Every little bit of silence, I feel hope, funny I didn’t mention how my phone has scared me with every single sound and was that only last week, and now I need more noises to terrify me 24/7? The Will Is Silence, I hope.
Saturday, February 01, 2020
Log 215 ~The Will Is Silence~
Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I know why people pay so much for silence. It’s always my fault, you know, everything. Now Lady Lu, that’s some noise. The voice inside my head. And not the hum that’s coming through loud and clear now that I’ve cut the fan off. You know how often I talk about gratitude, the one point all my motivations agree on; it never fails. I should have been grateful for the ants last year because even that beats the constant humming. Had I kept my work ethic to see Alice Little, I would have more than enough money to not worry about the problem I’m facing.
A horse, how about my kingdom for a ladder? While I’m speaking on standing tall, I should work on growing a spine. Well, I did get a haircut, but I hesitated at the post office. I wouldn’t honk at the person at the drive-thru, and instead, I was going around. My biggest sin of all? I didn’t call back the electrician on this humming, and why? I’m afraid Lady Lu, of being in the way. The sun keeps rising, the world keeps spinning, and I don’t want to bother anyone. Today I bought a stethoscope trying to hear through the walls. Tomorrow I might buy a ladder so I can get to the roof myself. I’m not suicidal, but I would indeed kill myself before asking for help. Even dying, somebody would have to go around me, and so like I said yesterday, I’m Alive.
How about my poor dæmon, he must be going crazy with the noise, but he stays cuddling me wanting to help. He’s getting too old for all the foolishness though he still barks from time to time. My ear still hurts, and I ran over my big toe with the garbage can trying to make it to the roof. I could have fried myself with all of those switches trying to kill the noise. My greatest wish is for silence, especially now, one more day where I’m not reading. I’m still looking towards my future, so will the next two days come around, and I will be laughing about this problem? What about next Saturday, if I’m not crazy by then or my kid goes all Children of the Corn.
Somehow, One Day, only a second The Will Is Silence.
I Will Have No Fear