Last week I talked about fearing to be different and not wanting to hide. All of this would explain not leaving the house and being wrapped up in blankets. At least my kid can see my face until I take a shower and get STUPID. The Mask Of Willy.
Wednesday, April 15, 2020
Log 289 ~The Mask Of Willy~
Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but is it because I’m doing something positive? Chris Rock said something to the tune of a black man must be positive. In this country, it must be all good works. Of course, white people can create, capitalize, or conquer whatever they want. Excuse me for getting a bit racial. What I’m getting at today is that even if I had everything, I couldn’t imagine smiling. Happiness has become that much of a foreign concept. Besides that, every day, it’s like I’m hiding, and someday it’s all going to come out.
Here I am in a world that wants us to literally wear a mask, but do I? No, I’m too afraid of one more humiliation. I hear about people being accused of being criminals. Indeed, I might get sick, but as long as I’m what? I don’t even know anymore, Inspector Echo. If there’s something I can be sure of, it’s that I’m all sorts of lazy. Right now, I’m all wrapped up in blankets, and I could give you a dozen or so lame excuses. Last night I had a coughing fit and thought I was getting sick. It was only something caught in my throat. Speaking of which, I continue to ask the question of why do I write. Could you imagine me singing like Akon to Cherry or M Anime? I text all the time, “I wanna (love) you, you already know.” Love… that’s a dirty word considering my true motives, so yeah, what’s this about masks.
My writing is a mask because I’m not a rich white guy. I also refuse to be a STUPID black one. Yeah, I heard what I said, and you would be right to call me an “Uncle Tom” like Surgeon General Jerome Adams. At least “The Eve of a Cherry” is fiction, for the most part. Sex makes me feel “decent,” but like any other drug, it becomes consuming. As of this moment, 2 days, 17 hrs., 48 min, 36 secs of NO FAP. Will I make it the week (today is Monday)? Inspector Echo, why don’t you tell me how one is to mask desire? I have rage sure, and Zorro hid behind this persona. I guess like going to the store I won’t wear the mask and the sickness is always there waiting.
I’m sorry, Inspector Echo, for FEAR, The Mask Of Willy.
I Will Have No Fear