Tuesday, October 30, 2018

Episode 121 ~Will, I Never, Again~

Dear Future Wife,
How To Make One Million Dollars, I suppose I’ll start by never buying drinks for myself, saves a few dollars but if I were to believe the media, the marketplace, and “mates” women do nothing but drink, and then there’s you maybe? Yeah, I can’t hold my liquor, I don’t like coffee, and cigarettes are disgusting, of course, I’ve never smoked… a “cigarette” but I will never, thanks to my father, strangely enough, doesn’t get enough credit.

How I’ll never have children that are afraid of me, hell I see that with my first born, granddad didn’t spoil him bunches and didn’t think much of me either or my mother for that matter. You’ve undoubtedly noticed that’s why I like to maintain control, mostly myself but probably why I’m so protective of you, the kids, our home because I will never lose control as he did, the man he became because of his rage. You wonder why we don’t necessarily visit my side of the family and that’s a conversation for another time, but I will never have their sort of past for us, and here I sit wanting the option of a lot of money, making up for everything; who am I to complain, I benefited.

Only I know I will never let money become more important than love. Indeed it could never match, I’ve worked forever and a day but with all those hours the twenty seconds it took to talk to you the first time… I can guarantee I will never be going through that again, and now suddenly I think that’s an insult, I’ve talked to plenty of women, and while I’ll never be a man of faith when I met you, I can’t explain it. God, fate, somehow, someway I found you, and I can’t ever imagine feeling that again, never, about anything else. Well okay, the first time I held Triple B; when I saw our two-legged kids. When I was ready to cut a guy to protect myself, it never gets easier to say I love myself but loving you, that’s as easy as breathing.

How you can love the man I am, and I think I’ve changed from the guy I was but you’ve never loved another like me, and I will never want another like you, I choose you always and forever. There’s no comparing the things I will never do to the things I’ve done; the two of us together, never say never, love will never stop being so confusing am I right? Will, I Never, Again.

I Will Have No Fear