Monday, November 20, 2017

Lesson 142 ~Stop Crying Your Heart Out~

Seventh Rule Madam Justice,
No Fear, but complaints, tears, frustrations, worries, and who am kidding there is fear, there is always fear, but the trick is that nobody is supposed to know it if anything that is not what a man is. As if I know what being a real man is right but on the other hand, there are plenty of days I don’t think I even have a heart at all really.

I get accused of a lot of wearing my heart on my sleeve and even today I could find plenty to cry about, how hard work was today (my boss said I look like Spike Lee) plus I’m just so tired, how this week is going to suck overall, or how about why I’m even bothering with NaNoWriMo. What about the situation I found myself in so many months ago; no question I wasn’t being a gentleman back then and I think I read somewhere that a gentleman must keep these feelings to himself. It hasn’t just been words either which has been ugly enough I think, but then again can I count my heart amongst some of those ha.

You don’t know how many times I wish I could just break down and cry or to actually pray for a miracle, should I start envying my dog and maybe I understand why some men make themselves out to be gods. Could you imagine God crying about something and you know this will lead to a Jesus discussion so let’s just drop it right now? That’s the thing though I should just drop it, drop everything that makes me, myself I guess and instead of crying, drown my sorrows, fake it till I make it, or whatever else people say.

So am I expected to lie forever… if other people can do it, and at least it would be something because you know I’m too quiet anyways isn’t that right. The thing is crying never solves anything now does is Madam Justice, I think even you would think less of me but truth be told can people’s opinion of me get any lower… still complaining?

I again find myself apologizing for just being me for I am truly guilty but it could be worse, it nearly has been worse but at the end of the day, I’m still alive so Stop Crying Your Heart Out.

I Will Have No Fear