Tale 287 ~B’s Wrapping Virgil’s Gift~

The whole armor of God? I’m more the death shroud with my name on it… So the guys at the morgue can identify the body. But my son. He knows what books I’ll identify with. He sends rap when I’m in a “mood.” And helping V? “B’s Wrapping Virgil’s Gift.”

Saturday, April 13, 2024

Tale 287 ~B’s Wrapping Virgil’s Gift~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… That’d make me something more than Disgusting, Depressed, or “Dee, Dee, Dee,” as Carlos Mencia says.

Do I want to begin the day like this? As with most, I didn’t want to start the day. Period. Too bad, I’m reading a book that involves a resurrection… No! Not the Bible, Lunalesca.

Although now that I think about it. Chrissy, ha-ha, “Christ” was resurrected in book three. And here I am in novel five. That is if you want me to feel grateful for anything, dear Lu.

I will be eternally grateful for my son, Braxton. He gave me 15 years of joy and love that I didn’t deserve, Lady Lunalesca. His presence in my life was/is a constant reminder of the beauty and fragility of life. I also need to check Virgil’s vaccinations. He’s not being sick all over the place. How many things am I supposed to show gratitude about on any given day? Hmm.

Resurrection, Rebirth, Realize, B III.

I’ll stick with 3—as in my three lucky numbers… 3, 5, and 15. These numbers hold a special place in my heart, reminding me of the precious 15 years I had with my son, Braxton. I could really use a wish right now, my Lady. But more than wishing to win the lotto, I want my B back. As always, right, dear Lady Lunalesca.

How about wishing for wisdom? Or some woman, excuse me, women, HaremLit. I could wish not to hate a man named Will, who I see in the mirror every morning.

Anyway, let’s stick with wisdom. Whether I meant to or not, I’ve been studying up on resurrection. Take, for example, my last three books. Again, that is my magic number.

Lunalesca, I’m reading an Eric Vall title now. In another book, the protagonist, Darrow, returned from the dead, right… In Outbreak Rising 2, the narrative was chock full of the dead, which made me reflect on the concept of resurrection.

Every morning, I have to wake up and see the world like Joe Stevens, Bingham Madsen, or Ben. I could go on. All told, life is a gift, and the world has a nice little bow. Now, I could be all Tony Montana and talk about wanting the world Lunalesca. But I liked it when I was working towards giving everything to my only son.

But what about Virgil? What about me? Have you seen the world outside, dear Lady? Virgil spends most of his outside time sitting by the stairs, wanting to come inside.

Lunalesca, I would prefer if it was a wrap for me. I stay cold, covered, and cowardly, Lunalesca. That’s a wrap. B’s Wrapping Virgil’s Gift

1168 Days Without B III, Day 609 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 262 ~Love Lies, B…eing Virgil~

Breathe in and out. It’s a simple thing. But I got the paperwork from the vet’s proving how hard it is. I have more than enough from the Day Job, doctor’s office, and my dad. I hope to have some for a bigger family. Hmm. Love Lies, B…eing Virgil

Tuesday, March 19, 2024

Tale 262 ~Love Lies, B…eing Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… And it hurts sometimes. Good morning to you. But pain, fear, and missing my boy.

The things that get me up in the morning. What about love? It’s at the core of everything, my love. But I know what you’re asking. “What’s Love Got To Do With It?” With us?

Before we go any further, is that today’s tunage sent by my Braxton? Please! Ha-Ha! Neither is the zombie ambiance that, by the day, is more and more of a habit to listen to while writing. Why not listen to you, my beautiful wife? I love you. Those three words.

Always, always, I long to hear them but there is so much more. So much that it overflows, overwhelms, and overtakes me. And all I’m trying to do is keep breathing for a moment longer.

To hear my Braxton breathe.

But what about you, our children, Virgil, all the things I’ve built, all we’ve created? Dearest, “Hey Lover,” I’m being bombarded by the winds. Even now, they’re turning my pages… Not literally! I usually read on a tablet. There’s the sound of Haley playing, trying to blow away the sounds of the dead with her “Hurricane.” There’s in and out…

Breathing, my love, I wonder.

Why? So I hear, I love you. And I do, my love, always and forever. I will always mean it. But it is the same for my Braxton. It didn’t end when he lay in his bed and fell asleep.

Like father, like son, love.

I’ve been a fan of The Walking Dead forever. But when Braxton joined the Dead…

Where he goes, I will follow. But not this time, because there’s all this Air. How do THEY say, water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink? Air, Air, everywhere, and not a want to breathe. But because there’s love? To think those that I love would outnumber B.

And if I were to lose you or anyone, especially by my hand. Is that why I lie here, love?

Isn’t that what took my Braxton? The day he needed me, I wrapped him up in my arms and slept away the humiliation, heckles, and hatred of all those who would draw breath. In particular, myself, the man in the mirror? I miss my B III’s eyes looking towards me.

Yours? Love Lies, B…eing Virgil

1143 Days Without B III, Day 584 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 255 ~Spell Manhood, B, V~

Don’t crying to your Mama. Cause you’re on your own in the real world. I swear I hear that song every day at the Day Job. And here I am, nearly 40 and ready to text mine because… You wouldn’t believe it. Where’s my pride or mind? Spell Manhood, B, V.

Tuesday, March 12, 2024

Tale 255 ~Spell Manhood, B, V~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… My spelling could be called into question. My courage, too. Even this very existence, love.

But my love for you should never be in doubt despite everything. I’ll even include the loss of my son. I love you. That is the correct answer. And yet, I remain full of questions.

Since yesterday? Try, 1136 days ago. But Monday was a particularly hard one. And you know what I do with a hard one. Eww! Well, no! You like my sense of humor. And what was it that Marilyn Monroe said? If you make a woman laugh and all that. My love, I’m trying to figure out how to provide. Please! Isn’t that solved, considering billions?

Existing isn’t the problem. Living is. “We’re the ones who live.” Of course, I would be one to quote “The Walking Dead.” A dead man.

And what does that make you? My Sabriel, my Michonne, one of Jacob’s, Grayson’s, or Eddie’s girls. I swear! For my love of pop culture. I started my day reading “Backyard Dungeon 7.” Because I don’t love what’s going on outside in our backyard. Braxton?

Yeah, my firstborn would have something to “bark” about that. And what about the front…

That’s what I’ve been thinking about since yesterday. Besides Braxton, wondering where my bravery is and giving into, boo… I mean Cantaloupes. Critics and censorship can be as spoiled as our children, if not worse. But who am I to talk? Husband, Father, Owner, Man…

A Monster, Ahh! My Love…

As the song goes, “I wanna be your man.” Ha-Ha. But what Braxton sent today…

My son tried. “God” knows he tried. All the moments when I thought I had become a man. I didn’t chase those moments… necessarily. But nevertheless, they came, my love.

The first time a girl let me… I thought, yeah, I’m a man. No! It meant I officially like girls.

What about the first time I got into a fight? I’ve never been to war. But the mere act of breathing for me… Not that I mean to offend fighters, warriors, or soldiers. But my manhood? War never changes. The fight never ends. Yet I look out the window and… I want to call my Ma. Well, text because I am without courage. And manhood.

There’s you, our children, Braxton, Virgil. Spell Manhood, B, V

1136 Days Without B III, Day 577 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 248 ~Hear B, Hear V~

I don’t know what kind of man I am. But for this week, at least, I would be glad if I could be a voice. And what would I say? When did I last say I love you to anyone besides my dead fur buddy? And no one would understand it. Hear B, Hear V

Tuesday, March 5, 2024

Tale 248 ~Hear B, Hear V~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… If there’s one thing, I want you to understand. It’s that I love you, Always.

We’ve only just begun to live, as the song goes. I should find another way to communicate other than with pop culture references. As if you haven’t been hearing it all this time, my love. Braxton didn’t care. He understood me in one way, but you are much different. Right.

Braxton knows me as his father. And to you, I’m a… uh… fine man. But you both know me as a friend. And I’m sure on many occasions, I was “Daddy.” Do you know what I am saying? Because that’s what’s been bothering me since last week. Not being understood.

And I don’t know how to say what I need to say. Ever. The why should be easy, my love.

I love you. That’s all.

So why do I continue to mourn and grieve for my Braxton? I don’t know how to say goodbye. You’re a testament to that as well. You’re here. That’s how we live, isn’t it, love?

I’m here, we’re here, they’re here. We all are right here. And I don’t know how to move on. I need the words to move people. Even if it’s good or bad at this point. I need to communicate. And when someone tells you, you’re inappropriate and irrelevant, my love.

Why do you keep speaking? I ask myself every time I look in the mirror. With enough money, what I say is OK. I use others’ looks in the businesses I run. But please listen.

I love you. Please understand!

But I miss my boy. I miss B III. And I don’t see why that is so hard to understand, love. And as far as 2V, my love? I took responsibility. Friendship, love, and happiness? Understand that I wish I could be the man that I once was. I don’t want to remember the child I was. And then there was Braxton. Now, I’m trying to figure out everything else.

But our love. And not only that, but anything and everything nobody wants to understand. Or it’s me. I can love plenty without loving myself. I’m ain’t happy. And I shouldn’t say I am happy for everyone else. But I’ll be glad if you’re happy, our children, Braxton and Virgil. Understand? Hear B, Hear V

1129 Days Without B III, Day 570 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 241 ~Virgil Loves To B~

Ask me the type of man I want to be. A good one, godly, one that is gone? I wouldn’t leave my family, but it was the other way around with Braxton. And did I tell him to go? Not in so many words. But Virgil’s here, alive. Virgil Loves To B?

Tuesday, February 27, 2024

Tale 241 ~Virgil Loves To B~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… I love being in love. But much like the Marquis de Sade’s views on lust.

Love is in everything, everywhere entire. Well, not if you’ve turned on the TV and looked at your phone. Then there’s your husband. I often compare myself to a zombie. However, I’m not “gone” yet. My boy still is —my B III. And I still feel that he’s out there.

Braxton’s love? He and I are still connected, like father, like son. As the song goes, “No, there’s nothing that I wouldn’t do. To make you feel my love.” While I’m on a musical kick, what about, “And I would do anything for love. But I won’t do that.” What?

Give up, my boy? I did, and I didn’t. I wish I could still blame my hand. But that doesn’t explain my laziness right now.

Three years ago, I was writing plenty. I wrote two tales, both for my little boy. But for what? Hmm. How often have I prattled on about B III, and you’ve been here to listen?

And it was only a year and some change. I was putting cash down to save Virgil Vivi. Saying it like that makes me think. What an insult! Since I couldn’t save Braxton. Or us?

I love you. You are my life. And if I ever get back to the Red Rising series, you’ll be my Eo saying, I must live for more. But I do live for you and our family. And yes, I make sure Virgil is still breathing. Because if something were to happen to me, love…

Would anyone even notice? Again, it’s like I’m a zombie. A time-traveling zombie. Now, that is an idea worth exploring. But not now since it’s Sunday, February 25, 2024. That means The Walking Dead is coming back. Well, “The Walking Dead: The Ones Who Live,”

Today, am I doing that? It’s a hard thing bringing back the dead. How did Jesus get it done? Oh, I can hear the holy rollers now saying he is God. And what about the whole God is love verse? And I’ll give you one more musical verse… “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.”

Or she… You’d love to bring me back as a friend, lover, husband, and father. Virgil wants to be a dog. Virgil Loves To B

1122 Days Without B III, Day 563 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 087 ~B Fore The Path~

Where are you going? How was your day? Can we go home?” Braxton could ask me so much with only a look. He was either beside me, in front of me. And then when those four little legs of his were too tired. B Fore The Path.

Sunday, September 26, 2021

Chronicle 087 ~B Fore The Path~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but before you get on the road… Don’t watch “The Road.” You don’t need that negativity now.

Is that all of my good advice for you? Telling you not to go into the Day Job would be a horrible idea. How about you go to sleep. Now that would be the greatest call but wouldn’t do you good. Today it’s the same as ever. Pick it up, put it down, up, down. Honest to God, man, you’ve never had anything for “feet” when it comes to your “adult” viewing habits. Well, certain types of “high heels.” White sneakers, those socks with the ankle fringe, and of course, you’re keeping your black socks on. Okay, I’ll stop, sigh. Yesterday I went to see the cute fur babies again, and I walked that central aisle in PetSmart. The last time at Banfield’s Pet Hospital…

Now, didn’t I say something about negativity? All I offer is the truth, nothing more. B’s dead. Jan, 31 I walked that path to see B III off to the Rainbow Bridge. Walking out alone. Then came Feb, 10 when I went to pick up his remains. I failed as his Dad. You did, yep. You should know that you’ll betray Braxton again when it’s your turn this Saturday. Once more, when you’re on the stairs with “Stuff And Thangs,” or whatever in this house. You’ll walk in the Day Job that you hate so much, and yet you stayed as B III was dying. I know you want to take off like Forrest and go running. Hell, I tried. My father beat my ass.

Something I have never forgotten like I never will my son. Or Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, The Handmaid’s Tale
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Yes, like a fucking treadmill, you run, but you ain’t getting nowhere, so why try, right. I can’t tell you where you want to be this week. The last place you were, the last step. Braxton was a step too far, even if an act of mercy. A killer is still a killer. They keep walking, but you are always bound to that life, bound to Hell. What happens next. Walking the path from The Matrix or a member of Eden’s Gate. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading (To Be Determined)
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of B III
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Before B III, there was none. With him, at least you weren’t alone. Without him, “Zombie, zombie, zombie-ie-ie-ie.” You’ll walk regardless B Fore The Path.

238 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

ACROSS From Calvary

I’m an atheist… as far as I’m concerned the so called greatest story ever told is just a crap movie like a really good story The Golden Compass. ACROSS From Calvary as if anyone cares about Jesus, he may not be the way but neither is the crap on TV.

Across from Calvary
People watch and moan
Oh No
Bieber just might be…
The next dancer to see…
X factor was known
An idol unknown
As Jesus maybe

Second in the coming
Zombie Apocalypse
Proof I insist
But there is nothing
Heavy is the cross
Following the last episode of LOST

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Working Stiff

Working myself to the bone… more like working while I’m shaking in my bones; I don’t just hate going to work but I’m afraid to. Working Stiff… I couldn’t be one of those zombies even if I wanted to be but that doesn’t stop me from dying inside.

Working Stiff
Think
What a jiff

All I have to give
Stinks
Take a good whiff

That’s me trying to live
And yet I blink
My dreams are nixed

This is not it
Kool-Aid to drink
Then I’d be fixed

But I drift
The missing link
I just don’t fit

Read my lips
Better yet my ink
Working Stiff
What a jiff

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.