Tag: Dæmon

Legacy 086 -V, Will, B, Entertained-

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Long walks on the beach… I haven’t been to the beach since I was a child. So what’s fun? Sleep. I have a PS4 I never play. Music, movies, manuscripts. My girl has massive mammaries. And what about the mutt? You mean my son? “V, Will, B, Entertained.”

Friday, September 25, 2026

Legacy 086 -V, Will, B, Entertained-

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Later. Always later. Sprawled out on the loveseat, two-in-the-morning type of later. Because reading a clock…

How I hate math. It doesn’t read that Braxton had only fifteen years. Sixteen if…

Seriously, it doesn’t tell me that I’m failing 2-V. His birthday is on the 20th next month. V will be turning six. When’s the last time he saw a Doc, got all the dirt off, or had a Dad who paid attention to him? I’m not a monster, Sophia. A cyclops? Considering my eye, ha!

Or the fact I can’t keep my hand off my one-eyed monster when I’m reading everything his potential future stepmom says. A psycho? Sophia, I love all the little creatures.

My boys Braxton and Virgil, of course. But if I see one more ant… And what? I want to order more food. A Bloom, please!

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

First, I made a promise to Braxton: that while I may hate E-Day, Emergence Day, there was no greater honor than being his father. B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters, and so for fifteen years my life mattered. And I failed him. I am failing his brother. But I celebrate? The nerve

Not really. But I owe my boys a dinner. Didn’t I mention I hate math? But if my calculations are correct… Dubious maybe. I can afford an Emergence Day dinner.

Twenty-four days after the fact. And what is Twenty-four reversed? Forty-two. I hate being forty-two. Hell, the fact of the matter is I hated day one. Hence eff Emergence Day!

And the day after. I’ll go to a movie. Remember meeting B’s Favorite Girl? Memories.

Which Emergence Day was that? I can’t recall. But that day I felt up Special K as we watched “Twilight: Eclipse.” And then I actually left the house to go see “Nerve” and meet Braxton’s Favorite Girl. Or she would be about six months later. Braxton found her quite entertaining as he barked his head off. Sophia, speaking about entertainment…

More books! Have I left any money for books? And I missed another Kindle Double Points Day. How many books are in the “Pledged To Him” series? “Ryan and His Beauties” came out with a third. And, hell, Lady Sophia, I’m still reading Dystopian Girls 6? Or flipping pages to keep the streak because The Unfinished Archive is SO captivating.

Entertained? V, Will, B, Entertained

“When we stop trying to create happiness, happiness comes by itself. It is a common mistake to believe we have to work hard for happiness, or that happiness is conditioned by what we have, and who we are in society. Happiness is the experience of mind when there is no presence of fear. That’s all. It’s simple.”
― Michael Kewley

2063 Days Without B III, Day 1504 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 085 -Braxton, Virgil, I’m Balling-

WillLeave a comment

“I never bawled!” A Christmas Story. It’s two weeks and change past “E-Day,” and it’s already “Christmas Time In Hell,” or the Bad Place, as my boys bark. But I’m not crying about it, playing around, and “I Won’t Dance.” Braxton, Virgil, I’m Balling.

Thursday, September 24, 2026

Legacy 085 -Braxton, Virgil, I’m Balling-

2062 Days Without B III, Day 1503 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good Day? Mine? “Fighting and trouble are my middle name.” Yours, “Barks”; your brother’s “Vivi”.

“Duh”! I want to avoid talking about today. I don’t want to talk about next week either, B. Damned if I do work and damned if I don’t. Why can’t this be work? Braxton side-eye

I haven’t bawled over you and Virgil much this week. And maybe I should… Keep my eyes nice and lubricated. Not a day has gone by that I haven’t worried about going blind since all the bugs, the bug spray, and any other bullshit getting in my eyes. Even now…

Alice Braga and Mark Ruffalo in “The Blindness”. Seriously? I’d say I should send you to time-out, but I did that permanently five years ago. There I go crying again. “Stop Crying Your Heart Out,” right? Or “Eat More Chicken.”

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

It beats the alternative, though. “’Cause we men, ain’t we?” “Glory” be! We are but men, Braxton. You, Virgil, and I. You licking your downstairs. Me and your potential future stepmom, and Virgil is looking for something of his own. Like father, like son, balless.

Metaphorically speaking, of course. Your brother and I are both cowards. But then I go talking to M Anime, and I’m all “Balls Deep In Love.” I know B III, I really do. Ahem, ew.

But I did promise to find you a mom someday… Stepmom. Speaking of promises, B…

We’re still in Emergence Day month, and with my last paycheck… Uh oh! I was thinking I could get that Emergence Day dinner I couldn’t afford on the day. Work?

The Bad Place. This week and last have not been a ball. And this coming week, I go back to being broke. I even wasted twenty bucks at the food truck today. Shared with Virgil…

And as far as broke, that’s what I was doing at the Bad Place today. I had to break a pallet that was stuck on the pallet jack this morning. In front of so many babes… Uh, boobs/yabbos… Not quite… Busybodies? B, for all intents and purposes, it was humiliation galore. I felt like bawling. And I don’t mean playing b-ball- the real ick, B.

Bawling my eyes out, drooling over M Anime’s big beautiful yabbos, even balling as in playing Whiteout Survival. Life’s no ball. Braxton, Virgil, I’m Balling

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 084 -Damage Report, Levels B-V-

WillLeave a comment

Wednesday, September 23, 2026

Legacy 084 -Damage Report, Levels B-V-

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… I woke up twice. I’m here. “I never yielded! And as you can see, I am not dead.”

“No. It’s foolish to ask for luxuries in times like these.”
― The Road (2009)

Wishful thinking at its finest, my dear Inspector. But shall we begin with the evaluation?

Physically, my heart hurts. That’s a fucked up thing for me to say, considering my Ma and my boys’ potential future stepmom. Talk about heart problems. But I swear, I feel it. My heart is broken. And the physical exertion, the stress, every beat is lesser than the overall remembrance that Braxton is gone and I’m failing Virgil, Inspector, always.

Honestly, my left eye is still irritated… hurts now and again. For a few minutes I felt I was going blind during the truck unload—terrifying prospect, The Blindness, Inspector.

I nearly got crushed by a pile of boxes… Dammit, can’t the Grim Reaper do anything right these days, Inspector?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

This leads me to the mental. Braxton knows I could go into talking to him, my dead furry son. I talked to his brother too. Virgil is back in my good graces… No shit, Sherlock.

Literally. I’m talking to you—the fictional hot police detective. You’re based on “Carla Valenti” from Indigo Prophecy/Fahrenheit if you’re curious. Oh, and The Unfinished Archive… Delusion, Fiction, hell, a bit fucked up. It all makes my head hurt. Ouch!

And the first thing I did when I got back. Well, since I can’t take my head off. Uh, what?

Yeah, I have something in the drawer, but instead I slept. Passed out? Quite accurate.

Inspector, as the song asks, “Where Is My Mind?” Guess is as good as mine.

Why? I remember. I “Woke Up This Morning” and got myself a… Nope! A “Bloom.”

Inspector, I needed something so I could at least text M Anime coherently. I was almost late for the Day Job: exhaustion, Heat, and a Stomachache. I forgot a Gatorade; M Anime and her electrolytes. I didn’t take Virgil out. I failed my son, but he didn’t poop or worse… Of course my playlist is always hit or miss at the Day Job. Today’s offender was The Cure’s Love Song. First, I was looking for 311’s version. Secondly women… Scary.

Lastly, the most embarrassing moment. The pallet jack got stuck in a tiny pallet, and who took the blame? Everything I touch gets damaged. M Anime? Damage Report, Levels B-V

2061 Days Without B III, Day 1502 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 083 -LANGUAGE “B”ecause There’s Virgil-

WillLeave a comment

Someone not so wise once said, “These b*tches ain’t loyal.” Uh, I said not so wise, not that it wasn’t true. I’m fortunate to have loyalty. My boys, my woman, uh… But I don’t say, like, love and loyalty, right. LANGUAGE “B”ecause There’s Virgil

Tuesday, September 22, 2026

Legacy 083 -LANGUAGE “B”ecause There’s Virgil-

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? So why don’t I say it then? It sounds better in Spanish… And I’m learning.

Hell! Have I known you longer than my firstborn son? Triond? That might be older than Braxton. Back when I thought writing would save me… Would save us, not knowing.

Love, if I had a penny for everything I don’t know. Because “Hey Jealousy,” the first time I found love- I mean real- I will watch cities burn for you; I will bathe in blood for you; I will initiate genocides for you; take a bullet for you; you don’t even have to ask; make John Wick look like a freaking priest type of love was for Braxton Barks Bradford.

Darling, “He’s My Son,” period. There is nothing else. And I haven’t said “I love you,” Virgil, to his brother since Saturday, August 13, 2022.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

But ‘All The Above,’ as it was with his brother. Why? Virgil Vivi Bradford. Honestly…

“He’s My Son.” I may be a shitty father. Really… Virgil took a ‘dump’ in the hallway today, and I have him on punishment. Anyway, I care for him. I keep saying, He’s My Son.

And you are my wife, my lover, my woman, my girl, “My Goddess,” the mother of our crumb snatchers. Make no mistake, we made those, as I say with Braxton. I didn’t pour the Bisquick, but he was/is my Pancake. In this case, we often talk about me pouring the Bisquick and you making us a whole flippin’ stack of pancakes. I “Don’t Mind” Love.

You know I love them all, Always and Forever, Love.

And as I said at the beginning, you know I love you, right? Again, there’s Virgil, and there is also my craft. But how do I choose to show that love? I still hate myself…

Seriously, all forty-two years. I even miss all my Ben-Hur slavery humor, you know, 41

“We keep you alive to serve this ship. Row well and live”
From 1959’s Ben-Hur

A bad word? Slavery? I ain’t fucking MAGA. And it’s weird, you know. If I’m ‘lazy’ loving myself, I’m even lazier when it comes to hate. Everything is fucking exhausting.

Fun sometimes. Like the names I call you in the ‘throes of passion’. Cumslut? Damn!

Only, I can’t say… I can’t show. For example, there’s a… pornographic movie, Braxton’s Favorite Girl, and I watched. Well, she knows my love language? Loyalty. LANGUAGE “B”ecause There’s Virgil

2060 Days Without B III, Day 1501 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 082 -Plan-V in Ten, Braxton-

WillLeave a comment

Plans for tomorrow? Hell plans for tonight. If I’m in bed before midnight, I’ll take the W. And that’s after dinner. Speaking of which. What about dinner tomorrow and the day after? Making V less afraid? Loving M Anime? B III? Plan-V in Ten, Braxton.

Monday, September 21, 2026

Legacy 082 -Plan-V in Ten, Braxton-

Hey Dad,
It’s me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? Good Day? Schrödinger’s Cat. You know how I feel about that, my father.

“Thou shalt have no other gods before me.” Uh, my little brother. And you refer to Virgil, and I’s future potential stepmom, as your “Goddess”. Not to be confused with “The Goddess” Alexa Bliss. But these days you prefer Roxanne Perez more. You and Latinas.

Like Miss M Anime didn’t “influence” you. Seriously, Dad, like father and like son. Ok.

Schrödinger’s Cat. You don’t know if your day is good or bad until you open your eyes and see. And then you treat the day like a box. Today is worse than yesterday, and tomorrow will be worse than today. You just don’t know, and then at the same time…

Daddy, you always know. In ten minutes you say that the day will get worse.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

But that’s ok. As the world will end in five minutes. What am I to say to that, my father?

If anyone should know anything about boxes, it’s me. That’s a low blow, right, Dad?

Honestly, the last time you opened that box, my box was on Wednesday, February 10, 2021. Plan B. Plan me. So M Anime shouldn’t be worried; you still plan on giving her a ton of babies. Name one of those two-leggeds after me, ok? But the keyword there is plan.

Plan, project, prophesy, plot, produce, put something on paper that doesn’t involve making Virgil and I siblings. Whatever keeps you alive and makes you money.

Seriously, Dad, I’m no businessman, contrary to that “Def Jam: Fight for NY” phase, right?

Soon after, the makings of The Unfinished Archive began. And that’s the thing, my father.

If you want to “finish (it)”, awesome, attaboy, always and forever cheering you on, Dad.

But it’s the idea of you not finishing life but placing yourself in a place to live it. Do you remember that quote from Sunday, the one from The Count of Monte Cristo? Legacy 081 B Sells Zzz’s, Virgil. When you plan, it’s as if you have to survive Purge Night, living a bit on Baker Street, hmm, or a day in your own Archive. And that shows everything, Dad.

You’re not on Plan V. Virgil’s life, like yours, at forty-two, forty-two, and forty-two begins

Now! Like Father, like Son, ALIVE. Plan-V in Ten, Braxton

“It is a common mistake to believe we have to work hard for happiness, or that happiness is conditioned by what we have, and who we are in society. Happiness is the experience of mind when there is no presence of fear. That’s all. It’s simple.”
Michael Kewley

“I have given them an empire that will know no end.”
―

2059 Days Without B III, Day 1500 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Legacy 081 -B Sells Zzz’s, Virgil-

WillLeave a comment

Wake up! Too bad I don’t have Laurence Fishburne, aka Vaughn “Dap” Dunlap, call to action as a ringtone. Would it help? I could hear B III’s paw steps from anywhere. V’s cries. And if I see M Anime’s yabbos. I’m Wide Awake. But B Sells Zzz’s, Virgil.

Sunday, September 20, 2026

Legacy 081 -B Sells Zzz’s, Virgil-

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Can you even see me? Bug Spray? Building a business? An empire? You’d go back to bed…

And that says it all, doesn’t it? If there was a button that you could press and you’d never need to leave your bed again, would you press it? Moment, minute, second. Just say now.

And what’s scary is that there is a way to do just that. But first and always there’s B III.

Like you said. B Sells Zzz’s, not Mmm, Ahh, “Brains,” or whatever it is zombies say these days. Your way of saying you’re not joining the ranks of the dead. But you can dream, ha

And you can sing, Look at me, look at me. Just called to say that it’s good to be Alive…”

“Look at me, look at me
Just called to say that it’s good to be
Alive in such a small world
I’m all curled up with a book to read”

I’m sure Virgil is happy to hear that. Are you happy failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Caught in the Act – a SHORT erotic babysitter story
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 004 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

You know what’s heartbreaking about this list? Nothing on it inspired me to do anything.

And you? So what’s not on the list? Your boys’ lives. Your livelihood? M Anime?

Honestly, you have a beautiful woman who loves you, and as Jacopo told Edmond Dantes:

“You have a fortune. A beautiful woman who loves you. Take the money, take the woman, and live your life. Stop this plan. Take what you have won”
― Jacopo

Well, not the fortune part, but you have potential. Fucking hate that word. But anyway.

For her… There was a time you would have given that fortune that you don’t have to see her naked. All it took was time. And isn’t that it? Time, you waste it fucking always.

Seriously, you would be thinking about “Someone To Say?” Oh no, you’re not Cyrano, but:

“I’d give anything for someone to say that they can’t live without me and they’ll be there forever”
Cyrano (2021)

Now that you have her, the girl of your dreams, there are Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 004 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

And you continue dreaming about Thirteen Women (And Only One Man In Town). You dream your life away. And I tried. Braxton knows I tried to prepare for you. What?

Staying awake. For what? For you? And who are you? That changes whether you fall asleep with your tablet in your hand. Please don’t “bean” Virgil. You pass out sleeping on the loveseat. You’re in a freaking coma with your pants around your ankles. Yabbos… Staring at yabbos, especially M Anime’s. And when was the last time you went to bed on time? I guess we’ll have to see. “The future is comin’ on.” Yours, Braxton’s (Memory), Virgil, M Anime, and more? When you want everything as bad as your sleep… B Sells Zzz’s, Virgil.

2058 Days Without B III, Day 1499 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Legacy 080 -Traffic’s A B, Virgil-

WillLeave a comment

“The Road.” The Long Walk. Me and my son Virgil. No lights, but plenty of spider webs, scary people, and the street wasn’t too hot for his paws. But I’ve been out there all week, this week, and SIGH, I’ll miss it the week after. Traffic’s A B, Virgil

Saturday, September 19, 2026

Legacy 080 -Traffic’s A B, Virgil-

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Trillionaire right now… So I intend never to drive again. But fuck ever riding in anything Elon Musk owns.

LANGUAGE! And aren’t I on “X”? I’d rather be on M, to be honest, as in Anime, “My Boys” Potential Future Stepmom. Do I ever stop? “I live with the BREAKS off.” But for real, Lady Lunalesca. I ain’t Wiz Khalifa or John Cena. Free to go anywhere I want.

However, it’s not free to be anywhere I want. “This Is America.” And my head is one huge playlist that’s running nonstop. And if it isn’t music, it’s mourning B and sometimes preemptively Virgil. What a monster I am. Ask M Anime’s mammaries. “Pretty Mess.”

As in (moaning) “I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum! Where am I going with this, my dear Lunalesca? Ten years with this blog, a year with The Unfinished Archive. Existing.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

And as I laid my head down last night – well, rather this morning around 1:00 AM. “The only day I hate more than today is tomorrow.” I hate the next day even more, Luna.

Of course we’ve been over this: there are exceptions… Braxton’s Death, E-Day, M Anime’s departure. And I don’t know how to make it stop, Lady Luna. In a good way…

The Grim Reaper won’t take my calls. The Sandman will answer, but that’s renting peace.

And today I have two redheads in The Unfinished Archive. Another song, “I Can’t Stop”

Flux Pavilion? Another button press, another beat of my heart, another breath, two sets of breasts/yabbos from a mother and daughter. I need to stop and think. Worry, Nervousness, Anxitey…

I’m a yellow-bellied coward, Lu—no wonder I spend so much time covering it in white. And no, I don’t mean Virgil’s fur. I know exactly where my ‘cream’ belongs if M Anime has her way. Babies. Strangely enough, I’m not scared of being a Dad. Four legs or two?

Most days my biggest fear is being Slow, Simple, or let me just say the word, STUPID. I can’t be that Dear Lu. Anything else. Then why can’t I find happiness? Am I scared, hmm

“your skin, oh yeah, your skin and bones
(Ooh) turn into something beautiful
(Ah) and you know, you know I love you so
You know I love you so”
Yellow

I’d be one of these MAGA Cracker Hats apologizing to the Man in the Mirror. It’d blow my mind. Whether I’m sitting in traffic or stroking my cock a mile a minute on the loveseat. Eww! Traffic’s A B, Virgil

2057 Days Without B III, Day 1498 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 079 -Virgil’s Scheduled To B-

Will

Read it and weep. Either I have a week like this one. And not just because of M Anime’s yabbos. Or I’m a Lazy Ass with Too Much (Clap Clap) Time on My Hands. Would it be fair if I became what B wanted? What V and M deserve? “Virgil’s Scheduled To B.”

Friday, September 18, 2026

Legacy 079 -Virgil’s Scheduled To B-

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Because I’m an author? “Yes! Yes, I lied. I’m a writer. I give the truth scope!”

For the love of everything, can I use my own words! And where does that get my dear lady Soph? Lying in bed with my jeans around my ankles on a late Friday evening, hmm

I finally got around to reading a damn alarm clock. And trying… Braxton knows I’m trying to be productive, to put things in perspective, and to place myself as… well, today, I plundered, pillaged, and pilfered what little money I had, and for what, honestly?

Sophia, after that, it was between being a good father to Virgil and a fella… A good boyfriend to M Anime. She’s a much better writer than me. Let’s just say it’s damn HARD to write when I have my hand around my cock. Eww!

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

And should we even get into all the books I’m reading, not reading, finished. Eww!

Sophia, I’ll stop that, but anyway, I checked Goodreads in a while. Seriously…

1: Pledged To Him 12-14
2: Harem Lab Parts 1-3
3: Emergency Skin
4: Harem of the Dead
5: Sleepover Harem 1-3

Just in case you ever wondered where all my ideas and love of harems come from. Or am I just being lazy? I could admit I failed because I told B III where my writing would get me. I told M Anime the story inspired by her that I still haven’t finished the last page.

And that’s making Virgil late too. Because if I didn’t have all this worry… All of this fear… Um, happiness?

“When we stop trying to create happiness, happiness comes by itself. It is a common mistake to believe we have to work hard for happiness, or that happiness is conditioned by what we have, and who we are in society. Happiness is the experience of mind when there is no presence of fear. That’s all. It’s simple.”
― Michael Kewley

I swear this quote isn’t going anywhere for a while because it does encapsulate why I ain’t ever happy. And I never will be. Even when I’m writing my own schedule. Yeah, I read more bad news from the latest Day Job schedule. And before that, it was reading people’s eyes at the Day Job and everywhere in between. And as Matchbox 20 will sing:

“I Feel Stupid”
Matchbox Twenty

One more reason the Archive remains unfinished. Because there is always time to change, Sophia, but I need it scheduled. I keep trying to put a timetable on it. Again, the Magic Glasses/MIMA created a schedule for a whole harem. But me becoming fearless. Happy

Or on Virgil being a good boy. Read all about it. Virgil’s Scheduled To B

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 078 -Horrors B And V-

WillLeave a comment

It’s not even Halloween yet. E-Day has been over. The most horrific day ever was back in January. But today I’m in line, crying over my boy, money slipping away, worried about every blip in my vision, etc. The Horror, the horror! Horrors B And V

Thursday, September 17, 2026

Legacy 078 -Horrors B And V-

2055 Days Without B III, Day 1496 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good Day? Mine? I can’t get that Michael Kewley quote out of my mind, B.

“When we stop trying to create happiness, happiness comes by itself. It is a common mistake to believe we have to work hard for happiness, or that happiness is conditioned by what we have, and who we are in society. Happiness is the experience of mind when there is no presence of fear. That’s all. It’s simple.”
― Michael Kewley

Here in my car, I feel safest of all… Ok, No. Your Dad is a liar, but I’m one for an earworm. Um, sounds terrible, doesn’t it? Somewhat like, “slept like a rock.” Headstone? Graveyard.

But I’m not scared of dying, Braxton. Is it that I will ALWAYS be in mourning over you, or is it all the freaking spooky season crap at the Day Job? Two things being true…

Honestly… Today, while I worked in fear within the Bad Place, as you and your brother think of it. As I sat in terror in the car. As I woke in horror of having to come and talk to you…

I love you, B and 2-V… But allow me to rip off Alice in Wonderland.

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

Six Things That Scare Me:

1: Forgetting You, Failing Virgil. It just popped in my head today. Greatest love I’ve ever known, you and 2-V

2: Losing Your Potential Stepmom. I cried over you. And she hates me comparing. You and her are my heart.

3: My Eyes, My Eyes. I ‘thought’ I got bug spray in my eyes after recent events. I’m not blind

4: The Black Ant Incursion. Carpenter Ants destroyed the backyard shed last year. Now little ants on the kitchen floor.

5: Leaving The Bad Place. We hate it, Little B. But I got called into the office yesterday… Moving shelves

6: I Need Money, B. You’d be proud, Braxton. I shared fries with your brother. But $250 a week! Fuck!

And I should watch my language, I know. Such a small word, but with such a big impact. B III. And with all these words, what? Am I building a life? You don’t need happiness.

But that’s what I was thinking about… “No presence of fear.” When I was a Senior in high school, after the homecoming pep rally for about five minutes. Whenever I would wake up and see you sitting at the foot of the bed. To my fears. You shall not pass!

Seriously, you don’t want to know this one, B. But when me and your stepmom make you and Virgil some siblings. Man is a small word. I Love You is a small phrase. Why not FEAR? Horrors B And V

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 077 -A Sinner’s B+ Virgil-

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I didn’t need to read some book to so that I may see all of my sins. I don’t need all of my F report cards or my bank saying I made $250 (cough) okay a little less. And my two greatest blessings and sins have sat right beside me. A Sinner’s B+ Virgil

Wednesday, September 16, 2026

Legacy 077 -A Sinner’s B+ Virgil-

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… And what would I grade my so-called sins? Somewhere between the future’s so bright, I gotta wear shades?

I can’t decide between Heaven’s Light and Hellfire. Decide, me? A few things Dear Echo.

First I stole this from “The Hunchback of Notre Dame”. What’s one more sin hmm, considering I’m also stealing the whole “Six Impossible Things” concept from “Alice In Wonderland,” today. Second… And what should actually be first, we’ve already established I’m going straight to Hell for what happened to B. Do I mean killing him?

And what about Virgil? Has he seen a veterinarian? As much as I love my boys together, let it be in The Land of Make Believe, The Unfinished Archive. And not on The Rainbow Bridge anytime soon. Or wherever it is my Braxton went. Do I know? Can I see? My Six Sins this week:

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

1: Braxton Is Still Dead. This is what I count as my original sin. Even worse than being born. I took my furry son’s life. Was is INDIFFERENCE or RAGE?

2: I Am Failing Virgil. He’s been here since Saturday, August 13, 2021, his Gotcha Day. This is the first year I have failed to get him to a vet.

3: I’ve ignored M Anime. Not intentionally. And she’ll be upset with me saying this but like the week Braxton died. I’ve been working, writing, and generally wasting my existence.

4: Ants took the kitchen. My eyes to the floor.

5: I’m didn’t go blind… But bug sprayed eyes worries

6: Feeling super, super, super… “Teen Idle” for the rest

And it’s only “Hump Day”

Other than one through three, would you consider any of these worth a free ticket to the Hell I’m feeling? Are any of them worth a B+? I was saying sonly yesterday in Legacy 076 -There B Elephants Virgil-. The proverbial elephant in the room. My boys, my woman, and my craft, my greatest joys are also my greatest fears. And yet today me Echo.

I got called into the office at the Day Job. Boss Lady only wanted me to move a few shelves

I zoned out sitting up just to try and talk to you. I could have done, I don’t know, what. Today was pay day and I planned on going out with what? $250 a week? Please! A Sinner’s B+ Virgil

2054 Days Without B III, Day 1495 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will