Log 034 ~An Aha Moment Will~

Last week I named friends, yesterday I named an enemy and as the song goes “his name was my name too” the fact that he, she, or it tried to steal it; but my little boy saved me, mentioning his name would be a bad idea. “An Aha Moment Will.”

Sunday, August 4, 2019

Log 034 ~An Aha Moment Will~

To Will:
I AM a Millionaire right now like Aha is a real word. Well, that sound does beat the heart pounding in your chest. What about the snoring you should be doing? Hyperventilating perhaps or the internal screaming I was all about yesterday? The pings from messages and emails all from yesterday. The sound of your son’s name, which is one of the reasons you might know salvation. Hours of fear it seems and so yes an audible scream would be a welcome change.

Now you shouldn’t think that with everything going on these days. Let’s not get into that, ore that enough people giving their two cents. Speaking of sense, it’s good I haven’t said my son’s name. Ironic that one of the only good things in your life you can’t even acknowledge. SIGH, so here we go, yesterday I got hacked. It happened out of the blue, no warning, no bells or whistles. Only a ping and a decent human being. Since that moment, I was running around trying to make sense of it. Begging and pleading for forgiveness. You know how they say your ultimate power and weakness stare back at you in the mirror. Scarier still when it’s on your screen for the world to see. I owe you an apology for the fact that you are living with the fear as well. Yes, and still, these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” B III Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Naming My Novel And Writing A Back Cover Of Another
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing The Five
    Failed
  5. I AM Bringing My Email Inbox To Zero
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing Reading Beauty in the Broken: A Diamond Magnate Novel by
    Charmaine Pauls Failed
  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” B III Deserves
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry Compilation “GULP”
  4. I AM Reviewing The Five
  5. I AM Bringing My Email Inbox To Zero
  6. I AM Finishing Reading Beauty in the Broken: A Diamond Magnate Novel by Charmaine Pauls

Only you can’t think about them right now. No, you’re up at 4:00 AM not because you made a choice. You would have fallen asleep again no question but the fear Will? Staring at your phone like you’re one of the characters in One Missed Call. Knowing shame like Lady Mormont as if you “refused the call.” I did too busy being afraid. Again you’re awake because you are no doubt. Rule 002 states, “You Are Not A Caveman,” and Rule 1 you always say. Today though are you still going to jump at your phone’s command. Will you hit your screen and so many buttons in terror? Waste every footstep running for your life. I know you’re not a fan of laughter. Every breath is like a fight for survival. Your stomach is churning with the sickness that’s you.

Last night you got a good idea thanks to “Indiana Gone” and Haley Pullos. Inspiration indeed is a beautiful sound right, An Aha Moment Will.

I Will Have No Fear