Tag: Bugs

Log 135 ~It Bugs Me, Will

WillLeave a comment

Last week it was ants or the lack thereof and this week, butterflies, ants, and roaches oh my but I’m not talking about the actual creatures for they all exist in man, at least if you watch some weird cooking shows. “It Bugs Me, Will.”

Wednesday, November 13, 2019

Log 135 ~It Bugs Me, Will

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I don’t think much of people. If I was being honest with myself and joined the ranks of the one percent, what would I do? I help NaNoWriMo and animals. Inspector Echo, is it a sin I still owe Indiana Gone, Birthday and Wedding Gifts?

Butterflies, not the first bug you thought I would mention today. I wasn’t thinking about them myself, but now I’m feeling them. Have I ever told you that Red and Black are my battle standard? Today though, I want to burst into that song Amber. No, I should mention the last time I spoke about butterflies or a particular Pokémon to a girl, the “Rainbow?” I would do well to remember since this would cause even more trouble. Wasn’t I so “optimistic” today, though, and I do not need to be in any sense? Shouldn’t I play Chris Pratt’s part in Passengers? Only I’ll do the right thing and leave her alone. I wasn’t lying to her, though; I like how my name sounds on her lips. Cherry would have a time with this, given her particular romantic interests always.

Ants would take my mind off things, but am I trying to curse myself, happy thoughts. It’s FEAR though Inspector Echo, my anxiety and worry. I’m always on guard, and that explains why I’m holed up in bed today. How about being in bed for a different reason, and it’s no good. I’m feeling pretty “antsy,” and I’m not sure why. Well, no, I know exactly why, but so far, I can still post this if I stay on the up and up. These words like one big ant colony, and I’m trying not to bug anybody else, life goals.

Roaches can survive anything or so “THEY,” say. My day job, for example, I endure humiliation, exhaustion, and I play dead. Some pretty girl sees me, and I go scurrying all over the place. I don’t want to imagine myself as a nuisance, but isn’t that always the case. Dennis The Menace, Bran the Broken, Will the Ill, etc. Why doesn’t “Okay” talk to me anymore? When I speak to Indiana Gone, I only bring bad news. Why do I chat up some pretty girl despite everything she has going?

I’m sorry for this RAID Inspector. To be a raven, Nevermore, It Bugs Me, Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 146 ~Win, Will It Count~

WillLeave a comment

We’re counting on you, nope no one has ever said that to me or placed a price on my head but all these numbers swimming around in my head, remind me of doing Inventory at the day job and when will I stop looking at these digits. “Win, Will It Count.”

Saturday, November 24, 2018

Episode 146 ~Win, Will It Count~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, maybe when I stop counting the hours I work and ignoring those I sleep, how about doing something other than the bare minimum for my writing; when will I start adding up the victories instead of hoping for that one day. If anything I’ve Seen Better Days, this morning I was set to declare victory in the bug war, but the battle rages on, “B III” is mad about his medication for some hours and don’t even get me started about No Nut November Lady Lu.

If anything the only number that truly matters nowadays is my NaNoWriMo score, and again I’m not going to count that as a victory as of yet considering everything else that’s crashed and burned. Take my day job for example, how many days have I slid in under the wire because of a lack of sleep, the temperature, and whatever scientific products they put in all those sprays to melt ice. Should we talk about the money situation, I swear, I am doing more math than any class, but of course I have no right to complain, other than planning on a shower, why is that not happening friend, again?

Last night, definitely goes on the top ten of worse nights ever, from being in a knot about one bitch, almost getting fired, and how many sleeping pills did I take one night only to survive up until now. How many Youtube videos have I watched in the name of motivation, when’s the last time I heard from “Indiana Gone” or “Okay” and when will I go back to eating some solid meals. I don’t know what to tell you Lady Lu; it’s almost as if the price to breathe had gone up, three breaths when it was only one, a cadre of ants, when we were once looking at two, getting up at 1:55 AM because my kid threw his schedule out of whack.

An unfortunate choice of words because I haven’t gone twenty-four hours, I need something, and I wish I could say my story was that sexy or I was reading something as such but no, and hell it’s not even like I need the clarity. What can I count on that doesn’t make me miserable I ask, possibly counting my son’s breaths when we’re not fighting about his meds, that’s one, NaNoWriMo… Win, Will It Count?

“Because it doesn’t matter if you’re a good or bad person on the inside. The numbers don’t care.” Judith Grimes

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 139 ~Willing Parody Of Life~

WillLeave a comment

I think I know enough about life to fake it, go to work, kill the pests (ants), and there is a bed to sleep in and a roof over my head, and that’s all there is but wait there’s more because what I have seen so far… “Willing Parody Of Life.”

Saturday, November 17, 2018

Episode 139 ~Willing Parody Of Life~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, give life or take it, and no My Lady I’m not crazy though if I can be candid with you Luna, these days the thought of my life has only begun depressing me further. Today *sigh* It Was A Good Day, now nowhere near as good as it was supposed to be… Five Thousand words, remember that but I think I’ve written most of a “wonderful” solid chapter for my novel.

I was dead asleep for most of the day which might explain why physically I feel so wide awake, that and being a spokesman for 5-hour ENERGY, not for real but a shot a day gives me the words to say. Speaking of shots, that would have been faster I believe, a military man especially a commander should keep a journal I heard once, as far as the war against the ant population, it goes well, two ant baits and I now have a pest mass genocide. One more day off and then there’s hell to pay, as in Black Friday, how I wish I could summon up my rage against the General Manager, why not the general population, I’m not picky, only picked on.

The question tonight is, why am I the biggest bully of them all, don’t get me wrong, my day job is doing awesome destroying me, you would think I would take this more seriously, writing but still I remain. People talk about these weeks as a season of miracles, I only want one, and that’s to finish my novel on time and with everything that is about to happen… Well, one more good thing, my Mother is cooking which means “B III” and I should eat well if we make it until Thursday but then again, don’t I get paid Friday and if I had my way I wouldn’t go out on either of those days so yeah yay Mom.

Maybe that’s it; I’m a bully that’s been knocked down but beating myself up is so damn easy that yeah everyone does it, and I still want to lend a hand because that’s what I do, hurt myself to benefit others. I heard this ad that says Christmas reminds us of how good we can be, “Triple B” is alive I’m right, I haven’t tried to kill myself in ages, that works, I might have reclaimed some of this house, okay then but what’s not, this Willing Parody Of Life.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 132 ~What Keeps You Willing~

WillLeave a comment

Being perfectly honest I wish I wasn’t and no I’m not getting on about my name I mean getting off my ass and doing something other than running to work, searching for sex, and rushing to stop the flood of invaders. “What Keeps You Willing?”

Saturday, November 10, 2018

Episode 132 ~What Keeps You Willing~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, three months in, I should have a quarter of a million dollars… I spoke about mimes yesterday, and that’s one more good thing about them, you can’t hear them laughing at you. Can’t see them either considering I have been asleep most of the day and things I don’t want to see today. More things to break my No Fap streak, too late, more black dots across the kitchen floor or Braxton’s room marching, and how about the crap for my novel but the ideas keep on coming more and more.

Hell Lady Luna the only reason I got anything done today was “B III” tugging at my arm, one more thing I didn’t want to see is him hacking and coughing, that fat cat that’s looking for a fight, or whatever wound I inflicted on myself around my heart. I don’t want to see when I have to go to work tomorrow, how about what I’ll procrastinate with next, today it’s been Star Trek: Deep Space Nine and Rick Grimes’s last episode, and then there’s my dining room chair. So today’s question is what do I do it all for, I’ve said so many times before I don’t look in mirrors, I counted my money which is another bit of depression, and no I’m not suicidal… okay, I always am but closing my eyes and wasting today did work wonders.

It always comes back to FEAR but if I need to pick up F’s they would be FIRED, FATHER, and of course “The F Word” because I hear Captain America saying “Language”; still why do I get up for work, don’t like my job, hate people but I don’t want to get fired. Every Morning when I wake up as the song goes and I’m not headed off to work I see my son look at me like Papa Can You Hear Me, and I‘m nowhere near the best dad in the world and I still can’t believe I still dream of having the “Nuclear Family” to be a Father. Of course, that requires “The F Word” and no I don’t mean Fapping, and when it comes to sex, yeah I have far too much of that in my novel and far too little in reality but the promise of it… talk about loftier F’s.

Ask me why I wake up in the morning other than to walk B III, give him his meds, and pray for twenty-four hours not to fight the horde, at this rate I’m going to have to do actual real adulting and call someone. People Lady Lu, humanity, like Me Before You, A Million Little Things, Let Me In, we are supposed to live to make other people happy, and that’s not fair when we can’t have that so Lady Lu What Keeps You Willing?

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 126 ~Will, A Motivational Tale~

WillLeave a comment

Burning the candle at both ends as it were but honestly, I choose writing, what did I hear in one of my daily motivations, the difference between I got to, and I get to and if I’m lucky I’ll live the later. “Will, A Motivational Tale.”

Sunday, November 4, 2018

Episode 126 ~Will, A Motivational Tale~

To Will:
How To Make A Million Dollars, well honestly the hardest part is waking up in the morning, remember to take the trash out, and as much order as you try to impose you’re going to bug out sometimes, literally. Yeah you’re going to have plenty of time to think about a lot of things, this time the event happened before the dream, a freaking ant invasion, talk about getting off my ass to do something, and you need to take that motivation into this week, it’s NaNoWriMo season.

I don’t know how many times I’ve mentioned that and its only day four and there is still so much writing to be done and you’re going to do it, not because I have faith, or that you love the idea of it but because that’s who you are. Why is it that tragedy is the thing that works its magic, of everything in this world, fear and horrible circumstance are what raises the dead man. Sometimes I envy my son, of course, he wakes up with his share of “concerns” but more often than you at least he wakes up with hope to get something done in this world but these Six Impossible Things

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 023 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed (Day 030 No Fap)
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
Failed
3. I Will Review Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
Failed
4. I Will Review Depredation By Natalie Bennett
Failed
5. I Will Finish Dancing In The Dark By T.L. Martin (Goodreads)
Failed
6. I Will Edit At Least One Chapter of “Apocalypse Rush”
Failed

Well, 17.5, no excuses, so let’s look at the positives, I’m still awake at this hour, my word count remains intact at 6,900, and if I heard them correctly at my day job, Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbest are all gone, talk about some good news. You will have to be bolder at work though and the hours aren’t getting any easier but what is “Eric Thomas” always talking about you have to be willing to give up sleep, now that’s an addiction, but it surpasses porn and what’s this latest novel about again. If anything were to come of it you’d miss plenty of sleep, or at least that’s the plan but what does that make me; any closer to that million, you should probably focus on Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 030 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Review Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
4. I Will Review Depredation By Natalie Bennett
5. I Will Finish Dancing In The Dark By T.L. Martin (Goodreads)
6. I Will Write 10,200 Words For My Novel “NaNoWriMo Challenge”

Strange isn’t it to give your word to write so many more and when did NaNoWriMo become the boss of you, I swear if it isn’t novels, it’s bugs, and sooner or later it will be babes, starting up with the alliteration once again, hungry, horny, hanging in there barely. Where is hope in all of this, I would give you a quote but seriously though, keep your hands on the keyboard and see what happens, only your next novel isn’t Will, A Motivational Tale.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 125 ~When Motivation Bugs Will~

WillLeave a comment

It seems to me that everything is out and trying to live, fitness models, bullies, and pests and for some reason, I can’t get myself motivated despite the huge nap I took, but energy drinks do have a downside. When Motivation Bugs Will

Saturday, November 3, 2018

Episode 125 ~When Motivation Bugs Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, well I know I’m spending at least twelve bucks a week on 5-hour ENERGY shots; think Popeye and his spinach, only a day later I’m crashing, and for a minute there I was thinking would they ever sponsor me… loyal customer.

Last night I was talking about motivation, and I have done so for so many, as I was telling “Indiana Gone” about that MILF, I told her she should become a model, lo and behold she has a new Instagram page, not that I’m taking credit. I would show it off if I weren’t afraid of losing her as a “friend” or that she would kick my ass and to speak of a foot in the ass, I know I have motivated and inspired many would-be comedians who live by the motto of “Just Kidding.” God how that bugs me and even trying to make this house inviting has triggered the local creepy crawlers, or maybe that’s the weather; I keep hoping, seeing as how my son has been under it for a day or so, he’s motivating me towards a vet visit this week.

Now how about my precious motivation Lady Luna, I know this is more Lady Sophia’s wheelhouse but the ideas have come rolling in or should I say rip-offs, for example, Twilight did the whole four parts thing with the sun and so did Black Panther. As far as character motivations, my protagonist is always looking for love, the antagonist wants his business, the pretty doctor values humanity, the love interest desires a soul, and the gravedigger looks for immortality. What am I motivated to do though, here’s another NaNoWriMo, I have slipped back into listening to all those motivational speakers, and I still remember that happened by accident “Illegal Dreamer,” I owe Spotify for that.

The thing that gets me though is why am I still waiting to get started today, I could have come so far but I’m doing the bare minimum, 1,667 words and I do around 1,700 because of my thing for numbers as always. O.C. D. is a real killer; you can look at me when I leave the house I have a ritual and if I don’t do it… well now I know why I like three, O.C.D., Bipolar Depression, and Social Anxiety which is the worse, now that might make a good story someday but When Motivation Bugs Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 291 ~It’s A Hairy Situation~

WillLeave a comment

Dogs are man’s best friend, and you don’t keep your friends in cages do you, or bubble wrap, and there is a leash law but tell that to everyone else and bugs will be bugs sadly. It’s A Hairy Situation

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Lesson 291 ~It’s A Hairy Situation~

Forgive Me Echo,
I Am Not Fine Today, and I am still worried about my kid; I had a bit of a revelation this morning about fear as he and I went for our walk. How often do I talk about fear and courage is merely facing fear and doing what you want or must, hell just being able to live my life and his.

Anyway, as we both know fear haunts me and when you’re a father; no I can never be ashamed of the fact that I think of him as my son; how many fears have I faced because of that fact? No today’s sin is no matter what; I can’t protect him from everything, isn’t that my job, what parent admits such a thing or outright fails at it when they are needed most? I thought I saw a tick burrowing into his fur and you know how he is when it comes to bugs, his nails, and other small emergencies and if I can’t handle such things what about the big ones that will happen?

It’s not just my failures as a dad though, he frightens me Inspector Echo, this little six to eight pounds of fluff can scare me and not just because of his health, no he is just like me, angry, terrified, not knowing what’s best for him. Why do you think he takes baths at the groomers, nails clipped there too, the vet on speed dial every time he gets a tick because I am incapable? Don’t I sound like some worthless Republican afraid of the children only in this case, he’s mine and as much as I want to blame his “grandfather” or any number of bad experiences, his fears and mine, fall to me.

“You failed. You failed as a leader and most of all Rick, you failed as a father. Just… give up.” The Lost and the Plunderers

He’s bitten me before when I needed to stop him from terrorizing the neighborhood; on multiple occasions in fact for any number of things, a bit ironic that I can’t prevent things from biting him because he’ll chew me. So we endure, have and will because love perhaps is the highest sin of all, and now is not the time for a God kick thankfully.

I only ask your forgiveness for realizing that some fears, a father’s love will always remain, the fact that I can protect him from other dogs but he won’t let me help with the little things; how I should be a better man but I know It’s A Hairy Situation.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 024 ~Gotta Fight’em, Gotta Fight’em~

WillLeave a comment

Am I bugging you yet… looks like I’m king of the ant hill for now and if it was only that, I’d still be freaking out or more like bugging out but it isn’t the end of the world. “Gotta Fight’em, Gotta Fight’em”, true enough though

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Lesson 024 ~Gotta Fight’em, Gotta Fight’em~

Hey Lu,
Get ready for some mundane chatter until more gainful opportunities arise… I suppose today beat sitting on my ass all day am I right? Amongst those, watching paint dry, training at work, and killing bugs or trying to at least, not getting easier.

I’m starting to feel like Hank Hill in “King of the Ant Hill”, can I mention again that I don’t hate these things… necessarily but give it time, there’s no statute of limitations on my anger as you well know. When I came back to the house I swear I had my Dorian Newberry moment, I know I’m still looking for a male role model, considering the man I am. Anyway here I am having made up wars with real enemies but I can’t hold my own territory, sad really.

“I tell you, Worf, war is much more fun when you’re winning!” Sons and Daughters

Speaking of the valiant bug war, Braxton is still on the losing side, yeah I should just go ahead and either take the hit or the shame, nice that I used a Klingon quote because somebody always ends up bleeding, why I detest ants, I hate ticks and fleas, spawn of Hell no doubt. Sort of explains me too though I have been called a lot worse, that’s if I’m even called at all, and I do have something to say about that. Braxton and I have been at odds for a few days now and I have to deal with it sooner or later but a twist of anxiety.

It doesn’t matter though right, he’s my responsibility, hell he’s my son and he needs me but he’s as stubborn as his old man, please don’t ever let me become my father. Don’t ever let me become the person that “they” want me to be and besides these pests both bug and human, I’m fighting.

“I have only one rule. Everybody fights, no one quits. If you don’t do your job, I’ll kill you myself!” Jean Rasczak, Starship Troopers (1997)

It bugs me when people try to be inspirational Lady Lu, the store manager tried that today… it was more to the point of walking out with a smile on your face and implementing his strategies so I don’t get fired. When I write I can’t say inspiration has ever been in the cards… okay, truth be told I do want certain actions but I won’t get anyone to follow me which doesn’t look well on a dominant. I’ve already said I see people as pests, most people, bringing chaos to my ordered universe but I bet pests of all species see me the same.

Is that the reason I’m always on the run, sadly I noticed this when I was only a child, being a spider only looks good if you’re Spiderman or more to the point the girl on his arm. I’m not scared of bugs for the most part, now women… seriously I think I have enough to say I’m not but those were luck, from a spider to a mosquito, I don’t think I can call that an upgrade at all.

Am I starting to sound like one of those buggy kids because here’s another bug relation, gnats, that’s how it feels in my head sometimes, I can’t see, I can’t hear, I can only run and keep running and they just keep coming so what do I resort to my friend, what poisons do I have on me? What chance does a “man” have in this world, maybe you can see why I rather stay indoors, people walking around like they’re lions, tigers, and bears but their bugs, in truth what do I have to fear, being an open wound?

Isn’t that another reason I have you, Luna, I bleed it all out here and then I can close myself off, I can protect myself but that’s just it, I’m still not doing that fully.

Why not just let my dog bite my hand so I can stop the tick that’s biting him, there seems to be no respite in this mad season; did it again didn’t I, always remembering the incident. Yesterday it looks like somebody didn’t forget about me, I heard from “okay”, I’m being invaded on all fronts Luna, without and within.

Still fighting the war outside and losing but do I miss those days when there nowhere else to go, one day I might just take off. Easier said than done, I haven’t been reading much or sleeping much, and before I can take “Indiana” (yeah I’m going Zombieland with her name) to the movies I have to deal with Braxton. Hiding in fantasy isn’t what I need right now is it but I’ve been lost in my new obsession “Saints Row” for days on end.

Some of my viewing habits are like going to the zoo while others are becoming annoying and yet I let them bite me over and over, nobody goes to Hooters for wings, no one goes to a strip club for the DJ, and who goes to the zoo to watch the flies? At the end of the day, we need the bees don’t we, and I’m sure other bugs have their purpose, other pests have their purpose but not Ticks, you know how I feel there. The good news is I’m only bugging you with my problems as of late, though I let things slip to Indiana and Okay from time to time I guess.

So what have we learned today other than I got the bug, call it whatever you like, anxiety, writer’s block, fever? If only a doctor could cure what ails me as easily as the vet could fix Braxton if it comes to that and soon.