Lesson 251 ~Sign Of A Gentleman~

Flowers, Candy, Sweet Nothings, sometimes you should just shut up and show what you got; words can be as dirty as anything, and my name is mud. Also, there are other ways to make dirty money. Sign Of A Gentleman but nobody liked him either.

Friday, March 9, 2018

Lesson 251 ~Sign Of A Gentleman~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore for I am as notorious as Rumpelstiltskin; what I mean is how many people know my name, how often do I brag, what evils, deeds, and deals have I conjured to end up with nothing? What’s in a name, I’m sure somewhere in the land of 0s and 1s I have value but whatever happened to this man’s word I ask you?

The sign of a gentleman is his good name, and I lost that long ago and replaced it with, well take your pick, I’m sure Amazon sees me as nothing more than those same 0s and 1s or repeating the same mistakes. I still believe that I am a man of my word; if I promise, I deliver, but maybe it’s not my name as much as I should worry about the others; you wouldn’t sign a pact with the Devil, would you? Don’t answer that because if it meant a payout for once in my life, I would and what’s my soul worth anyway?

Probably about as much as my name because I have a hard enough time finding the value in either, sort of the difference between forty-five and fifty bucks, food or fun but yeah I’m never growing up right? It’s not that I’m without merit, restocking the submissive closet is one thing, but I did buy food. The dog is well taken care of, I even bought some books but then again my erotica reading group has to be mostly girls and “Cherry” *sigh* I might have mentioned a sweet English tart to one of you girls a while back, seems she wrote a poetry book.

What about my “great” novel, maybe I’m not in a rush to put my name on anything, take my wealth, my sanity, anything but my name but again isn’t that already gone? I use to think that if I couldn’t have fame, I could deal with infamy but lately, I just wish I could start my story all over again, my life story that is.

You know how often I quote that conversation from The Walking Dead “Here’s Not Here” and I will do so again but a gentleman, a man, in general, is not just his name, or his actions. He is so much more and as I write out my story, my work as both man and monster I feel the need to find a better part of me, Sign Of A Gentleman.

“What we’ve done, we’ve done.
We evade it by moving forward with a code to never do it again.
To make up for it.
To still accept what we were.
To accept everyone.
To protect everyone.
And in doing that, protect yourself.
To create peace.” Here’s Not Here, Episode 06×04

“There’s a saying — the pessimist looks down and hits his head.
The optimist looks up and loses his footing.
The realist looks forward and adjusts his path accordingly.” The Well, The Walking Dead 07×02

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 142 ~Stop Crying Your Heart Out~

Maybe if I was left with a few beers, sometimes as the song goes I wish it would rain, could I maybe go work out in the gym, how about having some woman in my bed, anything to stop talking about my feelings “Stop Crying Your Heart Out”

Monday, November 20, 2017

Lesson 142 ~Stop Crying Your Heart Out~

Seventh Rule Madam Justice,
No Fear, but complaints, tears, frustrations, worries, and who am kidding there is fear, there is always fear, but the trick is that nobody is supposed to know it if anything that is not what a man is. As if I know what being a real man is right but on the other hand, there are plenty of days I don’t think I even have a heart at all really.

I get accused of a lot of wearing my heart on my sleeve and even today I could find plenty to cry about, how hard work was today (my boss said I look like Spike Lee) plus I’m just so tired, how this week is going to suck overall, or how about why I’m even bothering with NaNoWriMo. What about the situation I found myself in so many months ago; no question I wasn’t being a gentleman back then and I think I read somewhere that a gentleman must keep these feelings to himself. It hasn’t just been words either which has been ugly enough I think, but then again can I count my heart amongst some of those ha.

You don’t know how many times I wish I could just break down and cry or to actually pray for a miracle, should I start envying my dog and maybe I understand why some men make themselves out to be gods. Could you imagine God crying about something and you know this will lead to a Jesus discussion so let’s just drop it right now? That’s the thing though I should just drop it, drop everything that makes me, myself I guess and instead of crying, drown my sorrows, fake it till I make it, or whatever else people say.

So am I expected to lie forever… if other people can do it, and at least it would be something because you know I’m too quiet anyways isn’t that right. The thing is crying never solves anything now does is Madam Justice, I think even you would think less of me but truth be told can people’s opinion of me get any lower… still complaining?

I again find myself apologizing for just being me for I am truly guilty but it could be worse, it nearly has been worse but at the end of the day, I’m still alive so Stop Crying Your Heart Out.

I Will Have No Fear

The Air of a Gentlemen

Always reaching, can I keep my feet on the ground for once, someone once said, don’t try to be a great man, just be a man. “The Air of a Gentlemen” I wish I was a little bit taller if only that is all it took these days.

But wherever in the world
does he come from, the hero,
with cape ready and unfurled
because Fierros
don’t save lives
or open a lady’s… eyes.
No, he has returned

Return of the Mack heard,
along with his wish that everybody wants to go to Heaven
she observed
being the angel that beckons
him to take her to a gangsta’s paradise
crying out “I’m alive”
because nobody wants to die when pretty pearls

still, lie undiscovered and the netherworld
can wait
while this gentleman, curled
up so close to God, says “you made a mistake”.
Operating on those they would make divine.
Such a man finds
that while the world does twirl

some rocket man almost hurls
but she didn’t see the meltdown.
How he uncurls
himself from Armageddon, the Apocalypse, the world goes around
though always on alarm,
she has no place but his arms
as though this is Westworld.

A machine and not biology this girl
falls like autumn leaves
perhaps like a thousand words
that the writer has yet to believe.
Maybe like any other,
he might learn to fly as the Wright Brothers
with the air of a gentlemen and reach her

Copyright © 2017, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.