Log 187 ~Maybe This Will Cure~

I’m not sick; I have some friends who are suffering through everything but I remain healthy and active but my life is something else to be sure and it doesn’t need a cure but here we are. “Maybe This Will Cure”

Saturday, January 4, 2020

Log 187 ~Maybe This Will Cure~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I’m awake right now. Don’t get me wrong I’m not discounting the whole 1:30 AM waking dynamic but not tomorrow. Even with a half-day, I slept most of it away, and guess what woke me up? Isn’t it always a woman? I spent most of the day talking to M Anime. For a woman, the things that men are capable of doing Lady Luna? I still remember that quote from 500 Days Of Summer, which rings as the gospel truth.

“Well, you know, Henry Miller said the best way to get over a woman is to turn her into literature.”

Like any medication, there are side effects, but I won’t go into those. Positivity is the order of the day, so how have I done this week. Well again I am the time traveler, I wrote about Friday this morning and Saturday tonight. The point is words Lady Lu like that movie Play’d “these words they have power,” I stood up to Loss Prevention Tuesday. A term that I find myself repeating is “breathe.” More than anything, I need air. Again I told M Anime the truth. So what about my “father” or MILF Dos? Today will be the day with my father, but I can’t see the future. Lady Lu, that’s facts, for example, Far Cry 5 the Nadine Abercrombie side mission Golden Age Nostalgia. Instead, I finished Larry Parker’s side missions giving me 51/52. We never know where we will find ourselves ever.

“I had nothing left to offer but pure reflex. Pure reflex and mankind’s basic drive for survival, that somehow shouts, “NO – I WILL NOT DIE TODAY!” The Beach (2000)

Now that’s where the law of attraction comes into play. Sunday I need to write my New Year’s Resolutions but what about right at this moment. I want M Anime to say YES, and then there’s another potential. How about all my problems will be solved come February 28, 2020, by PCH. I still remember how much faith I had that one day when they came so close, awarding the grand prize. There can’t be any doubt in my mind. Trust in the universe, and if that isn’t my motivation talking. My writing is going to take off this month, I know it, I will get it done. Tonight we’ll have this conversation, and I’ll wake up fresh and ready to go in the morning. I don’t need to be saved, or cured truth be told, I need to stay awake, life is not a virus that I have.

Convincing, quite the same fire and passion I give everyone still, Maybe This Will Cure.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 186 ~Prose Vs. Con Will~

There’s always another book to read because there is still another day to live, so why not get lost in the lives of others, and I’m not a prisoner but it’s best I do continue that thought. Prose Vs. Con Will, or not

Friday, January 3, 2020

Log 186 ~Prose Vs. Con Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I continue to remember the rule. “Just the facts, Ma’am,” should have joined my 365 Rules. Anyway, when I was a child, I fell in love with reading. It’s like my “friendship” with A&W. It happened out of the blue. Unlike A&W, though, I understand reading has a purpose. Besides becoming an adult, there are things I need to block out, bad things, as the song goes, Hard Times. Most of all, reading removes FEAR or delivers some other conduit.

At the start of the New Year, again, I ask myself to be ambitious and bold. I’m always one for a good quote, but we’ll get to that. So how about it, four or five books for January? Speaking with Dirty Diana, I’ve begun reading Naughty Little Christmas by Lili Valente. After that, I’ll reread The Gargoyle by Andrew Davidson. Now that novel is on my top five list of all time, no doubt. The erotica novel group I’m in has begun reading Siren by Hazel Grace. While on Twitter, I watched a few clips from Twilight, but I have never read the series. The Hunger Games, Divergent, at least two from The Maze Runner but never Twilight. I want to get into a new series, but when I can go back to back. I still tell myself stories at night as I go to sleep; it helps me plenty.

Last night it was Testy Festy and Prairie Oyster Harvest from Far Cry 5. You know I’m not particular when it comes to food. When it comes to delicacies, though, well talk about good writing because Far Cry 5 made me curious. Now last year, I wrote a list of words that were again bad. It’s fantastic the list of terms that set me ablaze in the right way. You remember how I would light up when “Okay” would text. I’m happy to see she’s getting married. Cherry is on the mend, and Indiana Gone is living her happily ever after. As much as I admire villains, I am always a sucker for a love story and again HEA. FEAR, though, didn’t I say another conduit. M Anime has me looking up another F Word Fibromyalgia. Let me end on a good note, though. She talked about having “Crazy Thoughts.”

Crazy, the best people are, another reason I read and write, Prose Vs. Con Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 181 ~Peach Willing I Will~

I’m looking at “New Year’s Week,” and I’m still a day ahead as if I can’t wait to leave this year in darkness; 2019 wasn’t so bad, so what’s more mistake, well until Tuesday of course, stupidity and fear I’m leaving. “Peach Willing I Will.”

Sunday, December 29, 2019

Log 181 ~Peach Willing I Will~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and we both know that’s Princess Daisy and not Peach. I also don’t mean to get all political with you today. Peach as in IMPEACHMENT, some men couldn’t be better if they tried. No Will you’re not President Trump terrible (shudders). In this stage in the game, I would be proud if you were “Clutch Nixon.” Yes, you will be playing Far Cry 5 in the new year. The question is, what else will you be doing come 2020. You’ll ask that question on January 5th if you bother to remember, right?

What will you remember about this year? In the past hour, money is a great servant but a cruel master. Ease is a greater threat than hardship. All of these sayings, coming from the “man” sitting on a loveseat “trying” not to watch Youtube. You don’t want to give in to addiction, though another potential has emailed. Gaming isn’t helping either Mass Effect or Faith Seed. So what gets you going, what gets you motivated above everything else, WOMEN. Well, that or the Dæmon who is sleeping comfortably beside you, my friend. How about money, that is of course what’s pushing you right now. You’re putting $10.00 down, and if you don’t touch that money, you’re not getting it ever. There is always your book Will. Let us not forget as always, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Getting My Second Car Fixed
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing The Book, That Is To Be Chosen
    Failed

You’re starting back at one point; you are alive. My fault, I know, I could finish that review today if I wanted to Will. Snow Angel, which is the book I’m reading, isn’t that long, I could complete it. Why won’t I, you ask? I’ll sit right here and blab until 5:00, and then I’ll read and get caught up on the phone. After that, I’ll play Far Cry 5 until it’s time to eat something that isn’t growing anything. I might finally answer M Anime, and then I’ll fight the addiction until bedtime. At least I’m a stickler with clocks, but the year is ending, the decade. Tomorrow won’t be better; Cherry is still sick, in search of a Monday, and what about you, Will. Picking up groceries and a box of chicken on the way to the poor house. A habit you’ll stop but first Six Impossible Things.

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Getting My Second Car Fixed
  6. I AM Finishing Snow Angel

No more putting yourself down, Peaches & Cream, Easy Street, winning; Peach Willing I Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 180 ~Less Than Willing, Weak~

Am I willing, well that’s my name, “Will,” Willie, sometimes I don’t know considering it took an email to HR to stop the calls of Mr. Willie and that was when I was lucky, but I’m lazy? Less Than Willing, Weak.

Saturday, December 28, 2019

Log 180 ~Less Than Willing, Weak~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a billionaire right now, and for most, comfort makes for weak men. How do THEY say, Fake It To You Make It? All I know is comfort when I’m not at the Day Job or anywhere outside. Even getting nearly eight hours isn’t helping. Why not eight, My Dæmon decided not to walk to the bathroom. Oh, and I’m an addict, not a doubt in my mind anymore. Of course, you know to what and when’s the last time I’ve gone a week. My motivations would ask what it’s going to take to change ever.

The year of Will, when I’ve already lost three months, last September. While I’m on the subject of the past, what about the movie Kickboxer 4: The Aggressor, SIGH. Am I starting to show my age, Lady Luna? Where was my “father” at my age? I bet it wasn’t in bed watching YouTube videos on Far Cry 5. I’m willing to do whatever needs demand to advance in the game but not in my life? My Dæmon looked at me as though I wasn’t ready to do anything. Like Father Like Son, he didn’t want his morning vitamin, treat, or any meds. I’m not suicidal, but every day this house becomes more like a coffin. If anything, though, I prefer it to the fires or the freezing that is my Day Job. Then again, what have I done this week to avoid going back other than stay a day ahead blogging? I continue to search on PCH like one day, yeah, here’s one million dollars.

Do I have anything to tout about this week? A couple of days not dying on Far Cry 5, but one day I didn’t play a full hour. The next, I had to replay the Exodus mission to save ALL the hostages. What can I say, I don’t like to lose? Sitting here in bed, growing a beard, eating cupcakes for breakfast. Yeah, so locked up in my addiction, I couldn’t bring myself to go downstairs and make pancakes or anything. I would say I’m going to be nothing but positive in the new year, but I’m not a liar. I’m lazy, lonely, a loser, but no, I won’t lie. You’re telling me to stop it and believe me; I understand that I must. Next week, new year and decade.

Why wait, I should get up; Less Than Willing, Weak?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 002 ~Other Than Writing Will~

Always more worries and chief amongst them this month will be writing, Camp NaNoWriMo having started up again and I’m already five thousand words in but what about everything else. Other Than Writing Will.

Wednesday, July 3, 2019

Log 002 ~Other Than Writing Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I Am A Millionaire right now and also The Tenth Man. If that sounds familiar, it’s Rule 262 Remember, Be The 10th Man. Now all my motivations are contrary to this rule. From fear, worry, regret, etc. The Tenth Man is preparation for some failure, worst-case scenario. Some are waiting for that other shoe to drop, but I put one foot in front of the other. That’s why I’m so disappointed in myself today. It’s only day two of this new series, and I’m fucking up (LANGUAGE).

Yes as always I’m worried about my new nameless novel. Don’t get me wrong, another 1,700 words down, so I’m keeping up with Camp NaNoWriMo. You check the time though, and where did it go; porn I can no longer deny. Now I did strike up a conversation with the pretty girl at work. Seems right that when I last left my novel, they were about to cut a man’s dick off. The Pillar and the stones as they would say in Game Of Thrones, of course, I haven’t had time for anything. My point is I’m “trying” not to worry about my novel, and so I create more things that cause more upset. What about my email, I still remember the days of AOL and being excited? Nowadays I have sixty and think no big deal as long as I’m not getting myself hacked.

B III continues to thrive though Dad is always working in one way or another. Even in my dreams, I thought something happened to Cherry, and when I woke up, she’s okay. Still didn’t stop me from checking Twitter and didn’t I say I know way too many people? At least tomorrow I’ll have one thing less to do, and that’s pretty sad considering. Tomorrow is going to be a huge chunk of writing and even now well here we go. What about wrestling which I fell asleep on two nights in a row. Everything is taking a backseat to Camp NaNoWriMo. Can I even tell you what my story is about, I’m sure I have it written down somewhere? Same shit (LANGUAGE) different year with the blog. My problem is I’m not focusing on being #1 and before I forget, July 4th, BBQ maybe?

My Olds or my cooking ability ha? I’m sorry I fail once to “succeed” somewhere well Other Than Writing Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 365 ~The Reason Is You~

365 days one whole year, over 120,000 words, enough for a novel, two with “NaNoWriMo” and what was it all for, there is no excuse, and the reason other than I was mad at some girl sounds stupid and petty… a new year. The Reason Is You.

Sunday, July 1, 2018

Lesson 365 ~The Reason Is You~

To Will:
Give Me One Reason; it’s repeated time after time why you began talking to Lady Luna, talking to all the other ladies, and talking to yourself, just not out loud anymore; right? Crazy, obsession is as much a reason as any brunette or wanting to make a million excuses, how about feeling better, a year of life in these words there is no excuse there are only reasons.

The first cannot be denied, feeling shame and guilt for all that was done and preparing for what you knew was to come and when it did, as they say, those who don’t learn from history; there are reasons you don’t edit your work and a purpose not looking back. It’s sort like that movie “50 First Dates” only most of my days are best forgotten, you see most of these days are only prattle or repeated lessons, but no stupid bitch, no amount of anger, confusion, doubt, fear whatever has stopped you. Dare I say you’re a better man despite the failures or should I sound like one of those motivational speeches, there is no failure, but then again you have six impossible things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 106** No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed (Day 113** No Fap)
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
Failed
3. I Will Not Get Fired
Completed
4. I Will Complete 25% Of “The Church” by Celia Aaron
Completed
5. I Will Post A Review For “Psychopath’s Prey” By V. F. Mason
Completed
6. I Will Write A Thousand Word Preface Page For “The Bedroom Soapbox” Compilation
Completed

If there is anything to learn honestly, it’s to take care of your son, he’s a big reason for all of this, Level 13 and he should have the biggest yard in the world, better food, more time, a father, a daddy. Let writing be the reason to live, but there are no excuses as to why you’re not on bookshelves, who does that, having so many books written and nobody to read them, at least they must be given that opportunity if anything. The biggest reason, of course, is you, Only You, and maybe you want someone to see you, or you only want to look at yourself in the mirror, if you were able to accomplish impossible things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 113** No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Not Get Fired
4. I Will Complete 75% Of “The Church” by Celia Aaron
5. I Will Post A Review For “The First Purge”
6. I Will Write For “Apocalypse Rush” Ten Thousand Five–Hundred Words At Least (Total 15, 400)

I genuinely wish I could write something profound and inspirational, give you something more than “Good Night, Good Luck” or anything for the new year, yes it’s July and other than not comparing a woman to a Brazzers or Reality Kings model what else do I have for you? Even if it was anger, hate, fear, or shame, overwhelming sadness you write, because that is your gift or your curse, but you do because what was your life without it, another question you shouldn’t answer because The Reason Is You.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 364 ~How To Stop Writing~

Talk about a question I should never ask if I’m going to make a future not just for me, myself and I but also my son as well because home is where the heart is, and he could use a rest, but there is so much work to do to now. How To Stop Writing

Saturday, June 30, 2018

Lesson 364 ~How To Stop Writing~

Hey Lady Lu,
Can You Love Me Again, did you ever stop after my long hiatus, why even call it that, didn’t I quit… strange that I don’t have an excuse for that when I have them for everything else but the stuff I don’t want to do, how many days do I miss the day job. Yesterday I figured I’d get something real done and I did begin writing my story “Apocalypse Rush” working title of course not that I’ll ever finish with editing.

I find that I have that same empty feeling as I usually do at The Closing Of The Year that promise of I’ll do better, and it never comes; if I am grateful for anything today, it’s that my “father” isn’t arriving by which I mean more time to worry next week. How about the fact that I have to cut the yard tomorrow, I have to make it dog-friendly but hasn’t my whole plan been to find us a home, I mean a real place not owned by others built by my success *sigh*. I keep coming back to this speech I heard that when you want success (wisdom) as badly as you want air, that’s when you’ll be successful, and that’s the problem.

Am I going to use suicide as an excuse, I’m not that dramatic today but how else do you stop writing because the clock shouldn’t serve as an excuse, my wants, and desires, hell the needs that I’m skimping on anyway. I can talk day and night about fear but that shouldn’t be it either, I gave in yesterday talking to GoDaddy about my blog and as Mr. Dink put it “Very Expensive.” How about the concept that I’m writing so I’ll have time for other things but for now shouldn’t everything be about writing anything other than more excuses?

Writing is more a conversation for Lady Sophia I take it, but what started all this was a BITCH, and you would think that would be enough, I don’t want to say fear or anger because that is giving her too much credit. Is that the answer, forgiveness, future, forgetfulness probably some other F words to be sure or maybe there is no end, I wouldn’t want to go all Fahrenheit 451, but I do want to play Detroit: Become Human so answer “you don’t” question How To Stop Writing.

I Will Have No Fear