Tag: Braxton

Legacy 095 -B+ Weakness For Virgil-

WillLeave a comment

I am not weak. I lost my Kindle reading streak, and I was all about getting it back. I’ll go and lift for hours at the Day Job to be broke. But when it comes to being a literary dynamo, loving a good woman, and “Life Itself…” “B+ Weakness For Virgil”

Sunday, October 4, 2026

Legacy 095 -B+ Weakness For Virgil-

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And honestly, you don’t know how you’ll make it through the week. You’re weak already. You’re lying.

Headache, Hearing Loss (Virgil’s Crying), Her Humps (M Anime’s ass, more importantly YABBOS), Hating the Day Job, Hurts after the headache, How to make an all-natural ant killer, the list goes on… “And the Beat Goes On.” And what’s with all the H bombs, hmm

Preparation H because all these things “Ready Or Not” are on your ass. Your face?

Honestly tis the season for masks. But if you’re writing means anything… Newsflash: it doesn’t. But The Unfinished Archive and all. “Who Are You”? The Sorcerer Will, or so you wish. Um, Insect Man “Kick Ass 2” has more credibility. What is one more weakness?

Weaknesses? Hell! Since we’re already ripping off music and movies, there’s an epidemic of laziness and less Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Copilot by Luke Witten
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 004 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

“The Long Walk”? You’d say, feeling the need to steal is quite a weakness. Movies, Music, Manuscripts, etc. Because your own words are never enough. And you could also bring up the “Great Fear.” You know the one using the Magic Glasses/MIMA. The one that had me looking out the window when I hear sirens. And now you have a whole week of waiting at the Day Job. Tomorrow is going to be a hard day. Again, the fucking week.

Seriously, if this were the First Circle of Hell in the Succubus Lord series, this would be one of those annoyances or inconveniences. You can ‘get it up’ for everything that doesn’t matter. Your vices, weaknesses, all the X-Rated crap. Ignoring yabbos? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

But the big weaknesses. FEAR, STUPIDITY, SLOTH, ANGER, LUST, in no particular order. And TIME? Wouldn’t that go with SLOTH? TIME will be a bigger factor this week on top of your exhaustion. You’re too tired of having no time. How do you fix that?

Really… That time came and went a long time ago. It was you sitting in classrooms figuring out a thousand ways to fail. It was you listening to all those motivations as you came and went from the library, and you sat in a McDonald’s drive-thru. It was sitting on the backyard porch with Braxton before ants destroyed it. Getting naked in the kitchen, thinking about M Anime, then… Ants. You’re not weak. You waste weeks. B+ Weakness For Virgil

2072 Days Without B III, Day 1513 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Legacy 093 -Braxton Books Trucks Virgil-

WillLeave a comment

“Now, I ain’t no sharecropper. I’m a music teacher.” This ain’t Rosewood; I’ll try again. I ain’t no truck unloader; I’m a writer. Well, I ain’t much of either, with my bosses this afternoon and Braxton’s book sales. “But Braxton Books Trucks Virgil”

Friday, October 2, 2026

Legacy 093 -Braxton Books Trucks Virgil-

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… But not Stephen King’s The Stand. “I will set you to burn.” Fuck, I’m Hot! Umm

Not in a good way, My Lady. More like Humiliations Galore, I Hate Everyone, burning through all ‘my’ cash, sorta hot. Fuck, the weather! I still shouldn’t have gone out.

Honestly, if my books weren’t the only thing that deserved to be burned, maybe I wouldn’t have to. Isn’t it “Ironic” that the only book I have out ended with my son being on fire? And myself? I’m going to Hell. But I’m doomed to the Ninth Circle. But today…

Sometimes I think that part of my punishment is to take a guided tour through Hell? And with Virgil… My poor second-born. I want to tell him, “I Knew You Were Waiting.” But I knew

I brought both of my furry children to ruin. Like I’m fucking Randall Flagg. But no, Sophia. No nuclear warheads, no Captain Trips, and while I spend money like I was in Vegas… Yeah, I’m a fucking idiot! Can I watch my fucking language? Seriously?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Everything that happened today… Women (SIGH). And before I sound like some Incel or Simp… Whatever words the kids are using these days. The gas station, ok. I know Soph

That was my cowardice. I don’t blame the woman behind the counter for banking issues.

And M Anime had quite the day from what I heard. I am exhausted. Anger, Humiliation, genuine Stupidity. It’s all the same fire, and I have nothing left for Braxton and Virgil’s Potential Future Stepmom. And this is after she offers me everything. The Hell?

No, that’s where all my bosses can go—and speaking of Hell or jail? That’s the silver lining here, Sophia. I was too busy thinking about the day job to think about the steel bars of late. With “All These Things That I’ve Done.” Somewhat illegal, sinful, shameful, stupid, and I’m scared. And do I care to “Share?” I could watch that movie tonight because tomorrow I have to get to the movie theater. Free E-Day Popcorn and Soda. It’s fucking October. E-Day month’s over.

Geez! Will I stop? Something I should have told myself when unloading the truck today. Better to be driving the damn trucks chasing some “Lot Lizard” than working with the women at my Day Job. Read a book. Or write one. Braxton Books Trucks Virgil.

2070 Days Without B III, Day 1511 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 092 -B’s For Breathing, Virgil-

WillLeave a comment

Out of sight, out of mind. But in sleep, I’m still breathing. As I slept, an angel watched over me—my B. Now, as I shut my eyes tightly, I imagine his beautiful stepmom, my girlfriend. But I’m awake; I breathe; I’m scared. “B’s For Breathing, Virgil”

Thursday, October 1, 2026

Legacy 092 -B’s For Breathing, Virgil-

2069 Days Without B III, Day 1510 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? Your brother is alive. M Anime wants to have my babies. No banging…

I mean, on the door, of course, B III. Not the cops/FBI, not my Old Man, or anyone I owe.

Yet… I smile? No B. “I feel STUPID.” Your Dad is a “Savage,” ask M Anime. Eww! You don’t need to know that. But for the most part, your Daddy is scared. Fuck! What now?

“The horror! The horror!”
Kurtz

Language! I know, Baby B. I wouldn’t want to scare Virgil. Hell, we’re both terrified.

Braxton, why must your Dad live in this constant state of FEAR? No germ, contagion, disease, virus, or plague is as inane, insidious, infectious, and insane as FEAR. Uh, HATRED and STUPIDITY would like to bark in here. But today B III there is FEAR.

Braxton, I need one of those waking up seeing you…

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

Breaths… That’s what I didn’t tell your Potential Future Stepmom this morning. I damn well might have been happy every afternoon after the Bad Place. I would nap, and then when I woke up, There You’ll Be. Talk about without the presence of FEAR, Braxton.

Your Potential Future Stepmom has that power too. Again, I was talking to her this morning, and when I lose the ability to think, ONLY breathe, I’m uttering every OBSCENITY, and the words “Oh yeah” seem boring, but everything is OKAY. And why is that? Because M Anime has a perfect set of yabbos but was marveling at Angie Griffin’s

And isn’t that why I’m in trouble? Not with her…

I was “Barely Breathing” when M Anime and I were apart. But she’s been nearly this whole year. And speaking of this whole year, now I’m scared again. Stalking FEAR…

That I do Braxton, every day I need to find something else to scare me. And here I was thinking that once I escaped Emergence month. What? Would October be less terrifying, hmm? Yesterday B was for bugs, bug spray, broken house things (toilet), and buying cleaning supplies, with what, a couple of hundred bucks. Banging, Breaking, boys in blue

I hope not, because who would see to your brother? I beg, I give my blessing, I believe your brother won’t be afraid someday. I can’t tell myself that because I know the man, the boy I am. Braxton, M Anime… B’s For Breathing, Virgil

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 091 -Braxton Outside, Virgil Inside-

WillLeave a comment

Years ago, when the shed wasn’t under siege, when the backyard fence wasn’t broken, when I wasn’t scanning the kitchen counter or floors, etc. B was on his pillow while I wrote. Let me out, let me in. Now I’m trapped. “Braxton Outside, Virgil Inside”

Wednesday, September 30, 2026

Legacy 091 -Braxton Outside, Virgil Inside-

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… What, by living? Don’t get me wrong, forty-two years is way too much for my liking. Buying books?

One of the many ways I fucked up yesterday. And there were indeed several, Inspector.

Enough to make me want to lose “My Boys.” When we get into it, you’ll see how STUPID I’ve been. But Inside/Outside is a… Let’s say it’s a silly game at least for Braxton Barks.

I swear my firstborn went everywhere. Is it ironic to call him both a free spirit and alive, Inspector? What is ironic is his brother, Virgil Vivi. He’s like a ghost. And I wish I were talking about the Good Boy from Game of Thrones. Is Virgil Ride or Die? Hell, that’s what I get for naming him after Dante’s hellish guide. He is a ghost, like a pillar of salt, a scoop of vanilla.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

It’s like he melts away into the floor or wherever I place him. Braxton and his potential future stepmom, and I talk a lot about having two-leggeds. Sometimes it’s like Virgil forgets he has four legs. Somebody at the Day Job said they’ve seen us walking. So good, I’m not imagining Virgil is here. But he’d rather not be here in this house. Myself, Echo.

I would make my absence permanent. But I’m a father of two. Not one, Inspector!

Seriously, you remember The Running Man (2025)? “Richard Lives!” Inspector, always and forever, Braxton Lives! My brave boy. I envy him. And not only the whole shuffling off the mortal coil part. I wish I were so brave as to have his fierceness. Nope Inspector.

“I don’t want to be just one thing. I can’t be. I want to be brave, and I want to be selfless, intelligent, and honest and kind.”
Four ― Divergent

Today, “I feel STUPID!” And we could go on and on in this Mad Season with all that happened at the Day Job. So fucking idiotic that I needed a second to forget. Day One…

I didn’t jerk off yesterday; too much was happening. I didn’t confide in M Anime…

Plenty of things I want inside her. Okay, I’ll stop, or rather begin. Inspector, honestly…

So yesterday ants retook the counter and the doorway. I was mixing up ant killer from the bathroom because you remember what happened last time with all the bug spray…

While fighting that battle, the guest bathroom went cattywampus. Then Amazon was taking my Kindle points, so I bought four books. Outside confidence. Inside blatant STUPIDITY. Braxton Outside, Virgil Inside

2068 Days Without B III, Day 1509 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 090 -B Plays Portal Virgil-

WillLeave a comment

What Hell is this? What time? Which dimension? But it all tracks. A loving and loyal wife. Same for the family, furry and not. And the home? Monday, Fine. Today… A reenactment of the movie Starship Troopers. I prefer Succubus 8. B Plays Portal Virgil

Tuesday, September 29, 2026

Legacy 090 -B Plays Portal Virgil-

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? But do you know what I need to reread? Pet Loss? Some love story? Kinda

The instructions to the game “Portal”? How I miss the days when games came with actual instruction booklets. I love those. And players’ guides. Game Genie. To have time again.

But no. What I’m in the mood for today is Succubus 8 (Riddles And Revenge): A LitRPG Series by A.J. Markam. “Give Me One Reason to stay here,” you say… May I suggest “Portal 2”? Seriously, what is it about me and portals today? And in the spirit of full transparency, I’ve never played either Portal. And I’m trying to remember Succubus 8 as best I can. This is what happens when you don’t use a woman for audiobooks. Sheesh!

Anyway, I finally got to bed last night, and this morning everything has gone cattywampus.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Your lover, your best friend, your husband, father to our children, I damn sure try!

Honestly though, a plumber, an exterminator, a repair guy, an award-winning author, my love… This is where it is written, “you have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting.” Yes, I am guilty of saying that every day is worse than the last. But with you, our children, fur and skin, I can survive. Only today it’s like I stepped through a portal… Maybe only by a few days to show all my effing loserdom.

You don’t know how badly I want to go back right now. How far? It has nothing to do with you, my boys, our family. Just me. My E-Day wish.

Near the end of E-Day month. I wish the day never existed. Always and forever.

Honestly… I know, my love, I know. I tend to take things too far. But that’s because I want to be even farther away. Or is it further? Did I mention that my writing sucks?

Anyway, A.J. Markam’s protagonist “Ian” had powers over the “Hell Pont”; he could use portals to travel anywhere. Why do you think I chose magic in The Unfinished Archive? Necromancy, time travel, and, portals. And why yesterday was “FINE”.

Today: Ants, busted drawer, crazy toilet, and let’s not forget about the car. Loving you?

Going to see a movie, lying in bed prattling on about the Halliwell sisters. Beats Hell. B Plays Portal Virgil.

2067 Days Without B III, Day 1508 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 088 -Pawsing Braxton And Virgil-

WillLeave a comment

I’m somewhat paws off with V. Dad has too much to do, and I can’t pause everything. But I do. Because of writing… PAIN, FEAR, and my everyday STUPIDITY. Or is it insanity? I tried to pause B’s life to become successful. Ha! Pawsing Braxton And Virgil

Sunday, September 27, 2026

Legacy 088 -Pawsing Braxton And Virgil-

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And when you pause here in the bathroom, at a mirror column at the Day Job, Virgil

Just one more reason it hurts to look at him sometimes. Yes, you’re failing him too. And it’s only been ten hours. But what you mean is, when you see your reflection in his eyes.

Could you wanna take my picture?
‘Cause I won’t remember
Take a Picture
Filter (1999)

But you do remember… PAIN. As you fuck FEAR. What would you call this relationship?

You feel FEAR like you care for M Anime or love your boys. Perpetual. Eternal. Always and Forever. Thus, HAPPINESS is an impossibility if FEAR is Eternal. Is it paused?

Honestly, does PAIN pause? You know better than to ask B and V’s potential future stepmom. It’s one reason you get along so well. Between her physical and your mental…

That isn’t to say you don’t both have issues, but seriously, your Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Teachers: A Single Dad Harem
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 004 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

But since I didn’t bother to think of these things. I offer you some other mental gymnastics vis-à-vis The Unfinished Archive. The Magic Glasses/MIMA being a PAIN means you need to think for yourself at least until you can unpause your existence. How to think?

Why Obsidian Stone? Black Volcanic Glass. A different type of “Black Mirror.” It’s stronger than Brimstone. So when you’re creating your most beautiful hellish world…

Red, Yellow, Green Moons? A stoplight. Blood moon for past blood. Pale yellow for present fear and pain. Green: Go, whether wanted or not. The Moon controls the tides always.

Archive Numbers: Sorcerer, Two Sons. Ten Harem Sisters. Ten Named Acolytes of Bible Black\Black Bible Sisterhood. Three Enemies. Two Subordinates???

Pause Reality. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

You’ve been thinking about how you can pause the bad things and live inside them.

Think Ellone from Final Fantasy VIII. Why can’t you pause the good things? When you want to pause the next bad thing from happening, you stay in bed. You sleep. Because when you’re asleep, the monsters can’t get you. It’s probably why I favored the loveseat, and you might too. Leaving means getting in bed. And while you love bed… The sooner you go to bed, the sooner you have to wake up, and there’s FEAR and PAIN. And since comedy comes in threes, STUPIDITY. Past PAIN red. Current STUPIDITY yellow. And FEAR goes green. But a good dinner, a great orgasm, and green dollars. Somehow. Pawsing Braxton And Virgil

2065 Days Without B III, Day 1506 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Legacy 086 -V, Will, B, Entertained-

WillLeave a comment

Long walks on the beach… I haven’t been to the beach since I was a child. So what’s fun? Sleep. I have a PS4 I never play. Music, movies, manuscripts. My girl has massive mammaries. And what about the mutt? You mean my son? “V, Will, B, Entertained.”

Friday, September 25, 2026

Legacy 086 -V, Will, B, Entertained-

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Later. Always later. Sprawled out on the loveseat, two-in-the-morning type of later. Because reading a clock…

How I hate math. It doesn’t read that Braxton had only fifteen years. Sixteen if…

Seriously, it doesn’t tell me that I’m failing 2-V. His birthday is on the 20th next month. V will be turning six. When’s the last time he saw a Doc, got all the dirt off, or had a Dad who paid attention to him? I’m not a monster, Sophia. A cyclops? Considering my eye, ha!

Or the fact I can’t keep my hand off my one-eyed monster when I’m reading everything his potential future stepmom says. A psycho? Sophia, I love all the little creatures.

My boys Braxton and Virgil, of course. But if I see one more ant… And what? I want to order more food. A Bloom, please!

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

First, I made a promise to Braxton: that while I may hate E-Day, Emergence Day, there was no greater honor than being his father. B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters, and so for fifteen years my life mattered. And I failed him. I am failing his brother. But I celebrate? The nerve

Not really. But I owe my boys a dinner. Didn’t I mention I hate math? But if my calculations are correct… Dubious maybe. I can afford an Emergence Day dinner.

Twenty-four days after the fact. And what is Twenty-four reversed? Forty-two. I hate being forty-two. Hell, the fact of the matter is I hated day one. Hence eff Emergence Day!

And the day after. I’ll go to a movie. Remember meeting B’s Favorite Girl? Memories.

Which Emergence Day was that? I can’t recall. But that day I felt up Special K as we watched “Twilight: Eclipse.” And then I actually left the house to go see “Nerve” and meet Braxton’s Favorite Girl. Or she would be about six months later. Braxton found her quite entertaining as he barked his head off. Sophia, speaking about entertainment…

More books! Have I left any money for books? And I missed another Kindle Double Points Day. How many books are in the “Pledged To Him” series? “Ryan and His Beauties” came out with a third. And, hell, Lady Sophia, I’m still reading Dystopian Girls 6? Or flipping pages to keep the streak because The Unfinished Archive is SO captivating.

Entertained? V, Will, B, Entertained

“When we stop trying to create happiness, happiness comes by itself. It is a common mistake to believe we have to work hard for happiness, or that happiness is conditioned by what we have, and who we are in society. Happiness is the experience of mind when there is no presence of fear. That’s all. It’s simple.”
― Michael Kewley

2063 Days Without B III, Day 1504 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 085 -Braxton, Virgil, I’m Balling-

WillLeave a comment

“I never bawled!” A Christmas Story. It’s two weeks and change past “E-Day,” and it’s already “Christmas Time In Hell,” or the Bad Place, as my boys bark. But I’m not crying about it, playing around, and “I Won’t Dance.” Braxton, Virgil, I’m Balling.

Thursday, September 24, 2026

Legacy 085 -Braxton, Virgil, I’m Balling-

2062 Days Without B III, Day 1503 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good Day? Mine? “Fighting and trouble are my middle name.” Yours, “Barks”; your brother’s “Vivi”.

“Duh”! I want to avoid talking about today. I don’t want to talk about next week either, B. Damned if I do work and damned if I don’t. Why can’t this be work? Braxton side-eye

I haven’t bawled over you and Virgil much this week. And maybe I should… Keep my eyes nice and lubricated. Not a day has gone by that I haven’t worried about going blind since all the bugs, the bug spray, and any other bullshit getting in my eyes. Even now…

Alice Braga and Mark Ruffalo in “The Blindness”. Seriously? I’d say I should send you to time-out, but I did that permanently five years ago. There I go crying again. “Stop Crying Your Heart Out,” right? Or “Eat More Chicken.”

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

It beats the alternative, though. “’Cause we men, ain’t we?” “Glory” be! We are but men, Braxton. You, Virgil, and I. You licking your downstairs. Me and your potential future stepmom, and Virgil is looking for something of his own. Like father, like son, balless.

Metaphorically speaking, of course. Your brother and I are both cowards. But then I go talking to M Anime, and I’m all “Balls Deep In Love.” I know B III, I really do. Ahem, ew.

But I did promise to find you a mom someday… Stepmom. Speaking of promises, B…

We’re still in Emergence Day month, and with my last paycheck… Uh oh! I was thinking I could get that Emergence Day dinner I couldn’t afford on the day. Work?

The Bad Place. This week and last have not been a ball. And this coming week, I go back to being broke. I even wasted twenty bucks at the food truck today. Shared with Virgil…

And as far as broke, that’s what I was doing at the Bad Place today. I had to break a pallet that was stuck on the pallet jack this morning. In front of so many babes… Uh, boobs/yabbos… Not quite… Busybodies? B, for all intents and purposes, it was humiliation galore. I felt like bawling. And I don’t mean playing b-ball- the real ick, B.

Bawling my eyes out, drooling over M Anime’s big beautiful yabbos, even balling as in playing Whiteout Survival. Life’s no ball. Braxton, Virgil, I’m Balling

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 084 -Damage Report, Levels B-V-

WillLeave a comment

Wednesday, September 23, 2026

Legacy 084 -Damage Report, Levels B-V-

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… I woke up twice. I’m here. “I never yielded! And as you can see, I am not dead.”

“No. It’s foolish to ask for luxuries in times like these.”
― The Road (2009)

Wishful thinking at its finest, my dear Inspector. But shall we begin with the evaluation?

Physically, my heart hurts. That’s a fucked up thing for me to say, considering my Ma and my boys’ potential future stepmom. Talk about heart problems. But I swear, I feel it. My heart is broken. And the physical exertion, the stress, every beat is lesser than the overall remembrance that Braxton is gone and I’m failing Virgil, Inspector, always.

Honestly, my left eye is still irritated… hurts now and again. For a few minutes I felt I was going blind during the truck unload—terrifying prospect, The Blindness, Inspector.

I nearly got crushed by a pile of boxes… Dammit, can’t the Grim Reaper do anything right these days, Inspector?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

This leads me to the mental. Braxton knows I could go into talking to him, my dead furry son. I talked to his brother too. Virgil is back in my good graces… No shit, Sherlock.

Literally. I’m talking to you—the fictional hot police detective. You’re based on “Carla Valenti” from Indigo Prophecy/Fahrenheit if you’re curious. Oh, and The Unfinished Archive… Delusion, Fiction, hell, a bit fucked up. It all makes my head hurt. Ouch!

And the first thing I did when I got back. Well, since I can’t take my head off. Uh, what?

Yeah, I have something in the drawer, but instead I slept. Passed out? Quite accurate.

Inspector, as the song asks, “Where Is My Mind?” Guess is as good as mine.

Why? I remember. I “Woke Up This Morning” and got myself a… Nope! A “Bloom.”

Inspector, I needed something so I could at least text M Anime coherently. I was almost late for the Day Job: exhaustion, Heat, and a Stomachache. I forgot a Gatorade; M Anime and her electrolytes. I didn’t take Virgil out. I failed my son, but he didn’t poop or worse… Of course my playlist is always hit or miss at the Day Job. Today’s offender was The Cure’s Love Song. First, I was looking for 311’s version. Secondly women… Scary.

Lastly, the most embarrassing moment. The pallet jack got stuck in a tiny pallet, and who took the blame? Everything I touch gets damaged. M Anime? Damage Report, Levels B-V

2061 Days Without B III, Day 1502 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 083 -LANGUAGE “B”ecause There’s Virgil-

WillLeave a comment

Someone not so wise once said, “These b*tches ain’t loyal.” Uh, I said not so wise, not that it wasn’t true. I’m fortunate to have loyalty. My boys, my woman, uh… But I don’t say, like, love and loyalty, right. LANGUAGE “B”ecause There’s Virgil

Tuesday, September 22, 2026

Legacy 083 -LANGUAGE “B”ecause There’s Virgil-

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? So why don’t I say it then? It sounds better in Spanish… And I’m learning.

Hell! Have I known you longer than my firstborn son? Triond? That might be older than Braxton. Back when I thought writing would save me… Would save us, not knowing.

Love, if I had a penny for everything I don’t know. Because “Hey Jealousy,” the first time I found love- I mean real- I will watch cities burn for you; I will bathe in blood for you; I will initiate genocides for you; take a bullet for you; you don’t even have to ask; make John Wick look like a freaking priest type of love was for Braxton Barks Bradford.

Darling, “He’s My Son,” period. There is nothing else. And I haven’t said “I love you,” Virgil, to his brother since Saturday, August 13, 2022.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

But ‘All The Above,’ as it was with his brother. Why? Virgil Vivi Bradford. Honestly…

“He’s My Son.” I may be a shitty father. Really… Virgil took a ‘dump’ in the hallway today, and I have him on punishment. Anyway, I care for him. I keep saying, He’s My Son.

And you are my wife, my lover, my woman, my girl, “My Goddess,” the mother of our crumb snatchers. Make no mistake, we made those, as I say with Braxton. I didn’t pour the Bisquick, but he was/is my Pancake. In this case, we often talk about me pouring the Bisquick and you making us a whole flippin’ stack of pancakes. I “Don’t Mind” Love.

You know I love them all, Always and Forever, Love.

And as I said at the beginning, you know I love you, right? Again, there’s Virgil, and there is also my craft. But how do I choose to show that love? I still hate myself…

Seriously, all forty-two years. I even miss all my Ben-Hur slavery humor, you know, 41

“We keep you alive to serve this ship. Row well and live”
From 1959’s Ben-Hur

A bad word? Slavery? I ain’t fucking MAGA. And it’s weird, you know. If I’m ‘lazy’ loving myself, I’m even lazier when it comes to hate. Everything is fucking exhausting.

Fun sometimes. Like the names I call you in the ‘throes of passion’. Cumslut? Damn!

Only, I can’t say… I can’t show. For example, there’s a… pornographic movie, Braxton’s Favorite Girl, and I watched. Well, she knows my love language? Loyalty. LANGUAGE “B”ecause There’s Virgil

2060 Days Without B III, Day 1501 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will