Log 202 ~Willing On The Weekend~

I talked about staying alive one more day last week, and if something comes after this, then Saturday wasn’t so bad; the wonders of time-travel today being Friday and all, the weekend isn’t all you want it to be some days. Willing On The Weekend

Sunday, January 19, 2020

Log 202 ~Willing On The Weekend~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now because losing $375.00 sucks. It’s called being an adult, and at least it’s not a scam unless you count that one about loving Olds. You have nothing to complain about; you know everything you should be paying for anyway. Your Dæmon was $145.00, and you remember the price of the Ant Invasion. Termites are far worse. Of course, we know what the worst thing is, and while you try well more like I try (Friday NOW) to fight back the depression. Look at it this way, by now its Three Little Birds.”

There is so much to do, and yes, I take responsibility for doing nothing at all. Unless you count Far Cry 5 because, at this rate, I’ll be battling Jacob, tonight or tomorrow. Somehow I have remained two days ahead when it comes to this time-travel writing. I made three photo collages of Cherry; she liked two. Wasn’t I talking about fours the other day? Still, I downloaded three videos. There was Jenny Anderson, Brooke Lee Adams, and Mia Malkova last night. How about Alyssa Branch, there’s my forth. What’s with all the buses and trains lately? Let’s not get started on Aiden Starr that would make five. What about those collages again for Cherry, five pictures combined into one? Am I counting up all the wasted days or wanting to avoid Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 015 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 022 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Getting My Second Car Fixed
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing A Naughty Little Christmas by Lili Valente
    Failed

I don’t know how I’m hanging on to #1, and one of my Pinterest boards is exploding with 224 sections. All this talk about numbers all to hide the money, ain’t I being a Republican. Of course, the point is for you always to be a better man. Can I say all my sleep is leading to you being such a man Will, but what am I going to do tomorrow? Live, that’s one more fact, stay alive as they say in “Catching Fire.” Now that’s something I should say to my character. I don’t think I died yesterday, though. Jacob Seed isn’t as scary as my old man, and the Junior Deputy has plenty of guns, no doubt. If it’s not games though, how about books? Don’t get me wrong I still tell myself stories, and I finally want to write a new poem. What I do for women but not Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 022 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Getting My Second Car Fixed
  6. I AM Finishing A Naughty Little Christmas by Lili Valente

You have two days; Will be Willing On The Weekend.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 120 ~Don’t Make Their Lies True~

I don’t bother to introduce myself; I won’t even say hello because if the conversation goes further than that, do you care how I am, should I care how you are, sooner or later you’ll lie to yourself about me. Don’t Make Their Lies True

Monday, October 22, 2018

Episode 120 ~Don’t Make Their Lies True~

Fifty-Sixth Rule Madam Justice

How To Make One Million Dollars, the first bit of change but why should I, you know it’s never me wanting to fit in, it’s what’s left inside me, and then I don’t recognize who I am anymore, yet one more reason I avoid mirrors.

Last week I talked about writing a decent sentence but how many people have seen that coming from me, no instead I believed the first lie from my “father” and that was “stupid” everything about me. Madam Justice I don’t want to be a downer today but isn’t ironic that with lies you can be president but the truth can put you in prison regardless of guilt or innocence, I heard again I was stupid in my “home,” and thus I became it. So I’ve spent my life wanting to be everything but, I read every day, I attempted to join Mensa, hell I don’t know how many books I’ve written, but I struggle with such small tasks making my father and everyone else smarter.

In the flesh, I am ugly, and like the Phantom, Quasimodo, or Cyrano de Bergerac, I began to wear masks, I hide upstairs; my downstairs barely has furnishings, and I don’t bother to fix the doorbell; how about the fact that I hide behind words? I don’t check mirrors because there is no point, I wear hoodies and dark colors, I keep earphones on always, the music a feeble attempt to drown out the lie that is becoming the truth.

Of course, I can’t neglect this, let’s say half-truth that got me here talking to you… how many times will I return to this; I was acting skeevy and creepy to a girl, fair enough, I started talking to Lady Lu and next thing you know I’m a stalker. Now if comparing a girl to Brazzers or Reality Kings is one thing, I get the same damn reaction if I write something sweet, of course, when “gentlemen” pay me for my words, they get girls panties to drop quick. Even now you might say I sound bitter, to one girl I’m too sweet, to another I attempt to nail her whenever she comes by, but my point is I don’t know my truth as I’m in many lies and falsehoods.

With that on repeat having never known myself since the cradle, believing and knowing I was worthless, nothing, and stupid and having the world echo that well… it started with one man and a bitch here or there; it can end with one man, me, that’s if I figure out who I am one day, Don’t Make Their Lies True.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 113 ~Always Write The Truest Sentence~

As the song goes, every day I write the book or NOT, I found out it’s too late to submit a short story for competition but still, it’s not only a goal to write, it’s my purpose if that is the truth. “Always Write The Truest Sentence.”

Monday, October 22, 2018

Episode 113 ~Always Write The Truest Sentence~

Fifty-Fifth Rule Madam Justice

How To Make One Million Dollars, is there a fairer sentence these days, the first words of a short story I still plan on writing, all those missed sentences I didn’t read at work as I signed my name, how about the death sentence I hope has known conclusion, somebody getting fired. The truth of the matter is that first sentence; if it doesn’t do what is needed then the last sentence doesn’t matter now does it, and when it comes to you and the others, the concept of making a million dollars is it.

It sounds a lot better than, I’m getting in her pants this way or that way; already I’m beginning to look like a hypocrite, but damn do you know everything that a million dollars could get done simply. When I was a child, it used to be what two-hundred dollars could do, and like my money my sentences have grown as well and again like my finances, this is not always a good thing. My money and my writing have to speak for me because more often than not when I talk out loud, it’s not the real me and you know I despise liars but take this as true; if anything I’m an artist.

“Artists use lies to tell the truth. Yes, I created a lie. But because you believed it, you found something true about yourself.” ― Alan Moore, V for Vendetta (Goodreads)

I can’t say I rightly know what people find out about themselves when they read my writing but for the majority, when I speak I find out they are shit human beings, of course, there are exceptions “Indiana Gone,” “Okay,” yeah I can’t even name a few I can be myself around. So am I Will, when I’m writing… now that would be terrifying, a guy that would rather be with machines than people, a sadistic photographer who does everything to his victims, a vengeful cult-leader? Who do I want to be tomorrow, hell who do I want to be from minute to minute, this is more a question for Lady Sophia, but I’m not going to get to my short story today am I.

Love The Way You Run, working title of course but now I’m stuck on writing the first sentence, but it’s more like the story I tell myself when I first leave work, what did the general manager say “read between the lines.” First there have to be lines, and then there are words and somewhere in all of that junk lies me and if only someone would care to look but the fact that I’m not writing means *sigh* I don’t want to be found; is that the truth or a lie dear Madam Justice, Always Write The Truest Sentence.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 241 ~The World Sees Me~

If I could only see the way you love me, everything might be solved right; you want to switch eyes… okay so not a horror movie but a love story, or maybe beer goggles, or am I just a piece of meat, I could live with that. The World Sees Me.

Tuesday, February 27, 2018

Lesson 241 ~The World Sees Me~

Dear Future Wife,
I’m Not Afraid Anymore, or I suppose I won’t be sooner or later, there won’t be any more to see and if there is I won’t spend a few hours trying to change it… message. It’s a man’s world I know it, and you worry about how the world will see you and so do I, the only difference is, to me, you are the world, knights and their shining armor, right?

Not after we slay the dragons, suffer the slings and arrows, and I spend so much time polishing and hell the first time you saw me I was probably in my hoody so why bother dressing to the nines then or now? Unquestionably because my mom wouldn’t have it any other way; my mother, my sister, women in general and no it can’t be our sleeping angel in her room, a man has to be better for himself. My love if I told you about the battles I have with the man in the mirror, and then you look at me; if you only knew how long I’ve been looking for you and when I finally found you, before then?

“You make me want to be a better man.” ― As Good as It Gets

Love can’t tell time; I heard that in a movie too, and before I met you, as I imagined the woman that you surely aren’t I had an epiphany, what if you could see me now? I even made a playlist full of songs about eyes, watching, the look of love, brown eyed girl, your eyes, and that’s just it, I know what I must look like now but back then I was worried about my face. Maybe I was hiding, and there are some things I can’t hide even if I wanted to, so that’s when I began thinking perhaps I should pretend that every day would be the day I would find you.

Let’s just say you kept me from doing more stupid stuff before we ever met and now well as the song goes, what makes a monster and what makes a man, and I cam only imagine who I am and what I am in your eyes. Bedroom eyes, those hungry eyes, those ocean eyes, I should know what makes you cry, other than certain movies and those Sarah Mclachlan commercials

So I will continue to wonder, I’m sorry, I can’t help it hopefully the future on the horizon is much grander than the past that t lies behind us, the black and white on some blog The World Sees Me.

I Will Have No Fear

Digging That L-Bomb

Am I running from love… no but I’m in the dark, I’m alone, and the way love looks to me, the things I want to do; I’d ruin her I think, no girl could possibly go so low. Digging That L-Bomb… love changes us; I can imagine what my world would be like.

See Me Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vf4ae-bFVCM

And even though God keeps searching…
What does he know huh?
Maybe it’s still too early

But the Devil says, “don’t turn around”
Only why the rush
He’s got de Sade, Hentai, and ravishment, now

just three little words to say
or love me like you do… hush
I don’t want to be afraid

I’m gonna dig myself a hole, a fallout shelter, my atom bomb baby
my mind, my heart, my BODY, do you want to touch?
Keep falling… one, two, thirteen women got me digging

The L-Bomb… how far is far enough

Copyright © 2015 Second Circle Creations, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Inspired By: Yuna Naruse, Saishuu Chikan Densha 2, Midnight Sleazy Train 2, Ace of Base “Don’t Turn Around”, Ellie Goulding “Love Me Like You Do” Fifty Shades of Grey Soundtrack, Arthur ‘Big Boy’ Crudup “I’m Gonna Dig Myself A Hole” (1951) Cold War Classics (Atomic Platters), Dore Alpert “Fallout Shelter” (1962) Cold War Classics (Atomic Platters), Five Stars “Atom Bomb Baby” (1957) Cold War Classics (Atomic Platters), and Bill Haley and His Comets “Thirteen Women” (1954) Cold War Classics (Atomic Platters)