Sunday, June 17, 2018

Lesson 351 ~You’re A Leg Man~

To Will:
Can You Love Me Again, probably not when you’re always running from your past, excuse me did I say running, more like walking, shuffling, crawling, cuddling with the dog until he needs something which is the only way you get moving. No wonder you would stand your ground against the dead because most of them shuffle faster than you do but the point is you’re moving forward you only feel it isn’t fast enough and I can agree.

If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”
Martin Luther King Jr. 1929 ― 1968

It occurs to me that you need a lesson on what your legs are good for, what your breathing means to you, and all the hours of the day you waste, I swear I’m going to sound like one of those motivational speeches you’re fond of nowadays. All that’s holding you back is you. Don’t you understand that; the day before finding out about your Al Bundy shift you couldn’t move and last night seeing the schedule is being redone you almost jumped for joy. Your legs have one purpose, and that’s to get you where you want to go, and I know they feel itchy, like a hundred ant bites… what happened there but your legs brought you to the table so what is an accomplishment, six impossible things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 92** No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed (Day 99** No Fap)
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
Failed
3. I Will Not Get Fired
Completed
4. I Will Complete 100% Of The Prophet By Celia Aaron
Completed
5. I Will Post A Review For “The Maiden” By Celia Aaron
Completed
6. I Will “Select” One Hundred Poems “The Bedroom Soapbox”
Completed

Your son has four legs, and it’s about time you catch up to him, being the one thing I failed last week, talk about being ashamed, from locking him out of my bedroom to buying the wrong Dentastixs and not wanting to chase all over and now covering half of one in peanut butter… defeats the purpose. What about when it comes to girls, sure you want some girl to spread her legs for you, and yet you’re not ready to do all the running that is required, and it seems to me that maybe, pretty much always means no, so don’t be a “Flake.” Sex is the easy and so much fun, but you must focus on putting one foot in front of the other, and six impossible things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 99** No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Not Get Fired
4. I Will Complete 75% Of Psychopath’s Prey by V.F. Mason
5. I Will Post A Review For “The Prophet” By Celia Aaron
6. I Will “Edit” One Hundred Poems “The Bedroom Soapbox”

“Legs are for men’s pleasure; breasts are for babies.” (Lib McGovern) Pat Frank, Alas, Babylon

Speaking of easy this stuff is easy you want to know what’s hard, pick up your left foot, forward, put it down, pick up your right foot, repeat, put it down, and I don’t care how often you have to remind yourself of this but do it. People say you’re always running at work and do you know why, FUCK FEAR, you run because you don’t belong there, you run because your dog needs you, run because there is some unfuckable goddess who’s been waiting for you, or someone “easy.”

Get out of your head, stop staring at breasts on the internet, and move, don’t give up, don’t ever give up, because you can be the type of man you want to be, but for now You’re A Leg Man.

Run Boy Run by Woodkid

I Will Have No Fear