Sin can be exhausting. Lust keeps me awake. Wrath is how I survive the day-to-day. And while I have no pride for myself… well, I am proud of B III. But Virgil? He’s gaining courage but finding it can be tiring and with my laziness. “B A Sloth Virgil”
Saturday, October 22, 2022
Saga 113 ~B A Sloth Virgil~
Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I’m afraid I won’t be. I talk plenty about lust, wrath, and pride but fear.
Fear can be exhausting. I’ve never blamed B III for leaving; oh no, Lady Lunalesca. Braxton’s death and me being the selfish bastard that I am. It’s my failure and my disgrace. That’s true. What I don’t know is what movie that’s from. Lunalesca, to find it at some point. Only, of course, you know what that would lead to. “Fuck goin’ online that ain’t part of my day,” Drake says. Hell! The day is only beginning, and so far, I’ve avoided the porn, Lu. Ok, that’s a lie between Pinterest and Twitter, but how else am I supposed to wake up, I ask. I wonder how Braxton did it. Sure he likes his toy, but he loves me. Locked in his room even, so…
And to think I would protect him from seeing me like THAT! But when it came to my anger, rage, and wrath… I don’t believe Virgil has ever seen me like that. Well, short of when he was sniffing around Braxton’s bed. That’s not for him. There’s B III’s pillow? Lunalesca, if anything, most of my wrath is for myself. I hate myself without question. This week it’s been all about the medication. Which I have come to believe was a waste of money. I can’t afford a specialist. This morning, I only realized that I had missed a dose. Yet I’ll find the strength to go to the Day Job this coming week. I’ll hate every second of it. Oh, and there’s Virgil’s appointment.
Do you remember that movie “Augusta, Gone,” where Augusta argues that she’s a good sister? I keep saying it, I ain’t Virgil’s Dad. But Lunalesca, being V’s owner? GOP bullshit! But I want to show that this place is better for him. Only I keep looking at him, his nails. My fucking pride? I’m sorry about all the swearing. It was the same, Braxton’s passing. Lunalesca, I was the worst person ever when I was holding him there, shaking, dying. Virgil hasn’t hacked up a lung in days. He’s beginning to walk into rooms courageously. Shouldn’t that make me proud? I’ve avoided jacking off for sixteen days. Um, pride, yep. Though the fear remains. Lie here and forget the world, right? B A Sloth Virgil
629 Days Without B III, Day 070 of Virgil’s Arrival
BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,