Saturday, September 1, 2018

Episode 062 ~A Willing Twenty-Four Hours~

Hey Lady Lu,
Give Me One Reason not to think about this or that, have you noticed that the more you try to ignore a particular subject, the more it comes up, sort of like air, you don’t think about it, but I’m sure everybody has had a moment where they needed to catch it. If they didn’t, are they living or surviving, though for me it usually comes as a moment of anxiety, how I *sigh* plenty in my writing and I saw something pretty interesting on Instagram today.

Today, I’m more awake and not surprisingly lazier but “trying” not to think about things such as porn, takes plenty out of me but I haven’t taken any naps…am I coming out of my Depression maybe? Why Depression, well we’ll get to that but my little boy is a pain, and it’s hard to stay mad at him, I’m so used to having him around and then to send him away to time out, hurts me more than you, no my “father” found joy in my pain. Speaking of pain I’ve also gotten into buying more books, should I be thinking about how much I failed this week, including reading and I don’t have to, if I knuckle down and get to work right now…

Yeah, the story of my life which leads me to the huge thing I don’t want to think about that starts with the letter D, no not that, and yeah Depression but “The Day” is coming up soon, the worse day of my life. Tell me Lady Luna what could be worse than that, DEATH ha when you think of the odds of any one human being and no I am not a man of faith but neither am I a man of science or anything. Yes, I know words, and that’s what my life should be, hell what my life is; not that they have brought me any such thing as I look over my keywords for twenty-four hours.

One more failure as I didn’t hide ‘the Day” from people deep enough and now I have to look forward to disappointment, disgust, Dad and plenty more D words except the one that’s driving me crazy. Didn’t do me any favors in high school and I had so many names that Willie was only one more, and here I am, one more day down, closer to “The Day” and my Lady Lu how I have wasted A Willing Twenty-four Hours.

I Will Have No Fear