Wednesday, February 21, 2018
Lesson 235 ~Skeletons In The Closet~
“I said I’m sorry mama!
I never meant to hurt you!
I never meant to make you cry, but tonight
I’m cleaning out my closet.”
Eminem, Cleaning Out My Closet
Forgive Me Echo,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, though why do I get the feeling I used this theme before, in any case, I have plenty of sins this week. Maybe, for the most part, it’s “Minority Report” things I will do, things I have done but nothing in the present moment, another blessing of being alone, you can’t hurt anybody at all but yourself.
Last night, for example, I discovered I’m haunted still from the sins of my past, but I gave that crime a name, and even now I won’t do it again but did it not take courage to do it at all? To hope gives one courage or it can drive you mad, like Emeric Marceaux, but his hope brings high reward as he got the girl in the end, and he avoided looking like a pervert or with all his wealth he was allowed to be, but he wasn’t. At least I think so honestly.
Tony Montana talks about money, power, and then the woman, I’ve skipped the second step because I don’t have enough money for the first. I told a friend once who is perpetually naked because she complains she has nothing to wear, that I thought women liked pretty clothes. Funny how that works, when you have the girl they want clothes, but if you find beautiful things before getting the woman, then you’re creepy, sad, skeevy. Same old sin I suppose that I have to get out, that I have to purge, but there has been too much time on my hands, amongst other things also.
“If she only knew how many size-seven replacements I’ve bought her. The whole damn closet behind me is filled, not just with shoes, but clothes and bags and… Jesus, I sound like a psychopath, even in my head. I’m not even a shopper. Fucking hate it.” Pam Godwin, Dark Notes
There’s not just one reason to watch porn; I could be like any other guy, but no. I’m the one looking up what an actress wears, I’m the one buying things and putting them in my closet awaiting her arrival, and I might as well be one of those guys buying a “RealDoll” or a Fleshlight. Aren’t there worst things to hide in the closet, guns, drugs, real skeletons, but no just pretty clothes and sex toys, and “if I were a rich man, Yubby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum” no worries there.
You might think that would worry me though, my sexuality, my fashion sense, the last time I was trying to take some girl’s clothes off rather than put them on her, but I’m sorry it doesn’t. I’m sorry I don’t get out more, I’m sorry I would instead air some clean laundry because I’m still sitting in my dirty laundry, I’ll probably be sorry if anybody sees all of this but Skeletons In The Closet.
I Will Have No Fear