Maybe I’m dehydrated. Braxton got like that once, a little dog like that walking in the southern heat? My diet could use a change; I’m living off Walmart wings and Subway. Grateful I have a car, but nobody is riding shotgun. “Braxton In The Mercedes”
Tuesday, March 30, 2021
Gospel 272 ~Braxton In The Mercedes~
Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but as the song goes, Money “Can’t Buy Me Love.” Of course, the jury’s still out.
The businesses I’m in… Hell, I know more than most. Did I ever tell you that when I was young, I wanted to be a veterinarian? How about the fact that Braxton was a gift and not to me but my sister? He wasn’t even the first dog I ever watched die; a puppy’s blood. People can be so STUPID, My Love. Myself included, or so I’ve been thinking since… well, you know when. I took Braxton’s love for granted, and now yours, the children’s, I keep none for myself. It all comes back to me, or as I keep saying, “A Man Provides.” There’s plenty of men that do that, and how little do they know about love. My father, I hate the bastard.
Still, he’s the one that bought Braxton. As Shakespeare wrote, “My only love sprung from my only hate!” My father, um accused me of murder. As I stood in the parking lot that day delivering the news that my little B III had passed. But it wasn’t the accusation, though. What do I mean by accusation? It is what it is. B is gone because of me. You say that’s me hating myself, and I think, that’s the whole point, well two? Understand the first is easiest to bear as I watch you and the children, our family, what remains of us, All Of Me. Always and forever, “even if I come back, even if I die,” you’ll want for nothing. But there’s my love.
You want that back, Baby Girl. I love you and our family, but do you know how many times my father said that to me. How many times did I say it to Braxton daily?
This brings me to my dream last night. I dreamt I was Edmond Dantes, and you were my Mercedes. You asked me did I suffer, and no, I was not in the Chateau d’If. It was with Braxton’s death. I begged you, pleaded with you not to rob me of my hate as Edmond had. I watched you, my father, take my weapons. It wasn’t any love but an arsenal leaving me with nothing; my second point. My father taught me I deserved neither love nor hate because I’m nothing.
Before you, I had always been a fool. I became a best friend, a father. Now I may lose it all. I have lost it all, but no, you’re still here, but I see the man in the mirror these days. I want to take him away from you. Braxton wouldn’t have that, but no love, no hate. What’s left? In my dream, it was my old car. Braxton didn’t die in a car, but I was buried alive in salt inside after losing everything.
It was only a dream because you’re here, but I’m not… Braxton In The Mercedes
BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,