Friday, November 17, 2017

Lesson 139 ~Because Books Become Beguiling…~

Hey Lady Sophia,
No Fear because every day I doubt all the more truly I could ever write such a title and yet the dream remains, forever the dream, how many words am I supposed to have written for “NaNoWriMo” by today and with my current schedule as is *sigh*.

It doesn’t take much to write excuses does it or even talk to you, no I’m not trying to be mean though I’m sure a girl here or there would call me as such. Here I am trying to write a 50,000-word novel and I can’t even reply to a few simple text and I actually fell asleep today, the “5-hour Energy” is still working, I didn’t take it before because… Yeah, fill in the blank with whatever you want when it comes to that, talking about my warped creativity.

What do I find inspires me lately… I already fell off the wagon as of late but I have been finding my anger fuels me quite a bit, I feel, my day job knows all about my “epic” rants and that’s been awhile too. As for my current reading list, “Shiver” by Ella Frank and Brooke Blaine, and I don’t mean this as a criticism but it is honestly the gayest thing I ever read, Gay Dark Erotica, of course, I didn’t know that when I first picked up the title, read between the lines or read the fine print why don’t I. Talk about beguiling because in my life there have been perhaps three books I just couldn’t finish.

Maybe I’m just stubborn when it comes to this one and if only I could be as stubborn when it comes to my own writing, because charming, beguiling, debonair, what have you is not what I have been doing lately. It’s been about banging my head against a wall or more to the point… oh yeah, I have to be somewhat diplomatic talking to you, probably the only real practice I have been getting with my writing lately just saying.

I will never say that any book disturbs to be burned, people sure but ideas, even bad ones show us something, even if we are the worst off for it if they come rushed, and unlike some words said, writing means… isn’t that a question, what does writing mean. Perhaps people will never know because my words belong somewhere else but others in the end maybe “Because Books Become Beguiling…”

I Will Have No Fear