“Never go to war. Especially with yourself.” That’s in Lord of War. Friday, I went to see Civil War. It’s serious when certain people are in the theater freaking out. But aren’t I always? B was/is a good boy. Girls? Green? Let’s B Civil, Virgil.
Saturday, April 20, 2024
Tale 294 ~Let’s B Civil, Virgil~
Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… but that money better be in Canadian dollars. Or Quid or pounds… British money, Lunalesca. Whatever.
My Braxton’s memory is a constant struggle for me. I refuse to let it become a mere memory, to be forgotten or dismissed as one of those ‘it is what it is ‘moments, Lady Luna.
But I didn’t start crying over B today, either. The movie I saw Friday, “Civil War,” did the trick. I swear all the things that I’ve given up. Like writing reviews? But the fear remains.
Sitting in the theater yesterday, I thought about the “deal” I made with these girls. JIC, or Just In Case. That’s from Fear The Walking Dead. Anyway. I told Braxton’s Aunt that if The Dead walked the Earth, I’d save her. If it’s political upheaval, there’s M Anime. In a machine uprising scenario, where’s Cherry?
I told Cherry that? What about the things I told her once upon a time? I’m not a perfect person. I don’t want to be a political one. And when I see myself in the mirror, Lady Lunalesca, Dear God! I am pathetic. And if you hear me moaning over Piper Niven and Onna Kyoushi, particularly Honoka Todo—purple-haired women, I swear, Lady Lunalesca. (Drools).
Can I try to be civil? Show some civility. For once, be a civilian. Just keep it in my pants.
It feels like I’m in a perpetual battle with myself, Lady Lunalesca, and I’m always on the losing side. But when Braxton was here? Yes, it always circles back to my son. My brother-in-arms. That was Braxton. And I rewarded his loyalty… with a box.
The picture of his final moment. There’s a reason I didn’t excel at Journalism, Lunalesca.
That was one more thing I was thinking about while watching “Civil War.” I wanted to be a wartime journalist. Can you imagine that? I don’t remember why that was.
Saturday, April 20, 2024, and I’m one day closer to forty. Now, that is something I know I told Cherry. I don’t want to be forty, but Queen said it best. I sometimes wish I’d never been born at all. But I’m here. And what am I doing while sitting in this bed, Lady Luna?
To look up chicks or keep chatting away. I can play a game or make some green. With my words! Grrr! Let’s B Civil, Virgil
1175 Days Without B III, Day 616 of Virgil’s Arrival
B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will