Two well-formed lumps of fat gyrating in my general direction… Ladies and gentlemen, why I’m not Gay or Bi. But I was a Dad once. I’m a Dad now… V. But the last girls V saw were family. But with grief, gyration, and me being a guy. B By Later, Virgil
Thursday, April 18, 2024
Tale 292 ~B By Later, Virgil~
1173 Days Without B III, Day 614 of Virgil’s Arrival
Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Mine’s only just begun, and it’s terrible. Could it be worse? Skip a few pages…
I wouldn’t read you any of Eric Vall’s novels. Though… I’m sure you would appreciate all the “relations” regarding food, which reminds me. I need to check and see if I’ll get to eat next week. Trust me, B, I should enjoy our time together because next week will be… Well, I won’t care for it. But the same goes for today. I have already failed! Sigh. Such is existence.
But even if I went back to sleep. B III I would wake up and see you sitting at the foot of the bed in the corner, protecting me. Those were better days, Little B. Do I need to talk about grief, graves, or goodbyes today? I remember these moments, B, and they comfort me in this sea of sorrow.
It’s seven in the morning. And already, I want this day to end. Myself included.
But there’s no ending to my grieving, B. It’s a constant ache that won’t go away. And that will not make me any cash, but for you… My little Endling. You’ve been gone 1173 days, and I’m still looking up names to call you. At least I’m getting Virgil’s name right. These days. He deserves that, Braxton. Don’t you agree?
You will have to wait for the chance to talk, B. And it’s not because I have a dream, again…
I’ve continued to think about that movie I saw with Virgil the other day. 2003’s “Share?” I’m sure you led me to that one, too. Hulu’s “The Mill.” And Fifteen Million Merits as well, B.
I exist in life like Daniel Kaluuya, who plays Bingham Madsen. You wouldn’t believe what Cherry thought about that mention.
Rumor Has It… I like guys, or I’m Bi, at least. (Shakes head and smiles with a tear) My B.
I trust two men in this world, and you were one of them. But I have only loved one man in this world, and that is the son I raised. I swear, B III, girls sometimes can be just… (huffs). It’s a rollercoaster of emotions, and I’m just trying to hold on. Like Hell, huh?
As far as finding you, or I should say, Virgil, a momma… Love died in bed in the vet’s office. So while I’m all about Girls, Girls, Girls… I’ll Never Fall In Love Again, Braxton.
The End? Never say never, but I can’t just turn a page and see what happens unless I start publishing books and cut out my self-fulfillment. B By Later, Virgil.
“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)
Always and Forever,
Your Dad