Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Lesson 074 ~Don’t Lie for Me~

Hey Lady Lu,
No Fear and no sleep if Braxton has anything to say about it, hopping right into the lesson today, “no ifs, ands, or buts”, now about lies though? Talking about ulterior motives, sometimes Braxton is too smart for his own good, he lies in my spot but not out of love but to make sure I can’t crawl back into bed, he lies down when I’m eating not out of obedience, he knows that he is often rewarded for not begging, so on and so forth usually.

I know that sounds stupid I know but I wonder how many people lie to me for similar reasons, friends you know that dare I say like me for me? Of course, a running theme of mine has been I don’t even know who I am myself and when I behave differently, well as they say, with friends like these who needs enemies? A friend told me, that they have a file on me, my school, the police, the whole damn internet which must be so incredibly confused but I wish I knew what they say about me at work.

“Some of the most successful relationships are based on lies and deceit. Since that’s where they usually end up anyway, it’s a logical place to start.” Lord of War (2005)

How about the fact that I’m my own worst enemy and I lie (asleep) not because of depression but because it’s the only time, said enemy gives me a break? When I finally take “The Big Sleep”, I hope they won’t lie about my life, another reason to write, so people can’t lie, no Luna I want people tossing and turning, I want them up in arms, or anything else. These words may lie on the page but it will be people that will decide the truth or the lie, but don’t we all really?

“What’s the threat? We all sell out every day, might as well be on the winning team.” They Live (1988)

We lie about the people we’re with, support friends even when better friends know better, at work they build you up on lies, surrounded by air while you’re lying in the dirt, at the end of the day is six feet enough. Of course Braxton has the best excuse and I have learned to speak his language but it’s people Luna, and in a way I guess they can’t help it, as I said I don’t know me so they can’t know me but it’s their stories, the weight of it all, I can’t take.

So what have I learned today, maybe it’s the Will said this, Will feels that Will looks like… stuff at work are just people again lying about me or lying for me, this person they have never even met and so Don’t Lie for Me.”

I Will Have No Fear