Thursday, December 21, 2017
Lesson 173 ~A Return To Innocence~
WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED
Come In Dirty Diana,
No Fear, though I let myself down, literally, a loss of power, a loss of control and what was it this time, a fantasy about a maid, what about a bit of erotica, an incredible hatefuck, or just that pornstar Holly Lane, a million excuses sadly.
Now the first thing is I’m not Winston Smith; I think whores are deadening which is strange because I instead enjoy making the most innocent of ladies claim whoredom or making them claim to be sluts. Is it just me or does every guy want some virgin, someone untouched and yet they seek out pretty much any woman that will spread their legs? Hell, I could take this to a biblical level, women are responsible for original sin right, and the church teaches that a man must have a godly household, okay creeping myself out.
Anyway, I’m in that period of being thoroughly disgusted at my weakness and vowing never to give in again and oh look I have three of my fantasies on my phone. The thing is it isn’t the somewhat porn that gets me, it’s the idea, hell not even the tease, just the sweetest things, the angels that drive me mad, maybe that’s why I appreciate the silence and the dark. Maybe I need the hurt and the pain, the humiliation, and the degradation; while running errands today I remembered my own Harvey Weinstein pervy attitude, doesn’t happen too often but such and such makes me hate myself all the more.
Maybe it’s just the holiday season but I think we honestly need a new plague and then that reminded me of “The Screwfly Solution” … relax Dirty Diana; I’m not that much of a psycho. One must think however what women do to men or is it merely genetics, could be kinky, but some like being choked during sex and others like doing the choking, spanking, bondage, you know, etc.
I miss the feeling of my innocence, around thirty-one days of it and you know what I felt, besides horny… more primal like I was on the hunt, and I didn’t just want any woman, I could have one if I wanted. Maybe I just want to feel all lovey-dovey only, A Return To Innocence.
I Will Have No Fear