Sunday, January 28, 2018

Lesson 211 ~Here’s To The F-Words~

To Will:
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, but a lie has always tasted better than the truth, but I wouldn’t feed it to you, not purposely or deliberately but then you would go hungry wouldn’t you? Hunger, back to the wall, surrounded, it’s enough to make one scream the F-Word, yes I’m back to censoring myself but what exactly am I leaving you with after the week that I’ve had, you know it’s not fair.

Fair, life is not fair, isn’t that what they say and that’s the truth, but we’ll get to that, but even Billie Jean roared “Fair Is Fair” and what happened to her? Fired though that was only in effigy, whatever would become of you if you got canned this week and for what, because you refuse to make friends or have fun. Friends and fun are words that you would never use to describe work, and there is one excellent F-Word for the guy that runs the place but wouldn’t that just make you a failure, like me, with everything that happened and didn’t last week, those goals of ours.

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants, (Day 25 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed Day 32
2. I Will Go Outside, Not Work Or Just Walmart, But Starbucks, Bookstore, Library
Failed
3. I Will Not Censor Myself
Failed
4. I Will Smart Off To Somebody At Work
Completed (HR)
5. I Will Focus More On The Dog And Pretty Girls
Failed (Depression)
6. I Will Work On My NaNoWriMo Novel
Failed

Fail, no an Epic Fail as the kids say these days and what can I say about number four, after everything that happens during the workday to me and the moment I choose to stand I leave you on the brink of war, I’m sorry. Fear is not something I want for you but it is here, and it will be waiting later on this week so is that another goal, indeed that is the all-consuming goal for your life or the life you want to have. Forget everything that has happened to me this week, but that will be next to impossible I know but do, that’s what we strive to do now name those six impossible things Will:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants, (Day 32 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Keep Working The Day Job Despite Everything
3. I Will Not Spend A Full Day In Bed (Not More Than 8 Hours In 24)
4. I Will Forget About Last Week
5. I Will Focus More On The Dog And Pretty Girls
6. I Will Work On My NaNoWriMo Novel

What more can I ask of you, that you will have a future because I already said I want you to forget about me and does that make me a hypocrite wanting you to erase the past but without it, without me, you don’t have a future? Future you’ll have one, but this shouldn’t just be about what I want you to do for me but something for you, I can’t say what makes you happy because you’re still trying to discover such a thing.

So go and look and if not for then for the dog, he needs more treats anyway and who knows you might make it through this week without a certain F-Word but, to be honest Will, Here’s To The F-Words.

“Promise me you’ll find it.”

“Find what?”

“The life of a Victor.” Mockingjay Part 2

I Will Have No Fear