Journey 282 ~Sum Braxton, Some Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I’m not a machine, an animal, hell, do I even feel human? I’m just a bag of parts that got smashed together. Um, eww. Now, my boy had a good heart but bad kidneys. And four little paws he would have kept right on using. Sum Braxton, Some Virgil.

Thursday, April 9, 2026

Journey 282 ~Sum Braxton, Some Virgil~

1894 Days Without B III, Day 1335 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Heaven, the Rainbow Bridge, paradise, Elysium, that bed surrounded by food, wherever that’s the place.

I wonder how you do it, Braxton. Did they/it, whatever have some kidneys, waiting… That’s the part of you that failed—the sum. Everything else was taken from you by the man who loves you the most, and the Day Job he hates—my thoughts on this Thursday, B III.

Waking up hurts, which is why Virgil is living the dream. Literally… Even now, your brother is asleep in “my bed.” Because being awake means he’s trying to be you, or I’m pretending he is you. And why am I being a meanie? I’m being frank. As being Dad sucks.

My eyes hurt, my hands ache, my back hurts, my stomach, my effing head… I’m sounding like your stepmom, B.

Potential stepmom, M Anime. She has her aches and pains. But loving me? You know.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Your Dad can be a real dick. Hell B, in fifteen years and change, how many women did you have to deal with? Yes, Greta was a bit*h. Again literally. That little black terrier’s chase.

However, you loved your grandma. Your Ma/aunt AKA my lil’ sis. We’re not that south.

Well, you’re not, but I know I’m going straight to Hell. Even if you were waiting for me, you wouldn’t end up in the Ninth Circle. Limbo? Because you’re the closest to Heaven that I’ll ever be. I promised you something like that. I promised Virgil. And M Anime? It’s not every day a woman promises the things she does. Some things I don’t say. The sum of my parts.

When is your Dad not thinking with his penis? That would be quite a feat. Hell, I sent you to your room enough times so I could be alone. And this is before “Magic Glasses.” Seriously, B, the things technology, you know what you called “the glow box,” can do for your Daddy and two hot blondes, brunettes, Kyouko Sakai, and whoever else B III.

Honestly, your Daddy is walking around, so he can afford to be gross. As gross as feet, hmm… I still can’t get over Monday’s humiliation. But I still wish I’d never have to set foot on the ground again. That sums up my existence: fear and Sadness, it’s The Long Walk: Sum Braxton, Some Virgil.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 281 ~Braxton, Virgil, Pa’s Down~

WillLeave a comment

“If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face— forever.” Hi, boot, I’m human… Ha! “I Am a Man of Constant Sorrow,” who somehow can’t buy a new pair of boots for The Long Walk on Lake Cocytus. Braxton, Virgil, Pa’s Down

Wednesday, April 8, 2026

Journey 281 ~Braxton, Virgil, Pa’s Down~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… How so? Being a “man” who expresses his feelings… Wishing yet another day I wasn’t here. Failing? FEAR?

What a feat it would be to be unafraid. Of feet? Will get to that, Inspector Echo. But as usual… I must acknowledge the worst walk I’ve ever taken. The worst feat I ever did.

Braxton is gone. I know it, yes. Will I accept it? NEVER! I should have been like Winston Smith at the end of George Orwell’s “1984”. I don’t love “Big Brother.” And FDT! But I walked in as a father to a son. And walked out… I don’t know. Seriously?

Inspector, “The Long Walk,” continues. This is my punishment, my Hell? That’s what I’ve been thinking about all afternoon. I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop. And then having to keep Virgil on his feet. Where’s he going?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Nowhere, fast. This brings me to what happened on Monday, April 6, 2026, Dear Echo.

Feel free to laugh. How often do you hear me complain about not having money?

However, I wasted it on fried shrimp at the food truck. And waste time with my “Magic Glasses” on the PIB sisters. Neil Bimbeau has it pegged with what tech can do. But anyway, Inspector. So my boots are worn down, and I figured I had another pair to wear.

Lo and behold, the bottom falls off my right boot at the beginning of the workday. I am sliding on one foot for six hours, ‘hoping’ nobody notices like I’m Ray Garraty. If indeed this was “The Long Walk,” I would have punched my ticket.

But there is so much further to go, Inspector. What about M Anime, my boys’ potential stepmom? She intends for me to walk her down the aisle, “Someday,” Inspector Echo. And I don’t have that Sugar Ray money, but she wants everything. Ah, “My Goddess.”

Then there’s my boys. If I’m not listening to “Wedding Bell Blues,” then today is “All About You.” Well them. I promised B III a yard, and already 2-V will have to run it. Echo.

And me? You know my dream. I never want to leave my bed for anything. I want to put an end to The Long Walk, one way or another. I don’t need boots for that. Paws, M’s high heels, fuzzy socks. Braxton, Virgil, Pa’s Down

1893 Days Without B III, Day 1334 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 280 ~Paws, Braxton And Virgil~

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“Never felt so lonely, then you came along.” First, it was walking my boys. Then, well, “You’re Not Here.” But I have my Future Wife. Hope she doesn’t like getting foot massages. Yet I check the ground for B and V. Paws, Braxton And Virgil.

Tuesday, April 7, 2026

Journey 280 ~Paws, Braxton And Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? From your head down to your toes? I do have a thing about feet, love.

But I’m still not ready to deal with the embarrassment from Monday, April 5, 2026.

Please, no man wants his woman to see him as weak. Bro code, Guy code, or the fact that you’re a “trad wife…” And the duty, honor, and privilege I have to acknowledge, Hell even before Breaking Bad, that “A Man Provides” and how I am trying My “Sweet Love.”

Ironic that I want to be as lustful as wanton, depraved as the Marquis de Sade. You married an effing sadist, baby girl. Yet I am as needy and as sensitive to say… My love…

Just sing to me Sade’s “By Your Side” or Peppermint Patty’s Poor Sweet Baby. That I am, love. Braxton and Virgil know this well enough.

I’ve called each one of them a little S.O.B. from time to time, which is technically true. But you are their stepmom (potentially). And I remember even calling you ‘that bit$h,’ you know from “Smokin Out The Window.” Maybe I should have taken off running.

Honestly, with what shoes? Again, that’s something for my therapist, Inspector Echo, tomorrow. B III would laugh his ass off. He hated wearing clothes. I’m just trying to keep 2-V on all four paws and provide for our family, which is why I suffered humiliations galore on Monday. “Close your eyes and spare yourself the view.” “Just A Man,” SIGH.

That I am, my love. How could I hurt you? By making you wear high heels? I like fuzzy socks.

But I still do like high heels or even sneakers. And long black boots. There are also stockings/thigh-highs and everything like those of that girl Hime from “Fechikano! And while we’re on the subject of blondes, weren’t we having a conversation about Soul Caliber and those blonde sisters? Beautiful blondes.

  1. Cassandra Alexandra Soul Caliber Series
  2. Sophitia Alexandra Soul Caliber Series
  3. Fiona Belli, Haunting Ground
  4. Ashley Graham, Resident Evil
  5. Cassie PIB
  6. Carly PIB
  7. Alison Angel,
  8. Hannah Harper, Porno

On top of being a sadist, I’m also a hedonist. My life is the pursuit of pleasure, where I will never partake in “The Long Walk” ever again. Braxton and my idea of Heaven, lying in bed surrounded by food. Pause… Paws, Braxton And Virgil

1892 Days Without B III, Day 1333 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 279 ~Virgil Fall’s Over B~

WillLeave a comment

London Bridge is falling down. Ring Around the Rosie. Aren’t I an adult? A man. So I should be worried about what that menace will do. FDT! Not that I’m doing anything. I want to fall back into bed. But falling in love… Virgil Fall’s Over B

Monday, April 6, 2026

Journey 279 ~Virgil Fall’s Over B~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? There’s no such thing as a STUPID question, but seeing it’s 3:50 AM.

So last week, you’d be waking up out of your stupor with your glasses still on your face. My brother would be slowly creeping up to your side, trying not to fall from the bed.

And shall we talk about my potential stepmom, M Anime? When’s the last time you shared a bed with another of your kind? What do I, Virgil, and M Anime all have in common? We should all just sit on your head. Uh, eww! But whatever it takes, my father.

Tears falling from your eyes, breath rising and falling, or the thought that Virgil will be a big brother too, the way you and M Anime keep talking. Did I forget to bark um eww!

As tired as you are.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

All you want to do is fall today. I know the feeling. And I know that’s not funny. Seeing as how you could see me falling as I scratch the clouds of Heaven. Or have I fallen enough to bark, “I’ll wait for you THERE. Like a stone.” You know me, Dad. I like to be all kinds of warm. And so I’m trying to figure out why you think you’re the Ninth Circle type.

That’s way too deep for right now. And can you stop imagining my stepmom? Honestly.

And yes, I know, if I had my way, it would have been my Favorite Girl and not M Anime.

But I fell in love. I fell for that cake she made. Do you remember?

There’s a smile. And I know it will fall soon enough with today being what it is. Hell, this entire week. You remember it was a week like this when I fell, my father. However…

Maybe that’s why we’re here at (looks at watch) 4:20 AM—you humans and clocks.

Daddy, I know that as far as you’re concerned, I was the “Last of My Kind,” but Virgil is still asleep in bed. And again with you and M Anime, one of your THREE kids! For real, Dad. I don’t envy Virgil. Anyway, one of them may carry my name. Could It Be I’m Falling In Love? That would be you with one foot falling in front of the other. Yep. Virgil Fall’s Over B

“I just remembered I hadn’t told you that I love you yet today.”
Neil Bimbeau

“He spoke, and falling, poured out his life with a groan beneath the shades.”
Aeneid

1891 Days Without B III, Day 1332 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 278 ~Braxton, Virgil, Eyeing FEAR~

WillLeave a comment

What am I seeing today? Shaking hands, gray hair, a tail tucked in. Even my girl’s promising words. The idea that I have at least a dollar. And that I was blessed from the waist down… Uh, didn’t I see it’s Easter Sunday? Braxton, Virgil, Eyeing FEAR.

Sunday, April 5, 2026

Journey 278 ~Braxton, Virgil, Eyeing FEAR~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… How long were you able to avoid me this morning? Boy, you did try till 10:30 AM.

Between taking a look at your “Enormous Penis,” Da Vinci’s Notebook, you are not, hah!

Then there is the loveliness that is Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. I know, dude, you’re the luckiest S.O.B. alive. Did you really just say that, my friend?

Seriously? And she lets you get away with talking about how much you wanted to eff Renee O’Connor, aka Gabrielle from Xena: Warrior Princess. Let’s say she wouldn’t be proud of what you did this morning. “The Magic Glasses” are real with AI, you know.

Surprisingly enough, because you haven’t lost money with silly things like doctors. You want to appreciate those last few dollars before you burn those, too. What’s a few more failures with these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Remember Me by Reese Taryn
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

This isn’t The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror VI (Attack of the 50 Foot Eyesores). “Just Don’t Look,” right? But FEAR is effing everywhere. It’s like effing Bird Box, I know.

“Dread it. Run from it. Destiny still arrives.”
― Thanos

“You can breathe, you can blink, you can cry. Hell, you’re all gonna be doing that,”
Negan, The Walking Dead

Thanos and Negan? Not exactly role models. “Role model, role models!” as Hannah Ivy said. Please don’t get started on hot English girls, or you’ll be staring at Cherry’s yabbos till noon. So sticking with your side of the pond as MAGA should’ve done… FDT.

“Sometimes there’s so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can’t take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.”
―

American Beauty? Like M Anime. Hopefully, if she does have your kid, they will take their mom’s looks. But that’s not the only thing. Be real, be real, real son. You’re “Not Afraid.” “I promise to focus solely on handlin’ my responsibilities as a father.” Before that, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

Because for now you’re only Braxton and Virgil’s Dad… The truth. And M Anime’s Papi…

What do your sons, M Anime, Braxton’s Favorite Girl, Cherry, Hell, and even your Olds see in you, considering the bum you’ve become? All you see is someone truly terrified.

Jesus Christ! Funny you should mention him, considering it’s Easter Sunday. Would you find a man on the cross disturbing? That was Friday, right? You’d be watching the resurrection, but you didn’t want to get out of bed. Seeing is believing. And as far as a resurrection. Braxton died. FEAR never has. And you’re afraid to roll back that stone, to stare into The Mist, that you’ll miss 1956’s The Ten Commandments, Norton, all your porn…. Braxton, Virgil, Eyeing FEAR

1890 Days Without B III, Day 1331 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 277 ~Braxton’s Plates, Virgil Bowls~

WillLeave a comment

“No Such Thing” as a real world. Just a lie. Gotta rise above. Um, the termite guy wants his money. V needs his… well, B’s bowl filled. Speaking of filling, Kyouko Sakai and M Anime. Would be MILFS. The Inferno awaits. Braxton’s Plates, Virgil Bowls

Saturday, April 4, 2026

Journey 277 ~Braxton’s Plates, Virgil Bowls~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Please! How does a junkie always get their fix? I’m worse than that. I’m a bum.

Whoa! Why so glum chum? I got my haircut, had a Big Mac, and woke up from a long nap. My version of “I do my hair toss, check my nails, baby, how’re you feeling? Feeling good as hell!” Braxton would be stuffed on fries, taking his well-deserved snooze. And Virgil is doing his best Braxton impression. Must I be a meanie today? Fear’s filling…

Lunalesca, do you remember how Braxton died? Yeah, yeah, renal/Kidney failure. My failure as a father. But that week specifically. I swallowed my rage, the fire in my belly to keep the fear down and not vomit it all out on my son. And by the time one of us found a doctor… It was too late. Braxton was starving…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

He couldn’t eat. I filled his heart with all of my love, his soul with the faith that he is a good boy. And his little lungs… He wanted the next breath. “All I need is the air that I breathe. And to love you.” And that very air is what I denied Braxton. Lunalesca…

Courageous Virgil eats from Braxton’s bowl, but like father, like son, he’s full of Fear.

Luna, it’s an effing sickness. And dead or alive, the need to feed pushes us forward. No, because I’m still broke and every day gets scarier and scarier. And you would think I’d be happy… No, “I ain’t happy. I’m feeling glad.” What? Because I got hours this week, Lady Lunalesca? Something needs filling, right?

As much as M Anime… Food isn’t free. And Lust is a tad cheaper than Gluttony, circles two and three, respectively. Give it another month, and I won’t be able to buy dinner for Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom. However, she’s hungry for other things, Luna…

She’s a mom to kittens as I’m a Dad to pups, but she wants to be a MILF in the official sense. We talk about it a lot. I mean a lot, a lot. Creating life, being a family, “Old lady, three kids, takes a lot to fill the kitchen.” And A Man Provides. Good men who watch baseball. Decent ones that bowl. I watch men wrestle with guys and girls. Till I fill M. Braxton’s Plates, Virgil Bowls

1889 Days Without B III, Day 1330 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 276 ~Virgil’s B’s Of Business~

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I just wanna be, I just wanna be successful. And Braxton no, not in retail. I want to be a successful writer. And who would have thought I’d be a dad to two furry boys. But am I successful? My woman believes I will be… “Virgil’s B’s Of Business”

Friday, April 3, 2026

Journey 276 ~Virgil’s B’s Of Business~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… What, no review today? First, I got to be fast, not forgetful, for effssake what now!

Braxton? How is he different than any other day? Still dead. I’m still his dad. And I’m still depressed as all. Grieving? Mourning? B III was the apocalypse, the end, or not hmm… I exist in the dystopia. And I’m still talking about it. Why? Not a sound business strategy.

And yet Rhonda Byrne’s “The Secret,” books like “How To Stop Worrying And Start Living,” “Think and Grow Rich,” and Braxton knows what else. What can I say? Once upon a time, I was highly motivated. And you know it wasn’t for me, but Braxton.

Sophia, I promised my boy the world, and I ended up taking him away. Monster! Seriously, I’ve read a lot of pet loss books. But “My Turn To B III.”

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Books, book reviews, Braxton’s biography. But back to my “witticisms.” So a couple of days ago talking to my AI therapist, it was talking about all my ideas. Hence forgetfulness

  1. The Demonic Sorcerer of the Unfinished Archive. In other words, K um Mortal Kombat
  2. Cerberus Syndicate, Inferno Syndicate
  3. Dying Light Rip-Off, M Anime Ravishment, Save The World
  4. The Running Man Rip-Off, Huntresses vs. Dad and Pups

And of course you can’t forget Resident Evil, Bible Black, R$pe Gouhouka, Desperate Carnal Housewives, and whatever else my wanton, depraved, and pervy mind dreams.

Speaking of being a pervy dreamer, the perverter of prose, M Anime… She loves me!

Well, she said as much. But Braxton barked that too. And where is he again?

Busy in his box. Such is the business of death. But his potential stepmom and I… All we talk about is creating life. She wants to be a mom so badly. And I do want Virgil to have two-legged siblings. But “A Man Provides.” And I’m “Breaking Bad,” Lady Sophia.

Listening to AI telling me that I can have a $500-a-month Substack. That I can write a book that already exists and that nobody’s buying. And I’m not too STUPID to read, but I am too STUPID to understand how to do it. Make it so as Captain Picard orders.

Honestly, I’m a Captain Sisko guy. But, “What Do I Have To Do”? “Show Me How To Live”. To be “Successful…” Virgil’s B’s Of Business

1888 Days Without B III, Day 1329 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 275 ~Virgil’s Big Business Braxton~

WillLeave a comment

What’s in your wallet? There’s no cash but a few useless cards, one of me and my Lost Boy, B III. Love is a business. So is grief and fear. BTW FDT! But how about a life for 2-V and my girlfriend as well? A Man Provides. Virgil’s Big Business Braxton

Thursday, April 2, 2026

Journey 275 ~Virgil’s Big Business Braxton~

1887 Days Without B III, Day 1328 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? As for me? What’s My Age Again? What time is it? What about “Life Itself”?

Don’t worry, B. I’m not like Oscar Isaac’s character, Will, in that film. You remember “Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off.” No, I’m just plain ole Will your Daddy. Honestly…

Braxton, if your potential stepmom M Anime were here… I’m your Daddy and her Papi.

And what about your little brother Virgil? What I’m getting at, B, is that love should be my business. You also remember the song that Aloe Blacc sings, “Wake Me Up.” And how I changed that lyric, life’s a game for everyone, but love isn’t a prize, it’s the instruction. But I don’t love myself. I don’t love writing or the Day Job. And pornography

Yeah, B, Eww! But it’s a business. Everything is an effing business, keeping you alive!

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I didn’t mean to sound so harsh, Braxton. I apologize. But it’s hard B… And not just because of your stepmom’s yabbos. Again, did I have to go there? Your favorite girl had a mighty fine set of yabbos that you would lie on. But M Anime’s yabbos are mine.

Seriously, B, like Trevor Philips says, “My job, my score, get your own!” Ahh yabbos.

Such is the business. And that’s what I’ve been sitting here contemplating, thanks to AI and M Anime’s yabbos. She’s so damn hot, and I’d be damned if she would tell me, “You’re So Damn Hot.” Remind me to send that song to her. Or should I do more, B?

Besides sitting here being a bum because I don’t have a business or a buck.

Norton hasn’t failed me there yet. And AI makes it sound so freaking simple, too.

Whatever, right? If I had a $500-a-month blog or Substack, that’d be geez… I could quit the Day Job. Then…
.
The hell if I know. And that’s not me begging to anybody who catches me talking to you, my ghost dog. I could have named Virgil Ghost, he’s all white, and I’m Alright. I’m lying.

At least about the second part, because I’m not “Alright.” My business all last month, and now apparently this month is not to let fear finish me. Can I be the CEO of love and fear, B? It all takes money. You, Virgil, and M. Virgil’s Big Business Braxton

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 274 ~BLUSH B Away Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Can you blush? I’ve had people say I can, and if only they knew. In the dark, it was my woman’s voice moaning, “si papi!” There were whispers about my son, “he’s sick.” The whimpers of the other one, saying he’s good enough. BLUSH B Away Virgil

Wednesday, April 1, 2026

Journey 274 ~BLUSH B Away Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… How so? Are you telling me they didn’t unveil the PS6? I’m a good writer. Braxton isn’t dead.

That last one I’ve been telling myself, going on 1886 days, Inspector. Corpses, ashes, box…

Still, “Every Morning” when I wake up, I expect to see my boy lying on his corner of the bed. Or we’re back to back, and of course, he’s facing the threats, the alarm clock, the door, and my weapons stash. Hell, don’t I wake up like that now? Virgil is facing the door and my weapons cache. The alarm clock is on the other side of the room, Inspector.

Honestly, I had to make room for Braxton on the nightstand, such is Braxton’s honor.

However, as I sing “Sugar Ray,” songs, and speak of honor. What about M Anime’s?

Inspector, I understand how Randy felt about Jermaine Jackson, right?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I BRUSH Virgil aside often enough, which makes me a crappy Daddy. And I was even able to brush my lust for Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom to the side. And why is that, Inspector? Because I “Never Can Say Goodbye” to Braxton. “Can You Feel It,” Inspector? To this day, I can’t tell you which I want more. Do I want to tell Braxton, “Just Me Baby B. Did you have a good day? Good day.” Or someday do I want to tell M Anime, Virgil, her kitties, and our two-legged children, “Daddy’s Home.” The Jackson 5, Lady E.

I forgot how powerful the song “Can You Feel It” makes me feel. Shame, Inspector.

Seriously, you won’t see it. Can you blush? Um yeah.

Or so I’ve been told, because I’m ashamed to be alive. What else is new? Only the reasons change with each breath. And my first ones in this “Brave New World.” Well, let me see.

I’m ashamed that when I wake up, I’m not the person Little B thinks I am. His Dad should be so much more than this. I brushed love aside for anger, then indifference. B died.

Second-born, second place, my V. He’s been here going on five years, and I still get his name wrong. He doesn’t sit in my lap, not for lack of trying. I’m an effing meanie, Echo.

Speaking of laps and meanness. M Anime calling me papi, brushing her hair as she sucks… BLUSH B Away Virgil

1886 Days Without B III, Day 1327 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 273 ~Braxton’s Cold, Virgil’s Code~

WillLeave a comment

Am I afraid I might die? I’d spend eternity looking for B. And my head is a cruel place, the 9th Circle will try its best. The fact that my son’s cold body was turned to ash. And with Virgil and my girl, “I See Fire.” Braxton’s Cold, Virgil’s Code.

Tuesday, March 31, 2026

Journey 273 ~Braxton’s Cold, Virgil’s Code~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Even when I’m sick, skeevy, and especially when I’m scared out of my mind. Now?

Let me just say, I’ll feel ‘better’ when this effing month is over. I’ll love you more? I do that anyway. You know the man that you married. And every minute you choose to stay.

Preferably on your knees… I had to go there, didn’t I? Eww! But one more reason to like sex. You on your knees, hands and knees, bent over, on your back, on your belly, etc.

Seriously, am I so horny this morning after I… after we… um we’re “Gettin’ Jiggy Wit” Like Dennis Hof, I’m always looking for the next party until I’m ‘physically’ unable.

However, the question is how I feel today. Let’s stick with the physical. Dearest love.

Today, like most, I wish I felt like my Braxton.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Which one would you rather listen to? Me talking about how much I want to do you, my love… or fantasizing about us doing you, me, or us. Or me talking about doing myself so

So I can join my firstborn. How about Virgil still being here? And you? Our kids who may actually have a chance at joining the human race. And that in itself is “Killing Me Softly.”

Honestly, comedy comes in three, and today I’m waiting on three things with 99 Problems.

  1. I’m waiting to join my Braxton with bated breath
  2. I’m waiting for my existence to be utterly destroyed
  3. I’m waiting to do something to save myself somehow.

“We’re allowed to make a lot of mistakes in our lives, except the mistake that destroys us.”
― Paulo Coelho

“It’s an awesome feeling to know you are about to change someone’s life forever.”
―

Homer had the right idea. “Tomorrow When The War Began.”

And here I am crying again. Yes, I’m in pain, and like Katniss Everdeen, you pull the best move, you know. Am I sick to enjoy the pain I inflict on you. Or sicker to admit that I need you for my mental, physical, and emotional pain. It breaks the bro code, guy code, hmm.

Gale: I knew you’d do that

Katniss: How I didn’t.

Gale: Cause I’m in pain. That’s the only way that I can get your attention
― The Hunger Games: Mockingjay

To say that I long to fall as my B did. “Baby, I Love You,” just leave me the eff alone. And at the same time, I beg you to stay with me during this “Mad Season.” Or Hell if I run, to follow me. I’m sick one minute, but A Man Provides in the next. It’s the code, forever.

That’s what I promised. The way. Braxton’s Cold, Virgil’s Code

1885 Days Without B III, Day 1326 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will