Thursday, October 11, 2018

Episode 102 ~And Find Will’s Remote~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How to make One Million Dollars, well I don’t spend any on BDSM leather, and other than condoms I don’t know much about latex, but before I even knew what it meant being “dominant,” I learned one word… CONTROL. When I was young, hell even today, I have issues with anger, now to me RAGE equals ENERGY, and since violence gets frowned upon and I can’t sleep how do I expend it, those days I cleaned.

I can feel your anger. It gives you focus… makes you stronger. ― Supreme Chancellor, Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith (2005)

It was all I had Dirty Diana, but if I could have a clean environment, it would clear my mind, I suppose it was a form of control, and in my day to day life I have so little of that but the ability to focus… I let go of everything, fear, hatred, this rage that has engulfed me except I don’t have anything to tidy here and at work, that’s the problem; sex and violence, you see with sex I want complete control, I may be “kinky” according to some women, okay, but I maintain control because there’s life. With fury at another man I don’t give a fuck; with sex and my enjoyment of sadism, hurting a lady in certain ways is pleasurable to a degree but with violence against the men that have wronged me, there’s no pleasure, there’s madness, a beast and what he wants, I cannot speak, I mean honestly.

Now I’m not having sex with the ladies, and I’m forbidden to harm the “gentlemen” (those bastards) so no wonder the beast is at the gates, and the rage is overflowing, and that’s making me even madder because I’m being told to “be myself” again. Yes, they would make me a vagrant with no place, less verbose in my language, the victim. Not sounding very sexy I know and yes I’m repeating myself, but it’s one of the reasons I’m in the lifestyle, to make someone feel as though they have a purpose and at the same time powerless, and to have a peek at the real them. Death is but a parody of life, I can get the thrill in my rage against a bully but what is the opposite of it, calm, clarity, contentment but that requires containment.

Graves can do that, so can a girl’s clothes if you tie her up in them, some might even put their faith in God but I’ve got nothing but Rage and Pain, and the thing about that is, pain can be shared and can be good in some ways. When you ignite that hurt though; when you make someone fear and hate, you can’t control them, and for damn sure you’re not in control of yourself, I must manage the beast, And Find Will’s Remote.

I Will Have No Fear