Lesson 100 ~I Will Have No Fear~

How much time you got or should I just say I’m afraid of the whole world… thankfully that would be a lie but the truth is I don’t want to be afraid anymore. I Will Have No Fear, sooner or later but it’s been more than 66 Days

Monday, October 9, 2017

Lesson 100 ~I Will Have No Fear~

First Rule Madam Justice,

No Fear but honestly You know I could go on for forever and a day when it comes to fear, a toss-up between the things that scare me and the things I wish I could believe. So what does this rule mean to me, no real deeper meaning being my first rule, simple and direct?

“Please explain to me just once, why.
Because I’m afraid!

You don’t think your dad ever felt afraid?
If he did,
he figured out some way to beat it.

Yeah, well, there’s a word for that:
Courage” Green Lantern (2011)

Fear Justice, is a disease, it’s a freaking plague, like a zombie virus, it keeps you moving, keeps you seeking something and in the end what do you do with it? I don’t want to be like my father and that in itself is fear but how does he cover up his fear, anger, hate, do I really need to quote Yoda here. Like most things in my life, I believe if I ever find the root cause of it maybe I can find a way to overcome it but that’s not possible is it?

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” Master Yoda, Star Wars Franchise

Anxiety Justice, “Indiana Gone” wonders how I sleep so well, nightmares usually aren’t a concern, it’s real life so maybe I should list ten things that scared me just today:

01. Leaving Braxton by himself
02. Going to work
03. Getting the door for coworkers
04. Being overwhelmed at work
05. Multiple meetings (huddle)
06. Being called out by coworkers
07. Walking Braxton
08. Kneeling to check if the ground was cool enough for Braxton (Neighbors have a Flag)
09. Anything happening to Braxton, itchy, toenail stuck in collar ring, etc.
10. Work tomorrow and company after
“Welcome to Fight Club. The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: you DO NOT talk about Fight Club!” Fight Club (1999)

This is why I constantly quote this rule Justice if anything I should have gone fight club with it and quoted it twice but that will be for next week. Speaking of which I read somewhere that it takes 66 days for something to become a habit and here I am with one hundred lessons, oh right and writing scares me to which is why I’m so late with this, wondering if I’m making any sense at all.

I’m scared that I’m losing my mind, splitting all these ideas up in my mind you know but since this is in relation to the first rule, I’m scared of what people will think of me. How about being scared that no one is thinking of me at all, and in both of those scenarios what will I do then.

There is nothing to learn this is something I know, I Will Have No Fear

“Thou Art Courageous” Spoken to Link, The Legend of Zelda

“Believe me when I say we have a difficult time ahead of us. But if we are to be prepared for it, we must first shed our fear of it. I stand here, before you now, truthfully unafraid. Why? Because I believe something you do not? No, I stand here without fear because I remember.” Morpheus, The Matrix Reloaded (2003)

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 099 ~Kill You Right Now~

Some days I die and am born anew, other days I am resurrected, but today I’m not sure if I like the man I am but tomorrow I will have to be braver, and I shouldn’t try to weaken that man today. “Kill You Right Now”, no I still have work tonight

Sunday, October 8, 2017

Lesson 099 ~Kill You Right Now~

To Will:
No Fear and so I ask who the hell do you think you’re talking to and why is this even a lesson, and Luna must be feeling pretty bad right now. To be honest, I haven’t even seen you today and I was just about to go outside looking like whatever, didn’t I even want to try and I don’t know be better.

Well, look better because being better is going to take a lot more time and courage than I have today and already I know you’re going to braver. Which brings us back to the question, who the hell am I talking to because, if you are my future I salute your courage, I pity what tomorrow will bring but you will be braver than me I know that much is certain. So what is all this talk about killing, I mean whoever I am this moment, do I want to die, I know the man yesterday didn’t want to, what’s the name of this one, Hurricane Nate and we both want what’s best for Braxton.

Maybe I need to find our similarities, rather than our differences because again you will be strong and I’m weak, you’ll be forced into courage, and for now, I don’t have to be, you’ll be stressed out and I’m just going to be so tired. You’ll work harder though, while I get to dick around on my computer and as I think about our mutual friend, there is always hope isn’t there? I suppose I’ll have blue balls and you might meet someone, I get to laugh about and you’ll be a nervous wreck, what the Hell am I saying.

I want you to be better than me Will, can you promise me that, maybe that’s the lesson, I’m still talking to me but I can already see the damage I’m doing to you, psyching you out and you have a week that you need to survive. No, I say survive but I want you to live, I want to stop hurting you and instead imagine the future that awaits you; I’ll worry about five minutes but you live four days for that is what is required, it’s not fair.

You’ll be richer which is a plus, I won’t kill me or you because there is hope for you yet just too much to want to kill you right now.

I Will Have No Fear

 

Lesson 079 ~Be The Tenth Man~

What kind of man would I be, if I had a choice, would I be the man that gets girls, would I be a gentleman, I’ve never wanted to be Superman and I want Batman’s cash and you’ve heard, don’t try to be a great man, just be a man? Be The Tenth Man.

Monday, September 18, 2017

Lesson 079 ~Be The Tenth Man~

Hey Lady Lu,
No Fear, well not until the first man and I wonder what was he afraid of… God, if the Bible was a fact though I believe there was something else, how could he even define it as fear? When I would attend church there was a song that says something about God not giving us the spirit of fear, so if not it, wherever did it come from, the Devil and who created Lucifer, that too much?

I think I’m getting off topic as I tend to do but I was thinking about my rule “You Are Not a Caveman” Lesson 51 ~Not Easy to Be~ although I don’t know how I’m ever going to remember that, sad I have to look up my own rules. I still plan on making 365 of them and then condensing them down but here’s something else since I didn’t write any poetry yesterday *sigh*. I’m sure I’ve asked this before but what was the first rule, while we’re on the subject of the first fear.

Take for example “World War Z” 2013, I have yet to read the book and on that note, I hate being one of those people admitting I’ve seen the movie but never read the book. My point is in the movie, the man who became the tenth man had to accept fear and prepare to combat it, ignoring it would gain nothing but the end. Fear my dear Lady Lu is all about the wait, it’s sort of the difference between the more traditional slow zombies and the speedy zombies.

“Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst” proverb

While I will keep my rule of “I Will Have No Fear” can I not also embrace the wait, am I afraid if I’m prepared, of course not, because when was is afraid, one cannot think and if anything I think a lot, don’t worry but instead think. The Tenth Man was not told to fear the impossible but instead to prepare for it and that my friend is power.

“Even without the events of 40 years ago, I think man would still be a creature that fears the dark. He doesn’t face that fear, he averts his eyes from it and acts as if he doesn’t have any memories of his past. But, 40 years is both a short time and yet, a long time. Man’s fear has withered. And even time itself tries to wither the desire to know the truth. Is it a crime to try and learn the truth? Is it a sin to search for those things which you fear. My purpose in this world is knowledge and the dissemination of it. And it is I who is to restore the fruits of my labor to the entire world. Fear… It is something vital to us puny creatures. The instant man stops fearing is the instant the species reaches a dead end, only to sink to pitiable lows, only to sit and wait apathetically for extinction. Humans who lose the ability to think become creatures whose existence has no value. Wake up! Don’t be afraid of knowledge! Think, you humans who are split into two worlds, unless you want the gulf between humans to expand into oblivion, you must think! Signed, Schwarzwald.” The Big O

I cannot be the Tin Man, I’m far too late to be the first man, and I suppose it’s not easy to be Superman, if anything I just want to be a man and is that the lesson, if I may surpass the caveman but I not yet ready, so can I will I choose to Be The Tenth Man.

I Will Have No Fear

Think In The Change

What time can be a chain as much as anything else and I didn’t have time to pick up any on the way to the house. “Think In The Chain”, I’ve been wrapped up, tied down, some freaking heavy lately.

Chains can command, conquer, control, Believing
Hoping, that one can be Relieved
At the prospect that with Enough
Intertwined that what we desire may be ours, always And
Never enough but with release will we Know…

Copyright © 2017, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Lesson 060 ~My Work Release Program~

This is not a test but it’s also not an emergency either, however, I did have a bit of a release today a sigh of relief as of sorts but who knows what tomorrow may bring, the days of Sapphire. “My Work Release Program” no life should be a prison

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Lesson 060 ~My Work Release Program~

“You know the funny thing about morphin’? You don’t appreciate it till you can’t do it anymore!” – Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie (1995)

Hey Lady Lu,
No Fear and I never thought I’d say this but work was actually liberating today and no I don’t mean my dream job but the day job for once. Of course writing is a sense of freedom which is what I told “Okay” though to be honest I’ve been terrified, still am in a way but how many times have I quoted Cypher Raige, to you Luna.

“Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. That is near insanity Kitai. Do not misunderstand me, danger is very real, but fear is a choice. We are all telling ourselves a story and that day mine changed.” Cypher Raige, After Earth (2013)

Work is Hell but when it’s all you know… am I grateful, money, security, indeed life as I know it, maybe it makes sense to keep my mouth shut you know? I said once it wasn’t fear that was holding me back but maybe common sense, and I don’t know where I’d be without it, embracing a fear to actually combat a danger that is quite real. My father is that danger and while I hope one day to be fearless and face that danger, I will stick with freedom.

This type of freedom at least, where would I be without it… well, it’s been sixty days since this new beginning, truth be told I wish I had kept my mouth shut, and in the days to come, I will. No, I’m not abandoning you again Luna but I’m onto bigger things, not necessarily better but bigger, if I’m ever going to get anywhere in this life. When I’m talking to you or truly writing, I don’t know whether I’m signing my own death sentence or this is truly my liberation, it could always be one in the same right?

Anyway, this is today’s lesson, work, and release; isn’t that the dominant way, you’re given power for that gift you give something in return and then let go of everything and you and yours are much better off. Maybe you just throw yourself in prison willing only to be released and what happens to most after they released, they wind up going back, easily enough.

“Thank you, but I prefer it my way.” Andre Baptiste Sr., Lord of War (2005)

Sometimes you hang on to something so long, you forget how liberating it can be to just let go, if anything it depends on the thing but I got a lesson in that today, not to mention I’m getting older. My mom would tell me I have a tendency to take my “grievances” out on those who never erred, and I agree to a certain extent, that’s not right but we talked about the experience.

For example, I was so angry with someone today, maybe I was just tired and hot, and hell I’ve been on edge as of late. So anyway I’m leaving, and just sitting in my car and this person says I dropped my shirt, seriously that was it, I said thank you, went and retrieved my shirt from the street and all my anger just left, okay I was cooling and resting but environment considered, I made the choice to let my anger go. Why was it so easy, time heals all wounds… ten minutes sheesh, that’s like a record for me, and the world didn’t end, of course, there is always tomorrow, the day after?

“Oh, life is like that. Sometimes, at the height of our revelries, when our joy is at its zenith when all is most right with the world, the most unthinkable disasters descend upon us.” – Ralphie

That’s the problem isn’t it, the moment you let go, the moment you think the lion sleeps is when you become grade A beef. Talk about having some beef right, but if it helps any wasn’t Facebook started because a guy had a grudge and why do you think so many horror movies are just monsters with axes to grind or trying to live again? How would it feel if everyone just let all that “energy” go, why do you think that society spends so much trying to numb us?

We are given the energy to work, and when we’re finished, whatever lives inside of us, I don’t know, but as they say, hearts were given cages for a reason, and brains are surrounded by white walls. I don’t think I’m alone in my reasoning but that’s part of the reason I’m here talking to you because what people think.

Anyway I am breathing a bit easier, can’t get soft though, can’t think everything is okay and at the moment the tea is helping, I’m becoming a big tea drinker now. This is yet another one of those times though I wish I could be a typical guy, sports, drinking, women, yet another reason I’m a writer… seriously am I even starting to write all these reasons down at all.

As I said I’m getting older but not much has changed, when I was back in school, I’d do whatever, then come back and just pass out, sleep has always been my number one go to, except for “Senseless” but that only lasted a day. What would it truly be like to just let go of everything, sleep just puts it on the backburner and here’s another thing if I let it go today it will still be there tomorrow because people are people. Maybe it’s not so much me letting go than being Atlas and the world just keeps getting bigger and bigger and when you drop it, the consequences, how to cope 101.

A prisoner is released and finds that there is no longer a place for him, not trying to sound like those late night/early morning commercials but men can no longer be men, same with women, the whole human race. The Purge doesn’t say be human it says to “release the beast”, now, of course, I’m not a villain but look at the violence, look at other methods we have to be… I don’t know to make us what passes for normal. Then we have my writing, my conversations with you that have led to everything else, so you say “I hope you feel cleansed” and do I feel that honestly?

If we’ve learned anything, after this, I’m usually tired, I feel drained and we go on to the next day, sometimes better, sometimes worse, I wish there was a better release but again I am not the typical guy. I’m just me, my life today, wish I could have done better, these papers won’t be so long after tomorrow I’m on My Work Release Program.

I Will Have No Fear

Falling Us

On the third day… I had a revelation… three little words “I love you”, most days the word love goes about all willy nilly but when we’re at the end I think that’s all we want to hear. Somebody loves us, I can’t say it to just some girl… Falling Us

So maybe it’s not a cape

But you’re not Lois Lane

Talk about bad news

Maybe… we’ll be happy

If the world keeps spinning round

 

For at least my heart was found

Before it was too late

Moon waxes and wanes

against a new golden hue

Watch World War Three, On Pay TV

 

Oh won’t you Stay With Me

Because I don’t hear a sound

While the world is reshaped

And people go insane

Isn’t that love… who knew?

 

You could love me like you do

My Atom Bomb Baby

Incoming and inbound

Only I don’t want to escape…

again, don’t run from the pain

 

We’ll watch the bombs rain

down and I will still love you

“I love you”… too late or too early

Yeah those words are bound

To fly away

 

Here’s to hoping, WE never find the ground

 

Copyright © 2015 Second Circle Creations, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

 

Inspired by: Mia Rose, Crown City Four “Watch World War Three (On Pay TV)”, Sam Smith “Stay With Me”, Ellie Goulding “Love Me Like You Do” Fifty Shades of Grey Soundtrack, Five Stars “Atom Bomb Baby”, Lenny Kravitz “Again”, 98 Degrees “Still”, “CivilDefenseSpot” (YouTube) and a great many thanks to “Fallout 4”

 

See Me Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbMRhQw3jzo

Mia Rose (Falling Us)

In the Middle of a Queen… Sized Bed

Having the whole bed to oneself can get lonely and they say you sleep better by yourself anyway and the dog doesn’t try to hog the sheets. I’ll pick a side but I should focus on finding a girl first I suppose. In the Middle of a Queen… Sized Bed

And there’s no lying here in limbo

But I want to know

Who lies on the next pillow

or if you’re even there at all

Should I tumble, should I fall

not if I knew the way

To love you

So love me like you do

You can’t be too far

 

Just the left side of the bed

A genie in a bottle

My heroine from what novel…

 

Maybe I’ll guess right

Not falling off the edge of the world

Find my arms around the perfect girl

 

Because no one’s here to sleep

When love’s a possibility

 

Copyright © 2015 Second Circle Creations, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

 

Inspired by: Mia Rose, Jimmy Cliff “Sitting In Limbo”, Foreigner “I Want To Know What Love Is”, Ellie Goulding “Love Me Like You Do” Fifty Shades of Grey Soundtrack, Meghan Trainor “Dear Future Husband”, Christina Aguilera “Genie In A Bottle”, (Several Fictional Heroines), Naughty Boy Ft. Bastille “No One’s Here To Sleep”, and Lykke Li “Possibility”

 

See Me Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgQyckgZ0jQ

Mia Rose 003