Magic, Day Job, Al Bundy, Fear, Words, Humanity, Desperation, Friendship, Vices, Faith, Therapy, Lesson, Journal, Lady Lu, Will Bradford Jr.
Saturday, June 16, 2018
Lesson 350 ~A Black Magic Worry~
Hey Lady Lu,
Can You Love Me Again, if this was Hell and you were a goddess I would say no… do you see what happens when you get the answers you seek, and though this isn’t Hell per se and I like to think of you as only a girl, you’re getting pretty close. Two more worries but maybe that’s the wrong word, the right one as always is Fear and Lady Luna I am afraid of what’s next.
With everything that has happened this week the fact that I have lost my faith in magic should “worry” me more or at least I thought I had until last night, I made not have faith in God but how often have I found a friend in Satan. I said to “Okay” if I could know anything it would be the time of my death and even now that seems considerably better than what I do know; “Cherry” did a Tarot Reading and said that a change was coming in my job. A horrible shift though she didn’t know all that and I already feel stupid for how I’m taking this, but I am idiotic regardless, come not this week but the next, I’m Al Bundy, I’m Alone With Doggie.
Two full days of working in the Shoe Department, now my anxiety nearly got the best of me and like when Negan was hiding from the dead I almost “rubbed one out” so I could calm down. Sex or masturbation always helps me sleep, mindless violence revs me up, drugs can keep me grounded, and pain; I’m no cutter, but actual kicking and punching inanimate objects brings me focus. There’s also the idea of burying this great fear under an avalanche of worry, all the work that I need to do, losing another friend on Facebook, I don’t think “Psychopath’s Prey” is helping with that and what about that photo of “Eileen Kelly” almost like finding “Little Lupe” once again.
If I had never got that Tarot Reading what would I think today, would I blame my stupidity in making my schedule, perhaps I have some enemy I don’t know about, you know I have to protect my “Energy” or is it my time for this shit? Talk about motivation, because other than my dog sadly I think I’ve had a somewhat decent week but today I have to “Hold On,” A Black Magic Worry.
I Will Have No Fear