Lesson 121 ~Hate Will Keep You Alive~

I don’t want to hate, which is why I spend most days alone with the exception of the dog and sometimes I believe even he is a bit iffy when it comes to me or am I just that paranoid. Hate Will Keep You Alive, and I’m still standing huh

Monday, October 30, 2017

Lesson 121 ~Hate Will Keep You Alive~

Fourth Rule Madam Justice,
No Fear of the two-part rule which I will discuss next week but part one is “hate will keep you alive”, so will love depending on how you define living. Love if anything is meant to be a gift but something you don’t have to work for… there is no such thing as a free lunch, isn’t that right Justice.

Hate, on the other hand, makes you work for it, makes you strive for it if anything mankind has proven time and again that we strive for our own destruction because we make love a job. Would you say humans created weapons out of love for others or hatred though I honestly believe love can be an incredible weapon in itself? Here’s something I’ve always hated, those people that say you can’t love others if you don’t love yourself, this is a damnable lie indeed.

I think I love plenty, okay at least my dog, I love him but most days I can’t stand to look at myself in the mirror. If something were to happen to him though by someone else’s hand I would go to war and I would rampage until justice is done and would that not be out of love for him? How many love affairs spawned from hate, Romeo & Juliet and love for each other killed them before hatred of one another’s family. Can love be taught, hatred has to be, and I’m always on the cusp of quoting Master Yoda’s teaching on fear.

Maybe I fear myself so much which leads to my hatred, I mean I hate so many and my father is at the top of that list or so I assumed a minute ago. I hate enough that I remain in a constant state of exhaustion but is love equal, I don’t love my friends but I do work to make sure their comfortable in my presence and some days I actually hate myself more because of this I think.

Hate is literally what gets me out of the bed most mornings, working a job I hate, I look at the world and I prepare myself to stand as if I were Atlas. Why is it love that makes me a coward and hate that brings forth a zest for life, for my own survival?

It could be other people, how they look at me like they are allowed to do and say whatever and call it kidding, jokes, dame near hate speech, I know, Hate Will Keep You Alive.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 114 ~Now The Work Can Begin~

“You need to get up, get out and get something” as the song goes but why can’t I just be inspired by myself, I could quote forever on what it takes to be somebody but when it comes to my body I rather sleep. Now The Work Can Begin because I’m up

Monday, October 23, 2017

Lesson 114 ~Now The Work Can Begin~

Third Rule Madam Justice,
No Fear, and when I find a way to somehow believe that or find the courage to overcome, not just for a moment, a day, or when my favorite badass song comes on. Not when I’m mad enough to want to burn the whole world down and in so doing end up destroying my own work out of that fear.

The work begins when I stop hating myself for everything, how I make excuses or my how I want to apologize, how about signing anyway my name for stuff I couldn’t care less about. Hating the man I have grown to be in front of so many others, I hate him as much as much as the man I want to be and what about the man I am at this moment. Fear and hate take work and don’t even get me started on love, it’s even another rule, understanding could make up for all of this and that’s work.

My work begins there, they don’t have to love me and I don’t have to love them but I want to know and it doesn’t help, finding places to hide, it doesn’t help just wanting to survive, how about just dreaming of someday and hoping that I will do better tomorrow. Am I trashing hope, no but hoping to move isn’t the same as moving, you can hope to be saved or you can save yourself, or you can be the one that everyone needs saving from, whatever it is you want to do. That is another part of the work, you don’t have to know where you’re going the point is you’re going and judging from how late it is I’ve been on the road to nowhere too long.

Madam Justice the work does not begin, ever sad morning I get up, full of worry and doubt, scared to death, just wanting everybody to leave me alone, counting the minutes I can climb back into bed. My work started yesterday when I saw my blog get a secure rating, my work started when my fingers began hitting keys, my work started when at the moment we started talking I hated it, maybe still do but I’m here and why can’t I do this every day with people, another thing for my to-do list possibly.

If I finally decide Madam Justice, I have to decide, Now The Work Can Begin.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 064 ~What A Wonderful Rut~

I see empty roads, not a person true, okay excuse me for trying to rewrite a song but it truly was a beautiful world with no people in it, not the usual state of things but it’s our routine to walk in the morning Braxton and I. “What A Wonderful Rut”

Sunday, September 3, 2017

Lesson 064 ~What A Wonderful Rut~

Hey Lady Lu,
No Fear and don’t call it a comeback, or God’s plan the way I live my life, and what some would call a rut I would sing What A Wonderful World. Not all sunshine and lollipops, but they’re not all they’re cracked up to be either and I could all be doing better I suppose, I am by no means satisfied but comfort is doing any favors.

I should probably make a new rule just for that, seems I’ve been getting lazy, you should have seen me yesterday but I am finding my writing voice again to a certain degree, just too bad you haven’t seen much of that here yet. What this is only the third day, I wonder how long the pilgrims stayed on the boat, what about Martin Luther King Jr. might have been comfortable just being a small town preacher. Some yes some people might indeed call it a rut but maybe it’s just “prudent planning” and it’s not like anyone is telling me to remake the world?

I suppose you have to imagine what God’s typical day must have been like for him to go about creating this Sims universe, at first it’s pretty exciting, then you’re Johnny on the spot having to micro manage everything, then you’re letting the world run itself and finally you go all “Mortal Kombat” with your death scenarios or you’re just watching it burn for the Hell of it. Today I imagined paradise as Braxton and I walked along watching a world gone to rapture, just let me keep Braxton and maybe I should get an engineering degree and we would be just fine. No, my dear Lady Luna I want to be a writer but to be fair I never went to school for that either and any real writing I did even left me in the counselor’s office or gave me the juvenile blues, and now I’ve grown up.

Yes, of course, I say that but handling responsibility doesn’t make you a grown up or a man, we do what we have to and repeating the same thing over and over, does that count as practice or downright insanity. Call it what you will with my life or my survival, the fact remains at least I’m still here right?

So what I have learned today, is that in a way I want it that way, with a few tweaks so, What A Wonderful Rut.


The Calamity of a Miracle

We can be heroes… or villains when it comes to love; I know the things love can do to you, and sometimes it’s just no good. Love can also be a miracle, our own way of saving the world but why does the world need saving, The Calamity of a Miracle

See Me Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UO29JtEPlM

And I wondered where the heroes were
Maybe love was beyond them
You whisper, love me again
You’re not just another girl

But my atom bomb baby
That one moment of truth
A hot as hell hurricane, and world war too
My love, you’re a calamity
Just… you rock my world
Almost like something biblical
Only you are an original

So let the people look and wonder
What a God they must live under

Asking “who is she”
Or why you would love me like you do
Three little words “I love you”
You’re gonna be the one that saves me?
Perhaps just a beautiful sin
Love is but a one word syllable
For an everyday miracle

Copyright © 2015 Second Circle Creations, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Inspired By: Yuna… Final Fantasy X [X-2], John Newman “Love Me Again”, Pete Yorn “Just Another”, Five Stars “Atom Bomb Baby” (1957) Cold War Classics (Atomic Platters), Sia “My Love”, Michael Jackson “You Rock My World”, Ellie Goulding “Love Me Like You Do” Fifty Shades of Grey Soundtrack, and Ryan Adams “Wonderwall” (Oasis)