Saturday, July 7, 2018

Episode 006 ~My Number’s Up, Again~

Hey Lady Lu,
Give Me One Reason not to die though I feel that way regularly, not precisely suicidal; there was a time though I got a speeding ticket and I had no money and figured I only had three weeks to live; life or death how it always is with my father just saying.

Fifteen Hundred words, it took me so much time last night because of all the pretty girls, but I’m still hanging in there, “No Fap” and all, Day 119 and counting but today aren’t I suppose to do five thousand words? Am I giving up, am I making excuses, and I going to say that I won’t do it, I could go back to sleep of course and there it is, I could, between talking to you, writing that review on The First Purge, etc. Talk about being at a loss for speech because there is nothing I can say, keep writing and then asking myself what for, would I find myself published the week after next maybe a millionaire?

Forty-Six dollars is forty-six dollars, and already that’s gone, I figure I’ll go to the bank anyway because I have to find some way to keep the blog afloat and remember when I started it only took around eighty bucks. It’s also not helping that I’m thinking of some retail therapy, not to sound like a sexist but if sex is such a taboo subject, I can see why women are always buying stuff… coping.

Twelve hours, six-hour shifts, two days, I dodged one bullet when it came to working in shoes, but I won’t get so lucky this time, cleaning, what did I say yesterday about being illiterate because I don’t understand what I’m doing. What about the concept of “I’ll think about it” translating to my dumbass boss as “he’ll do it” dammit Lady Luna clearly like my father. If I were doing any writing you would think I’d write more black men as villains instead of somewhat anti-heroes, remember who the real enemy is, here I am a black man, and I can’t stand MOST black people.

“… but the truth is that I dislike most men as much as I dislike women. If anything, I am an equal opportunity misanthropist.”
― Andrew Davidson, The Gargoyle (2008)

Now none of these numbers will honestly kill me, well at least I shouldn’t feel that way but you know “Anxiety” but that sounds like an excuse, and I have a million of them. Now yes I was doomed on day one (but it’s only July) *sigh* I’ve got to use my imagination to show why My Number’s Up… Again.

I Will Have No Fear