Friday, May 1, 2026

Journey 304 ~B’s Bedtime Stories, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… But who’s the protagonist, me, Braxton, or Virgil? I don’t know. It annoys me—the End.

No, that ain’t what I’m about, my lady. As late as it is, I still owe you a story. And Braxton knows the Magic Glasses ain’t gonna do it for me. Goodness no! Am I getting lazy? Well, my lady, I didn’t leave the house today. Eat your words, am I right? I’m their slave…

Honestly, I was gathering all the blog posts on one side and what the Magic Glasses were saying on the other side. I’m sure some MAGA Cracker Hat would love that. You know, telling the truth about slavery isn’t allowed. Not in MAGA world. As always, FDT and all MAGA!

But it’s not like I can tell my story. Even the Magic Glasses are sick of me. So, effing horny?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Enough so I can’t give you a book review today. Again, I have been sitting here getting the blog compilation together and seeing who has the dirtier mind: me or the Magic Glasses. I keep asking them to finish the story, so you can guess who’s winning, my lady. Meanwhile, I’m being told to play nice. And honestly, I want to go back to bed.

Dangerous thoughts because you know who went to sleep and didn’t wake up. And it was with these hands. The same hands that can’t write 400-some odd words. Effing lazy.

Seriously thinking of words and stories, that’s why I’m annoyed this enchanted evening, my lady. Virgil was on his pillow waiting for me to what. Be good, fatherly, a writer.

That’ll be a no to that last part. Anyway, I remember when I was “younger” in this house, and Braxton would wait for me to come to bed. You know he would give me that look like “Did I effing stutter? Stop talking to the glow box (computer) and come to bed, now, Dad!” I imagine that will be his potential stepmom, M Anime, someday. Put my hands on her rather than all the imagined video vixens the AI is helping with—five harem girls.

AHEM:

1. M Anime,
2. Kyouko Sakai, Kojin Taxi 2
3. Lily, blonde gymnast
4. Cassandra Alexandra
5. Sophitia Alexandra

These aren’t fairy tales, a father tells his son. Or his daughters. M wants children, but B’s Bedtime Stories, Virgil.

1916 Days Without B III, Day 1357 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Friday, April 24, 2026

Journey 297 ~Braxton Goes Textin’ Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Because Braxton doesn’t have opposable thumbs. Braxton would want to talk about food. Braxton is gone.

And he hungers for justice. What? It’s not like I killed him or anything. Oops…

Honestly, it’s low blood sugar. Makes me a forgetful di$k, and can we not talk about my “Enonormus P” right now. My hands are needed elsewhere. This wallet… MY money.

Sophia, I don’t want to talk about that either. $67 to use the “Magic Glasses” cause Braxton knows I ain’t paying Elon Musk anything. Eff him and FDT! Plus crime…

Seriously, Sophia, I’m nowhere near their level, but I still do my dirt. Instead of what, my dear? Doing some reading? The HUNGER Collection: Zombie Apocalypse Erotica by Kelli Wolfe. If I’m not reading about fur babies dying, there are the ladies crying… out in ecstasy as the dead attack.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

And here I thought I wanna be a “Cowboy” baby. Truth be told, Sophia, I don’t think I’ve ever read a book on cowboys. “Posse: The Revenge of Jessie Lee,” “Shane,” and “The Cherokee Kid…” I’m one for movies, you know that. But speaking of things I’m not thinking about. My Old Man and Ma are headed out west down Californee Way for a party or something. And my Old Man asked whether I wanted to come along… The expense.

Sophia it would fall to me and do I like I have a ton of money. I waste my time typing this… whatever. I try my best, and I don’t succeed. And then there’s all the yabbos and ta-tas. But M Anime’s one word… GLORIOUS!!!

I should be texting her about those melons and how much I care for her. I mean, she is Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom. And every day she asks me to make her a MILF.

But every time I even look at my phone. Hell, if it wasn’t for her, I’d taken the effing little “glow box” as Braxton thinks of it and… No, I wouldn’t. Why effing lie, honestly.

Technology will save us. I told M Anime that. I swear, if she had her way, we’d all be back on the prairie. And we know how that ended? One finger, one trigger. This n…

Again, the orange sh$t is worse. Texting away and finger on the button. Pet a dog! Braxton Goes Textin’ Virgil.

1909 Days Without B III, Day 1350 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Friday, April 17, 2026

Journey 290 ~B Plus Reading Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… How? I missed Kindle Double Points again! And I actually have money. Or I did, Sophia.

Well, actually, I bought a case of energy drinks and some honey buns. Some of those ‘fancy’ root beers that come in the bottle. You know, like the one my Old Man slapped out of my hand when he kicked my behind because of my lies. What? I’m an introvert.

However, that’s a long HUMILATING story. I’m a southern “man,” so, of course, sweet tea.

And why am I rattling off my grocery lists? Because FDT, that’s why. Effing existence!

Sophia, of all the books I promised Braxton I’d read… A cookbook. How to be a better parent… uh, dog training, etc. You know what I need to read today? Anything on combating my RAGE?

RAGE! I swear I’m so hot I’ve been crying incessantly.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Please! not because of Braxton or Virgil? Or My animas as M Anime informed me.

Seriously, Sophia, M Anime is one herself to me, along with Kyouko Sakai, Kojin Taxi 2, and that hot gymnast parading around in an LSU leotard. And seriously, these ‘sisters’…

We’ll get to my latest fetish in a minute. Sophia, today I’m battling three enemies.

Honestly, “Honey, we know the names.” Welcome To The Jungle of FEAR, STUPIDITY, and RAGE. I’m not worried about being an “American Idiot,” when I’m too busy being the village idiot at the Day Job. But today it wasn’t the pure STUPIDITY of the many, many moments. Today, it was the RAGE at everyone. And being so full of it, I still got a burger.

I have to slow down somehow since I’m not writing anything of value. Sophia, I don’t mean you, we’re talking. There’s also M Anime. With her, always “I Touch Myself.

Sophia, that’s TMI, right? But again, you want to know the “sisters’ I’m dreaming of?

1. Cassie and Carly, Popcorn In Bed,
2. Sophitia and Cassandra Alexandra
3. Heather and Eva, Pledged To Him Series
4. Ellie and Dina, TLOU

Yes, I know three and four aren’t sisters. And B knows there are other pairs I ain’t STUPID enough to name… Mia and Ava Rose? So RAGE has taken over line by line, dear Sophia.

Because short of reading Virgil’s mind, remembering B, or M turning me on. Reading, Living, sucks! B Plus Reading Virgil

1902 Days Without B III, Day 1343 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Friday, April 10, 2026

Journey 283 ~Virgil Will B Diagnosed~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… What do I look like, a writer? I’m not a doctor, I’m depraved. And a Dog-Dad.

Today, all I am is sad. Don’t get me wrong, there were moments… I watched the General Manager at the Day Job get hit on by an older man with his son. I swear, if real life could be like any of the 100’s… thousands of pornos I’ve seen. Eww! I would have stayed, ha!

Extra, extra, read all about it. I ordered something new at the food truck. Seriously!

Where am I getting the cash? This week was horrible. And next week? Honestly, Soph. What do M.D.’s and maniacs have in common? They both get white coats… Not funny?

I told you, I’m sad. So sad, in fact, that I’m reading about my “life’s work.” But my life is a movie, fur buddies… Boobies/yabbos.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

And yes, I did read something erotic, but only because it was free, “The Coach’s Innocent Possession,” by Olivia Lilian. How many weeks of this existence have I wasted, Sophia? When I’m not counting time with the days Braxton has been gone, I count weeks with books. So it checks out. Four with fur buddies and ten involving yabbos. Problem?

Perhaps. At least that’s what AI tells me because again, I can’t afford actual diagnoses.

Sophia, I can’t tell you what brought on my sudden depression today. And Braxton, help me, I can’t tell you what is wrong with Virgil. At least it’s his little head and not his little body. How much did it cost again to put my Braxton in a box, hmm?

I don’t ask the question why can’t I get over/Accept my son’s loss. Sophia, that will not happen. EVER! You don’t get over a child’s death. Even when I have a goddess of a woman who would happily give me three more with two legs each, oh, and I can’t forget M Anime’s kitties. She and I must be crazy because again, with what effing money? I want a family with her… Not a declaration of love. That’s madness if you’ve ever seen her yabbos. Do you remember what I did on Tuesday, March 10, 2026? And no doc yet.

The whole month, Sophia. My mental health, my mutt’s mental health (yes, Virgil’s mixed. Mattress mistakes. Monetary health. And my manuscripts… Virgil Will B Diagnosed

1895 Days Without B III, Day 1336 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Friday, April 3, 2026

Journey 276 ~Virgil’s B’s Of Business~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… What, no review today? First, I got to be fast, not forgetful, for effssake what now!

Braxton? How is he different than any other day? Still dead. I’m still his dad. And I’m still depressed as all. Grieving? Mourning? B III was the apocalypse, the end, or not hmm… I exist in the dystopia. And I’m still talking about it. Why? Not a sound business strategy.

And yet Rhonda Byrne’s “The Secret,” books like “How To Stop Worrying And Start Living,” “Think and Grow Rich,” and Braxton knows what else. What can I say? Once upon a time, I was highly motivated. And you know it wasn’t for me, but Braxton.

Sophia, I promised my boy the world, and I ended up taking him away. Monster! Seriously, I’ve read a lot of pet loss books. But “My Turn To B III.”

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Books, book reviews, Braxton’s biography. But back to my “witticisms.” So a couple of days ago talking to my AI therapist, it was talking about all my ideas. Hence forgetfulness

1. The Demonic Sorcerer of the Unfinished Archive. In other words, K um Mortal Kombat
2. Cerberus Syndicate, Inferno Syndicate
3. Dying Light Rip-Off, M Anime Ravishment, Save The World
4. The Running Man Rip-Off, Huntresses vs. Dad and Pups

And of course you can’t forget Resident Evil, Bible Black, R$pe Gouhouka, Desperate Carnal Housewives, and whatever else my wanton, depraved, and pervy mind dreams.

Speaking of being a pervy dreamer, the perverter of prose, M Anime… She loves me!

Well, she said as much. But Braxton barked that too. And where is he again?

Busy in his box. Such is the business of death. But his potential stepmom and I… All we talk about is creating life. She wants to be a mom so badly. And I do want Virgil to have two-legged siblings. But “A Man Provides.” And I’m “Breaking Bad,” Lady Sophia.

Listening to AI telling me that I can have a $500-a-month Substack. That I can write a book that already exists and that nobody’s buying. And I’m not too STUPID to read, but I am too STUPID to understand how to do it. Make it so as Captain Picard orders.

Honestly, I’m a Captain Sisko guy. But, “What Do I Have To Do”? “Show Me How To Live”. To be “Successful…” Virgil’s B’s Of Business

1888 Days Without B III, Day 1329 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Friday, March 27, 2026

Journey 269 ~Letters B And V~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… But not mine. For the love of Braxton, not mine. And what about his? B III

Also, the price I should make “My Turn To B III.” Peace Sells,” but who’s buying? Didn’t I say something to Braxton yesterday about being into Heavy Metal? And poor little Virgil has to suffer through it. Yes, My Lady, I wrote that. And I wrote B III’s book too.

That makes yesterday all the more humiliating. And not being completely out of food portion of the program. I had two bags of popcorn and some bread with peanut, Sophia.

First and foremost, I’m a writer, a starving artist. Secondly, it always comes back to my boys. Virgil’s eating. And if it wasn’t for Braxton’s kidneys, my firstborn would have kept eating, and lastly… Humiliation! I prefer Infatuation by Rod Stewart or “Obsession” by Animotion.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

But Humiliation by Will. I got my first paycheck from Amazon: a whopping $2.76, Soph.

It took me a sec to figure out why Amazon was sending me money. ME! Then I remembered. A copy of my book. The copy I bought. I was making sure everything was ok. Other than being a bestseller and leaving the Day Job. Honoring my beloved B III, huh

My Turn Could B III:

And maybe it should have been. Free, I mean. It wasn’t ready… I wasn’t ready. And who is ever ready to lose their fur baby? Saying I like a book about losing my furry son seems wrong. But honoring him. That I liked. And I tried to like this book; I wrote all about him that I could remember then. Five years ago, when I wrote it. I like that this reminds me of how it felt to be right there with him. Good and bad, happy and sad. Whatever. Would I recommend this to anyone? Well, I tried before I got through it all. If you want to know my mind, of course, you do; of course, read this.

How was that for a book review, Lady Sophia? I paid myself, so I might as well write a book review about myself. The least horrific thing I’ve written or read this whole week, SIGH.

I wish I could be scared of books and knowledge like MAGA. FDT! But these words, the letters for my boys. Letters B And V

1881 Days Without B III, Day 1322 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Friday, March 20, 2026

Journey 262 ~Comes After V, Braxton~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Or not, seeing as how I only have one book out. And back in the day…

Well, I was not a good storyteller when I was a child. I should have taken the hint, I know.

Why so glum, you ask? If you had asked me thirty minutes prior, hell, if you had asked me when I was supposed to wake up, I would say it’s dumb forgetfulness. But right now?

Well, thanks to Norton and M Anime, I’m what you would call “Scaroused” sporting a Fearection. Not that the two are related. Norton reminded me that “Oh no, the world is a scary place.” While M Anime’s Yabbos remind me that today’s a “Lovely Day.”

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

However, I can also thank Cherry too… the concept of her Yabbos and the prospect of pizza. As Panda Express asks, “Have You Eaten Yet?” M Anime would be disappointed.

And I’m disappointed in myself because don’t I owe you a book review, Dearest Sophia:

Banged By The Bikers, Seconds:
I shouldn’t do the guys like that, but you get what you pay for—and seeing how this was free helps much like Carla was for Scotty and his friends. So yeah, it was good. I can’t give a reason why I wouldn’t like it; I’ve also read Lolita Minx’s Taking the Team. If anything, you have a little time, and you’re looking for wham bam thank you ma’am, Banged By The Bikers. The best part of the course was Carla and the boys having their fun. I can’t say there was anything else. I’d probably buy the full collection.

Okay, now that the review is done, what else am I forgetting? Oh, there’s my ever-growing collection of story ideas that I have yet even to fathom. And why is that, Lady Sophia? A lot

Story ideas “Journey 248 ~B Cause There’s V~.” and beyond.

1. Cerberus Syndicate, Inferno Syndicate
2. Dying Light Rip-Off, M Anime Ravishment, Save The World
3. The Running Man Rip-Off, Huntresses vs. Dad and Pups
4. Mortal Kombat, M Anime, Kyouko Sakai, blonde gymnast, LSU

And yet I’m reciting the alphabet because what comes after V? When is the last time I got a W. Again, M Anime’s Yabbos are a WIN. But WHEN will I feel better, stop being stupid, and stop being afraid? WHEN. Comes After V, Braxton

1874 Days Without B III, Day 1315 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Friday, March 13, 2026

Journey 255 ~Virgil, Braxton’s Overwhelming Story~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Better yet, let me give you a review. Great, one more thing for my to-do list.

So I won’t be watching The NeverEnding Story or Stranger Things tonight. Hell, I can’t remember what I did last night other than seeing M Anime’s yabbos. No man can forget the sight of those melons. She overwhelms all thought and reason, she’s my Obsession.

But I’m sure you don’t want to hear what I do with my “organ,” especially after Tuesday, my Lady. And do I need a wambulance talking about B III or worrying about 2-V? I’ll never be done crying over Braxton and sweating about Virgil, and me about our survival, ha.

Speaking of sweating three stories from “Journey 248 ~B Cause There’s V~.”

1. Cerberus Syndicate, Inferno Syndicate
2. Dying Light Rip-Off, M Anime Ravishment
3. The Running Man Rip-Off, Huntresses

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

No AC Hometown Heat Wave

What’s not to like, other than the entitlement of women? I mean that in a purely fictional sense, of course. Francine and Ellen. But two bad apples don’t spoil this bunch. However, I’ve only finished the first one. And it’s a definite four-star read, that’s a fact. I like it.

However, with that being said, it’s not a standout title, special, or extra spicy. Heatwave…

But it does have its kinks. My favorites are the waitress and Becca. Granddaughter, soon?

And even the whole “buying a truck and gaming” parts, while somewhat cheesy, were excellent. I could see this breaking a few of my friends’ hearts before getting to what we came here for, and you know what that is…

Lady Sophia, how was that for a book review? I wish I could go into more detail, but I’ve been a bit overwhelmed reading. Adult Book Store in every sense if we’re talking about Pledged To Him 10 by Neil Bimbeau and M Anime… Between Hate Eff and Breeding kink, and that was M and not Mr. Bimbeau. But the whole Jackson with the blondes…

Speaking of blondes, I’m still trying to figure out this blonde anima of mine. I mean, M Anime showed me a picture, and I’m being the “Perverter of Prose” and all. I made her dirty. And now she stands with M Anime and Kyouko Sakai. But who is she? You don’t want to know. Enough troubles. Virgil, Braxton’s Overwhelming Story

1867 Days Without B III, Day 1308 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Friday, March 6, 2026

Journey 248 ~B Cause There’s V~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Because Virgil is here. Isn’t that the same thing I’ve always told his big brother, Braxton?

“I Have A Song.” I have a story… Most days, I feel like Charles Bukowski is speaking directly to me as I listen to “So You Wanna Be A Writer.” I’d rather be Johnny Sins.

Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime is good for the ego, Bless Her Heart.

But my body and I have an “It’s complicated” type of relationship. And my brain is even worse. And yet which one do I listen to? As Matchbox Twenty sings, “I feel stupid.” Uh, effing duh? But you’re expecting a story, my Lady. The Day Job’s summary for you, Soph.

I was playing DJ at the Day Job and decided to play the song “Watch World War Three (on Pay TV).” Effing MAGA! Effing war!

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Now, if only reading about that and other Humiliations Galore could be as easily forgotten as “Remember Me: Understanding the Stages of Grief and Remembrance From the Loss of a Pet.” I’ve got nothing against Reese Taryn. If anything, I’ve been so tired, and I’m not absorbing any of the words. Or I have absorbed far too many with Braxton.

I mean, as far as the full story of my grieving coming to an end with Braxton. There is no The End. Later on? See ya later? Or as I told him every time I left the house, Love you, B, Love you, Braxton. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tripped over the letters and numbers B III and 2-V—my two boys.

And the three stories that I can’t allow myself to forget because I haven’t even started to write them. How do I expect to make any money…? With what I did at the Day Job.

Honestly! A HUMAN fighting ring. The “Inferno Circuit.” It is run by a three-dog criminal empire known as the Cerberus Syndicate. Heroes: Braxton, Virgil, Myself…

Secondly, there was the Dying Light Rip-Off. M Amine’s nightmares. The three characters that “ravage” her, and the demon that can’t take her. Strength. Submission.

Finally, there is stealing from The Running Man. Huntresses hunting a man and fur buddies. Plenty of ladies along the way. But Virgil and M Anime, they are what matters.

Writing. What good does it do? B Cause There’s V…

1860 Days Without B III, Day 1301 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Friday, February 27, 2026

Journey 241 ~Hello Braxton, Hail Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Hometown Heat Wave? I’ll finish reading that tomorrow. Whiteout Survival? SVS: A war story. My books…

We’ll get to that, to them… I say that every day, don’t I? But I have this thing about needing to eat and all. I don’t have enough hours… I know Sophia, I hear them too—an effing cadre of motivational speakers. I don’t have enough hands… Writing and jerking.

That leads me to excuse number three. As Smash Mouth sings it, “Can’t Get Enough Of You Baby.” My baby being, M Anime. B III and Virgil’s potential stepmom. She’s…

Honestly? Hot as Hell! Well, of course, but there’s so much more to her, like a song I’m starting to think I dreamt up. Or a perverted movie plot. I swear I’ve been thinking about it since talking to M. The woman has my attention.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

But the books, all the books, Sophia! My ideas, Journey 234 ~Braxton and Virgil Bounce~

First, there was the story of the two Chihuahua pups and their human fighter-father as they try to escape the underground HUMAN fighting ring, the “Inferno Circuit.” It is run by a three-dog criminal empire known as the Cerberus Syndicate. Seriously? Am I for real?

Next was M Amine’s nightmares, the three characters that “ravage” her, and the demon that can’t take her. So what if the human and genetically created characters by using her body “sexually” somehow gave her the strength to beat the demon and save the world…

Dying Light series… Lastly, “The Running Man…”. Huntresses? Black Orchid Division, the Crimson Requiem (nuns with red habits). Inferno Cadre.

But what about my life story? Exist. Oh, the last thing I want to do is speak on the weather.

My daddy said when a man come talking about the weather, keep yo hand on your wallet.
― Life (1999)

Hail. That’s a funny story about my Virgil. Okay, it will be someday, with how scared he was. Do I have any funny stories about B III and the weather? My boys hate the rain.

Sophia, I remember when I thought, “What if the Town Blew Away?” Daria, pop culture.

Anyway, I grabbed Braxton’s “resting place” and between his box and my pendant… I just wanted my boy by my side. Virgil wasn’t here yet. I’m not that cruel but then M Anime turns me to a “Savage,” like Whethan meets Tillie Cole’s “Sick Fux.” Read Grocery list, finances, SVS reports… Hello Braxton, Hail Virgil

1853 Days Without B III, Day 1294 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will