Lesson 156 ~Satisfaction, The Death Of Desire~

What do we want, you know something, what do I want, at the end of the day that is all that truly matters is what do I want and if that’s another person, well lucky them or not? “Satisfaction, The Death Of Desire,” is it

Monday, December 4, 2017

Lesson 156 ~Satisfaction, The Death Of Desire~

Ninth Rule Madam Justice,
No Fear, and again I find myself lying for is it our fears that seek us out or we that seek them and in so doing conquer them only to seek out newer ones. If there is one thing that none of us can honestly be it’s satisfied for the moment we are, I believe we seek to be possible?

It’s perhaps this possibility that makes the dead so frightening, the damned, Walkers, zombies whatever you wish to call them because death should be the end, eternal rest. If we want or need nothing then what is it that drives us, I’m not talking the meaning of life or purpose, but all we do is to simulate death somehow only to rise again and begin the process once more. How does one define desire, well I honestly have no wish to look up the possible million definitions but here’s what I find it to be.

A wolf must kill when he is hungry, the wish to end life need not be present but gets done in the name of satisfying the wolf, for hours, a day, who knows but it is done, again and again, the wolf will go unsated until death. The same I will say about a man; personally, I want to eat I must work, hatred of this leads me to grander gestures, hunger for more and so I become more than I am, seeking the apex of life before death. It is only with men however that our appetites grow with the rise of our power, for everything else it is merely a physical transaction perhaps.

Everything else living takes more merely to match its size and strength but no not man, it is how civilization came to be as we know it, an object of a lifetime worth of desire. Desire is one way that I seek to break my fear; I must desire more than the fear itself, a lesson I once read about from Socrates I think, he said, when you want wisdom more than you need air…

When I want violence more than my peace, words more than silence, lust more than fantasy… maybe that’s not an even trade, but then again I am human, and humans want more and as I intend to live for now Satisfaction, The Death Of Desire.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 092 ~Is Creativity An Orphan~

I never meant to leave my creative spark behind or maybe it’s running away, it’s the reason Braxton still has a leash and a big fence, but now I think the ideas are back the voices… am I crazy? “Is Creativity An Orphan”?

Sunday, October 1, 2017

Lesson 092 ~Is Creativity An Orphan~

Hey Lady Lu
No Fear and no ladies either, really what am I still talking to you for… I’m just kidding but I didn’t kid properly if I hurt your feelings. Anyway today’s lesson, I was thinking of that saying ‘necessity is the mother of invention’ but what is my need and that’s easy, someone’s got to hear my story.

I’m still going about it all half-assed but didn’t Martin Luther King Jr have a dream, maybe I should feel bad about using such a great man’s concept but I can dream too and now I’m starting to formulate a plan. For example, you know that brothel I always dreamed about owning, like Dennis Hof, I brought it up yesterday, another one of my Second Circle Creations ideas, I was thinking I could do that with my writing, talk about going mad, seven different characters inside my head. I go crazier by the day don’t you think and what does this have to do with the lesson… Bereft of family, friends, and a world I don’t like a writer has become an orphan and when the words are embraced, maybe we don’t feel so alone?

Which brings me to “Degrees of Falling” I’m still planning on writing that novella, ‘six degrees of separation’ might be a more apt title but since we know what I’m writing it about… Maybe I owe my ISP a big favor today because the service has been sucky which is actually forcing me to focus on my writing but our chat is still going nowhere am I right or am I right? How about the idea that I kill off most of my characters but I don’t want to give my latest story away now that the thought is finally coming to me, and it might actually be accomplished, right?

Some of the best writing is supposed to come from pain and suffering or so I’ve heard, it’s part of what I believe makes me a good dominant; I’m submissive to my writing, damn near a masochist when it comes to what writing actually does to me. In turn, I become the dominant of my words and my feelings, and while I rather not give ‘some people’ the satisfaction I finally know what to write.

So what have we learned today besides the fact that I must really be missing porn “Runaways 10 (Kitty Marie)” to be precise but she was a runaway, not an orphan, but when creativity strikes I don’t know today it just felt like I was resurrected with it, ideas in my head so again I ask Is Creativity An Orphan.

I Will Have No Fear