Worse advice I’ve ever received, be yourself, the best advice is the same, and I haven’t erased such speeches from my motivations yet. People don’t want me to be myself, they want me to be a particular version, and so I try. Will To Be Different
Wednesday, April 8, 2020
Log 282 ~Will To Be Different~
Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. Unless I invested in the WWE or my porno fixation. How about I buy-in with that drug Trump’s hocking? For now, the only number I’m “obsessed” with is how long I’ve kept it in my pants. Well’s there an App, of course, but a friend introduced me to a much better one. I still hate Math, but numbers, time, word counts, lists make me feel better. So as per usual, anything that makes me feel good is wrong or at least different, so here we go.
Inspector Echo, you know that gun I just bought that’s freaking me out? To quote the movie Snowpiercer (2013), “They’ve got no bullets!” Now it’s not like the store was out entirely, but I lacked the courage to pick some or gasps ask. I wish I could tell you that’s the only reason, I haven’t been sleeping, I did order some Saturday night though. Why I’m not sleeping, well Girls, Girls, Girls. From Whitney Wright to Lily Bowman, Little Lupe, the list goes on. I’m amazed I’ve lasted at present (8 days, 21 hr, 57 min, and 15 sec). I’ve mentioned FEAR, or let’s say general embarrassment, and you know what I’ve been harping over. It’s that lady that was yelling at me because I have to grow accustomed to the Coronavirus (COVID-19) world. Even in a blooming apocalypse, I continue to be the odd man out; give me zombies.
Well, even if the universe did, would I be upset that I was alive instead of dead? I would go get myself bitten because I don’t like how the Walkers are looking at me. I’m not scared of getting sick, I fear not having a mask and looking out of place. How messed up is that? Not more than writing a book that no one will ever read. I’ve written 10,000 more words for The Eve of Cherry, and not one of them will be published. Only I keep on writing about a wide arrange of girls I’m not with. My hands aren’t in my pants, so isn’t that a win. Win William Bridgman, one of my protagonists or antagonists, I’m not sure. It’s like trying to count up how many “adult” scenes I’ve written out. How many people side with sex over some murders?
I’m sorry, Inspector Echo, such fears Will To Be Different.
I Will Have No Fear