Gospel 063 ~When Will Cleans House~

I was a “Hero,” before and this week, I’m only the janitor of the house, and while I wish it was for a good cause. Nah, my Old Man is coming. Hope, I don’t die. My lil sis was in quarantine, and now my Father wants to drop by? When Will Cleans House?

Wednesday, September 2, 2020

Gospel 063 ~When Will Cleans House~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can afford a maid. I’ll admit I drove my last cleaning lady away, asking to see her Yabbos. That’s embarrassing enough. How about my BFF Indiana Gone? When she would come over, I went into a freaking cleaning frenzy. Hell, she told me once that she liked my shrimp pasta, and if I made her some, she’d give me a blowjob. Will he cook, will he clean, will he order takeout, options? All the above. Which brings me to today. The best maid in the world is a man thinking he’ll get laid.

What have I been doing instead of talking to you? I’m proud to say I’ve never been given a swirly. However, this morning I had my head in two toilets. I washed the dishes, cleared out some sex toys. As we speak, I should still be at it. Of course, My Dæmon is all confused. He misses Indiana Gone as do I. Talk about one in a million, and I still speak to her, that’s something. Now before I get into Yabbos or make another mess, I can’t help but contemplate what it takes for me to get it up… to clean. I swear I have been sitting in squalor for months. Inspector Echo, the plague is still upon us, the Coronavirus (COVID-19). It’s like donning clean underwear just in case you die. If I kept talking to MILF Tres, I would have gotten around to doing something sooner. Now we have what I can’t talk about at all, Echo.

Death, though, my “father” is coming over today with a mattress. If he shows up, it might as well be with a coffin. A sad state of affairs, believing he is trying to kill me and so close to The DAY. My sister was in quarantine, and now my “father” wants to show up, hmm?

One way or another, it looks like I’ll end up on my back. Am I getting my house in order? Once again, I have the time. Only on top of cleaning and chatting away, I’m burying myself in depravity. I’ve been commenting on a new English girl because ain’t nobody thinking about Cherry. There’s been drooling around the Boobless Wonder and Tifa Lockhart. Damn, they both remind me of “HER.”

Doubt “Dad” will check my laptop or closet, stuff, and thangs… When Will Cleans House.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 075 ~How Many Wills Later~

As the song goes Gotta Have The Money if you want to get the honey and that I have, well until October perhaps or the next pretty face; still makes me feel like a schoolboy but what’s my age again? “How Many Wills Later”

Saturday, September 14, 2019

Log 075 ~How Many Wills Later~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now, and it’s been one week since “The Day.” Well, that’s having faith that I will survive the rest of this day (Friday the 13th). Indiana Gone got me close to a machete for Christmas last year. Anyway, time to focus on one more revolution around the sun. Two weeks in and how close am I to that million? $10.00 down from this week and last. Still there’s life in me, haven’t even checked how long I’ve gone without Fapping. Oh and porn, only educational, or ripping off ExCoGi’s model pages right?

With all the writing I do, I’ve never written a will. I’m not suicidal but if there was a button to end it all right now? Yeah, I would press it by accident. I’ve announced I’m going to die over the years. There have been some attempts, but if I died today who would get all my stuff? Hell, how much am I offering models these days? Lady Lu that’s what nobody understands, that rush, adrenaline, motivation. Sex is one thing but when I got MILF Dos to take off her clothes. You know having that sort of power, I want more. It’s not like I’m going into photography anytime soon. How many times in one week have I told you about my studies? When I was back in school I never hungered for knowledge most days. History was my subject, and some science but they never teach you the fun stuff. The wrong word?

The things that make you proud that get you to say, I want to do that one day. I might not have the patience, which explains today. Once a week on Craigslist, posting would be $260.00. I paid more for my first model. Should math be my subject now? I hated that above all others. Didn’t stop me from wasting about an hour again, working on a model page. How many days has it been since I talked to Outskirts Press? As the song goes, “Cause I just wanna look good for you.” My novel and funny how they were barking until they got my money and now radio silence. Publishers along with the rest of the world since “The Day.” One more reason I call it that, the end of my existence Lady Lu. When anybody cares again I ask How Many Wills Later.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 069 ~Will’s Got New Beef~

So I survived The Day, wasn’t the point not to be invisible, when it comes to my age I don’t mind so much, but still I should call Ruby Tuesday and them a piece of my mind and Arby’s says they have the meats. “Will’s Got New Beef”

Sunday, September 8, 2019

Log 069 ~Will’s Got New Beef~

To Will:
I AM a Millionaire right now; you should hope to say that next year. Keep the Positive Vibes that’s why you have temptations. These include Riley Reid, Talin Shields, Tegan Mohr. The amazing cosplayer Jessica Nigri and some Ecchi/Hentai in Zone-Tan. One more reason to love anime am I right? Let’s not go asking, “What’s My Age Again?” THE DAY is over, and you’re alive. Time is not on anybody’s side though. One more enemy to the list and I’m sorry I added a new one. For the record FUCK Ruby Tuesday (LANGUAGE).

Speaking of yesterday, I did help the environment by cutting up that pile of plastic rings. I also got rid of those containers of Dasani water. Yes, I sound like I want to make you a spokesman for certain corporations. Only you have decided not to go that route. If anything you want to damn The Day Job. You can say Wendy’s and Target are garbage because you don’t work there anymore. Don’t go putting things out into the universe though about your current position. I know you can’t help being fearful and confused about such a place. Let’s not forget about hate and worry? Again THE DAY and your “father” uttering those two STUPID words. In that case, Hulu, Regal, Team USA, the bank, and “lender” all suck. What about the beef with as always SIGH Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 013 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 020 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” B III Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Answering “M Anime” As I Answer “Indiana Gone” And “Cherry”
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Beautiful Tears (Enemies To Lovers) C.P. Mandara
    Completed
  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 020 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” B III Deserves
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Not Getting Fired From The Day Job Now
  6. I AM Finishing Unhinged By Nicole Cypher

Half the list again which is still a 50.5 F. What do I have about writing book reviews, even on excellent titles? While I was saving the planet, I should have registered my firstborn. It would have cost less than that small amount of steak, tiny potato and a few shrimp from Ruby Tuesday. Of course you should be working on the book instead of thinking of ways to get girls naked. Hell anything is better than dealing with The Day Job. Are you only feeling like Scrooge today when it comes to money? Would you rather be angry or sexed-up? How about Express Checkout like 1408 but you’re not suicidal? Still, you don’t need days like yesterday or like anytime at The Day Job. Stop thinking of the worse days of your life. Why not the very best Will?

Thing is you like beef and pretty flesh, and what does that get you, enemies? Too bad you don’t have Drogon, Will’s Got New Beef.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 076 ~Will Etch In Stone~

A hot day today or is that me being sick, maybe my anger was burning my brain giving me fever dreams of making a lot of money, a million dollars to be exact and I’ll have a few days to think on that, give myself ideas. “Will Etch In Stone.”

Saturday, September 15, 2018

Episode 076 ~Will Etch In Stone~

Hey Lady Lu,
Give Me One Reason not to believe it other than the fact that Bruce Lee said “be like water” and that can break down a stone, and in one way I’m attempting to erase bad habits, at the same time, I want to mean what I say. So what is it that I mean to say, a part of me knows it’s a stupid thought with all my broken resolutions, the fact that I can’t ever seem to accomplish my six impossible things, I fell asleep sitting here but before I see “The Day” again, I’m going to make One Million Dollars.

Now I’m sure Lady Lu that by tomorrow I’ll probably have forgotten about this, but today at work it suddenly came to me, by next year I’ll be a millionaire, that’s it, no more, no less. When I was a child I thought, that all it would take is two hundred dollars and all my problems would be solved, well congrats, I’m sitting on a thousand dollars, all part of my Alamo Fund. Am I beginning to turn around perhaps, instead of planning how to die, planning how to live and not day by day but in the long run? Hell, I’m still attempting to get through this day’s sickness.

Considering I didn’t have to deal with Dumb, Dumber, Dumbest, and the general manager stayed out of my face for the most part, so It Was A Good Day minus being sick, again thinking long term. An attempt to be healthy and what did it get me; I can’t let that stop me though, and this was the first time I tried to set a real time limit, then again why am I writing so late? If it helps I finished reading one more novel, that’s something else to put in stone, I’m a lifetime reader, I always get sick before work but when I eat it’s worse, and I keep thinking I’m going to make that money in a year and I have no idea how dear Lady Luna.

You take the first step, and that should be tomorrow, but it’s already late and if I were to take a chance at dinner, who knows if I’m getting over this sickness and my son isn’t doing too well either. As I told “Indiana Gone” when it rains it pours, if only sweat was falling like tears or the bottles of Sprite I’ve been downing like water all day today but yes I am working towards One Million Dollars this time next year, I shouldn’t forget, Will Etch In Stone.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 069 ~Well Will Wasn’t Lit~

I’ve never been one for burning books… well except if those books happen to have my name on them, or from a blog here or there but as you can probably see I haven’t been on fire lately anyway. “Well Will Wasn’t Lit”

Saturday, September 8, 2018

Episode 069 ~Well Will Wasn’t Lit~

Hey Lady Lu,
Give Me One Reason other than they burn books at 451 degrees, that we shouldn’t say goodbye to Summer just yet or that I haven’t made a wish on a star forever, so why on Earth would I need candles? This whole week, I’ve expected squad lights, an interrogation room, I’ve seen the sun in the sky and the light reflected on nickels and dimes, cash burning a hole in my pocket, while I’ve watched others lights vanish into Hellfire itself easily.

Can we at least agree that the cops aren’t looking for me? With as many as I’ve seen… probably not without a healthy dose of Electroconvulsive Therapy (yes I looked that up). Maybe one good release but I’m back on NO FAP. Should I get back to writing then and be warmed by my fire… probably not today, a man has to eat and while I would prefer another type of Cherry Pie than what I had on “The Day” well DoorDash is enlightening. Speaking of which I’m sure you’re interested how “The Day” turned out and I would say that I’ve seen the light, but you know how I tend to repeat history and so I didn’t need it to know *sigh* That’s How You Know you f***** up.

Should a person get more responses than the age facing them, that would be thirty-four, besides “Indiana Gone,” “Okay,” my immediate family (that’s three) Pizza Hut, and OKC, nobody knew, seven messages and I made sure the Ranches down in Nevada didn’t know. I didn’t need anyone trying to make a buck off of me, but again DoorDash did, and I regret that because I didn’t want to get off my lazy butt for McDonald’s and I’m out fifteen dollars. “Indiana Gone” did pay me back a lot plus another fifty for “The Day” but all that’s going towards Project Alamo, seriously I’m still Alive, how and why, inquiring minds?

So is there a silver lining other than my beard in the bathroom lights, what about some light at the end of the road, and am I not on the Highway To Hell which is the only light that remains constant in this life? Who knows what I will find in the blaze that seeks to swallow me. In All The Stars which have existed much longer than I can ever remember. But, so you know, Well Will Wasn’t Lit.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 068 ~Will To See Tomorrow~

I am not a prophet though if the future is anything like I write about, um you should be running, only today/tomorrow well… you know I like looking five minutes ahead, and here I am twenty-four hours in advance. “Will To See Tomorrow?”

Friday, September 7, 2018

Episode 068 ~Will To See Tomorrow~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Give me one reason other than I’ll be sleeping in my bed, but of course, I couldn’t possibly know that seeing as I’m writing this a day before. Honestly, Lady Sophia cut me some slack, this is the one day I’m allowed to miss, and you didn’t even exist. How did you get so lucky and why was I so strong that another year has passed and I would say for the worst sadly but about today?

I don’t know what to tell you; if it’s another typical day I’ll be at the house not worried about my writing which is one less thing in a sea of troubles; I always say I’ll spend it in bed crying but I “rarely” do. I’m probably exhausted, there is so much I did yesterday and for what, I asked for this day off for obvious reasons but I wanted to clean the house, cut the grass, possibly find food and I’m still sitting in bed. Of course, I’ve had a conversation with Dirty Diana, but that’s still about my Pinterest concerns and I know I must be boring you, who knows about the future?

“Lawgiver, who knows about the future?”

The Lawgiver “Perhaps only the dead.” Battle for the Planet of the Apes (1973)

Okay so if I can’t write about tomorrow/today in reality how about if I’m still alive after thirty-four, how would I like to spend it… with a family, my firstborn, my wife, the children who share my DNA, poor them. Positive vibes, I’m really “trying” Lady Sophia but what about an end of the world orgy which is where all my novels nowadays are headed, yes a prior conversation. I’m having trouble thinking of something else, having my books as bestsellers, money, power, should I make a wish, that would involve cake which would include another trip to the store and as far as my favorite foods, I was sick today/yesterday, thank you Taco Bell.

I will live to see today/tomorrow especially since I downed a 5-hour ENERGY so I can clean house literally, you would think I’m expecting a party or some company, a miracle even and I don’t count, well you know. Today is only one more day, to think I might have gotten serious about blogging and what good came from this, what emerged from me arriving on the planet, does anyone have Will To See Tomorrow?

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 063 ~A Will For Monday~

Why do we only have the lesser of two evils, in fact, why do I applaud the fact that Monday rolls around and I’ll still be living like this because I know things may get worse, whether I do something or don’t. Not much motivation. “A Will For Monday”

Sunday, September 2, 2018

Episode 063 ~A Will For Monday~

To Will:
Give Me One Reason besides it is your turn, and I’ll tell you, you have a 99.9% guarantee that you will get up, take a shower, get dressed, arrive at work on time, do whatever you have to, return to the house, and walk the little boy. It’s after that when things get iffy though you will speak to Madam Justice. What I’m “trying” to explain is, what if you treated every day like a Monday, or any other day you “MUST” face.

Another reason you’re avoiding the mirror but the nose doesn’t lie, a chat amongst men is only one thing in several you must do today, take a shower, perhaps eat something that doesn’t come out of a box, despite what I went through to get it. How about treating today like you’re writing for NaNoWriMo; nobody is keeping tabs on you, nobody cares, but you have to earn the right to wear that writer’s t-shirt. It seems that today has become all about cleaning, which is why we are talking right now instead of two hours ago, emails, the car, procrastination, or success in progress, how about Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 012 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
Failed
3. “I Will” Review “The Art Of Peace”
Failed
4. I Will Make It To The Library
Completed
5. I Will Finish “Ven” by Ker Dukey and K. Webster
Failed
6. I Will Edit At Least One Chapter of “Apocalypse Rush” (Novel)
Failed

Will you be the one to break this streak of F’s, 17.5 to be exact and thank goodness I somehow found the strength to get off my lazy ass and get to the library right, a day before they started doing maintenance and that’s what you have to do on yourself. When’s the last time there was any good news? Hell, all I can say about last night is I drank hot chocolate instead of stuffing my face with a handful of marshmallows again. It doesn’t end there my friend, looks like you drew the short straw in fifty-two weeks and surviving this well you always do, but it will never get better and given today’s events, Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Survive “The Day”
4. I Will Not Get Arrested, Be Not So Fearful
5. I Will Finish “Ven” by Ker Dukey and K. Webster
6. I Will Edit At Least One Chapter of “Apocalypse Rush” (Novel)

Pay particular attention to three and four. How you spend “The Day” I hope, what, that it is better than last year, that everyone forgets it, maybe that it never happened, which brings us to four, you didn’t do anything, and it cost you everything. Why can’t you order yourself to do what is necessary like the seven years wasted at the day job, Throw The Covers, over me because again it is your turn and besides The Day what could be worse than wanting to force the future my friend, A Will For Monday?

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 062 ~A Willing Twenty-Four Hours~

I should adopt the attitude I once had when I was back in school. When somebody asked how was your day; you say “I don’t want to talk about it” and for once I’ve got nothing to say, but I’m waiting for “The Day.” A Willing Twenty-four Hours

Saturday, September 1, 2018

Episode 062 ~A Willing Twenty-Four Hours~

Hey Lady Lu,
Give Me One Reason not to think about this or that, have you noticed that the more you try to ignore a particular subject, the more it comes up, sort of like air, you don’t think about it, but I’m sure everybody has had a moment where they needed to catch it. If they didn’t, are they living or surviving, though for me it usually comes as a moment of anxiety, how I *sigh* plenty in my writing and I saw something pretty interesting on Instagram today.

Today, I’m more awake and not surprisingly lazier but “trying” not to think about things such as porn, takes plenty out of me but I haven’t taken any naps…am I coming out of my Depression maybe? Why Depression, well we’ll get to that but my little boy is a pain, and it’s hard to stay mad at him, I’m so used to having him around and then to send him away to time out, hurts me more than you, no my “father” found joy in my pain. Speaking of pain I’ve also gotten into buying more books, should I be thinking about how much I failed this week, including reading and I don’t have to, if I knuckle down and get to work right now…

Yeah, the story of my life which leads me to the huge thing I don’t want to think about that starts with the letter D, no not that, and yeah Depression but “The Day” is coming up soon, the worse day of my life. Tell me Lady Luna what could be worse than that, DEATH ha when you think of the odds of any one human being and no I am not a man of faith but neither am I a man of science or anything. Yes, I know words, and that’s what my life should be, hell what my life is; not that they have brought me any such thing as I look over my keywords for twenty-four hours.

One more failure as I didn’t hide ‘the Day” from people deep enough and now I have to look forward to disappointment, disgust, Dad and plenty more D words except the one that’s driving me crazy. Didn’t do me any favors in high school and I had so many names that Willie was only one more, and here I am, one more day down, closer to “The Day” and my Lady Lu how I have wasted A Willing Twenty-four Hours.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 061 ~Gives Me The Willies~

Writing has a way of revealing secrets, why don’t I do it more often then, maybe because some secrets should remain under the covers like me, but I decided to get up and live the dream perhaps the nightmare. “Gives Me The Willies”

Friday, August 31, 2018

Episode 061 ~Gives Me The Willies~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Give Me One Reason, not to be scared of horror movies, and I’ll merely say Take A Look At My Life, a testament to The Walking Dead and yeah maybe you’ll say I’m only lazy, there’s no denying that. I’ve been thinking a lot about these people at the day job, celebrating fifteen years on the job, I’m on seven myself and if I should ever make it to fifteen years in retail, do you know what I would want Sophia honestly?

“Hey, sweetheart. Let me tell you something. You, uh, you have my permission. I ever turn into one of those things? Do me a favor, blow my fucking head off.” ― Dawn of the Dead

Does that sound somewhat harsh to you, yesterday to me is not a tale worth retelling, but I’m going to make a real journal entry for once and tell you about today; I woke up about 6:30 am, and my little boy wanted his walk, but daddy was busy playing The Walking Dead. While outside a young girl said “oh no” which is standard for any of the female species upon seeing me, her mother overheard which got her to bring their dog in that’s always running around. Climbed back into bed to continue my Walking Dead session and then broke my No Fap streak again in less than twenty-four hours, I’m not proud of it or what got me off, damn these Beautiful Girls.

“For no particular reason I just kept on going. I ran clear to the ocean. And when I got there, I figured, since I’d gone this far, I might as well turn around, just keep on going. When I got to another ocean, I figured, since I’d gone this far, I might as well just turn back, keep right on going.” ― Forrest Gump (1994)

Woke up so my kid could answer nature’s call and as I told Indiana Gone, I went all “Forrest Gump” since I’d gone this far, I might as well eat breakfast, put on pants, fix another bowl, wash dishes, make the bed, even talk to you. You know something Lady Sophia, I’ve had an epiphany, maybe that’s why dogs are blessed with four legs because today he needed to be the man and I’m no more than an animal, so he loaned me legs. Speaking of being an animal my second epiphany or more an understanding from The Walking Dead or maybe Detroit: Become Human, a bit of both, I haven’t earned the right to be alive Lady Sophia, I live vicariously through the books I read and write, movies, music, games because when I walk outside the thing is:

“But he got real quiet. He said he was dead the minute he stepped in to enemy territory. Every day he woke up and told himself, rest in peace. Now get up and go to war. And then after a few years of pretending he was dead… he made it out alive. That’s the trick of it, I think. We do what we need to do and then, we get to live. But no matter what we find in DC, I know we’ll be okay. Because this is how we survive. We tell ourselves… that we are the walking dead.” ― The Walking Dead 05X10

That’s why I hate “The Day” life to me was never a gift and when two people who gave it regret it why shouldn’t I, sure people at work laugh, people around town too. I give people stuff to do, but if I didn’t exist, people would rest in peace, hell so would I. I don’t have to fear the monsters dear Lady Sophia. I can write to my heart’s content. This life is much scarier. And sitting here another day, going out, almost thirty-four years dodging the box my friend Gives Me The Willies.

I Will Have No Fear