Gospel 187 ~Panic Does Not Serve You~

The first Monday of the new year. Same job, redundant emotions. And with my “Republican Tendencies” leftover feelings of hate for humankind. It took me a while to calm down after my cray day. Good thing I started this Sunday. Panic Does Not Serve You

Monday, January 04, 2021

Gospel 187 ~Panic Does Not Serve You~

Hundred And Sixty-Ninth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and in other things, I wish I knew. How about being scared to death. I’m terrified, now seeing how I’m coming on or off (with time) another lousy shift. It’s still Sunday, but speaking to Lady Lu, I wanted to take my son to the vet. As I told the Man in the Mirror, it was a night of puppy cries and puke in my bed. He’s had some good hours, no vomit, no cries. Making up for lost time. It seems Madam Justice this year has started off with confessions and another. I saved some money.

Do you remember when I was pissed at Serra Hyundai about wanting another $500? Hell, I still am, but as I was driving away after saying no, I was frightened. Spent the whole ride listening to “Sixteen Tons,” “Working in a Coal Mine,” and “We Will Go Home” for real. Speaking of which, the “Song of Exile.”It’s at the forefront of my mind whenever I head to the Day Job. I carry a plastic bag and a Sprite in my backpack. Yes, I might puke when I get out of the car to start the day. Even now, I’m shaking knowing the coming week. Right this second, I panicked when a friend was a bit upset with me about my views on Trump. I know Madam Justice, it didn’t take long, and here we are, day three or four into the brand New Year SIGH.

Speaking of “Republican Tendencies,” why is it again that I feel that money will solve my problems. Because I would be “Takin’ Care of Business.” I hear my first playlist this year. It doesn’t change the fact with the right amount of money, well who knows, hmm. I do. Last night while fighting addiction, I thought, would “Capital A” forgive me for wanting? Well, what a boy wants. With enough, I would make Target, Serra Hyundai, and the “Day Job” AHEM “quake with fear” or panic. Maybe funding other businesses. How about my panic? What’s the cure there? Again something I can’s share and can’t do anymore but twenty minutes, where am I, in bed. There’s also my Anger and Rage. Please don’t make me quote Yoda. Nowadays, I’m focused on how old I am.

Time is on my side, well no, so yeah, yikes… Panic Does Not Serve You.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 180 ~Don’t Be Fated To Lies~

I’m sensing a pattern when it comes to my body these rules. Today is more like what I allow into my mind, heart, and soul. I do plenty to protect my eyes, and I always have my earphones in, and why is that. “Don’t Be Fated To Lies,” I can’t hear you.

Monday, December 28, 2020

Gospel 180 ~Don’t Be Fated To Lies~

Hundred And Sixty-Eighth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that’s not a lie. In a way, I look at it as having less than $20.00 in the bank. The money is there, only I can’t access it yet. I could tell you what’s in my closet right now. Let’s say that I’m missing a few essential parts; that’s all, ha. However, I have never been one for the philosophy of AHEM, “Fake it till you make it.” On the other side of the coin, why believe that I’m doomed when it comes to going to work? Worse is walking around like Faith Seed. “I know you’ve heard stories about me.”

As always (sigh), I want to apologize for being so down, but that’s the thing. The new year is almost here, and for right now, there’s no story to tell. Now I could say that’s because of time-travel. It’s still the 27th… this week will be hard. My parents didn’t tell stories. To be fair, I would choose nothingness over the things they say at the Day Job. Say it with me, Madam Justice “Humiliations Galore.” How many fights have I had with one of my managers “silently.” Will didn’t say that. Now he wishes you would shut the fuck-up. My little Dæmon sits here without a word, yet I know I could be a better dad. So what I carry him downstairs. I pay for his heart medication, and he convinced me to give him hot dogs along with treats. He sleeps in my bed nightly. Yeah, I’m a pretty crappy father, aren’t I?

I won’t lie to you, Madam Justice. “Lies of Omission?” Okay, yes, but the things that make me feel Muy Bueno, like a million bucks or even blissful. Remind me to shop Amazon for a new outfit. Anyway, those things people say are BAD. Those people, I believe, are liars. At least that’s what I want to speak. With my OLDS, I want to say that I do exist. They would fire back, “yeah, your name is on these bills.” I sound like an ungrateful bastard, don’t I? Pardon my French this afternoon. More importantly, pardon their lies about me. I should now have this conversation with the man in the mirror. His lies are the hardest because he goes out and listens to everyone. The Devil Is A Lie. Don’t Be Fated To Lies.

I Will Have No Fear