Episode 242 ~Man, You’re Lining Will~

Close your eyes, shut your mouth, and if you’re lucky it will go away; one of my motivations says that pain is temporary, another says that your greatest fear may come true, another says I’m going to make it. “Man, You’re Lining Will.”

Thursday, February 28, 2019

Episode 242 ~Man, You’re Lining Will~


Come In Dirty Diana,

How To Make One Million Dollars, I would say become the villain, but I’ve done that. According to God, the gods, or goddesses. I still feel like Prometheus strapped to the rock. I know where my liver is because of a suicide attempt, but this is more my penis or heart.

I don’t even understand why I put up the warning. The worse this will be; only the fact that I’ll say penis and that I’m a sadist, so pain gets me off or it did. Another point, that I can’t stand the suffering of people I loathe (like myself). Better to end enemies fast but I’m learning I can’t stand others pain. Today however it’s more like the Eagle is eating my privates than my heart. Not that I don’t feel it, but it could be worse. I could have “The Blues” in a wholly different manner, but I don’t feel anything but complete disgust in myself. I suppose my belly truly is feeling the brunt of this abuse. I am trapped between a rock and something quite hard, again penis and my rib-cage, failing me.

I think I’m starting to understand why I sleep so much. Because I can’t stand torturing myself be it my latest desire or looking in the mirror. I see precisely what everyone else sees. At the Day Job and with my writing; I wish, I work my fingers to the bone. Aren’t I always preaching about idle hands or should I say idol, I was at the store today staring at the PS4 again. Yesterday I also brought up something in one of my reasons for finding “The Line,” and you know what it is? My eyes, they see, the brain interprets and lock the door. Swallow the key because once the idea comes back to the eyes, everything’s trouble.

Close your eyes, your mouth, the distance between you and the covers. Isn’t it ironic that like alcohol, the bed is both the cause of and the solution too most of my problems these past few days? When you attempt to cross those lines, they only become gigantic. Certain “assets” are such when you see them with eyes wide open? The smallest words carry the gravest consequences and my body; everything hurts. The thing is, as the exact shape of the heart or any person’s plumbing, you can’t trace it (no offense to Fleshlight). As I have said, it is becoming way too easy for me to offend people. I have crossed plenty of lines. Over and over, its become pathetic, so the truth is; Man, You’re Lining Will

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 240 ~Will Becomes A Philosopher~

I read two types of books, boy loves the girl, or a man who loves life, put them together you get a fairytale and yet I’m no prince, beasts, or lovable who knows what but if I read enough, study, dare to ask. Will Becomes A Philosopher

Tuesday, February 26, 2019

Episode 240 ~Will Becomes A Philosopher~

Dear Future Wife,
How To Make One Million Dollars, become a mind reader or “choose” to be Gay. I know, not funny, that’s probably why I thought about Geology rather than Philosophy. Neither one pays well but judging by the rock on your finger or the fact that we’re here.

Any boy that grows up to be a man and marries his dream girl. Well, men are on a constant mission to figure women out, to become mind readers. Before I met you I knew what I wanted to convey, I wooed, I warned, I won, but for most women, I inspired one emotion… FEAR. Maybe I give myself too much credit perhaps it was disgust. Still, while I ponder the big questions. The greatest one in my life has to be why you STAY with me as I’m not good at a one-night stand.

One of my motivations says that Bill Gates talked about superpowers. They asked if he could have one he would want to read books faster. Now I have dreamed of being of being a superhero too, not Superman but Your Man… did I mention I’m not good with talking? Anyway, while I was at work, I think the best surrounded by the undead. So that got me to wondering the concept that if I had a superpower, I’d want super speed. My Love, am I that afraid of you, wanting to get back to you. Wanting to ask “God” or whatever a million times to please Let My Baby STAY.

If I’m going to be on my knees anyway, I might want to rethink my stance on time travel. How I owe so many apologies, and I don’t even understand what I did wrong. I don’t know how Goofy got man status, and Pluto didn’t either. So full of questions aren’t I but always the same. How Lovestoned am I, hardheaded, and hard of hearing as my heart skips a beat at your answer. Yes, you’ll STAY With Me Tonight.

How I worship you my goddess or do I stand for my woman. My queen, mother of our dragons or whatever else they may be in this world and no one else’s. How about do Christians stand or kneel for their flag? All I know is I love you baby girl, I’ll pray for you, fight, and die, to protect you. B III, the dragons, walkers, future Sith Lords forever; STAY a little bit longer.

Forever might be how long it takes me to get it, so I guess it’s a good thing; one of us is a talker while I sit here. Like Socrates, Plato, or Aristotle. Were any of them married? I also lack Rumi’s mind. Only if I Love You was hard enough for me, how trying the words I Will Stay must be as no girl has; Will Becomes A Philosopher.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 233 ~Will Becomes A Geologist~

I’ve never been one for shiny rocks, I find life hard enough, and if I ever publish a book I want so much cold hard cash, and as I heard on an episode of “Daria” money can make anyone beautiful, but so can Love On The Rocks. Will Becomes A Geologist.

Tuesday, February 19, 2019

Episode 233 ~Will Becomes A Geologist~

Dear Future Wife,
How To Make One Million Dollars, find a way for pets to live forever. Make phones hard enough we’ll drop them anywhere. Also when you hold hands with someone, you’ll never get separated in a zombie apocalypse.

I think to call you “my post-apocalyptic zombie survival fantasy.” You know “George Romero” is a higher compliment than calling you, my wife. Okay, aren’t I glad I bought that new case for my phone? Yes, I can be plenty enough hardheaded. Only how can I not be. The first eighteen years of the lives we lead are devoted to learning things we are meant to keep. Let the kids come to me for homework help sigh talk about finding purpose. Is that why I married young. I was in my thirties; you were in your twenties, where did you dig up that fossil, which beats what people usually say.

They tend to put you on some pedestal, not knowing I wanted to be the man that built it as though I were Pygmalion. Believing you would be my Galatea. Yeah, I should again work on my compliments. Still, while I am always one for classics and tradition, Beautiful, well I need more words. I’ll also count this as one more reason I’m a writer, and you know I write every day, and these words appear in hardcover books. How about on so many tablets and Gulp phones, they rest on so many shelves. My Love, I wouldn’t know the first thing about building a house, but I know cold hard cash gets a lot done. My wife, lover your warmth our house becomes a home if the hardheaded kids take a seat like ever.

They must take after me a lot only; I hope that love finds them quickly. With us my love and especially B III, how long did he dig to find love in me? One paw print on the ground and when he fell, still learning to walk. Talk about twenty seconds of insane courage. How it took me so long to grow into the man “God” meant for you. Old habits baby girl I was raised in the church, dumb as a rock but stories like Adam’s Rib. That a man needed a flaw, an imperfection, brokenness to know a woman, Heaven’s Light, I know I found it in you, I found it in you. My Candy Rain, classics sigh. Much like my ideas for books, like The Logos Girls, is writing a real job, geology a real science, The Way You Make Me Feel? It’s hard to love me I know. Love is a lot of things, but I’m yours, husband, writer; if I was a sculptor… well then again, Will Becomes A Geologist.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 206 ~All Greek To Will~

Too many talking heads, too many voices, and so many versions of what happened today, not that I’m giving a detailed explanation because I would speak more gibberish and hell this isn’t Dirty Diana’s day but not mine either, “All Greek To Will.”

Wednesday, January 23, 2019

Episode 206 ~All Greek To Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, work for somebody else and eventually they’ll get it, lie and make what you can or let someone play stupid, you know what they say about a fool and his money and my head has been everywhere from Jenna Foxx to the day job, and why not dream of Amandla Stenberg.

The story of my life Inspector Echo because I honestly don’t want to talk about the day I had at work, and of course I could tell about fear but why not be an ARGonaut or probably more Odysseus, being lost, facing great Scylla, or any hydra for that matter. Anyway I usually talk about my sins the first being I continue to go to the day job, and I don’t understand anything, and so if my fear is the heart of the monster, the heads are ANXIETY, REGRET, and GUILT. Anxiety is what I’m feeling the most of now, even alone in this room I know there are eyes on me, my manager watching me stumbling around like a zombie on the camera back at the store, my phone number spam central, one more Facebook friend down who probably said something like “Fuck That Guy” yes Inspector Echo, LANGUAGE.

My third sin is nursing regret, I swear I don’t want to be at the day job but who does and yet I will continue to feel regret for letting the manager down, what the Hell right, hating myself for not doing enough to hurt myself, like something out of Dogma. If that isn’t enough what about what I’m doing right now, more like who but I’m keeping it in my pants, but Odysseus lost six sailors, so six girls are making me lose control:

  1. College Princess Ava Exploited “ExCoGi”
  2. Jenna Foxx “My Sister’s Hot Friend” “I Don’t Believe You”
  3. Sabrina Nichole
  4. Melody Parker “Bipartisan Bonage
  5. The MILF Model
  6. Amandla Stenberg “The Darkest Minds”

Now comes the guilt, if I was talking about the day job, the fourth sin, I lied, I was stupid, and as always I wasted time, and you know next to overwhelming terror yes let’s give the monster so many heads, again Anxiety, Regret, Guilt, Stupidity, Time. My fifth sin is that I know so well I can do so much worse, I’m burning, hated, horny, and huffing and puffing with my rage at myself because if there are not more horrific sins, there is such glory to be found. Six is a combination of things, my six impossible things that aren’t getting done, how about what I think about those six women, I quote Shakespeare to one today and at the same time called her a whore (yes my dirty mouth) and these hands.

Not using my greatest weapons to save myself, hell I might as well drown be it tears, sweat, some other bodily fluid because I’m no hero, I don’t understand people or myself, and for that I’m sorry; this day and age All Greek To Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Tail, Tale, Tell

People don’t follow the heroes, they come to you, same as the villains, and I’m done following pretty girls of all different hair varieties and a pox on 99% of politicians. Tail, Tale, Tell, maybe, I’m still thinking about my anxiety maybe.

If it wasn’t Peter, playboy, potion
to the tune of number nine or Mambo No. 5
a cape in the sun
or that slow march towards oblivion
which is everywhere or chasing some tail
Wherever men choose to wallow
and fields must be kept fallow

for years under the notion
that in or to survive
They must run
jump or swim the Stygian
Like a hero in some fairytale
you expect for me to swallow
asking why can’t I be Apollo

riding in slow motion.
I’m going to see if I’m really alive
because you won’t be the one
So don’t be forgiving then
Even if there is no one to tell
The words may sound hollow
but never again will I follow


Copyright © 2017, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.