Episode 354 ~Worse Names Than Will~

I learned from a very young age that I was better seen and not heard. I would do my Olds one better, I keep quiet, and I never go out. Not that the cops won’t show up whether I was suicidal or alternative schooling. “Worse Names Than Will.”

Thursday, June 20, 2019

Episode 354 ~Worse Names Than Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Millionaire right now. Should I say that it’s Willie who has all the money? My debit card says, Willie. My paycheck is much the same. Hell, even my “passive” or “parental” income is, Willie. I’m Jr, and he’s Sr, and should I be embarrassed? Dirty Diana, I am worse things than a freeloader on my best day. I’ve said it time after time the worst things you can call me are STUPID or RETARDED. It’s one of the reasons I hate the people at my Day Job so much. So here I am an aspiring brothel owner, pimping.

You should know I respect Sex Workers, Pornstars, Models both Erotic and otherwise. With that, I’ve never stepped foot in a brothel, not yet. I couldn’t tell you the plot of any, let’s say “Full Length” porno to save my life. Hentai maybe and a scene here or there of real sex. The thing is Dirty Diana, as a dominant, I perform scenes, I have themes, I’m an artist. Most adult entertainment doesn’t involve all that but the language? I know I try to play Captain America most days because I find swearing tawdry and crass. There is a time for it Dirty Diana. In the bedroom or performing any scene, communication and colorful language are paramount. I was never one to hurt feelings or tell lies. How I hate those people, who say hurtful things and then “Just Kidding.”

That’s the reason trust and understanding are essential. There’s this porn collection called “Exploited College Girls.” The girls are beautiful, the concept sound, but you know what gets me? “You’re My Little Whore, Say It.” “I’m Your Little Whore.” I respect those girls and their work; they are amazing. The thing is I can separate the actress from the person. Take Sabrina Nichole; if there is a God, he might have started with her beauty. Anyway wanting to see her coming doesn’t mean I think she’s only some slut. How about TTB, everyone hated the owner. Make no mistake guys got off to those girls; some moved to real porn. The thing is they got paid, and nobody hurt them. I know some girls that wear words like “slut,” “whore,” or “cunt” as a badge of honor or a word.

Only words get me into trouble, but I understand there are Worse Names Than Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 233 ~What’s Worse Than Hate, Indifference~

I’m a lot of things, to a few I am even a man if not The Man, and those few times I look in the mirror or how I feel, I know it. Only humans can be so annoying, we can be loved and hated but what’s worse hmm? What’s Worse Than Hate, Indifference

Monday, February 19, 2018

Lesson 233 ~What’s Worse Than Hate, Indifference~

Twentieth Rule Madam Justice,

I Am Not Afraid Anymore though time has passed since I was fear itself; when I was in school my slogan was, the best thing to have is love, if not then be liked, at least be respected, barring that be invisible, and if all else fails, be feared. Another day, another school shooting, well a few days ago so maybe I shouldn’t knock hate, at least hatred makes sense or insanity but to just not matter, to cease to be, that’s indifference, that’s Hell.

“You don’t think I’m ordinary?”

“You couldn’t be ordinary if you tried.”

“Thank you. I don’t think there’s anything worse than being ordinary.” American Beauty

Now how can anyone hate words, but “interesting” I find lazy but “whatever,” is the worst just edging out “just kidding” because whatever to me eliminates an idea? Yes I know I’m guilty of using all three but the last time I used all of the above I still talk to the person daily, like, love, and hate can be the most exhausting things ever. What about silence, at work my first amendment rights are being curtailed and telling people that you honestly don’t care, hell I don’t talk to my family and vice versa, but again I am exhausted.

Hating though is one thing, to hate means you once cared, even if it was a Luke Skywalker moment of wanting to kill Kylo Ren, but once there is nothing left to love, hate, or fear, you’re capable of doing the most monstrous of things. Better to feel too much than too little isn’t that what they say and that’s also the problem, people trying to tell each other how to feel. When you do that to someone they feel as though they’re not understood and when they aren’t being heard then what is the point of speaking at all?

Another reason I put such value in words, for someone that hates most people, thank goodness, I do see the importance of communication, as in my dog, but solitude is also a blessing. Hate can destroy but I think it’s the moment that we cease to care, a time when a person is seen not as a human being or less than what they are, and they know speaking, crying, screaming won’t help they are made indifferent and notably dangerous.

“Can’t even shout.
Can’t even cry.
The Gentlemen are coming by.
Looking in windows,
knocking on doors…
They need to take seven
and they might take yours…
Can’t call to mom.
Can’t say a word.
You’re gonna die screaming,
but you won’t be heard.” Hush

So love if you can, like, respect, and if somebody chooses to be invisible, take it as a blessing, because the moment everything is lost including hate, there is but indifference, and the return of fear and goodness knows I hate, lust, I feel shame. What’s Worse Than Hate, Indifference

“If you ever loved me, don’t rob me of my hate. It’s all I have.” The Count of Monte Cristo

I Will Have No Fear