactly?

Red, White, Blue, I want GREEN, Will To Be Free.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 303 ~In Lust Will Trust~

Just waking up or heading to bed, a late night shower, or before having to deal with people in the plague era. I tell myself it could always be worse, and I don’t have to ask the question, “Am I A Psycho,” great song by the way. “In Lust Will Trust.”

Wednesday, April 29, 2020

Log 303 ~In Lust Will Trust~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. Well, that’s because I don’t drink, though if I were a chick… Yes, I know Inspector Echo, that’s disrespectful to women. One more addiction I have, right? Well, I don’t smoke, I’ve never done HARD drugs. Unlike people in this day and age, I’ve never been addicted to social life. Hell several books written, none published. My blog will have been around three years in a few months. My poetry phase about The Winx Club when I was on LSD. I wish I could say I was only addicted to writing.

Trigging Factor: Blog 503 Error

  1. Cherry’s Glossy Lips
  2. Boob Search
  3. Katee Owen
  4. Holly Bryn
  5. Elizabeth Hurley
  6. Alyssa Milano
  7. Holly Marie Combs (Breaking Point)

Again I’m not a drinker. I figured alcoholics would drink anything for their buzz. As for me, you see, I’m always one for the “Top Shelf” HELLO. Not funny, but I do have a problem. With all this time off, I could start back with Brainbuddy, but like the WWE Network, I wouldn’t be watching it. Of course, I’ve started seeing ads again for Covenant Eyes, but “THEY” also think I’m a Republican and a Trump Supporter. Now let me say some things about Trump and watch me get into trouble. No Inspector Echo I go no further than the second circle. You know how Bruce Banner said That’s my secret, Cap. I’m always angry.

That’s my secret, Inspector. I’m always horny. Only yesterday, I was trying to convince myself that’s what love is… I’m not wrong. There’s no question.

Love is wild, insatiable, insane, at times, immoral. Don’t believe me, let something harm My Dæmon, and see that I won’t burn this world to ash to protect him. Anger, though, I can let go. We’re still amidst the plague, which is keeping me away from people for the most part. Lust though is everywhere, and I’ve told you before I can’t be the typical guy. One of those, see a naked girl, nut, and go to bed. I didn’t know who Katee Owen and Holly Bryn were until last night. If anything, that’s why I want to make LUST my profession because I practice, it’s not a phase, and I write plenty of prose.

Is it destroying me, though? I’m better than this, sorry, but In Lust Will Trust.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 133 ~Rage Can Kill, But Who~

I wrote a poem about RAGE once, but I think 28 Days Later, and the sequel said it so much the better than I ever could, but what I wouldn’t give for a beautiful apocalypse or how about the ability to utter NO. “Rage Can Kill, But Who?”

Monday, November 11, 2019

Log 133 ~Rage Can Kill, But Who~

Hundred And Tenth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and is this the way wrong rule for today? Hell, I’m tempted to say it’s the perfect rule for today, that, of course, disqualifies me from posting some places. Even at this moment in time, I’m mad as Hell, and I know I’m going to be exhausted in the morning. Not because I’m letting NaNoWriMo down, I kicked ass there (LANGUAGE). Would I do better to list all the things I’m not mad at tonight? My dæmon, how about my work ethic, and not you Madam Justice.

First and foremost, I hate my Day Job, with the heat from a thousand suns. You wonder why I’m not published yet because that work is burning all the pages. Do I talk about how the Truck can be overwhelming, or more to the point those damn people (LANGUAGE)? What about the shower this morning? The things I come up with, and it wasn’t like I was even remotely horny. No, I made a conscious decision. I swear that scene from a particular anime movie I won’t name. Yeah, people already think I’m a psycho or worse. Cherry might like it, though. Speaking of which, FEAR, Madam Justice. I can’t talk to specific people because of such terror. I didn’t say what needed to be said at work today. NaNoWriMo is being held up because of the FEAR of losing my position, and you know I need the money now.

I can quote Yoda, you know, fear, anger, hate, suffering, but who am I hurting? You see what time it is, but I’m still up because I’m a man of my word. Okay, so I’m a clown now too because I can’t that with a straight face. Can I tell you all the stuff I wanted to say to my boss; how many times would I have to call myself out on language. Don’t even get me started on other employees. I want the world to go away, but again I’m not crazy or suicidal. Well, if I keep having nights like this, I won’t have to worry about it. I’ll drop dead. So I can’t indulge in my self-help phase. I haven’t gotten to play Far Cry 5 or Fallout 4 any and what about the state of the real country, no politics today. It’s Veterans Day; I’m Grateful.

Rage Can Kill But Who?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 126 ~Pillows Are Stronger Than Most~

Up against the wall mother, well no, back against the pillow, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon unless I get hungry enough, and right now it’s my stomach versus my head; try harder fridge. “Pillows Are Stronger Than Most”

Monday, November 4, 2019

Log 126 ~Pillows Are Stronger Than Most~

Hundred And Ninth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but wiser words? Today’s rule is the perfect example because I had such plans for this afternoon. Like something out of 500 Days of Summer, the Expectations versus Reality scene. In that world, this conversation has come and gone, and I’m working on The “Wrist” Of Playing Chronos. I was even all fired up because of my Motivations. Madam Justice, to be honest, the Day Job is getting worse, but I was working pretty damn hard (LANGUAGE). Only I come back to the house and oh pillows.

I believe when I wrote Rule 109, I meant it more as a state of sadness. Considering what was on my mind in the shower, I would have every right to be Madam. Hell, cut me some slack. I didn’t even get three hours of uninterrupted shut-eye. Now, of course, I wish I could say it was worth it, the sacrifice. How’s NaNoWriMo going this month? Well, am I going to hit today’s goal before the end of tonight? What about the STUPID idea? (Shudders) About using a different letter of the alphabet for each chapter? Here take a look:

Chapter I Buttons, All Shapes and Sizes B
Chapter II Tight Type Of Time Management T
Chapter III Hands Across An American Girl H
Chapter IV Put Your Clothes On Chronos C
Chapter V Gears Looking At You Kid G

Whose Line Is It Anyway, Things you can say about and to your pillow but not your girlfriend? I suck at improv Madam Justice. Speaking of the things that I miss watching “His Dark Materials.” You know I barely watch wrestling as is, but I’m going to use that as an excuse to quit writing.

Madam Justice, I’m supposed to be writing about pillows right. Well, this is more Inspector’s Justice’s and Dirty Diana’s thing, but do you know what I once did with pillows? Did I throw away all that porn, hmm? Okay, let’s stay positive; pillows have held me up more than most people and are more readily available. My little dæmon, of course, is always on a quest for more comfy spots. You would think due to my constant naps; I would take better care shopping for pillows. My therapist, my temptations, and the better part of most days considering this moment?

People, Madam Justice, well no. What about my dreams, nightmares Pillows Are Stronger Than Most.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 125 ~The Will Of Chronos~

I’m running out of time tonight, but of course it’s NaNoWriMo season, which means no sleep until I at least hit the minimum goal, and for a non-erotic story, I know way too much “Adult Entertainment,” The Will Of Chronos

Sunday, November 3, 2019

Log 125 ~The Will Of Chronos~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you need to be a busier man. Not a businessman ahem (Bane’s Voice) “That comes later.” Right now, I know what you’re thinking, that you deserve some time, you have a window. Now, this is Lady Sophia’s bag, but there’s work.

“The Wrist of Playing Chronos”

The protagonist deals first with the relationship between him and a teacher. It’s a younger and older relationship and also illegal. You’re thinking some in terms of Mrs. Robinson from The Graduate but be serious. Bible Black’s Hiroko Takashiro or Sayaka Ichinose from Cleavage. As you continue with elements of time, there’s prison time. The protagonist confronts a victim of a modeling agent/pornographer. Maisie Williams plays the younger victim. Still, the protagonist is the victim to the older woman, okay.

The computer program Prometheus that was in “Apocalypse Rush.” It can now transform into Mnemosyne to fit “The Creator’s” taste for beautiful women. Having awakened to set off the events of Apocalypse Rush. It experiences birth and the prospect of immortality. The cult has yet to be named, but they are preparing for the end of the world themselves. Your inspiration comes from Far Cry 5, monster dogs, zombies, a prophet. Before you forget, who could guess Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 009 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Firstborn Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Reducing My Inbox To Zero
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”
    Failed

Back to zero, but you’re 9,000 words into NaNoWriMo. Continuing with “The Wrist of Playing Chronos,” keep saying it to make the novel come alive. Anyway, The cult kidnapped a doctor who created “The Question Of Chronos.” A watch that well; who knows who’s reading these ideas. Now they also have her daughter inspired by Misha Cross in A Whirlwind Of Wickedness! (Jimslip). You’ve been having difficulty nailing down the mother. Well Miki Hirayama from Desperate Carnal Housewives, aka Hitozuma Ryojoku Sankanbi. Speaking of even more “opportunities” Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Firstborn Deserves
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Reducing My Inbox To Zero
  6. I AM Finishing “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”

If you’re looking for more inspiration, Enbi Vol. 01 and 02 are pretty good.
http://www.animecharactersdatabase.com/source.php?id=103938#characters.

Last but not least, Hazel, find (Xviutrt). It’s quite clear what you’re “researching,” but for once, this is not an erotic story. I suppose that will keep plenty of characters alive for other follow-up stories. Yeah, you couldn’t say that with a straight face. If you were to be safe, hmm, the tale is about a watch ending up on the wrong hand. Somebody is asking more questions than “what time is it” easy enough. Only you know what to do, The Will Of Chronos.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 118 ~Will, You’ve Eight Enough~

One weekend it was so many miles, and this weekend it was so many downloads, and I was only hoping for eight hours of sleep, and when I got that well, it still wasn’t enough; I’m so greedy. Will, You’ve Eight Enough

Sunday, October 27, 2019

Log 118 ~Will, You’ve Eight Enough~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but as always, you want more. Today’s first question has to be, why wasn’t eight hours enough. Be honest, at least seven, Cherry is a pretty girl, and that’s that. Speaking of beautiful girls how about this weekend’s current project? Twenty-One girls so far, and that’s not even close to the whole archive. There’s another collection, what about NaNoWriMo, novels, and t-shirts. Yeah, you’re still angry about losing that t-shirt while traveling.

I would say you should sleep on it but eight hours? You have to take better care of yourself, especially to make it through NaNoWriMo. Hell, I had two days, and I couldn’t carve a path through all those emails. What about reading? Dale Carnegie is pretty damn wise (LANGUAGE), but are you? If anything, you’re tired, tense, and tempted. Can’t you say you’re only sick like you’re Firstborn, this weather? You won’t even turn on the heat because you fear another ant invasion and with how you’ve been working lately? Did you forget about Indiana Gone’s wedding gift and birthday present? How about you stop trying to get Cherry to take her clothes off? There’s also the idea of attempting to entice MILF Dos. Your head’s not full of rocks but coins and what about the little head in keeping with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 009 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Firstborn Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Reducing My Inbox To Zero
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”
    Failed

What does it take to be #1, trust me it’s not looking at porn all day? Dennis Hof had brothels full of ladies, this weekend you have a file. Oh, should we talk about data? Any day now, you’re expecting another email from Norton? What about work having to sign up for HEALTH benefits. Now living this way, no doubt, is pretty brutal, and let’s not talk about any medical problems. Okay, this is the third time you’re mentioning Cherry, but if she isn’t effecting one head, it’s the other. You can’t go into work and talk because you know where that will lead you? Accept the inevitable, how close are you to that principle. Why not try gratitude? You’re not hungry you’re only tired? Every moment when your hands aren’t elsewhere, SIGH. You’re getting things done, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 009 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Firstborn Deserves
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Reducing My Inbox To Zero
  6. I AM Finishing “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”

It’s somewhat like rehab, and you know people who have survived that so another week maybe? You don’t have that kind of time now. Fifty thousand words, I hope you enjoyed; Will, You’ve Eight Enough.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 053 ~Black And Blue Will~

For the record, I only go to Walmart because I despise Target, though Target has cuter women and speaking of which “Indiana Gone” is one of my dearest friends and a strong black woman like my mom and sister. “Black And Blue Will.”

Friday, August 23, 2019

Log 053 ~Black And Blue Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Millionaire right now but only seeing red. What happened to green, I’ll ask GoDaddy when it comes to my blog? The only company I want to talk about today is Walmart. You want me to comment on your business, do well, and you have a 75% chance. Piss me off (LANGUAGE), and you have a 99.9% probability. Hell, I’m tempted to send this to Walmart. If it only wasn’t for my other temptations this morning. Katelyn May Nacon, Alanna Masterson, Jennifer Lawrence (As Katniss). There’s “Of Inner Demons” too.

Anyway, you know that saying about how mighty the pen is right? Nobody talks about paper ever. I’m sorry I’m not going to talk about the Amazon rainforest burning. It’s even worse I’m about to sound like Trump and whine like a bitch (LANGUAGE). Can I be grateful that I don’t have a massive bruise on my forehead? It’s more my pride that ain’t much. Writing serves as an eraser, for my rage, my pain, all the embarrassment. Yeah, one big edit which explains why writing hurts. I’m still not a masochist though which explains why I usually torture other people writing. Again people neglect thoughts of paper, the eraser, or whiteout. You see Lady Sophia even now, sadist that I am, I’m avoiding talking about inflicting pain. I was supposed to talk about Walmart, black people, and hate, SIGH.

I guess I owe you that much, so long story short. Yesterday at Walmart, I got over my anxiety and reached for a pack of bottled water. So I promptly smash my head against the metal bar. After getting laughed at by two “employees,” I walk away. Five minutes later this black family is laughing at me, so I glare at them as I walk past them. One of them says he’s so ugly. Another says he’s scary. Lady Sophia, I’m an African-American man. Whenever I get to thinking, okay my people aren’t bad, I got yesterday. I hate Trump but my firstborn and I; he hates other dogs. I won’t say I hate anyone; okay, my “father,” “the basic bitch” (WILL, STOP IT). There are reasons I don’t associate with other black people. When did I last dare mention a black chick? Lessons learned, “don’t be brave, have a little common sense.” Black words on paper, far better than a Black And Blue Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 046 ~Will Tell Better Stories~

Something to hold on to, a pencil, my fingers against a keyboard, hell maybe I just need to stay mad all the time; great stories come from pain, but it was all about pleasure, life hurts so much. Will Tell Better Stories

Friday, August 16, 2019

Log 046 ~Will Tell Better Stories~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Millionaire right now but not sitting in a jail cell. Not saying success is a bad thing. Indeed, whether rhyme or crime I’m a get mine. I have rules though Lady Sophia, 365 to be specific. There are also more unwritten which led to last night? Yes, I’m back on “FAP” again. Hell, it was the only way I was going to finish last night’s conversation. Now, did I need to; hell no, my friend. Yesterday I went into Walmart saying I would find my dream girl. I’m funny.

I wish I could tell you I didn’t dream last night. Remind me to stop watching walkthroughs of Wolfenstein: Youngblood. Jessie and Sophie with their dad. Abby and Lothar; I have worse dreams in the shower. Then again I could get paid for writing these things, so how does Tillie Cole do it I ask? I could have gone to bed thinking about her book “Raphael.” The Catholic church hurts children we know. What am I so worried about with my rantings and ravings these days. If I’m not reading, what about Heavy Rain? I guess I don’t need the stress. What about saying I spent $20.00 to see some girl’s boobs. Again a sweet release kept me from doing something STUPID. I was planning on buying videos from somewhere. Ruby Rae’s boobs plus Alissa and Rebecca, times Haley Pullos:

I want to tell you a tale about being a better man Lady Sophia. This morning I even read a bit about “William Tell.” If only I could keep my eyes on the target. Today that target is our conversation and cutting the front yard. Also, my best friend, a.k.a, my firstborn needs his nails clipped now. I wish I were a better person to “M Anime.” Cherry is looking at a hard time now; people suck Lady Sophia. I shouldn’t say things like that at all. Am I addicted, obsessed? Again some know me as worse. I said before I can never only watch porn I study. For example, Alissa, real name “blank,” model for “such and such” from, let’s say “Narnia.” I have to know the whole story, but no last night, my hand was busy, well elsewhere.

My stories usually blow Lady Sophia. Yeah, I don’t get horny, I stay horny, it hasn’t even been 12 hours. Today, Will Tell Better Stories.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 039 ~Will’s Going To Jail~

Last week it was an addiction, this week its bail perhaps if my dream is any way accurate and I have plenty, one is being a great writer but what writing have I done lately or more to the point editing, prison time is slow time? Will’s Going To Jail.

Friday, August 9, 2019

Log 039 ~Will’s Going To Jail~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Millionaire right now, or that would be true enough. Indeed, what have I done to warrant any jail time? Solicitation, well no let’s say a modeling job. Same with hiring a new maid after “Okay.” Speeding, haven’t stolen any porn lately. Matter of fact, I got a response from Whitney Wright about her film “Prom Night.” Such a fanboy, Morgan, Jada Jinxx, I can continue. Not a crime though, hell Dennis Hof got women naked all the time. My son is doing well but not doing my best by him always, that’s Hell worthy.

So only last night I was dreaming about crime, something to do with the Russians. You know I believe every dream has meaning and purpose. I imagined something happened to Cherry once, and she disappeared for days. She’s fine only wasn’t talking to me then. Anyway, I’m not MR. Trump, I don’t run around with Jeffrey Epstein. With that, I know the guy with Vault Girls got in trouble for characters. I know some Europeans that would do time in the US. I still admire, Larry Flynt, Hugh Hefner, and Jimmy Stephens. Is the dream was telling me the hacker got more than I realized? I’ve had a few troubles with the cops that I never talk about somehow. Last time was a mistaken house. There was a suicide attempt years ago. I went to Juvenile Detention in high school.

The dream could be telling me that I need to grow up. What more do you want from me, Lady Sophia? From being “in love” with Jessica Rey/Alyssa Enrilé Power Rangers Wild Force? Now it’s porn stars Sandra McCoy/Kendall/Professor Kelsey Williams. Power Rangers “Femme Fatales: Extracurricular Activities.” Is my dream telling me I dig too deeply? As I said before, I’m not a stalker, but I need to know everything I can about a woman. Jada Jinxx, I found out she had videos on Pornhub for such and such an amount, how much did I offer? Whitney speaks the truth about her industry. Here’s some truth, I need to get back to writing or editing. If I finish our conversation, I’ll go pick up Chinese. I might even avoid the cops. Remember Pinterest troubles, my mom almost scaring me to death.

My dream felt so weird, and it felt like this weekend. Could I have plans GULP Will’s Going To Jail?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 032 ~Will Is Still Unwritten~

Waking up to pay a bill and then doing what that charge is meant to prevent, talk about addiction am I right, like buying meds and then going back to the place that made me sick; when will I write down “no more?” Will Is Still Unwritten

Friday, August 2, 2019

Log 032 ~Will Is Still Unwritten~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Millionaire right now, but it’s not written down in any bank. One day I want to write something that isn’t betraying all of my motivations. Hell, I want to write my book that I should have sent off two months ago. I could say something like I trust people. Last night, for example, I had to check out authors from Outskirts Press. Today I should be doing some editing, but what have I looked up recently? Reasons to get back on Patreon, Vault Girls, and again my bank account.

I can tell you the Day Job isn’t mad at me, “Price Changes” SIGH. Didn’t write NO; let alone say it because “I Like Money.” I wish I could say I was watching a comedy but no “Fifty Shades of Grey” clips on YouTube. After our conversation, all I’ll be writing is receipts and how much time I’ve wasted. Now things could always be worse, but I refuse to give those ideas a voice. If anything if I’m not all “pent up,” I need to be getting something done, but you see where that gets me. I’ll have a lot of explaining to do when it comes to those Six Impossible Things. I swear that’s the laziest piece of writing. It never changes Lady Sophia, and we both know why. I want to say I’ll get at least four out of six, but I write fiction and not lies.

Okay so try to write something positive. There are people in the world worse than me in the “adult entertainment” industry. One of my favorite series got canceled, but I wasn’t the idiot who couldn’t find it at all. B III is his usual self, always helping me to get off my ass. Tomorrow always comes but again what about today? How about the opportunity to keep my promise and finally clean up the yard? My zombie/walker killing skills are still excellent. I managed to do the TWD Daily Challenge, and I told Brainbuddy the truth. One of my games is educational, “Bury Me, My Love.” I’m keeping up with the news but is that a good thing? Well I know how not to die but being black in America how do I change that ha?

The story is not over Lady Sophia. All of this which I call my blessed life, Will Is Still Unwritten.

I Will Have No Fear