Close your eyes, shut your mouth, and if you’re lucky it will go away; one of my motivations says that pain is temporary, another says that your greatest fear may come true, another says I’m going to make it. “Man, You’re Lining Will.”
Thursday, February 28, 2019
Episode 242 ~Man, You’re Lining Will~
WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED
Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, I would say become the villain, but I’ve done that. According to God, the gods, or goddesses. I still feel like Prometheus strapped to the rock. I know where my liver is because of a suicide attempt, but this is more my penis or heart.
I don’t even understand why I put up the warning. The worse this will be; only the fact that I’ll say penis and that I’m a sadist, so pain gets me off or it did. Another point, that I can’t stand the suffering of people I loathe (like myself). Better to end enemies fast but I’m learning I can’t stand others pain. Today however it’s more like the Eagle is eating my privates than my heart. Not that I don’t feel it, but it could be worse. I could have “The Blues” in a wholly different manner, but I don’t feel anything but complete disgust in myself. I suppose my belly truly is feeling the brunt of this abuse. I am trapped between a rock and something quite hard, again penis and my rib-cage, failing me.
I think I’m starting to understand why I sleep so much. Because I can’t stand torturing myself be it my latest desire or looking in the mirror. I see precisely what everyone else sees. At the Day Job and with my writing; I wish, I work my fingers to the bone. Aren’t I always preaching about idle hands or should I say idol, I was at the store today staring at the PS4 again. Yesterday I also brought up something in one of my reasons for finding “The Line,” and you know what it is? My eyes, they see, the brain interprets and lock the door. Swallow the key because once the idea comes back to the eyes, everything’s trouble.
Close your eyes, your mouth, the distance between you and the covers. Isn’t it ironic that like alcohol, the bed is both the cause of and the solution too most of my problems these past few days? When you attempt to cross those lines, they only become gigantic. Certain “assets” are such when you see them with eyes wide open? The smallest words carry the gravest consequences and my body; everything hurts. The thing is, as the exact shape of the heart or any person’s plumbing, you can’t trace it (no offense to Fleshlight). As I have said, it is becoming way too easy for me to offend people. I have crossed plenty of lines. Over and over, its become pathetic, so the truth is; Man, You’re Lining Will
I Will Have No Fear