Tag: Masks

Log 317 ~Willing To Work Yet~

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First week back at work, how am I holding up? I tell you the things I would do, and I had a month, and what did I do? Wrote a book I can’t publish, and while the Coronavirus hasn’t gotten to me, I still suffer from anxiety. “Willing To Work Yet”

Wednesday, May 13, 2020

Log 317 ~Willing To Work Yet~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and it took work to get here. So you know, WORK isn’t on my list of most hated words. I talk about work and the Day Job. Inspector Echo, I respect having to work, but I consider myself lazy. Then there’s the Day Job hmm… have we talked about what else I would be willing to do. Anything to avoid days like Monday… assuming the worse?

For example, why I’m talking to you today, now it’s Sunday. So I’ve blogged this day for about three years now. Right here, looking at my name badge from the Day Job. It’s been “almost” nine years, living paycheck to paycheck. My blog, in three years, is over 438,000 words and not one single book to show for it. Speaking of books, what about The Eve of a Cherry and Gulp? I couldn’t possibly get them published, and why not you ask? Oh right, too busy edging with Mia Khalifa, Mia Malkova, or Mia Rose. If I could organize characters as well as I do my porn. Yeah, my porn, I wasn’t kidding about Onlyfans. I’ve seen the guys that sign up for that. While I have no qualms about my body, it’s not like I would make any money? Last week I had to forgo some of my “investment” budget for the essentials. So I seem to be now.

An essential worker, Inspector Echo, I would do all the above if it meant I could escape the Day Job. Again why I’m talking to you today because when I get scheduled, I don’t want to wake up early. As THEY say about time and money and how do I spend those funds? Not on Call me a Legend or anymore on Onlyfans, yet. My money keeps me going to do things I don’t want to do, and still, I look like some charity case. By the time you’re reading this, I should have a few masks from the Day Job. Remember how I said WORK isn’t a bad word, but yeah, I should add LAZY, and I’m still SIGH STUPID. Everyone figured out how to get a mask before me, all I got is my bandanna and some cloth. Only I’m still going out to the Day Job because I don’t care enough to work at what I love.

No, I’m lazy, horny, and broke, Willing To Work Yet.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 289 ~The Mask Of Willy~

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Last week I talked about fearing to be different and not wanting to hide. All of this would explain not leaving the house and being wrapped up in blankets. At least my kid can see my face until I take a shower and get STUPID. The Mask Of Willy.

Wednesday, April 15, 2020

Log 289 ~The Mask Of Willy~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but is it because I’m doing something positive? Chris Rock said something to the tune of a black man must be positive. In this country, it must be all good works. Of course, white people can create, capitalize, or conquer whatever they want. Excuse me for getting a bit racial. What I’m getting at today is that even if I had everything, I couldn’t imagine smiling. Happiness has become that much of a foreign concept. Besides that, every day, it’s like I’m hiding, and someday it’s all going to come out.

Here I am in a world that wants us to literally wear a mask, but do I? No, I’m too afraid of one more humiliation. I hear about people being accused of being criminals. Indeed, I might get sick, but as long as I’m what? I don’t even know anymore, Inspector Echo. If there’s something I can be sure of, it’s that I’m all sorts of lazy. Right now, I’m all wrapped up in blankets, and I could give you a dozen or so lame excuses. Last night I had a coughing fit and thought I was getting sick. It was only something caught in my throat. Speaking of which, I continue to ask the question of why do I write. Could you imagine me singing like Akon to Cherry or M Anime? I text all the time, “I wanna (love) you, you already know.” Love… that’s a dirty word considering my true motives, so yeah, what’s this about masks.

My writing is a mask because I’m not a rich white guy. I also refuse to be a STUPID black one. Yeah, I heard what I said, and you would be right to call me an “Uncle Tom” like Surgeon General Jerome Adams. At least “The Eve of a Cherry” is fiction, for the most part. Sex makes me feel “decent,” but like any other drug, it becomes consuming. As of this moment, 2 days, 17 hrs., 48 min, 36 secs of NO FAP. Will I make it the week (today is Monday)? Inspector Echo, why don’t you tell me how one is to mask desire? I have rage sure, and Zorro hid behind this persona. I guess like going to the store I won’t wear the mask and the sickness is always there waiting.

I’m sorry, Inspector Echo, for FEAR, The Mask Of Willy.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 073 ~Bursting At The Seams~

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Things I’m not into, talking in my sleep or self- harm and yet a word came out and how does one go about cutting the back of their own neck. “Bursting At The Seams”, it’s tearing me apart Luna or something like that I suspect, any thoughts?

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Lesson 073 ~Bursting At The Seams~

Hey Lady Lu,
No Fear, I don’t normally talk in my sleep but I swear right on cue as the alarms began buzzing the word “burst” was on my lips and I can’t fathom why? Is this going to be one of those nonsensical posts which just makes no sense and is better left screamed into a pillow, now where is the fun in that?

Speaking of which, when was the last time that I screamed ever, I was on the verge, and this is one of those things that just doesn’t do well in print, is that why I want to be louder, get others to do it for me, maybe I need some godawful tragedy. Am I that much of a heartless bastard, I already told you, I’ve been forgetting things, like having a stake in Hurricane Irma, hell I don’t but I still remember exactly where I was when 9/11 happened, haven’t I been talking about the days of “Sapphire”. Yet another reason I talk to you, because all my crap seems juvenile, compared to the greater troubles of the universe right?

Which gets us back to today’s lesson and how it must have taken a hell of a lot to get that one word out of me in my sleep, something out loud with nothing but Braxton to hear me and between me, you, and him we’re great listeners but not such smooth talkers. How about talking in general because I can’t figure out how I got the cut on the back of my neck, I mean it’s easy to say that Braxton did but I can’t confirm it. I came up with a joke today that either my dog or my bitch did it but that’s exactly the type of humor that gets you fired and I was tempting fate

I was on the cusp though Lady Lu, I could feel it in my bones, I mean how my novel is so bloated, I come up with excuses by the truck load to not talk, not in front of customers, chicken biscuits, and other people have their worries. The mask is starting to slip again, I kept quiet around one manager and another saw, a bit of my face too.

So what have I learned today or rather thought… maybe something inside me is trying to get out, and if I can’t find my voice, damn censorship but something is truly Bursting at The Seams.

I Will Have No Fear