Lesson 155 ~So What’s Your Beef~

Burning the house down, making myself sick, and looking at the novel I just wrote, so many enemies or is it just me, I mean hello, is seven different personality or idea posts enough and truthfully one more about me. So What’s Your Beef

Sunday, December 3, 2017

Lesson 155 ~So What’s Your Beef~

To Will:
No Fear, I mean don’t have a cow man, so you finished one journey, and now you don’t know what to do with yourself, so in theory, it’s just another day. It wasn’t last week, but this week perhaps you took the challenge of no more chicken in your diet; ok, there is still some in the fridge, but that wasn’t by your hand, thank goodness for mothers.

Why don’t we define a goal, as I have stated on numerous occasions, both to “Indiana Gone,” and “Okay” it seems that everything you or I might want is impossible, immoral, illegal, and insane. I can’t tell you something like maybe you should lay off choking the chicken… two weeks in, no wonder you feel so penned up, and on the other side of the coin, you’re falling back into your laziness. Sure you just accomplished something major, you wrote a damn book and as with previous titles you’re giving into depression about what happens next again, “Some Assembly Required”?

As much as you may beef with the future and the end of the day, you must admit that you still have no idea what’s going to happen, despite experience. Maybe that’s what you should do, fight the real enemy as somewhat famous once said and that enemy lies right in front of you. Another way of saying I hate myself and other people, but having these three enemies, past, present, and future is no way to victory, and you should be basking in it.

So should I tell you what you’re going to do tomorrow, am I a psychic, the government, a dream interpreter as a manager at work thought I was… the future is always there but what about today? You wrote 50,000 words in the month that is worst for a retail employee so today let’s do something where you’ll see results.

Today your goal is to go and beat your meat; no, I don’t mean with that English tart you’ve been fantasizing about, more the Wal-Mart variety because don’t you miss having tacos? If you’re so scared about the man you will face tomorrow, why not strengthen the man you are today; Am I sure there is a rule in there someplace possibly? If you should die well then, you get your enemy one way or the other, and don’t go on WebMD, too late already, *sigh* honestly Will, So What’s Your Beef.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 153 ~The Horror, Horniness, Helplessness~

Is it just me or has this room quieted somewhat without all the frustrated breaths, the echoes of the keys dying, earlier since I’m not working all night, my characters falling silent with their stories told? The Horror, Horniness, Helplessness

Friday, December 1, 2017

Lesson 153 ~The Horror, Horniness, Helplessness~

Hey Lady Sophia,
No Fear, until next month but even now I’m sort of at that part in the movie when, I’m in the woods lost, the car won’t start, the realization that the monster is coming. First I should off by saying and not that I’ve been crowing about it or anything but I’m a NaNoWriMo winner, finished on the 29th, 50,000 words of complete and utter… well, you know what I want to say, ignorance, garbage, idiocy, etc.

What the holy hell was I thinking, and now that it’s over now I’m just imagining what I’m supposed to be feeling now and again my creativity is failing me. In a way it sort of parallel’s my book, the guy is lost somewhere in the bowels of Hell, but unlike me he at least has somebody coming after him, a family he has never seen, but they are there. When I’m not obsessing over that, it’s the fact that I may never catch up with the life I upped and abandoned, not that it was truly doing me any favors honestly but it’s mine.

Mine just like this story one big pile of shit, and if anything, I need to be gearing up for January, but I just want to fall, fuck, or fear every single thing. Excuse my Sesame Street antics; I’m just trying to stay awake or keep from breaking down, both are viable options. At least I’m not in bed at the moment, and I would say that’s a miracle but how does one define a miracle. Maybe the question is how does one define the impossible because last week didn’t I think being here, surviving, winning, completing, NaNoWriMo, was beyond me, it’s all about me.

That’s it isn’t it, nobody else cares, and this story is as doomed as that story about turkeys taking over the world or for “For Love of Truth,” what about “Some Assembly Required” 120,000 words and 50,000 words is what I considered a challenge? Is that it, why I can’t get excited about what I’ve done now, and I just being me, perhaps I truly fear the light, am I trying to get some actual philosophical basis to my crappy sexual romp, that can’t be.

I could have just needed a new project like Andy Dufresne, but sometimes it’s the little dog at my feet. I keep telling him to wait for me, and I’ll give us both a real life, a real home but all I have to offer is writing and when I look at my latest work *sigh* The Horror, Horniness, Helplessness.

I Will Have No Fear