Nothing has ever come close to destroying me more than words have, and maybe these pages only serve as a reminder that the wound is there and then I rip them off and throw them in the trash. How To Write Just Bleed.
Monday, December 11. 2017
Lesson 163~How To Write, Just Bleed~
Tenth Rule Madam Justice,
No Fear, the first name on the list is mine own, the old story of the first word I ever wrote, my first victim who is me because maybe I knew what was coming, perhaps I wanted to do the world a favor. The thing is Madam Justice; I don’t die, people say that women talk too much, people also say “I don’t trust anything that bleeds for a week and doesn’t die” another shot at women, so what kind of man does that make me.
With my writing, I think it both hurts and helps me; most days especially like today I feel like dying, and then I expect my words actually to give me the life that I deserve. Sometimes I do use words to hurt other people, whether intentional or not another saying, about the pen to the sword, which I can believe. What about other people’s words, I thought about that bitch you know who and her words ripped into me, but I’m still here, every now and again I just have to pull the Band-Aid off.
The best art comes from suffering, of course, that’s just a personal opinion but some create such beauty and what do I make… if anything we just want to see it, the mess. Burn books, then burn people but nothing seems to quench the flames does it, so maybe that’s why I bleed more because I know I’m going to Hell. So why do I make Hell even bigger or perhaps I’m trying to drown myself, blood, sweat, tears, and yes Madam Justice cum too, it all hits the page.
Could it be as in Fight Club, that I want to destroy something beautiful and isn’t that something, there is so much beauty in the world, so it will take something hideous to be recognized by anyone. I know I am coming up with theory after theory, so I present you with another if this is my “suicide note,” relax Madam Justice something I heard from Fear The Walking Dead. Anyway, suicide is a solo act; some say a selfish one, so I hurt myself, I write not caring if anyone sees the outcome right?
Writing is why I continue down this road, the typing dead, the write one dead, one more thing, I write to remember and so that’s How To Write Just Bleed.
I Will Have No Fear